1 Secrets, 2 Secrets, 3 Secrets more

Harry changed after the events of his fourth year and only two people knew exactly how much. What could have the Golden trio accomplished at the end of fourth year if Hermione and Ron disobeyed Dumbledore?

Pain was something that Harry was very familiar with, it was after all a part of his everyday existence, had been since the return of Voldemort to a body. The world looked at Harry Potter and saw many different things, some saw the freak, the good-for-nothing teenager the papers painted him to be. Some saw a savior, the chosen one and pinned all their hopes on him. Others yet saw him as a hero, the one who would always stand up for what was right, but only two saw everything.

Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. The bond of friendship between the three of them was stronger than any single tie in the world. Stronger than magic and stronger than family, yet at the same time not because their bond was in a sense magical and in a sense their own family.

It was a bond that came about through hardship, trials, tears and laughter. A bond formed through the standing firm in disaster and being the only rock each other could hold onto.

When the world started going pear-shaped at the end of their fourth year they immediately prepared, just the three of them. So many preparations were made through that summer holidays that were never mentioned. Parts were played and lives were lived.

Fifth year came and went, with all its disasters and pitfalls. The unbreakable trio only grew stronger, but no one knew and no one would have ever known if it weren't for that ficle human emotion, lust.

Predictably it was Harry that game the game away, being the one with the most pressure he was also the one most likely to crack. To be fair to Harry it wasn't that he cracked per say, more that he slipped a notch too far in front of someone trained to notice.

The event in question was in the trio's sixth year and during a DADA lesson with Professor Snape. It was a completely different experience with Snape as their teacher for DADA. He was a fantastic teacher because his silky smooth voice made each spell come alive while making them seem so dangerous and illicit.

Was it any wonder that Harry developed a crush on his professor?

Ron and Hermione knew this of course, and were kind enough to support him no matter how ridiculous they thought he was being. All three of them never thought anything would ever come from Harry's crush.

Which in a way, is why it is so surprising that something did, because those three were almost never wrong.

DADA was the final lesson of Friday and the trio were looking forward to their weekend. They didn't have any specific plans because they knew that they would likely be changed if they made them.

Harry was concentrating hard on taking notes to Snape's lecture when suddenly his concentration was wrenched by the 'other' side. His gaze became unfocused and Hermione simply tapped his quill with her wand discreetly to take notes for him. Ron shuffled a bit closer, to shield Harry from the gaze of those in the class.

Unfortunately, Snape's sharp eyes caught these movements and drew his attention to Potter. It was this simple act which started the ball rolling, but it was Harry's crush that gave the game away.

Harry seemed to come back to himself and realized Snape's eyes were on him, his eyes widened and he blushed, unconsciously licking his lips. Severus Snape was not a slow person by any means, he could instantly read the attraction that Harry felt for him, it was not hidden at all.

He was filled with an odd feeling, not disgust, though that is what he rightfully should be feeling, it was Potter after all. Severus was not quite sure how to classify it, but perhaps confused would do. At any rate, Potter could not be allowed to have a crush on his teacher, another student such as Draco Malfoy could notice and then where would they be. Determining a path of action he held Harry's gaze until they were interrupted by the bell. Chairs were pushed back as students hurriedly began packing their stuff.

"Potter, stay behind, we need to have a chat about your progress." Said in such a sarcastic and biting way that the Slytherins all laughed, no doubt believing that Harry was going to get in trouble. The Gryffindors shared worried looks, especially Ron and Hermione who leant and whispered,

"Pretend you didn't hear him,"

"Walk out anyway"

"You guys know I can't do that, besides no ones attacked yet, maybe I'll be alright."

"Harry!" Hermione's whispered entreaty and pleading gazes didn't do any good. Snape wanted to talk to him with no one else in the room, and that was completely fine by Harry.

"Go, I'll be fine. It's not a raid, just a disturbance, two, three curses at most."

