Disclaimer: I dont own them S.M. does.

I could hardly contain myself, as I all but bounced into Bella's make shift hospital room in the Cullen's mansion. It was quite, Bella laid on the bed with Edward right next to her. Blondie stood on the opposite side of the bed,glaring at him. Neither moved, both were like statues. I could tell she was just itching for him to make one wrong move to hurt the little monster
growing inside my best friend. This room defiantly needed the tension broke and I was just the man for the job.

"Hey Bella, how you feeling?" I asked with guinea concern.

"Good today, the baby has been really inactive this morning."

"That's good." I tried to swallow the lump that was forming in my throat at the thought of that thing nestled down, waiting to rip through and hurt my Bella. But it was her decision to keep the baby, and Edward was allowing it.

A loud growl interrupted my thoughts and I realized I had been thinking around the stupid mind reading leech about my Bella. Oh well, I probably should get down to the second point of my visit.

"Hey Blondie…."

"What kibble breath?"

"How can you tell that a blonde sent you a fax? ….. It has a stamp on it."

"Hear about the blonde that bought an AM radio?…..It took her a month to figure out she could play it at night too."

"What does a blonde say the last two words of the national anthem are?…….Play ball!"

I could have fallen over with laughter at this point, but I had a feeling that if I did she would have kicked me in the head a few times.

I heard Edward give a soft laugh, even though it was strained. This whole situation was taking a lot out on him. Not that I really cared about him and his issues though. Blondie had her fist balled up and looked ready to pounce. Bella wisely just closed her eyes and didn't move another muscle.

I waited patiently for Blondie to attack. I think she deserved every mean joke I could think of, personally. If she had just kept her nose out of this whole mess Edward would have convinced Bella to get rid of the abomination and the world (meaning Bella) would be safe.

"What do you call a werewolf with no legs?…Anything you like he can't chase you."

"What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock?……He got ticks."

"How do you stop a werewolf attacking you?…..Throw a stick and shout fetch!"

My mouth fell open in shock; I was the one who was supposed to be making with the funny. Not the blond bimbo. She had just come out of left field with those. I had not been expecting a come back. This was not fair one bit.

"Well I got to go Bella," I said and backed out the door without waiting for a reply. I had to get home and find my collection of blonde jokes. If Blondie wanted a joke war, she would get one. I was half way down the stairs when I heard Bella.

"Where did you learn all those werewolf jokes?"

"Internet of course, I got tired of Kibble breaths jokes, so Emmett and I decided it was time to fight fire with fire," Blondie answered.

I frowned to myself. And here I had thought the big guy and I were becoming a little friendlier towards one another. Well I guess he would be on my hit list too. I, Jacob Black, had not even begun to fight.

THE END!!