It started off on April 30, 2013. I was supposed to pay £450 each month. If I missed a payment, Magnussen would choose how I would pay him back. Since I was a woman, a wicked woman, he wanted me.
While John was away with Sherlock, I was anxiously waiting for four of Magnussens' men to come and pick me up. Bursting through the door, they forced me to compose a note saying I left to console my friend, Kate about her son: the drugs one. Chucking me in a clean black car, the men drove off. I was nervously tapping my foot. The drive took two hours or so. As they approached that appledore building, the modern architecture appeared so odd. England is an old place full of old buildings filled with a changing culture. The pointy edges intimidated me.
Forcing me inside, the men slammed my body into the wall. The twisted man handcuffed me and escorted me to an office like room. A large tan desk with papers piled on, sat infront of his chair. Magnussen's legs were crossed. His glasses rested on the bridge of his nose. Like a bunny, he wiggled his nose slightly.
"Hello, Miss. Morstan. I heard you are engaged, yeah?"
I did not answer his question, although he was correct.
I don't know if Magnussen pressed a button or something but part of the wall opened into a secret room: a bedroom. Grappling my arm, Charles dragged me into the room with him. My handcuffs were still digging into my skin. It was extremely painful. Thankfully, Magnussen removed them. He took out a remote from his pocket. The entrance to his office dissipated and a wall became visible. His hands caressed my neck. His cold shark eyes looked into mine. I couldn't dare look into his.
Utterly disgusted, Magnussen's lips reached mine. The lips tasted like forbidden danger and lust. Slowly his hands drove up my blouse. My heart raced faster and faster. My shirt eventually floated to the floor. He twisted my hair a little. I couldn't move. It was as though he hypnotized me when he looked into my eyes.
He wrapped his arms me his goal was to remove my aqua bra. Upsettingly, his goal was accomplished. Flipping off his shirt, he threw it across the room. He knelt down on the floor and whisked off my red pencil skirt. My white panties were soon off as well.
I felt completely ashamed standing in that room. I felt a wee bit better when he removed his shorts and undies.
Plunging me onto the bed, he licked me on the face. I understood Lady Smallwoods horror. After that, it is just too difficult to continue. It was such a scarring experience I just don't feel I can explain it.
When night fell, Magnussen ordered a taxi for the ride home. It was quite dark. Around 3:45 a.m, I think. By the time I arrived home it was almost 6:30 a.m.. As I slugged inside my flat, John was sitting in his chair. His head resting on his hands.
"John… are you okay?" I asked in a worried tone.
"I had no idea what happened to you!" John yelled.
"I'm sorry. Didn't you see the note about Kate. She was crying all night long," I lied.
Pulling me in tightly he kissed me. It felt great to touch those soft familiar lips. He hugged and held me close to his heart. Whispering he told me something I will never forget.
"Miss Mary Elizabeth Morstan, you are the sweetest kindest woman I have ever met. I can't wait to be married to you. I just love you so much and I want to claim you as my bride as soon as possible."
As night fell upon London again, I had made love two different men in two days. I felt like a bloody whore or something. It was the worst feeling I've ever had in my life.
On May 13, 2013 John and I exchanged vows kissed like once and had quite a lot of fun. But earlier that day, in the morning, I almost threw up. It was probably wedding nerves so I thought. Then my wine lasted like Sherlocks socks. Yes I tasted them. It was a dare from John, okay?
The thing that really made me angry was that telegram from 'Cam' or 'C.A.M.' or Charles Augustus Magnussen. Of course he knows why my family cannot see this. He bloody killed them when I didn't 'pay up'.
Back when I threatened to quit his assassin business, he said if I did he would kill everyone I loved and cared about. I didn't think he actually had the guts to do it. After all, I had been his lover. I was until I found out I wasn't the only woman in his life. Magnussen had been my boss, my my lover, and my enemy. That night in late April of 2013, when I was forced to love him again was even more painful than I had imagine. Because I had done it before (when we were going out). The day I broke up with him he well raped me later that night. Then again, after all that pain and grief he made me suffer through, he forced me to love him again. It was like telling me to stab myself 207 time in the heart.
Nine months after we were wed our little bundle of happiness was born. She was our princess. Princess Malia was what we called her. During her baby years, we cuddled her, played with her, and taught her how to walk and talk.