Ron and Hermione frowned before taking their stuff and leaving.

"Potter, come with me" Snape left the classroom and strode into his office. Harry's eyebrows rose and he followed hesitantly. When he was standing inside the stark and impersonal office the door swung shut and locked of its own accord.

"Sit down Potter," came the biting command from Snape.

"What did you need to see me for, Sir?" Harry asked politely, after all, no sense in aggravating Snape when you didn't need to.

Snape was never one for beating about the bush and went straight to the point,

"You seem to have developed a penchant for me and this cannot be allowed. I suggest it is in you interests to find another person to place your affections in and quickly."

Harry was shocked, and embarrassed. He flushed deeply and looked at his shoes. Of course, Snape would notice somehow, Snape pretty much knew everything. But to point it out so harshly, goodness that was nasty. Harry raised his head, ignoring his own blush, and said far more confidently then he felt,

"It's not against the Hogwarts charter, sir so I don't see why you have a problem with it."

Snape was inwardly surprised that Potter would even begin to put up a fight and snapped back.

"It is an unrequited crush that will never be returned and could put me in danger of being discovered by the dark Lord."

Harry was taken aback, "But I'd never tell anyone who'd tell him."

"And that is why you are a Gryffindor, you don't need to tell anyone. Just spend too long staring at me and rumors will form, that could make it to the Slytherins ears."

Harry was about to reply when his concentration was wrested again, he couldn't believe Voldemort sometimes. He hadn't even been intending to kill anyone and yet, there he was, cursing away happily. His attention was gone for not even 30 seconds but Snape noticed and was kneeling beside Harry attempting to rouse him, worried he was being taken over by the dark Lord.

Suddenly Harry blinked again and breathed harshly,

"That absolute bastard." Realizing he was still in the room with Snape who was uncomfortably close he attempted to hide his right hand which was stinging very painfully.

And that was the mistake that gave it away.

Two years of careful deceit, ended with a single movement. Snape uncaringly grabbed Harry's right hand and held it up.

His reaction to seeing Harry's hand was undeniably comical, and Harry had to resist the urge to burst into hysterical giggles seeing as he had just been found out. Harry's right hand was adorned with and angry looking lightning bolt, seeping blood. Snape's jaw went slack with surprise and he rocked backwards onto his heels.

Harry snatched his hand back and pulled out his wand. He frowned, the scar was on his right hand, it would complicate matters slightly attempting a difficult healing spell with his left.

"Vulnerer Serenteur" The spell started to work but didn't quite take, causing Harry to sigh and raise his wand again but Snape beat him to it.

"Vulnerer Serenteur" Surprised green eyes found their way up to assessing black ones in a silent question.

Snape moved away and Harry sighed in relief, maybe Snape was going to leave it.

"Come with me Potter, it appears we need to have a discussion in even more private arrangements then these."

Harry was quite beffudled by his professor and followed him through yet another door. He felt a tingle of magic pass over him and then he was in Snape's living room, his personal quarters. He stood awkwardly not sure what was polite, his brain spinning in an attempt to decide what he should reveal and what he shouldn't.

Snape broke the uneasy silence.

"Why is it that you appeared to lose your presence and then you regained it with the addition of a lightning bolt to your hand?"

Harry sighed, the blood on his torso would soon show through his shirt, moving hadn't been the best idea he'd ever had.

"Well not only on my hand, sir."

"What do you mean?"

In response, Harry pulled his cloak off and then lifted his shirt and jumper. The three cuts that were viciously seeping blood became visible and Snape's horrified gasp let Harry know he had seen them.

"Take off your shirt immediately." The stern command surprised Harry into obeying who pulled it over his head, wincing as it opened up the cuts further. He was even further surprised when a soft,

"Vulnerer Serenteur" came from close by. Snape was healing him! He dropped his shirt on the floor and at Snape's gesture perched on the back of the couch so Snape could easily heal the last one which was dangerously low on his torso, just above the hem of his trousers. When the last bleeding bolt had become a shiny red scar Snape straightened, leveled his impressive glare at Harry and spoke two words,

"Explain, now."

