A/N - This is a dialogue-only oneshot for the Weasley's Wizard Wheezes (category Puking Pastilles) showing the progressive relationship of Lily Evans and James Potter. Hopefully fluffy by the end! (Seventh year is the longest.) Enjoy, and please R&R! :)


First Year

"Hey, Evans?"

"Yes, Potter? What is it?"

"I was just, um, wondering if you'd want to maybe go out, with me?"

"Oh. I'm sorry, Potter, but I don't like you that way. Sorry."

"Oh, um, okay. See you in class, then…"

Second Year

"Evans, I really need a favour."

"Not a pranking favour, I hope? Because if it is you know I'd have to tell-"

"Chill, Evans, it's not a 'pranking favour'. It's just, you know that essay Slughorn set us that's due tomorrow that I haven't done? Well, I was just wondering if you could help me out a bit with it – just, explain it in terms I can understand…"

"And what makes you think I'd want to help you, Potter? What do I get out of it, huh?"

"I'll do you a favour in return – I'll, umm… Oh, I know! I'll stop teasing you about how perfect you and Peter are for each other, how about that! Pleeeaassseee? "

"Hmmmm… Fine, but only if you promise to stop with the Peter-is-your-perfect-guy stuff, alright? And I won't be doing the essay, only helping you out a bit-"

"Alright, great, can you do my essay for me now?"

"Potter!"

Third Year

"Oi, Evans! Do you want to come with me to Madam Puddifoot's this Hogsmeade weekend?"

"Not in the slightest. Why d'you ask?"

"Oh, Sirius dared me to. Ha, I bet you're going by yourself, aren't you? That's a shame, it being Valentine's Day this Saturday…"

"Shame you don't have the guts to ask a girl out without being dared to first. If you must know, I'm going with Severus as friends-"

"Aww, the likkle lovebirds are going to Hogshmeade togevver! Isshn't dat shweet?"

"Oh, shut up, Potter. I bet you're just saying that 'cause you're jealous."

"Pfft, as if I'd want to take you on a date! You might bite me, and then my children would be infected with ginger-germs for generations to come."

"You know, I really think you should go stick your head in a toilet, Potter. Go find Moaning Myrtle, I bet she'd be willing to assist you. You know, because she's 'always had a thing for men with black hair'…"

"Aargh, gross - mental picture of Myrtle trying to snog me!"

"Be thankful I didn't say the Giant Squid."

"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww! I hate you, Evans!

Fourth Year

"Hahahaha - Evans, wake up. Evans!"

"Huh… What now, Potter? I'm not doing your charms essay for you again if that's what you're after…"

"Nah, just wanted to point out your hair. You should invest in a bottle of Sleekeazy's. You know, seeing as the bed-head look doesn't really suit you at all."

"Oh, well I'm sorry if you've just woken me up from my perfectly comfortable sleep in front of the fire! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed."

"No – I was just joking Evans; you don't have to leave – dammit."

Fifth Year

"Aargh, just piss off why don't you, Potter! I don't want to hear it!"

"Oh, come on, Evans, I don't see how defending you could possibly be as bad as calling you a – a You-Know-What!

"Defending me? Who said you had any right to defend me? Are you my father, brother, uncle, godfather, best friend, boyfriend or anything of the sort? NO! So stop acting like you have some weird claim over me!"

"I know, Evans, you can stop ticking things off on your fingers! It's just you know how much I hate all that blood purity racist shit-"

"And to top it all off, I don't need defending; I've been practicing self-defense charms for ages and there's this very useful one that mirrors the effects of a kick to the crotch, and I have more than half a mind to practice on you!"

"I know, you know I do, you're a brilliant witch but when Snivellus called you that name, oh, your face, Evans. For a split second your face was a book – the pain, the betrayal, the hurt, laid open for all to see. It broke you, didn't it?"

"James Potter, don't you dare use that tone with me!"

"What tone, Evans? Please enlighten me."

"That one! The pitying, sympathetic, patronizing tone. Your words may mean well but with that tone you're just mocking me. So, to reiterate – piss off!"

"But Evans I'm not – wait, where are you going? Oh, come on! That's foul play. This conversation isn't over you know, you can't hide in the girls loo's forever!"

Sixth Year

"Potter, looking at me like that is, A – annoying, and B – not helping the state of your homework at all. I suggest you stop it."

"C'mon, Evans, just give me a chance? One tiny, itsy-bitsy little date? I'll stop bugging you, I promise, if you would just-"

"I'm going to have to stop right there, Potter. Silencio! … Aah, that's better. And no, I'm not even going to touch that note you're writing, let alone open it, so get on with your homework."

