Summary: My name is Alfred F. Jones. I was 13 when I found out I wasn't completely human. If only I didn't learn that from my psycho science teacher.
Warnings: Violence, cursing, terrible puns will be used. More specific warnings for chapters will be put before the chapters. Oh, and probably character death. Haven't decided yet.
Rated: T for now. I mean, it's not going to get much worse than the PJ series, and that's directed at people like 12 and older, so.. Idk. Rating things it hard.
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or the Percy Jackson series (or any related series by the same author), they are owned by Himaruya and Rick Riordan respectively. I also do not own anything that may appear that is official or anything. Like if I mention a movie, I don't own it. Literally I only own my fics and I make no profit off of them whatsoever except the joy of when people like it. Emotional profit.
Alfred's POV.
Chapter 1: The Teacher From Hell (Literally)
Finding out that I was a halfblood was probably the most shocking thing in my life.
I mean, yeah, there have been some other shocking things, but that one was the biggest shock. Or at least I would think that learning that you're not even completely human would be a really big shock, but hey, if you've got a one up on me then please tell, I'd love to hear it.
Anyways, a quick warning before we get started. If you see yourself in my shoes, if this sounds like your life, then please stop reading. I mean really, how do you have time to read anyways? If you're in the same situation that I'm in in like half of this then you're probably running or something and there's literally no time to pick up a book or a phone or anything. Actually, demigods aren't even supposed to have phones, so… really I guess if you're reading this on an electronic device then either your mortal parent doesn't know you're a demigod or you're actually a mortal and you know what, I think that Percy knows how to do a warning better than I can so I'm just going to stop and tell you to read his, there you go.
I had heard of hellish teachers, but this one really takes the cake. Ms. Farr's like a good 3 inches shorter than me and horrible in the personality department. I mean, yeah, she looks like she'd make someone cupcakes with sprinkles, but she also looks like she could watch a puppy be murdered and not bat an eye. Or that's what her eyes scream anyways. I try to avoid eye contact at all costs.
I somehow managed to make it most of the way through the year so far. No clue how that happened, but you know, I'm not going to question it. I mean really, I haven't had the best of luck with schools in the past. I've got horrid ADHD and my mom doesn't want to let the doctors treat me for whatever reason. I think she thinks I'm one of those indigo children or something? Though I'm not sure if she believes in that psychic stuff.
Yeah though, ADHD caused a lot of problems. Most of the time I only got in trouble for wandering out of class or tossing paper balls off the ceiling to see if I could get one to land in the trashcan. (Or the teacher's bun in one case.) But on a few occasions it would end up being something big. Like that one time I unscrewed something and I ended up causing the school's floor to be covered in like an inch of water. That wasn't a good day. I mean, how was I supposed to know that it was some part of a water pipe I was unscrewing? I was like 8.
Another time was when I somehow got on the school roof? I mean, I'm still confused about how I got up there, and my mom didn't seem too surprised, but the school wasn't so kind about it.
Though that might be because I also accidentally broke a skylight.
My mom actually got mad about that one.
But yeah, this year had been going pretty great and stuff. But then we got informed of a school field trip. I mean, it probably wasn't going to go that bad, but I doubt it'll go great. Field trips and I don't really mix. You'd think that they'd learn not to take me anywhere dangerous at this point, let's take the locker room destroyer to the zoo, nothing will go wrong. Of course he won't manage to get into the tiger enclosure. Noooo.
This particular field trip was probably going to go okay though. Why, might you ask? Because Mattie's there of course! He's my best friend, practically my brother. He's a bit taller than me, not that I'd admit to that out loud. Blond hair and violet eyes. People mistake us for brothers a lot and sometimes we just go with it, like, why not. He's really good at playing this thing he calls a flute, but really it looks more like a recorder or something.
Matthew's also got some problems with his legs. Something about his muscles didn't develop right in them or something, so they're a bit oddly shaped and don't function correctly. He always wears pants and stuff, even when he complains that it's too hot out. I guess that's part of his legs not looking normal though, covering them up.
