Autumn Dragonflies

When her fingers unfurl like a tiny flower he offers her his open palm. In silence she settles her hand against his. Fascinations lights her eyes as she matches the tips of their fingers. His is larger than hers, fingers longer than her own. If he curls the digits of his hand, she would fit perfectly into his palm and as she should. It is a physical reminder that they belong to one another and that she is safest with him. To her, it is a reassurance and to him a reminder of promises made in the night.

To Yu, there is nothing more beautiful than the emotions she wears upon her sleeve. With her there is no deception. When she is happy or sad, angry or curious, the mood is openly expressed. Her speech shifts in diction, sweet and eloquent when she is feeling indulgent, but short and brusque when she is upset. If she is feeling playful, her walk is light, heavier when aggressive. In touch alone he can gauge if she is having a good or bad day though her facial expression, a pout here and a smile there, is typically the best indicator.

Warmth blooms painfully in his chest as he finds himself caught in the beauty of her fascination. She does not notice his careful gaze, occupied as she is by their hands, as he fights with his breathlessness to imprint the image of her upon his heart. Her lips are parted slightly, the corners pulled in the hints of a delighted smile, and cheeks flushed with a healthy glow. The sun catches her in the perfect lighting; it is one that adds an angelic touch. She is beautiful, but it is the emotions caught in her eyes that he holds onto.

Before he is ready to let her go, she has slipped away. Panic seizes him for a moment as he struggles from his kneeling position in an attempt to follow her, but she is easily lost in the field of sunflowers. It is the first day of autumn; the sunflowers are in full bloom. At her height she is easily lost to his vision among the long stalks. Despite himself, despite the years spent training to remain calm regardless of circumstance, he struggles with the initial bout of terror. To him it is instinct to keep her in his sight.

On more than one occasion he has been accused of coddling. He has tendency to indulge her whims and reputation for being fiercely protective. Each accuser has argued a valid point, but they struggle to understand what she is to him. She is the dream that had nearly escaped his grasp. Despite the years that have passed, there is a piece to him that is terrified that when he wakes in the morning she will be gone. To the former butler, she is the fantasy that could slip away at a moment's notice if he is not vigilant.

Laughter dances on the breeze; the familiar notes soothe his impulsive terror. In its place settles a joy as fragile as the bubbles they once blew together as he follows the sound of her voice. Excitement colors the tone of her giggles, piquing his curiosity without giving rise to anxiety. In her eyes, the world is filled with countless wonders that he takes for granted as common blessings. Her fascination is refreshing, but often exaggerated though he cannot deny to her these small pleasures. He wants to prolong her enthrallment over even the smallest things for as long as possible.

Were it not for her excited chatter he would have missed her. She is seated upon the ground, shoulders hunched as she holds a conversation with her cusped hands. It is not until he kneels next to her does he see the small treasure that she has caught: a dragonfly. Its wings flutter nervously, the thin veins flashing in the light of the sunlight. In tandem to the coloration of its body, a vivid range of violets, it is a beautiful creature. She is likely remembering regaling tales of fairies and nymphs that accompany her bedtime rituals.

"Daddy!" Yu's gaze slips away from the carefully handled dragonfly to his daughter. With wide eyes, she offers her cupped hands to him, and in that moment he sees not his child, but her mother at the same age. "Daddy, what is it?" He has forgotten that his daughter has never seen a dragonfly before in her life. In previous years she had been too young to play in the sunflower fields. Dragonflies were a creature seen only in summer and autumn, but in their small town, the sunflower field was the only place to see them.

"It's a dragonfly." He bites back a chuckle as her lips pucker as she repeats the word. She has been given syllables without meaning, but her boisterous smile as she repeats the word once more to the dragonfly could convince him that she is an expert concerning the matter. "Dragonfly." Carefully, he moves to sit, drawing his daughter as slowly as he can without frightening her treasure onto his lap. Her body curls into his own as if she were nothing more than an extension of him. "You can only see them around this time of year. Aren't they pretty?"

