Kankuro Discovers FanFiction's
A/N: Hey! Awaii here! Its almost 5am and guess what…I.CANT.SLEEP! So, I'm going to write this. Why you ask? Cause I LOVE Kankuro, and there isn't enough fic's on him. Sorry everyone, but this is strictly Kankuro!
So, lets get started. And before you go on about 'you didn't do a disclaimer'. I'm gonna do one now. If you think I won Naruto or anything that has to do with it, then your dumber than my kitten-whom chases a laser, and tries to climb up walls. If I did own Naruto, it wouldn't be called "Naruto" it would be called "Sand Siblings" and Naruto would NOT be wearing ORANGE!
Now, on with my story!
Chapter 1: Lemony Fresh
Temari's run off with that lazy ass Kohona chum, Gaara's off doing 'Kage Work' and I'm stuck here…at the house, alone and bored out of my mind! Normally I'd go and train, but today had to be one of those rare days that it decided to rain! Meaning, I cant train!!
So, me being the 'wonderful' brother I am, I walked into Temari's room, only to find nothing! Shouldn't she have a diary or something? That's what girls have…right? All Temari has are scroll, mini-fans, and a comp--Wait! When and How'd Temari get a computer? And where the hell's the hook ups for it?
Sighing, I walked over to her desk, sat don in her-not so comfy-chair, and began to look through her stuff on the computer. Of course, I find nothing I could use against her. Damn, where's she keep all her dark sec-wait. What's this? I moved the mouse on something called, 'Fanfics'. Well, what the hell's that?
After waiting for the page to load, I began scrolling down. And guess what I found-a bunch of stories, about people-who I think I've met before. A few I know I've not met, like this 'Haku' or 'Zabuza' guy. Who the hell are they?
Curiosity getting the best of me, I clicked on a story about Gaara and Naruto. Cant be too bad? Right. The two of them are pretty good friends. And it's got fruit in it. Though I personally prefer grapes instead of lemons. But oh well…its their choice.
AHHH! MY EYES!! quickly hitting the back button. W-What the HELL…it cant be real! Gaara defiantly not! Naruto maybe. I'm defiantly gonna have to have a talk with that orange obsessed baka! And tell him to stay the hell away from my baby brother! No way in hell will I allow such…such action to accrue under my watch!
I quickly shook my head, to erase all disturbing images from my mind. Alright, lets find something else…
As my dark eyes scanned threw the stories, they stopped on one; it has something to do with 'Sandcest'. Raising an eyebrow, I began to wonder what the hell 'Sandcest' was. Hopefully it cant be a bad as the last story….right?
I began to read the first few chapters, thinking this isn't be that bad. Actually a good brother bonding story-that was until I got to the chapter labeled, 'A New Level! The Sandcest Begins!' I read the first few paragraphs, and nearly fell over dead! So that's what 'Sandcest' means. That's worse than the fruity story! We are brothers you sick bastard! There are many things wrong with this story!
First off, I.Like.Girls! And even if I did like guys-which I DON'T-I would not go after My Own Fucking Brother! Second thing wrong with the story, Gaara hasn't slept in…well, forever. Sure Shukaku has been removed from his body, but that doesn't mean he's gonna sleep. He just meditates when he's tired. Then he's ready to go again. The third thing wrong with that story is, Gaara does NOT wear footie pajamas with panda's on them! Fourth, I would not have those kind of thoughts about Gaara if I was trying to get him to sleep. I'd tell him to drink some warm milk, and wa-la you magically get tired.
Clicking the back button once again, I began to look for more stories. Praying to Kami-or whoever's running things up there-to not let me run into anymore Lemony Sandcest stories.
While looking through the other stories, I kept seeing the word 'Mpreg'. And one question ran through my mind, can ya guess what is it? What's 'Mpreg'? I obviously don't want to read anything else like the last two stories! That's for sure! So-me being the smart guy I am-I decide to look up the word 'Mpreg' on Ask .com (remove the spaces)
The definition I find is: Well actually…there isn't one. Well, that was helpful…not! That's not even a definition, that's just a bunch of gibberish! So once again, curiosity gets the best of me.
This time the story was about that dog kid; Inuzuka Kiba, and one of this teammates, that guy with the bugs that I fought during the time of Suna and Kohona's fight; Aburame Shino.
Reading through it a little, I began to think there was nothing wrong with 'Mpreg'. But boy was I wrong! I was-once again-dead ass wrong!
My eyes nearly bulged out of my head. This had to be the most ridiculous thing ever! I'm no Medical Ninja, but I'm pretty sure-no scratch that, I'm positive guys cant get pregnant! That's the girls job! It is physically impossible for the male to have a baby! There is NO where for the baby to come out of! Lets just say we don't have the 'equipment' for it.
Stupid! Stupid! Stu-well, what do we have here? A sly grin appeared on my painted face as I began to read the short summary, which read;
Shikamaru and a certain blonde have been great friends for a long time. Could it be more? Or are they just reading into things that aren't there.
Looks like Temari's boyfriend has some stories of his own on here. Lets see, no Lemon, check. No Sandcest, check! And defiantly no-and I repeat no Mpreg, check! Looks like I can read this one. Who knows, maybe I'll get some dirt on the lazy ass, so I can use it on him.
Clicking on the link, I noticed that the 'certain blonde' is not Temari, but that skinny blonde on Nara's team…what was her name? Ino Something. Quickly shrugging it off, I began reading.
I got through the first paragraph, glared at the screen, slamming my fist on the desk. I was mad-no not mad, pissed! Who the hell does that cheating bastard think he is? He will die! Quickly, I stood leaving Temari's room, in search for her -soon to be dead- boyfriend! He will not get away with dating my sister AND Ino at the same time!!
-End of Chapter. Well, what'd you think? Should I write more? Or give up my hopes and dreams as a writer? If I get more than 5 reviews then I'll write a second chapter, but if I don't, then this will be my shortest One-shot.
Okay, for those who don't know much about Fanfics. I'm gonna give you a heads up about what a few things are. Lemon usually has VERY mature content in it, is has NOTHING to do with fruits! Trust me, I learned that the hard way. My first and LAST lemon story I EVER read.
Sandcest is when someone makes a couple out of the Sand Siblings. Its very disturbing. At least to me it is…cause that would be like me dating my brother, and trust me that is NOT a good thing.
And last is Mpreg-which is basically a guy getting pregnant. I've got one question, what the HELL was going through a person's mind when they write a Mpreg story? Don't you guys realize GUYS CANT HAVE BABIES!
Whelp, anyways that's all for this chapter. Leave me lots of reviews and I'll write another chapter. Leave me none and you don't get another chapter. That easy. -
