Silent Scream:
Prologue
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
His hands are on my throat, tighter than usual – I can feel every wrinkle on his aging hands. He glares at me as I look at him, a string of filthy words falling from his mouth. I know he's directing them at me, he's waiting for a response.
I can't give him one.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
The words are in my head, I try to bring them to lips. I can't – a billion stars appear across my eyes as my head becomes reaquainted with our floor. He picks me up, his sharp nails digging into my skin and I look at him, a million questions in my lifeless eyes.
He merely stares, before he brings back his fist.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
I picture the words on the top right hand corner of my maths classroom. I can't breathe – I wonder if its worth it to try to survive when I know tomorrow will be exactly the same. I try to remember what it was like to be loved. Another blow finds its way to my body. Its nothing for a moment, and then I feel it.
I can't remember.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
He's pausing, there's a drink in his hand and he take a long swig. His breath is back on my face – sweet, too sweet. I know he's been at it again, there's a dealer round the corner. I can feel his knee lifting and I promise myself not to feel the pain. I don't want to give in, to give him what he wants but …
Its too hard.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
His hands are at my arms, a tight clench that he makes no effort to loosen. He's leading me to his Room. The walls are red and the lights are dim. He throws me on the bed. I don't want to scream.
But I do.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
When you phone Childline, you talk to an old woman. Mine was called Kerry. And I could picture her being nice and warm and Caring. Really Caring. Its the only conversation I can remember having with someone who genuinely wanted to help me. He's told me to count my blessings, and she's the only one I have. I know it was one phonecall three years ago, but I used to dream Kerry would come and save me. Its true that she never did, and I know that Kerry probably doesn't remember me,but I love her anyway because she's all I have. Charlie told me that I am what I am because I'm impure and I know he's right.
Because a whore like me doesn't deserve anyone.
