broken heart

Akane cries herself to sleep some nights. Even though she's beautiful, even though she's everything every girl wishes to be and every boy wishes to have, even though she's got a job and an agency and she's rich, she cries.

Why?

She doesn't have the boy she loves. Daichi would never ever be hers. Akane doesn't blame Najika. She knows she'll never be good enough. She knows that Najika is so innocent and pure and nice and why why why can't Akane be like that?

She's jealous, she can be so cruel, she can't control herself. Because when you're in love, you can't be dignified. And so Akane is in love, with the one boy who'll never be hers.

A model like her comes with a large pile of memories and broken hearts. She's fallen in love with so many other boys, but she's been in love with Daichi for half her life. Even while she dated other boys, kissed other boys, it was always him her eyes were on.

And she always managed to leave a little bit of herself behind in each boy.

Because Akane fell in love so, so easily and she got hurt so, so easily and so she built up a castle around herself and she was so, so protective over the boy she loves. So when Najika came in and destroyed her fortress and stole away her childhood crush she hate hate hated her.

And now everything was over. Najika and Daichi had each other and Akane had no one to blame. So she blamed herself. She ate so, so little and wasted away so, so much and every day was like a battle with no clear conclusion. No one was there to help the spoiled little rich girl even if her pain was as real as the girl beside her.

Her pain is overlooked and understated. No one cares and nothing matters. She is Akane and this is her life.

forget

"Hey, what's up?" His stupid cheerful obnoxious voice comes alive on the other side of the phone.

"Hi," Akane mutters.

"Someone sounds a little grumpy," Seiya smiles into the phone.

"I want to forget," she says and hangs up.

On the other side of the world, in Paris, Seiya's grin drops off his face like jumping on hot coal. He speaks her name rapidly into the phone, begging her to just be messing with him, but she's not. Finally he hangs up and calls another number.

Akane surveys her apartment. It's so, so big and so, so expensive and it's so, so empty. It's just her, on her own now and she doesn't know what to do. She wants to forget about Daichi and maybe it's just her medicine talking, but she's done forever.

Pills are disgusting and so hard to swallow. It's so, so hard to convince her mind to swallow the pills. Her stomach hates the food. But she tries anyway and she keeps throwing up and she can't stop and just when she's about to pass out she hears noises at her door and she wants to tell them to SHUT UP because it's so, so loud.

And then she curls up on her floor and falls asleep.

numb

When Akane wakes up she's in the hospital. A machine lets out a constant beeping noise and now she really wishes she were dead so she could never ever hear it ever again. But a soft snore in the corner of the room catches her attention and makes her forget the eerie hospital noises.

Akane groans a bit as she lifts her head up. Seiya, blond hair glinting in the white light is curled up in a ball snoring on the visitor's chair. Immediately, Akane feels gross and dirty and so, so scared. She's never been so opened and exposed to someone like this before.

"Hey," Akane murmurs.

Seiya immediately snaps his eyes open, "Hey."

"What are you doing here?" She asks, wide eyed, "I thought you were in Paris."

"I was," he smiles, "but you needed me."

"What the Hell are you talking about and why am I here?" She asks, hoping he can't hear the nervous tremor in her voice.

"God, Akane, they found you in a puddle of your own vomit. You've been suffering from anxiety and an eating disorder."

And a broken heart, Akane thinks, but doesn't say.

"So why are you here?" She finally says.

"Because I was the one who called the police from Paris; I just got here a couple hours ago," Seiya says.

"Oh," Akane says.

They fall back into silence. There's really not much to say. Seiya was once one of the boys she'd briefly dated. Since the breakup he'd moved to Paris and was working at one of the best restaurants in the world. He was known widely as one of the youngest and greatest chefs.

Thinking about it, they'd broken up since they'd been too much alike. Both of them had been so, so arrogant and so, so cruel to each other and so, so armoured. They never even trusted each other that much. Akane had been so, so guarded around him, so unwilling to have her heart broken yet again. And Seiya, he who had no time for her yet tried as hard as he could. They both were famous: models and chefs. They had big dreams and hopes and the two got in the way of each other.

But they were both the type of people who just could not show their true feelings that they eventually stopped trying.

And now Seiya was here in Tokyo with her.