Harry dropped his head into his hands, still indecisive. He hated to reveal his secret but surely out of anyone Snape would be the most deserving to know? Finally he sighed,

"Alright. You asked for it." He paused again to decide how to start. "Explain my original lightning bolt to me"

"Pardon?" Harry didn't answer and so Snape sighed and then spoke. "It is the scar caused by the dark Lord when you lived after his killing curse."

"Partly right and partly wrong. It is a soul connection between me and Voldemort. The curse rebounded and tore a part of his soul from him body. It attached to me in that instant as I was the only 'living' thing in the room. This connection means that neither of us are able to truly live but that neither can die without the other dying first. Through this soul connection I can see and hear everything second of Voldemort's life. I am the most capable spy, purely by accident.

"After the third task in fourth year I discovered that I can manipulate the link, as Voldemort, ever so stupidly, bound the souls of his followers to their marks and then bound them to him. In result I have been accessing the magic of each wizard in Voldemort's service and redirecting a number of spells. I take the unforgivables and the others I tend to evaluate on a case by case situation.

"The end of the matter is, whenever Voldemort feels like killing someone I pay attention to him, absorb the killing curse so no one dies and then heal the resulting scar."

"No one dies?" Snape latched onto the last statement in that incredible explanation.

"Well, you certainly haven't killed anyone."

Snape was shocked. "Not since the war started?" he asked disbelievingly.

"No you haven't. Here I'll prove it to you." He drew his wand and transfigured a piece of paper into a guinea pig, drawing raised eyebrows from Snape. "Cast a light spell at the pig, like a stunner or something. I'll latch onto your magic and then stop the killing curse." Snape was so stunned by the proclamation that he did exactly as directed,

"Petrificus Totalus." The guinea pig ceased it exploration of his desk, frozen. Looking at Harry briefly who nodded encouragement he then drew upon the inner reaches of his base nature, his aggression and cast "Avada Kedavra". There was a flash of green light that hit the guinea pig and drew a sharp intake of breath from Harry.

Turning Snape saw an angry lightning bolt, bleeding on a patch of skin on his abdomen that had been empty. Frowning he hurried over and tapped the area repeating, "Vulnerer Serenteur" Harry smiled gratefully and Severus before cancelling the Petrificus Charm on the guinea pig. It immediately squealed and began to run around.

Snape's reaction was beyond hilarious and Harry couldn't contain a snort. Snape's face paled rapidly and he actually physically staggered, knees weak and he sat in the chair at his desk and lowered his head into his hands. His breathing was rapid and he couldn't pinpoint the emotions running through him frame but he could tell that if he didn't get his breathing under control he would soon begin to hyperventilate. After a few minutes Harry's chuckles subsided and Snapes' breathing was controlled and he looked up,

"So I'm really not a murderer?"

"Course not" Harry said easily, "I redirected the curse on to me, the only one in any danger of dying is me and I'm perfectly fine, mostly."

Snape then realized the terrible truth, one that his brain hadn't quite put together yet. Harry was taking all the curses from the death eaters and directing them onto his own body. He, himself had seen with his own eyes the angry red lightning bolt that appeared after he cast the curse. He stood on shaky legs and crossed to where Harry was perched on the back on the couch. His eyes searched Harry's even as his hand reached out and the back of his fingertips brushed against Harry's latest scar. Harry shuddered and drew in a sudden breath, his eyes closing involuntarily.

