Chapter One
They say that people usually cut their hair after a bad breakup. Well I guess that makes me one of those clichés. Kat had broken me in ways that I never thought possible. I gave way too much of myself to someone that barely gave me anything at all.
Clarity.
It always happens after you end up alone. You start to notice all the bad things that everyone else saw and tired to warn you about. Damn, how it hurts. I run my hand through my short hair and gaze into my deep blue eyes in the gym mirror.
Pain and longing is all I see.
My workout was strenuous, but did nothing to take my mind off of the woman that ripped my heart out, stomped on it, and then lit it on fire. At least, that's what it felt like.
Never again, I vow. Never again will I get involved with a woman that is too weak to be true to herself, to be out about her sexuality. It's too painful and too damn frustrating to sneak, to pretend, to lie to others as well as myself about how I really feel. That's not me and I will not push myself back into the closet for love. She wouldn't be the right girl for me anyway if I had to.
I've never felt so drained and it definitely isn't from the workout. As I pick up my gym bag and get ready to head to the school where I teach martial arts in the evening, my best friend, Bolin, waves me over to where he's training with a client. I sigh and set my bag down as he meets me halfway.
He places a muscled arm around my shoulder and smiles. "I love the hair Korra. You look more mature like this. I almost want you to yell at me and tell me to do my homework."
I can't help but smile as I push him away from me. "You're horrible at giving compliments, you know that."
"But you smiled and that's all that matters." He looks at me, concern showing in his bright green eyes.
"Thanks Bolin. I know these things take time. It just… hurts so freaking bad, ya know," I tell him honestly.
"Don't I know it. But, you helped me get over a few heartbreaks. I'll be damned if I let you go through it alone."
"Bolin-,"
"I won't push, Korra. But, I'm here if you need me. That's a promise."
I blink back tears. Promises. So many broken lately. Not by my best friend. Through it all, he's been there.
"Thank you." I hug him tightly and the big man squeezes me until my back pops. He releases me and ruffles my hair. "Hey, you ass hole. I just combed that."
He chuckles and walks back to his client. Bolin is the most popular trainer at Toph's gym. His friendly demeanor and positive attitude keep them coming back and recommending their friends. He definitely gets plenty of dates too.
It's a short walk to Tenzin's School of Defensive Arts and Healing. I'd been coming here for five years now, first to complete my training as a master and then as a teacher. Growing up, I was a prodigy, learning four different styles of marital arts in the span that it takes others multiple decades. Then, it all fell apart. I won a match against a woman that apparently had a lot of money at stake for her to win. When she didn't, a man that bet on her shot me in the back. He came up to me raving about how I had ruined him and when I saw the flash of silver as he pulled the gun, I tried to run. I thought that I would never walk again once the damage was done. It took a while and as I was recovering, I met Kat. I was vulnerable and she ate me alive.
We had been friends first. For years we became closer. Maybe in the beginning her intentions were really to be with me. But, then again, I have terrible luck. They never did catch the bastard that shot me.
Terrible luck. Can never fight professionally again. The world forgot my name. Bolin and Tenzin didn't forget about me though. Mako, my one time fling and Bolin's brother, writes from time to time. Sometimes, I wish he would forget about me. Learning about his exploits as he travels the world just makes me more depressed.
He and his best friend Iroh work for a government agency that does plenty of undercover work. At a point in time, I had thoughts about joining them. Now, I feel that all my dreams have come to an end.
Shattered. I feel shattered and lost. Still, part of it is my fault. I haven't been trying hard to get my life back together. I know that I've been dragging my feet. For me, this is rock bottom. I hate what I've become, but I haven't motivated myself to change.
I want to blame Kat, but it was I that put blinders on. When it came to her, I fell too hard, too fast, and allowed myself to put up with so much that it's embarrassing. Even when we were just friends, I knew that I loved her. I think that she knew it too and loved the attention I gave her. I mean, I thought I'd discovered who I really am, that I really love women, so why couldn't she be open about it too? For her, I was an experiment, a game, a passing fad.
I growl in disgust as I push myself through the front door of the school of martial arts. If you are good enough, you could live here like I once did. Right now, only two people have that honor. They are Kai and Kuvira. They'd both surpass me in no time. They practice more rigorously than I did. Neither one of them are afraid to fail. I no longer can say the same.
I'm greeted by two of Tenzin's kids, my favorite hyperactive students. They have my tea in hand and I ruffle both of their heads the same way Bolin did to me earlier. They both pretend that they don't enjoy it.
"Hey!" both Meelo and Ikki say.
"How are my two favorite monsters?" No matter how down I feel, they always lift my spirits. And my blood pressure.
"Great! I created a new move Korra! Wanna see?" Meelo jumps up and down.
Ikki hands me the tea and I drop my gym bag in the corner to take it.
"Yeah, he practiced in the kitchen and broke three dishes. He's grounded from practicing today," Ikki reveals.
"Oh man." Meelo stomps. "Why'd you go and tell her that?"
Ikki laughs, hand over her mouth and then really looks at me. Eyes wide, she says, "Your hair. It's so short."
I self-consciously run my fingers through it. "Do you not like it?"
"I do like it!" Ikki nods profusely. "You look so pretty."
"Thanks." I grin at the younger girl.
"I'll reserve judgment until you tell me if you're going to let me practice," Meelo says, crossing his arms.
"Oh no. I'm not getting my butt kicked by your parents."
Then, the oldest sister, Jinora, comes into the lobby and saves me. "Let Korra be. She has a class to run."
I mouth 'thank you' as they both stomp off. Despite the temperature of the liquid, I quickly down my tea and instantly feel more relaxed. I begin to walk past Jinora when she stops me with a firm grip on my elbow. I turn around slowly and meet her steely gaze.
"Bolin called me. You and I are going to talk after class."
I groan. "About what?"
"You, Korra. We're worried and you need to stop walking around like a zombie. You're not yourself and we're all noticing it."
I sigh. "You weren't rescuing me from your siblings. You came to scold me alone.
"Someone has to. Now, go teach. I'm going to meet you at your house at nine. The door better be unlocked," she threatens. Jinora knows how to pick a lock. Her uncle Bumi taught her when she was ten.
"Fine, fine." Bolin is going to feel my wrath. I walk down the hall and into class. All my students stop what they're doing and bow. I bow back and run through the first breathing set, trying to focus on class and not on the fact that I'm about to be yelled at by my younger friend.