She let her head loll back against the pillow. She stares up at the ceiling and counts. She counts until she falls asleep and she dreams until she wakes.

Akane is numb inside.

eat

"I don't see why you're still here," Akane complains as she unlocks her apartment door.

Seiya trickles in behind her, sniffing the scent of her cheery blossom perfume appreciatively. It's the first time he's been in the apartment since forever. It's just as he remembers, empty and big. He doesn't even bother checking the fridge for something to solve his hunger; he knows it will be sparse and empty and just depressing.

Dating Akane was like that. It was like she was holding back. He knew how much she hated the human touch. She was afraid they'd feel all the sharp corners from her bones. Seiya knew she was disgusted with how badly she'd fallen off.

"I want to make sure you're okay. Want me to make you something?" Seiya asks.

"I'm not hungry," Akane fidgets with the rings on her fingers.

Seiya ignores her and grabs a cup from the top shelf. He fills it with ice and water and adds a drop of lemon juice to it. Najika had taught him that even water had to be delicious.

"Here," he says roughly and forces the cup into her dainty, pale hands.

Seiya shivers when their fingers meet because she is so, so cold and so, so lifeless and it's all he can do to not grab her and shake her. He wants her to feel something, but she can't. Because even though their relationship never worked out, even though it was doomed from the start, Seiya still has feelings for her. He still cares about her and he will never not care.

Seiya is maybe, kind of, so, so in love with her.

"Thanks," Akane says and Seiya wakes from his thoughts.

Akane's voice is so, so pretty and he could probably never get tired of it ever.

"Do you want anything?" Seiya says and runs a hand through his blond locks. It's been a while since he's showered.

"No thanks," Akane says, "I'm going to take a shower anyway. You can use it after I'm done."

Akane heads upstairs. As soon as the water turns on Seiya moves to the blender. He finds fruit in the fridge and blends it up. He adds little bits of sugar, honey and lemonade to it before it's done. He pours it into a cup and places it in the fridge.

It's high in vitamins and natural fruits for Akane. It's not much, but it's a start.

He finishes washing the blender when Akane comes down stairs. Her raven coloured locks are piled up in a bun on her head. She wears an oversized sweatshirt and nothing else.

Seiya's heart rate goes up just watching her. She raises an eyebrow.

"Problem?"

"No. Check the fridge," he says and disappears upstairs.

nightmare

Akane looks up to footsteps. She lies on her couch and watches as Seiya gallops down. He wears a loose t-shirt and a pair of sweats. It's the first time she's seen him not at his best. The first time she's noticed his dimples and the way his hair drips water and maybe the way his mouth quirks so, so slightly to the side.

"Thank you," she whispers and yawns.

The drink he made for her is all gone. Seiya smiles before lying down on the floor next to the couch. The couch is the only piece of furniture in the entire apartment.

"You know," she says quietly, "it reminds me of me."

Akane's talking about the apartment.

"How?" he asks.

"So empty and lifeless," she murmurs before closing her eyes.

So Seiya closes his eyes too and they both fall asleep.

Sometime in the night Seiya opens his eyes. Above him, on the couch, Akane thrashes. Her tiny hands are clenched into fists and crinkles appear on her forehead. Her breathing is laboured, her body language so, so scared.

He wants to do something.

He sits up and gently shakes a shoulder. Akane flinches; she squints her eyes shut even tighter and turns away. Seiya takes her icy icy cold hands in his and sits next to her quivering body. Her eyes snap open. Akane drinks in his presence, his warm hands on her cold ones and she thinks she'll be okay for tonight.

"Hey," she says, "I'm a nightmare."

"Yeah?" he smiles.

"Yeah. I chase away good things."

So they fall asleep again, together, wrapped in each other's arms. Akane is so, so tired but she still feels Seiya's muscular shoulders and arms and maybe if she pretends that he's Daichi everything will be okay.

confessions

When they wake sunlight is coming in from the window. Seiya's eyes blink open and he sees Akane, snuggled up in his arms, just like she's supposed to be. Just like she should have been. His heart is pounding pounding pounding so loud and so hard he thinks she should be able to hear it.

"I can't save you," he murmurs, "but I can try."

The girl, so skinny and pale and smell and delicate, wakes in his arms and looks up at him. This is Seiya, full of hope and kindness and caring and maybe a new beginning. Akane wants to try again. She wants to forget about Daichi, forget about Najika and maybe remember Seiya.