In agreement she nods her head so violently that he fears she might give herself whiplash. Laughing, his arms wrap protectively around her waist. "Daddy and Mommy used to come to this field when we were younger." Father and daughter watch as the dragonfly flits to the edge of her fingers before taking to the sky. "Grandma says that dragonflies are a gift. If you saw one, it was good luck because they could give you strength, courage, and happiness." Shifting, he places his hand in her empty palm where the dragonfly had been. "They brought you to us."

"Yu!" A feminine calling of his name, one that has never failed to make his heart skip a beat even after all these years, draws a smile from both father and daughter. "Where did you two run off to? I leave for five minutes to put the basket back in the car…" Hoisting up his young child in his arms, he stands smoothly just as his wife slips into view. Their daughter waves eagerly to her, practically screaming in delight as she makes her way to them. In the light of her mother's presence, she has already forgotten the dragonflies.

The moment that she is within reach, his free arm folds her against his body. Before she can protest, he presses a light kiss into her cheek. The action elicits a shy, endearing flush from her and a delighted giggle from their daughter. "Yu!" Her tone is a weak attempt at admonishment that only provokes mischievous grins from both father and child. Without warning, their daughter leans forward to leave her own kiss upon her mother's other cheek. This visual proof of his joy pressed into these two females break his heart as he whispers to both, "I love you."

Dawn has just broken on the horizon when he awakes. He savors the moment between dream and reality for a time before pulling himself out of bed. His back pops as he stretches, and he is ready for the day. Castle duties such as cleaning and food preparation are typically left to the staff, but there are chores aplenty to still perform on behalf of Prince Glenn. Today, he will attend to the Prince's scheduling, assuring that he has access to the correct documents including notes and formal forms in addition to handling the recent tarnishing of his reputation.

It is late in the evening when he finally pauses to take a single breath. His list of responsibilities has dwindled down to a routine checking on the Prince before he turns in. As expected, there is a tea tray for two already set in the kitchen when Yu arrives. To the side he takes note of a small plate of riceballs likely meant for him, but ignored for the moment as he makes his way to Prince Glenn's personal office. Yu knocks once before given permission to enter the room.

She is with him again as she has been for every evening since the announcement of their engagement. Her seat is upon a couch on the other side of the room, a book laid out in her lap. When she catches his eye, she smiles in greeting. It is a smile that is meant for him alone, and yet he feels like an intruder. There stands a room between the Prince and her, and still he is locked out of this world that they have made for themselves. He is an intruder to their dream.

Yu is locked in the confines of his room the moment that he allows himself the sweet relief of breaking. Head bent, he tortures himself with the image of a smile that is surely nothing in comparison to the one that Prince Glenn is blessed with each night. The one she gives to him is so beautiful, and yet to her he is only a friend. A smile of love, a smile that belongs to his Prince, must be one that would break his heart every time he saw it upon her lips.

Once he had asked her to leave the palace with him. It would have been a simple matter to start a life together. He would not have been able to offer her the same luxuries as those of royalty, but she would have been happier with him as a commoner than she would have as a princess. They would have been unburned by noble expectations and free to live their lives. She would have been a designer, she would have lived her dream, and he would have been her husband, the only path that he needed to know happiness.

She had rejected him in favor of standing by Prince Glenn's side when their story had finally drawn to the end. Not a day passes by that it doesn't kill him to watch the gentle love that has flowered between her and the Prince, but still he remains because her presence is the only thing that brings him an inkling of happiness. She is his everything, but he is her nothing. Yu had attempted to change that, to win her over, but it had been a fruitless quest. He is broken because of her, and still he cannot leave her.

Hidden from the eyes of the world, hidden from her sympathy and his pitying gaze, Yu breaks. Face buried into his hands, a muffled sob is torn from his lips that could break even the strongest of women. He mourns his weakness, his pathetic inability to tear himself away from a woman that he both loves and resents. He cries because he is so rarely allowed to face himself for the shell of a man that he has become, holding onto dreams that were once his to have. Above all else, he weeps for the daughter he will never meet.