As time rolled by, we noticed Malia was having difficulty seeing. We asked her to name the animals at the zoo. She stated they were too far away to see. John and I brought her to the doctor's office. We just wanted to check her eyes. It turned out her eyes were bloody terrible! She was only two and half!
No one in my family had glasses: not in in John's or my own. John was so confused why our daughter would need glasses if no one else in the family did. For him it was just confusion. For me, it was my worst nightmare. This was the first red flag that Malia was not John's daughter.
When she was old enough, we sent her to school. She did not know any of the students there on her first day. When I arrived to the school at dismissal, she had told me everyone's first and last names, and their favorite things. At first, I thought maybe the school really covered their names. Then she knew the same information about the kids at church group, play group and even the kids at the park- she knew everything about them. Through the next few years I ignored her mind palace. Malia was definitely Magnussens daughter. What was I to do?
It was Friday night about 10:30 p.m.. Malia was sound asleep. John had just finished shaving his invisible hairs. Sexily, I sauntered his way. I hugged his neck and kissed him. Honestly, I was just going smack his lips, pull out some hair and bring mine, his, and my daughters hair to Molly. That way she'd test the DNA.
Instead of a simple kiss, John wanted a little more out of the night. He literally chucked me on the bed. He intensely kissed my face. Clutching the quilt, I felt John pound his tongue into my mouth. I clung his hair and ripped out a few strands and carefully placed them on the night stand.
"Ouch! Mary? Why did you do that?" John pondered.
"I wanna do it rough night, love," I quickly snapped.
I somewhat regret saying that. I was sore the next day.
Zipping up three ziplock bags, I brought the hairs to Molly Hooper. She was a little worried what I would need the test for. I could tell she was a little anxious so I promised her I wouldn't tell Sherlock about 'the incident' between Molly and Lestrade. It was just a little kiss, so they said. The bad part was I witnessed it!
Anyway, I left to the store while she tested the DNA. While at the store, I was plotting what I would say to John about 'his' daughter. It would break his heart. Especially, that I had sex with such a dick and I conceived, carried, and raised the dick's daughter. I was almost certain our marriage was over. My fragile heart was crumbling.
"Mary, that man is not the father to the child. In fact, the father is Charles A. Magnussen. How- Wh-"
"Molly, I will give you £590 if you keep quiet," I added.
She politely agreed. I took the information with me and left my heart with Molly. Damnit! Everything I did to rid that man from my life and yet he is always with me. I am even raising his child. I didn't even know where to start.
I picked up Malia from school and waited for John to come home from a day with Sherlock. I ordered Malia to leave the room. I could feel Malia peeping through her bedroom door at us, but at this point I didn't care. As far as I knew it, I would most likely be husband less in a few minutes and I'd probably leave my daughter motherless.
"John, we need to talk. Now," I demanded.
"What? Did I do something?"
"No John. No. Our problems are always MY fault. They will never be yours: especially this time. This time, you may not forgive me," I sighed holding in my tears.
"What did you do?" John sternly interrogated.
"Before we were married, about a week or so before our wedding, I was picked up by Magnussen. I missed a payment and he forced me to make love to him," I couldn't hold my tears.
They just flowed from eyes like never before. John hugged my and scooted his body close to mine and kissed me on the forehead.
"Why would I be mad? I wouldn't end our marriage over Magnussen's subduction of you. Mary I am so sorry that bloody bastard hurt you. If he was alive, I'd cut of his bloody dick," John commented.
"John, thats not all."
"Oh yeah? What else?""
"We conceived a child that night. Her name is Malia Watson."
In the distance I could her Malia slam her door. Since she was ten now, she understood that her father was not John and she knew Magnussen (a man she knew as my enemy) was her father.
"Mary! You should have aborted that child! I can't believe you would keep that bloody child knowing whose it was. Why would you bring that child into this world. All she is a pile of shit nothing more. If she's his daughter, Malia is useless. She should never have existed!" John screamed at me.
I could hear loud whimpers from behind Malia's door. I can't imagine the pain those word caused her poor heart that night.
"John, I just found out today. I had Molly test the DNA. I had suspected as she grew older, but I wasn't sure until today!"