Seventh Year

"Oh, Lily, can I talk to you about something?"

"Yeah, sure, just give me two minutes to finish off the new patrolling schedule."

"Great, thanks."

"Okay, I'm done. What is it?"

"Well, I've been thinking about telling you for a while. Wow, this is harder than I thought it would be-"

"Whoa, James, relax! Why are you so stressed? You're practically hyperventilating! What's so hard to tell me you're having a panic attack? Wait, you didn't murder Snape, did you!"

"No, Lily! Of course not. I haven't gone near him since last year, you know that. No, it's kind of the opposite."

"Hang on… James! You didn't knock up one of the school bicycles, did you? Oh God, how are you going to cope? And I suppose there'll be a new Head Boy, too! Ugh, I bet it's going to be MacNair. I always hated him-"

"Lily, shut up and listen! I did not knock up one of the school bicycles! I'm scared you even considered that to be an option!"

"Sorry, sorry. I guess I was thinking of worst-case scenarios. Carry on."

"Okay, well. How to put this… Lily, you know how since first year, I've asked you out a total of three hundred and seventy four times? No, please don't say anything just yet; it'll make this easier. The thing is, Lily, I wasn't joking. And since making that truce at the start of the year it's just made me see you in an even better light... Just made me fall in love with you even more. Yes, your hearing is fine. I'm in love with you, Lily, and I understand if you don't feel a tiny bit what I feel for you, but I couldn't keep it a secret any longer. It's been eating away at me, you know, for years. And I could keep begging for hours, Lily, for you to give me a chance. But it's a hopeless cause, so for once I'm going to give up. I can't live with that, with you being so close but not being mine, so I'm going to go to Dumbledore and give up my position as Head Boy. I hope he chooses someone who won't be so awkward to be around. Don't worry, though, I'll request personally that it's not MacNair. I know what you're about to say, about how it's really not necessary to leave, and that I don't have to leave, and how we'll work something out. Which is all well and good but I couldn't do that, to you or myself. It would be too hard. Phew! I guess that's it. I'll be in my room, packing. I'll see you around school, I guess…"

"… JAMES POTTER, GET YOUR IDIOTIC SELF BACK DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW BEFORE I JINX YOUR SORRY ARSE FROM HERE TO KINDGOM COME."

"Whoa, Lily-pad, a little heavy handed on the threats there! Mind if you could tone it down a bit? Moony's just coming, you know how un-fond he is of vulgar language."

"Piss off, Sirius, now is not the time to be barging into our dorm. JAMES, I AM NOT KIDDING ABOUT THE JINXING!"

"What, Lily? I think I've covered everything, why prolong it? I already know the answer."

"Wait, what? What answer? This isn't about some new kind of exams we're taking that I don't know about, is it?"

"No, Sirius, James has just made an extraordinarily long declaration of love to me, assumed I wouldn't want him, told me he was giving up his position of Head Boy and ran away to his room to 'pack'!"

"Good on you, mate, but don't you think you shouldn't have left without hearing what she has to say? She is a red-head, remember; fiery temper and all that."

"I guess… Oh, fine. Lily, please feel free to tell me of your reasons for rejecting me. Wait, since when did you side with Lily over me, Padfoot?!"

"This is not about Sirius! This is about the fact that you are an insecure idiot who doesn't know me all that well after all - how dare you assume to know what my response will be! Firstly because it's completely different from what you think it is, and secondly because it's downright rude."

"Okay, I get it, I'm sorry – wait, what's your answer then?

"You want to know my answer, James? My answer is this."

"That's not even a proper answer! I'm so confus-mmph!"

"…FINALLY! Aw, Moony, you just missed it! By, like, a second!"

"What did I miss? What happened?"

"Oh, just James and Lily snogging each other's faces off after a massive row!"

"FINALLY!"

"I know, that's what I said! A Galleon says that Marlene and Peter will say that too."

"What the hell! What is it with you guys and the word finally? Sirius, if you are actually placing bets I will personally put you in detention for the rest of the year."

"Ugh, fine, but we have been waiting for this forever, Lils! Prongs here hasn't shut up about you since fourth year; Merlin knows the silence was deafening after he moved into the Head's dorm."

"Yes, well, I'd really appreciate it if you pissed off right about now. And stop going on about my long-term infatuation, it's not helping anything."

"Alrighty then, we'll just leave you to your quality snogging time on the sofa – ouch! Okay, we're leaving, we're leaving!"

"… Well that was an ordeal and a half, wasn't it?"

"Sure was. At least you said yes, though, finally."

"Finally?"

"Finally."