Well. I decided to come back and re-do this first chapter. I guess I'll try and keep myself motivated to finish this story. I have no idea if this'll be any better than my first attempt, so I welcome any constructive criticism. I'm still experimenting with writing styles, so if things drastically change in later chapters, I apologise.


My name is Ian, and I'm stuck in another universe. Yep, you heard me. Different universe. Although technically, it's just an alternate (and theoretically potential) future of the one I left behind. Anywho, I guess we'll start this story at the beginning. At the start of that fateful day, when everything changed.

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I fire a short burst of rounds from my rifle, then duck back in cover. At a cry of pain from my left, I glance over. Kaidan's leaning on a wall he's using for cover, blood seeping from a wound in his side. Shit! I better make it over there fast. As I run over to him, I see a missile flying towards me. There's no time to dodge. I'm so fucked.

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My eyes fly open, and I breathe heavily. What the hell was that? I've had dreams about Mass Effect before, but never that vivid. The level of realism...was it maybe something I ate? I guess I'll ponder it later. In the meantime, I check the clock on my bedside table. It reads 6:30 am, so I guess I should get up.

I pull myself out of bed and grab some jeans and a t-shirt from the dresser. After putting them on, I make my way to the kitchen. Hmmm...I think I'll have some toast this morning. I quickly prepare my breakfast, and sit down to eat. I had plans to go to the gym today, didn't I. I guess I'll go when I finish breakfast. Finishing my toast, I leave my plate in the sink, and head downstairs, into the lobby, and out the door. It's a short walk from my apartment to the gym, about half a mile, so I don't hurry. The sun is oddly bright today, I wonder why that is?

"Hey Ian," the owner of the gym greets me when I enter, looking up from his paper. "Just here for a quick workout?" He's sweating, so I assume he's taking a break from his exercise right now.

"Actually, I planned to stay for a couple hours." He nods and goes back to his paper, so I go over to the dumbbells, select a pair of 70-pounders, and start doing bicep curls. After 10 reps, I move to the exercise bikes, and go for around 30 minutes. I continue doing exercises until 9:30, at which point I leave.

The walk back to my apartment building is short, but the elevator is painfully slow. Kinda reminds me of the elevators in Mass Effect. I exit the elevator, and open the door of my apartment-wait. What the fuck? There are three men in black suits with dark sunglasses standing around my kitchen table. They're so stereotypical it's not even funny.

"We've been waiting for you, Mr. ****."

I repeat. What. The. Fuck.

"Umm...I'm sorry, but who the hell are you people?"

"Ask us no questions and we'll tell you no lies, Mr. ****. I suggest you lie down." With that, he pulls out a syringe with a strange, greenish liquid in it. The two other men step towards me, reaching for my arms.

"What's going on here? Are you people with the government? What's in that syringe?" My inquiries are ignored as the man on the left grabs my arm. I go to punch the one on my right, but he grabs my fist and twists my arm. Pain shoots up the limb in question, as I struggle with all my might. The men, however, are unshakable. They hold my arms behind me as the leader steps forward.

"Embrace eternity, Mr. ****."

And with that, before I have time to even wonder why he would say that, he thrusts the needle into my neck. My vision fades to black, with the last thing I see being a blue glow, and feeling my body moving with an incredible velocity.

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Ahh. Damn. My head hurts. So does the rest of me, come to think of it. Where the hell am I? I open my eyes to find myself lying on what appears to be a surgical table. What in the world is going on?

"You're awake," says a familiar voice, that, upon looking around the room, I discover to belong to the man in the suit that abducted me. "How fortunate it is that you survived."

"Who the hell are you? Why did you bring me here? Where is here?"

"Well, Mr. ****, to answer your third question, you're in a hospital on the Citadel. The other two answers will come with time." Wait...did he say Citadel? As in, seat of the council, center of galactic civilization, Mass Effect series Citadel? I'm on the motherfucking Citadel?!

That's actually pretty sweet.

"What do you want from me?" I ask, hoping to get more than my previous attempts did.

"I assume you understand that you were brought to another timeline," he says. I nod. "Well, things here have been going strangely. All the major details are the same as in your Mass Effect games, but we needed to bring you in. Another player. Our employer believes that you being here will arbitrarily ensure that everything happens as it should."

"And your employer is?"

"I'm not currently at liberty to say. Our employer likes to remain...illusive."

So, he's part of Cerberus most likely. I have so many questions, but I kinda wanna explore the Citadel.

"So what am I supposed to do here? I mean, I assume you want me to join up with Shepard, but other than that…" I trail off.

"You assume correctly. For now, just hone your combat skills. You have roughly six months until Eden Prime, so just try and get to a point where you could realistically help Shepard on missions. You've been supplied with an omni-tool, 1,000,000 credits, and an apartment on Kithoi Ward. We will keep in contact with you as necessary. For now, you should head to your apartment. Maybe find a job in the area."

"Umm...bye, I guess."

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Damn. The Citadel is freaking amazing. I took a rapid transit shuttle to the Kithoi Ward, and now I'm trying to find the apartment. Ah, here's the place. I go into the building and take the elevator up to my apartment. When the ride is finally over, I get a look at my new living quarters. It's fairly spacious, with a kitchen, dining room, living room, bedroom, and a spare room. The bedroom has a bathroom, as well as the main bathroom. This place is actually really nice. I suppose I should see about a job, preferably one where I could get combat experience.

Now let's see, how do I access the extranet on this omni-tool...there we go, got it. I search for 'job openings'. Conveniently, the first result was for a shipping company looking for warehouse security guards. That's actually really convenient. Alright, looks like I can fill out the application form online. Hmmm...it seems like they might accept a guy with no combat experience, but I do have to provide my own weapons and armor.

Searching for 'weapon and armor store' led me to an Armax Arsenal store on Zakera Ward, so that's where I am now. As I enter, the turian greets me coolly.

"Hello, human." Man, that flanging voice they have is incredible.

"Hello, I'm looking to purchase an assault rifle and a suit of decent armor." I tell him. He points me to the console that lets me browse the stock, and I settle on a set of medium armor. I don't know if I could function in heavy armor. As for an assault rifle…there are actually some guns hanging on the walls, so I decide to take a look. Most are standard fare, Avengers, Vindicators, but one beauty catches my eye. The massive body, the red coloring. That was always my favorite gun in the game. I'm gonna get myself an M-76 Revenant. I point it out to the shopkeeper, who brings it down and racks up the total price.

"Alright, for the rifle, 275,000 credits, the armor is 5,000 credits, so that's a total price of 280,000 credits."

Damn. I knew the rifle was expensive, but 275,000? Well, I've got the money. I set up the transfer on my 'tool and everything's good to go.

"You'll need to go to the C-Sec offices and get a license if you plan on carrying that thing around," the turian says, nodding at my new Revenant.

"Thanks for letting me know," is my response.

I exit the shop, my armor in a compact case and my Revenant collapsed and under one arm. One rapid transit ride later, I'm back at my apartment. According to my omni-tool, which was calibrated to the same time it was back on Earth, it's 8:30 pm now. Unconsciousness isn't really like sleep, so I won't count that. That means I've been up for 14 hours now. I think I'll go to sleep, see about the license in the morning.

I'm here, in another universe, on the Citadel. That's amazing. And fucked up. I guess I'll make the best of my life here, until Shepard shows up.


Alright guys, this is my attempt at re-writing my attempt at a Mass Effect self-insert. I hope it doesn't entirely suck. Again, any constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.

Swampy…AWAAAAAAAYYYYY!