He's also a vegetarian, which is something I don't really see how anyone can be, I mean, hamburgers man. Tofu just isn't the same.
The bus ride to the zoo was uneventful, aside from this ass throwing things at Mattie. It was mainly paper balls and stuff, but still. Mattie never wants me doing anything about it even though he knows I can most likely beat these guys with strength alone, even if I don't really look that muscular.
They didn't call me the locker room destroyer for nothing, but that's another story.
Anyways, when we got there it was a pretty nice day. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, all that jazz. Okay, not really. It was silent in the worst of ways. The sky was clouded, overcast, and the temperature seemed to have dropped a good ten degrees since we got on the bus. Mattie seemed to be really nervous about something and that was kinda making me nervous.
We all got checked in and all that, you know, all that stuff that goes along with being a large school group.
I hung around the back with Mattie as we usually did with school functions. The creepy science teacher was annoyingly close to us. I mean really, she could have stuck closer to the front, I swear I could have smelled her perfume from where we were. Well almost, the wind wasn't gong that direction, but whatever.
Looking at the animals was fairly interesting. Mattie kept whispering things about how the animals shouldn't be caged up and stuff. Though I think he understood for some of the endangered species, since in the wild they probably wouldn't survive, but still.
We didn't really see much before we were pulled to this thing about birds of prey, like falcons and owls. A show of sorts that the zoo does to show off their flight patterns and how intelligent they are.
Sadly, this is also where my field trip turned sour.
The moment the birds were released they made straight for me, a few of my classmates screamed as they ducked for cover. The birds landed on my shoulders which kinda hurt, talons aren't nice when your not sufficiently padded.
A few of the teachers tried to calm down the students as the people in charge of the birds tried to coax them off my shoulders. My science teacher just grinned slightly, like I had just made her day.
The falcon was the last to let go of me and once it did, my science teacher pulled me to the door out of the room to leave under the pretense of "making sure the student is okay."
Yeah right.
It took me a moment to realize that it wasn't the exit that we went through, but that we were in some hallway. Almost as soon as the door was shut she turned and looked at me. I can honestly say that her expression will probably haunt me forever.
She glared at me as if I were the spawn of Satan or something. But at the same time she looked kind of hungry and that was really off putting because yeah, I thought that Ms. Farr was a creepy science teacher, but I didn't think she was a cannibal.
"Your friend isn't here to save you this time. Prepare for your end, Alfred Foster Jones." Ms. Farr hissed at me. I blinked, surprised for a moment because either I was crazy, or her canines had gotten longer.
"What are you talking about? Who's been saving me?" I asked her. Honestly, it was confusing. I really only hung out with Mattie and I doubt he'd be able to save me really.
She hissed at me again, "Your satyr friend. The one you call Mattie. Now stay still. I'd hate to get myself covered in blood."
I stared at her for a second, "You're crazy." I backed up towards the door that we came in, which might not have been the best idea in hindsight, but it seemed like a good option at the moment.
"You are naïve, Son of the sky. Innocent to the horrors of your world. Perhaps I should kill you slowly to show what you could have missed." She said as she grabbed my hair and shoved my head to the sky. I felt my neck pop from the force and my brain went straight to vampires. How else would she be so strong and come on, the teeth practically spoke for themselves.
Just as she was about to sink her fangs into me, I heard a strangled gasp and suddenly nothing was holding my head anymore. I blinked a few times and looked around.
Standing just a bit down the hall was Mattie, and he was holding a bow.
Okay, so, I know I should be updating my other fics, but this has been stewing for the past month and a half and I'm having trouble finding inspiration and motivation for some of my other fics and I feel terrible about that.
There will probably be some similarities between some of Al's experiences and some of Percy's experiences, but I'll try my hardest to keep them different.
It's probably not that hard to guess who Al's godly parent is.