"You know," she starts, "we're so, so broken."

"Yeah," he says.

"I'm in love with Daichi and you're in love with Najika and all we have is nothing," Akane's voice breaks on the last word.

"Maybe we can try again," he smiles.

"Maybe," she turns and looks out the window. Seiya knows the topic of conversation is over.

Instead, they face the window; they stare at the sunlight pouring in and imagine a new life. Dust glints and shimmers and twists and floats and it's so, so beautiful and Akane just wants to be a particle. She wants to be a particle; just there for eternities and watching and knowing and learning.

Seiya would just be happy to watch her for forever.

permanent

And then it's winter. Snow lights the ground and Christmas lights go up. Akane thinks snow is unparalleled to anything in this damned universe. It covers up flaws like a blanket and shimmers in light. She wishes snow could cover up her flaws, too.

Seiya has moved into her apartment permanently. He is grateful for another chance to save her and she is grateful for another body in her home. It never was truly home until Seiya moved in. He decorated the apartment with posters and dirty clothes and added everything he could.

Truthfully, Akane's just glad to have another person with her. It makes the nights easier to sleep.

Weirdly enough they are just two people living together. They're not going out, they're not dating. Just two lost souls wondering why exactly they still wander the Earth.

But Christmas comes and goes. Akane is ready to accept that Seiya is now a permanent fixture in her life. She tries not to resent him, trying to help her out every day. She hates how ever since he's arrived her nightmares have disappeared. She hates how ever since he's arrived she's gained five pounds. She hates how she likes watching him cook; his nimble fingers doing magic in front of her eyes.

But most of all she hates how she feels so safe in his presence.

recovery

Akane is in love. She's so, so in love and it's not with Daichi now. She doesn't know when it happened, but she knows one thing: Akane loves Seiya.

She's so, so confused and so, so nervous and so, so scared of her feelings for him. When did the boy she shared an apartment with become the boy she shared her heart with? Akane is relieved, though. She really thought she was going to spend the rest of her life in love with a boy who didn't love her back.

Maybe Seiya would love her.

"Hey, Akane! What do you want for dinner?" He calls to her, now.

Akane hesitates. What does she want, in general? You, she thinks. She gets up to her feet and pads over to the kitchen.

"Can I cook with you today?" She asks, nervous nervous nervous. Her palms are sweating.

Seiya smiles, "Of course."

And watching from the window, you'd see two beautiful souls laughing together. And if you looked even closer, you'd see two hearts, fluttering nervously. And maybe, with a magnifying glass you'd see the girl's eyes and notice how they lit up; how they came alive.

Love can do that to people.

kisses

They're fighting over the remote. Hands grasp hands and pull and fight and it's like flirting and Akane is so, so red and she can't stop giggling and she's blushing and help.

"It's my apartment," she laughs.

"Yeah? Who bought the TV?" Seiya retorts, in good spirits.

Akane's so, so flustered. His hands are on hers and she's never ever had this feeling before, not even with Daichi.

All of a sudden their eyes meet. A spark is ignited with one glance. Both of their hands let go of the remote and they barely register the thump it makes on the wood floor. Then, Akane is leaning in and her eyes are shut and this just feels so, so right.

There are no fireworks, no lightning sparks, and no huge celebration when they kiss. Instead it's sweet and it lingers and she can feel him against her, his large hands reaching up to cup her face.

So, so sweet.

They pull back at the same time. Eyes are wide with shock and love. They can't help but feel like middle school students again, sharing a kiss. They're just so innocent.

"What was that for?" Seiya's voice is soft.

"I," Akane can't even think, "I really like you."

Seiya's quiet. Finally a slow smirk stretches over his mouth. He glances down at Akane, so innocent and dainty and his heart just bursts with love.

"Took you long enough," he finally murmurs.

And he pulls her close to him and holds her in a tight embrace. Akane thinks she could die, maybe, because she's never felt so loved before and Seiya wants to kiss her and never let her go because he's in love. They're both in love and they're both together and there are no words to be said.

They stay like that for a long, long time.


I'm super proud of this piece idk i just find akane and seiya super cute together! this took me like two days to write and edit so if you find any mistakes please tell me.

review?