This is my first fan fiction. Constructive criticism is welcomed in the review box. ENJOY!

Pudge pov:

5 months after

The pain is agonizing. I find myself waking at all hours of the night screaming. WHY?! How could she do this to me?! That bitch! I feel like I could puke. Either that or I wake up with a strong urge to crap. Either way my stomach hurts.

"PPPPUUUUDDDDDGGGIIIEEEEE! TIME TO GET UP!" The Colonel shouted as I lay there in bed.

"I don't wanna."

"I snagged you a buferiedo….."

"Okay, okay, fine I'm up. Happy?"

"Very, thanks for asking."

I entered the hallway and that's when I saw it. Her memoriam. I froze. I couldn't move, so I just dropped to floor and sat there. I sat there staring at it as I pulled out a cigarette. It made me sick. People walked past me with their judging eyes. Who are they to judge me? They didn't know her like I did. I was in love with her.

"You can't smoke in here, are you crazy?! If you get caught you could get expelled! Don't let her ruin your life."

"Who?" I asked.

"Don't act stupid, the girl in the memoriam."

"Who the hell are you?! You think you can just waltz into a new school for the first time and act like you know everything?! You don't know shit!"

"My names sezlynn and I know what you're going through."

"Whatever." I Stood to my feet and walked away.

I decided to ditch class and go back to the dorm. I pulled the colonels vodka milk out of the fridge and turned on reruns of 48 hours. I drank the milk and vodka I thought about what it might be like if Alaska hadn't died. Would she have really left her boyfriend for me, or would the kiss just have been a one time drunken thing. I should stop stressing over it.

I heard a knock at the door. Who is it? "Santa Clause, you dumb ass" , I hear the colonels voice shout out. I opened the door. What happened to your key? "I lost it." How? "I don't even know man, I dug in my pocket and it was just gone" I'm sure it'll turn up. Lets go out to the woods and take a smoke break.

We were walking through the woods to our spot, when we came across it. It just sat there. Not like it could move, it's an inanimate object. My face suddenly became wet with tears. Alaska's cigarettes….