"You…" Snape had to clear his throat which was suspiciously thick with some unidentifiable emotions, "You've sacrificed you own body just so I'm not a… so I don't have to be a… murderer…. To save all those people." Harry shifted uncomfortably,

"Well I couldn't just stand by when I could do something." He blushed self-concious about having this conversation shirtless with the man who knew he had a crush on him, and whose hand was still absentmindedly caressing his scars. Suddenly Snape moved, stepping even closer, and then he was hugging Harry. Harry's brain whirled, those 'oh so strong arms' were around him, holding him close. He parted his legs instinctively and pulled Snape even closer- the man stepping between them. Harry wrapped his arms around the potions professor and buried his head in his robes. Snape, if he was surprised by Harry's reaction didn't show it, instead he just murmured "thank you" over and over. Eventually Snape returned to himself and realsied what he was doing and how the two were situated. The most surprising thing was that Harry didn't appear to want to let go- indeed he found himself recalcitrant as well. He loosened his arms and Harry lifted his eyes, shining with something that seemed to be gratitude.

"I didn't expect you to thank me, sometimes the others don't either.."

That statement surprised Snape and he walked around the couch and sat on it.

"How many people know?" Harry blushed,

"All the Gryffindors and any student who has family 'killed'. But only Ron and Hermione know all. The others just think I sense the curses. Ron and Hermione have been in on it since the beginning. They helped me organise the safe houses to hide the dead people." That drew Snape up short.

"All the Gryffindors?"

"Yes, haven't you noticed how I am never ever alone anymore. I always have someone on either side of me, often with their arms linked to mine. I think most of the school thinks I'm finally allowing my celebrity to take over, but it's just cos I can't walk by myself."

Snape was horrified, hadn't he ridiculed Potter on numerous occasions because he had people constantly following, walking with their arms around him…. holding him upright! Snape swallowed bitterly,

"Does Dumbledore know?" Harry swung his legs around and joined Snape on the couch,

"No, he still hasn't spoken to me. I think he still believes Voldemort will try to manipulate the connection. Anyway- I reckon if I told him he'd try to convince me to stop, couldn't possibly have his weapon in less than perfect condition." Harry spoke bitterly and Snape was a little shocked. He made no defense for Dumbledore however, he could just picture Albus saying that all those deaths were for the greater-good.

The two sat in silence for a while watching the log in the fireplace burn steadily.

"So does this mean that everyone who was killed is actually still alive?"

Harry shifted uncomfortably, "no." he looked at his knees, "Every time I establish the connection they need to cast something first. Like your petrificus… I keep and eye on everyone's magic but I can't stop the first curse, and if it's the Avada…." He didn't need to finish by Snape was curious,

"Can't you keep the connection open 24/7 and catch all the curses?" This was apparently the wrong thing to say as Harry exploded.

"Keep the connections open. Do you have any idea what that would do to me? Each time I connect to your magic I'm touching your soul. Do you think I want to be that close to Malfoy, to Lestrange, to Voldemort? Every damn time I touch their souls, I lose a piece of myself. I'm doing all I can, isn't it enough that I'm constantly in pain and that I have more scars than Mad-eye himself? The only soul that doesn't hurt me to be in contact with is yours and I doubt you would want that sort of invasion of privacy!"

Harry finished yelling at Snape, hands clenched into fists. Snape's cheeks coloured as he realized just how much of an idiot he really was. He opened his mouth to apologise but Harry continued bitterly,

"Don't you think I feel guilty enough, knowing that those people could've been saved, I could've taken their curses too… believe me you're not the only one who wishes I would stay connected." He shook his head, wearily sitting back down on the couch, dropping his head into his hands and running his fingers through his unruly mop. Snape took a breath,

"I apologise, I spoke without thinking of the possible consequences." Harry's head snapped up, as if in disbelief that Snape would ever apologise to him. He smiled briefly and Snape felt something inside him unclench, worrying him slightly that harry's good opinion had become so important to him in such a short amount of time.

"I must admit however that I do not understand how touching my soul could affect you so, I certainly do not feel it."

Harry sighed wearily, "When I connect to your magic, it's through your dark mark and I use that to mask my presence, if I unmask it…." He frowned briefly and then Snape felt something. It was like a warm trickle through his body, a chord tugging on his heart and a whisper in his mind, behind his occulemency shields! His sharp intake of breath was echoed by another sigh from Harry.

