"Happy Valentine's day!"

Tweek cocked an eyebrow as he gently pulled the door closed behind him. The engine of his mind had yet to consume the statement thrown at him, until it was punctuated by a handful of balloons jammed into his fist, revealing Craig's beaming face from behind them like a rising sun. His man-purse-bag-thing fell from his shoulder into the crook of his elbow.

"…Valentine's…?"

"Yeah, February fourteenth. Today." Craig pulled him into a slow, one-armed hug, talking as he did so, "I had no idea what to get you, because all the traditional gifts are for, you know, girls, and I didn't think you'd have much use for flowers or frilly panties or whatever. I never know what you'll like, anyway, so I got you, um, some of that expensive coffee that comes in the tiny bags and this thing, if you don't like it pretend you do." Having long unstuck himself from a rigid Tweek, he handed him another gift, which he took with the hand not being pulled ceiling-ward. It was a small, overly soft teddy bear, pale blue and yellow, ugly if anything, but Tweek knew not to expect Craig to be the best judge of cuteness (he did, after all, insist that Tweek himself was adorable.)

Tweek blinked down at it. "You hate Valentine's day."

"What? No I don't."

"Yes you do. You always talk about how it's…it's a capitalistic holiday started by greeting card companies where people buy each other's affection and single people feel lonely and something like that."

"Oh. That's just what all single people say. When you're actually in a relationship it's just an excuse for extra loving." He shrugged and laughed, his face almost cherubic with festivity.

Tweek maintained eye contact with the soft item in his left hand, his eyes slowly narrowing.

"You really hate it that much? Uh, sorry—" His voice was cut off by the sudden slamming of teddy bear into his face.

Tweek held it over his mouth and nose firmly with both hands, balloons emitting echoing thuds as they bounced against the ceiling of Craig's foyer and one another, and the two fell to the ground, Craig kicking, Tweek's spindly arms holding him down with ant-like strength, until Craig's grey eyes half-disappeared under wrinkled eyelids, then disappeared.

Tweek gently lifted the bear, tentative and alert, checking for tricks, and found none. He dropped it and held his hand over Craig's nostrils, felt a gentle push of air, and stood, scratching the back of his skull under the cushion of blonde hair. He wondered how long he had before Craig woke back up, and how many stores would still have Valentine's day things stocked.

AN: Hurr hurr I only write useless things anymore. Like more useless than most fan fiction. Buuut it's fun? Sorry. I didn't force you to read it. Pout.