"Is that why you pulled my hair last night? So let me get this right: last night, I made love to you because I love you. I love you with all my heart and soul. But you, no you seduce me so you can test to see if my daughter is actually my daughter? F**ck you Mary!"
John stormed out of the house and left Malia and I alone. Once he left, I knocked lightly on Malia's door. She wouldn't open it, so I did it for her.
"Malia, we need to talk."
"Mum no. You and dad hate me because I'm Magnussen's daughter. I am sorry I am such a horrible child. It's not my fault I was conceived and born! That was your and Magnussen's. I know you hate me. The both of you. Just kill me. Do it. It will really help me out. I'd rather be dead than alive."
"Malia, I love you. I never said I hated you. John did yes. This is just hard for him, but I love you. Remember, I am your mother, you are part of me."
"But I am also apart of Magnussen. Daddy will never love me the same again knowing this. I know how much you two hate Magnussen. That's one thing dad can't overlook."
"Well, Malia, your father has forgiven me in certain situations that I would never expect anyone anywhere would forgive me. He can overlook this."
"Mum, if you knew I was Magnussen's child in the beginning, you would have aborted me. I know that!"
"Malia, no. I would not have aborted you. I am so glad I had you. You are my pride and joy. I love you more than I love John."
Perking up a bit, she sat up and crawled next to me on her purple sheets. I opened my arms and welcomed her to hug me. She cuddled against me and cried into my body. There was no way in the word I would give her up. I knew even John loved her regardless of her father. When it comes down to it, John taught her everything she knew. Just because Magnussen was evil does not mean she will be. After all, she is influenced by Sherlock, Molly, Martha, John, and myself. Malia inherited his mind, but I know for a fact, she will use it in the way Sherlock does: not like Magnussen.
I had Malia ring John on his phone. I knew he would not answer, but she could leave a voice message. The both of us stayed up all night composing what the voice mail would say. We came up with this:
"Hi daddy. It's me, Malia. I just wanted to apologize for being Magnussen's daughter. If I could have picked a daddy, I would have picked you. You are the sweetest kindest daddy ever and I love you with my whole heart. You are my real daddy in my mind. Please, please dad, come back to mum and me. We miss you a lot. Love you! Bye."
A week slowly trudged by. We waited and waited. Still, John never showed. I was so distraught. To get our mind off of our troubles, Malia and I cuddled on the sofa and watched Doctor Who.
A clicking noise filled the sound waves by the door. Frightened, Malia swarmed toward me. Hunched over, John slid through the door. He was silent while he set his bag down and hung up his coat.
"Well?" I inquired.
"'Well' what?" John giggled.
"Are you gonna go in our room, pack up and leave?"
"No. Why would I do that?"
"Dad, you said I was worthless, useless and shouldn't have existed. I thought you would never want to see me again," Malia moaned.
"Listen Malia," John sat beside her on the couch and continued, "I spent a lot of time thinking in my chair at Sherlock's. I had your voicemail on replay. I listen over and over for days. I realized, Malia you are my daughter. I got caught up in the moment. You aren't the one who is useless, worthless, and never should have been born, that was your dad. No that was Magnussen. The only thing Magnussen did to be a father was conceive you. In the law books that might mean that his is your father, but in the moral book, I am your father. I raised, loved, and took care of the you. Malia, you my dear are MY daughter."
Malia teared up a bit. She hugged him and buried her head in his chest. John sweetly kissed Malia as he looked up at me. Shaking, I was wiping away my joy filled tears.
"As for you Mary, this isn't your fault. You were raped. There is nothing to be sorry for Mary. I can tell you think this is your fault. It is not. It's mine for not watching you for you. I'm sorry, Mary. I should have been more considerate when you came home that morning," John apologized.
I still stayed silent. I leaned over to hug Malia and John all at once. Too much for Malia, she sprung up and played in her room. John and I were alone.
"Oh Mary. You are so beautiful you know. Just gorgeous."
"John. No. I'm just a mother and wife. Nothing special about me."
"Don't put yourself down."
I was just so ecstatic about him being home, that I cried. He was trying to look in my hurt eyes, but I wouldn't look up. John grappled my chin and delicately lifted up my head. Kindly, he kissed my lower lip.
"I love you, Mrs. Watson."
"I love you too," I stated.
THE END.