"That's the level of connection I have to you, I hear your thoughts, see through your eyes, control your magic, I could take control of your whole body." Snape was horrified and Harry commented on it, "See that's why I withdraw each time, you don't want anyone that close." Harry then pulled out of Snape's mark and he felt oddly lonely. He had only had the comforting presence for a moment but he already missed it.

"Could you not mask when I'm acting for the dark lord? I'd rather like to know each time that I'm not actually a murderer." Harry nodded easily, a small smile appearing.

The another thought occurred to Snape, "If you've been absorbing all these curses, for over a year, where are all the scars?"

Harry blushed,

"There are several types of magic I am quite good at, charms is one of them. I hide them with glamours, just as I will do with the latest ones, before I leave here."

"Can I see?" The question surprised both men, as it slipped out before Snape had thought about it.

"Um.. well I'll add the scars from today into the glamour and you can watch if you want." Harry raised his wand and silently removed the glamour. Red lightning bolts instantly covered Harry's entire torso, easily over a hundred were visible. There were a couple on his arms and even one on his face. Snape gasped as he took in the sight,

"Yeah, I know, it looks pretty hideous, doesn't it?" Harry sighed, interpreting Snape's reaction as revulsion, further cementing his belief that SNape could never return his feelings.

"Not hideous, Harry, those are marks of your bravery, they could never be hideous." Snape's soft comment surprised Harry but he decided not to comment on it, instead raising his wand and recasting the glamour. All the lightning bolts slowly faded away.

They lapsed into silence comfortably, Harry still shirtless. Snape was curious, but was unsure whether Harry would answer. When his clock chimed 5 pm he asked, "How do you get everyone out? Because I've seen the bodies?"

"Something that every pureblood wizard ignores, house elves" Snape was very surprised and his eyebrows said so, Harry chuckled and continued, "Yes, you don't think of them either. There are no wards capable of stopping house elves so I bound a bunch to me, which allows me to work through them. I transfigure a copy of each person and the elves switch them over and return with them to a safe house where they are healed and trained in safety. I absorb the unforgivable and the others are allowed to hit the transfigurations."

Snape took in this statement, whistled low in his throat and then said, "How on earth did you even get this situation happening?" he was attempting the assimilate the brilliant plan with the completely normal teenager who had only ever excelled in defence.

"Hermione's brains, Ron's strategy and my power, and a summer where my two best friends ignored Dumbledore's orders not to talk to me."

Snape snorted softly, "figures, you three always get into too much trouble, why was I even surprised?" he said self-depreciatingly. Harry chuckled and the Snape asked,

"One thing I am surprised about is how so many people know and no one has let it slip?" Snape wanted to know how he'd had no idea, or Dumbledore either apparently.

"They all signed a contract with severe consequences for breaking it."

"Wow you really did think it all through huh?" Snape's unbelieving statement drew a snort from Harry.

"It was Ron, Mione and I who created it. I discovered the connection when I stopped Voldemort from using the imperious on Percy Weasley, just after the tournament. Ron had the idea of using it to save lives and Hermione taught me the transfiguration and thought of the house elves. Mione and me spoke to the muggle government who paid for all the safe houses- we made one for magic and and one for muggles and all are sworn to secrecy. Ron got all the houses involved at the beginning of this year when we saw how upset people are after their families were 'killed'. They became the support network where first through to seventh years keep me upright, healthy and on top of my homework. That's why I am passing potions, I have someone helping me study,"

"But you can't even brew a single potion?" Snape asked, not as nastily as he would usually.

"Yeah well.. it's not my fault the cruciatus gives you the shakes." Snape, hearing that, stood and crossed to his potions cupboard, removed a vial before passing it to Harry.

"it's my special recipe, specifically for the cruciatus." Harry immediately downed it and then smiled.

