Summary: What if Dave had not kissed Kurt that day? What if instead he got kissed by some random guy he met in the mall? What if that random guy turned out to be Sebastian? Now Dave has to handle Sebastian who has decided that he will teach Dave everything he needs to know about being gay. But Dave's not convinced he is gay. Add in the glee club drama, the warblers, some kick as songs, and a guest appearance of Lady Gaga and Adam Lambert. Can Dave manage to stay in the closet when everyone seems determined to pull him out!
Disclaimer: I do not own anything! If I did then Rachel would have ended up with Puck and Dave would have had a threesome with Sebastian and Kurt. Just kidding...maybe.
Chapter One: What are you afraid of?
Dave was walking through the hallway angrily.
What had made him angry you ask? Well why don't we ask him?
"Hey Karofsky!" yelled Azimo.
Dave paused and turned to face his friend the scowl on his face was still in place.
"What's up man?" Azimo asked.
"Get out of my face!" growled Dave.
Okay that did not go as well as I hoped. I have an idea let us ask again.
Suddenly a light bulb appears over Azimo's head.
"Who the hell shitted on your pizza this morning man," Azimo asked Dave.
Dave made a face of disgust.
"Thanks for the visual dude," Dave said shaking his head.
Azimo shrugged.
"No problem man" Azimo said with a grin.
"I failed my Spanish test," Dave said frustrated.
Aw, I feel bad for Dave. I should tell him that.
"Well, that sucks koala dicks dude," Azimo said.
"I know ma- wait what!" Dave said confused.
"What?" Azimo asked.
"Koala dicks," Dave said before shaking his head and walking away.
"What was it something I said?" yelled Azimo at his friends back.
Dave was storming through the hallway when he noticed Kurt smiling at his phone. He walked past and slapped it out of his hands. Dave felt better already. He made his way to the locker room deciding to skip class and practice his slap shots for hockey. He kind of missed it even though he was on the football team.
"Stop!" yelled Kurt.
Dave ignored him.
"Hey! I am talking to you!" Kurt yelled as he ran in the locker room after Dave.
"Girls' room is next door." Dave said fighting down his panic.
"What is your problem?" Kurt said.
"Excuse me?" Dave said counting to ten in his head like his anger management coach taught him.
"What are you scared of?" asked Kurt.
That's easy spiders, rats, vampires, werewolves. Wait focus Dave focus. "Besides you sneaking in here to peek at my junk?" Dave asked Kurt.
"Oh, yeah, every single straight guy's nightmare that all us gays are secretly out to molest and convert you, well, guess what, ham hock? You're not my type!" Kurt yelled.
Dave tried to push back the hurt he felt.
Not his type?
"That right?" Dave asked hoping Kurt was joking.
"Yeah, I don't dig on chubby boys who sweat too much and are going to be bald by the time they're thirty!" Kurt yelled.
Ouch, and that was uncalled for.
"Don't push me!" Dave yelled balling up his fist.
Fuck anger management that bitch just called him Chubby, Sweaty, and Bald!
"Hit me, because it's not going to change who I am. You can't punch the gay out of me anymore than I can punch the ignoramus out of you!" Kurt screamed.
Give him one more chance then beat the crap out of him.
"I said get out of my face!" Dave shouted.
"You are nothing more than a scared little boy who can't handle how extraordinarily ordinary you are!" Kurt yelled.
Dave growled before bitch slapping Kurt across the face.
"FUCK YOU!," he yelled before shoving Kurt on to the floor, kicking him in the nuts, and fleeing the locker room in tears.