"Wow, I haven't been this pain free in a long time. Thanks sir." Snape's heart-strings were tugged again at the matter of fact way that Harry spoke of his suffering.

"Why must you take the curses? Can you not just replace each person?"

"The avada would destroy the transfigured construct, the crucio would damage the outline and the imperio would make the caster aware that it's a fake. The unforgivables are unblockable, they can only be redirected."

Snape nodded and sat next to Harry again. In Harry's mind he was exulting about the fact that Snape had chosen to be so near to him. Their thighs were nearly touching and Harry could feel his heart beating quickly. Suddenly he realized he was still shirtless and jumped up- face reddening and put it back on. Snape spoke while his back was still turned,

"If you ever need your scars healed, or another potion, feel free to visit my chambers. It's the least I can do for you after…" his voice caught and Harry turned around, fingers seeking buttons and button holes. Suddenly Snape found that his breath caught as well. Harry with his vibrant eyes, 'I've just got out of bed' hair and a shirt mostly undone, trousers riding low on his hips looked like perfection. Even while mentally kicking himself for thinking it, let his eyes roam appreciatively over his form. Harry saw the odd emotion in Snape's eyes gaze, but could not understand the reason.

"Thanks sir." Harry said awkwardly. Now that he had stood up he wasn't sure if he had outstayed his welcome. Searching Snape's gaze briefly he screwed up his Gryffindor courage and sat down next to Snape, thighs touched momentarily, but the both startled at the contact and shifter slightly further apart.

"Do make yourself at home," Snape's dry tone broke through the haze of Harry's nervousness.

"Oh don't worry, now that you've given me an open invitation…" he let his voice trail off.

"Hm.. well perhaps I should reconsider." Snape's acidic reply sent Harry into giggles. When he recovered they sat in silence for a while, until Snape once again got too curious to keep silent.

"Who has been healing you so far?"

Harry sighed, "Ron and Mione mostly. The Gryffindor quidditch team, the seventh years. Lots help. The muggle raids are the worse, they require a large amount of power to get through, I can't ask the others to help in those."

"Why ever not?"

"They are far too horrific for children. I would feel guilty if I stole their innocence too early."

"Because you are not a child yourself, clearly." Snape said mockingly.

"But you see, I'm not really." Harry said earnestly, "I haven't been a child since I was one and then forced to grow up far too quickly. Ron and Mione grew up at 11 when they sacrificed themselves so I could go onto the chamber, I can ask them for help but I hate to exhaust them so, neither has the power to last a full muggle raid."

Snape digested this and considered, he could help the boy, no the young man, but would Harry agree to his offer- could he make the offer and suffer the rebuffal that was sure to come? But could he stay silent and let the one who had been so willingly saving people- and keeping quiet, suffer?

"If you find yourself willing, I could offer my services as a healer during these muggle raids?"

"Really?" Harry said incredulously, and Snape steeled himself for rejection, "That's be amazing. I'll contact you the day of a raid then?"

Snape was floored and only managed a short sentence after a brief swallow, "Contact how?"

"DADA class. You spell the instructions onto the blackboard every lesson. Because the spell is sustained I can latch onto it whenever and talk to you."

Snape wasn't sure what to say to that. Frankly he was a little unsettled that Potter could invade his privacy so easily. However he had made the offer and he was grateful they had a way to talk that wouldn't reveal him to the rest of the school. The two continued sitting in silence, nursing their thoughts until Snape's clock chimed again. Harry jumped up,

"I should really be going sir, its nearly time for dinner and Ron and Mione will worry. I.. uh.. thanks sir.. you know.. for the help.. and stuff…" Harry finished awkwardly and Snape stood too catching Harry's hand,

"No thankyou Harry. I am forever grateful for all that you've done." Harry was inwardly shocked by Snape's use of his name but didn't waster the opportunity and warmly shook his professor's hand. Then, he turned, collected his fallen book bag and left the room.