AN: So thanks to amazon prime instant video I watched this instead of season 2 of Revenge after I had caught up with Nurse Jackie. I was so happy that it felt like the first series of Grey's Anatomy in tone and pace, I fell in love with Micah and his dynamic with Emily. I was elated when they sort of got together and screaming at my tv when I got to the end and that happened. For me it was a replay of Derek choosing Addison on Grey's which was when I started to tune out of that series. I love bumpy roads in relationships, I get that she needed to get Will out of her system, but at the price of Micah? I didn't like it. So I took to my keyboard and wrote this. It's a few hours worth of work and proofed, but its far from perfect. I have no idea if I will make it go further or if it will end up as a one shot. We'll just have to see how much Micah haunts me.

Also thanks to viro1312 who told me that the file had corrupted itself. I have no idea how that happened.


Meep, meep, meep, meep.

Emily could hear the incessant noise filter through her consciousness so rolled towards the sound only to hit a solid mass of muscle, a very warm, very unwelcome solid mass of muscle. She cracked an eye open to see perfect tanned skin and a head of brown hair. The owner of the sculptured body opened his warm brown eyes and smiled showing his perfectly even white teeth.

"Morning," Will murmured over the alarm.

"No, no, no." Emily cried, "I am so over you!"

"I'm not so sure the last six hours agree with you Em," he stated grinning. Emily felt the tears pricking at the back of her eyes,

"Micah," she whispered as the pain engulfed her.

"You should have thought of that before you let me through the door." He replied his voice like honey sticking to all the guilt she was trying so hard not to feel, but the gnawing in her stomach had started and she was beginning to feel nauseous.

Meep, meep, meep, meep.

Emily sat bolt upright in bed rivulets of cold sweat running down her back. She looked towards her alarm clock and saw that the bed next to her was blissfully empty and breathed a huge sigh of relief. The pillows weren't slept on and the sheets were still cold. It had all been a dream a delicious dream, but a dream none the less.

Dreams weren't real. Dreams were dreams. Just because she had dreamed about Will, did not and does not mean that she wasn't over him. He was a truly attractive man, anyone that met him would dream about him. So it was perfectly okay for her to dream about him… and her… going at it against every surface in her apartment. That was totally normal.

Who was she kidding?! She knew she was going to hell.

The thing with letting go she decided is that you have to do it every day. It's not a one-time thing. It isn't an easy fix. You can't be like hey you mean nothing to me now even if you wish that was the case because if you do you are lying. Not only that, but you are the worst kind of liar. You can't go from wanting with every cell of your being to unconcerned and cold, it isn't how we are made; try as we might in situations that make you want to cry all the time.

No matter how many times she told herself there was, there isn't a switch that you could flip. She didn't just stop wanting Will; with every bated breath, but she did see his flaws. Not the made up; he is three inches too tall kind of flaws, but the; he was willing to not celebrate her achievement because being rude and horrible were things that people needed to feel compassion for. Or the condescending way he would talk to her about Cassandra as if Emily was always the one at fault, or the look he would give Micah when he was just being the way Micah had always been towards Emily. The more she noticed the little things, the easier it got.

So every day she squished the feelings down and thought less about them. Which worked perfectly well; she had enough to think about with her new responsibilities and her office without thinking about how good Will looked changing out of his scrubs at the end of the day or how his glasses sometimes slipped down his nose and he would push them back up with one finger or that when he ordered coffee he always made sure he got her the right one.

The worst thing with moving on is that there is always a rebound, a person that would suture the wounds of a broken heart, would crack open the chest and start compressions to get the heart started again. A person that would bring you an office chair and a poster for skin cancer, just because they know you need it. They are the people that willingly give heroin addicts' methadone, the ones that fight tirelessly against things they can't change; the people who tend to love the longest when all hope is gone.

They don't have white chargers and shining armour, they have their hearts on their sleeves and a smile in their eyes. They are the ones you deserve, but never truly know you want. Until it is too late that is.

Dealing with the white chargers and armour is easier because when you get burned you know it's because you set the bar to high. When you hurt the perfect person… your perfect person or they hurt you; it's not something you can get over.

She didn't want Micah to be her rebound, not that she and Will had ever had anything to rebound from, but she knew deep down that Micah being the way he was, charming, smart, sweet, cute, adorable, funny and even sexy when he took control of the situation were making her fall for him and she knew she didn't want to hurt him, but she also knew that he deserved the truth even though it was as twisted as a cinnamon pretzel.

Relationships had to be built on trust and if she didn't trust herself what hope did she have with Micah. She knew that she had chosen, at least somewhere deep inside she had.

Chosen: verb; the past participle of choose.

Choose: verb; to select from a number of possibilities, to prefer and decide.

That is what Will had done he had chosen, but only when he was given an ultimatum. He had selected her out of the two possibilities he had and Emily would admit that it was romantic, but it was four years too late and five months too long. She had been subjected to each and every girl that Will had ever dated; from the not all there hippies on campus to the tight skirted fashion models. His looks brought in them all. She had seen them go in and out of his life like dance partners on a dance card and each and every waltz she was left as a wall flower. The one time she asked him to dance she was told no.

So why did she feel so good about the fact that he would pick her now? She knew it was because the insecure high school version of herself felt proud that she had beaten Cassandra once more and didn't that just make her a peach of a girl.

Stupid brain, stupid heart, stupid Will.

But Micah he didn't choose her because he had to. Emily wasn't even sure he had picked her at all. The more she thought about her friendship the more it became clear that she had been blind to his affection all along. His reluctance at dating Kelly, his break up with Kelly and the distance he put between them saying they should be professional. In retrospect they all made sense. She had been so hung up on Will that she hadn't noticed and if she was honest with herself she hadn't even wanted to. The sun rose and set with Will Collins.

But no longer….

Okay the sun still rose with him, but it didn't set with him anymore. She was getting over him. She had to for her sanity.

She glanced at her clock and groaned as her inner monologue was going to make her late for work.

Perfect, just perfect.

Come on Owens new dawn, new day, a date with Micah. No more Will. She thought to herself as she crawled out of bed and made it to the shower.

Half an hour later she rolled up at the hospital feeling guilty, but that isn't anything new, Emily always feels guilty. No matter how many times she says she won't feel guilty this time she always does. She feels guilty about Micah, about the dream, about the fact that they won't be able to cure Joyce, about Tyra and hot Molly (though she has no idea why), about Cassandra and Will, it was her fault after all that they broke up. Oh and about Kelly, since the looks she'd been receiving seemed to hint that Kelly knew about Micah's feelings for Emily, before Emily ever knew they existed.

"Morning Pits," Cassandra called as Emily got out of her car, don't respond, that is what she lives for, give her a smile and walk right on by, don't ask her about Will, don't make small talk just make it to rounds in one piece.

"Morning Cassandra." She supplied walking towards the entrance at a stupidly fast pace for the middle of winter. Not that it seemed to stop Cassandra who caught up and kept pace with her.

"So Will came to see me last night in a state." Cassandra chortled as they walked through the doors in to the hospital. "He said he told you that he chose you and that you walked out on him, then that he went to your apartment and that you wouldn't let him in." Cassandra stopped and touched Emily's elbow to stop her forward momentum. When Emily turned around to look at Cassandra there was genuine emotion in her eyes, "Good for you Pits." She said before the mask fell back in to place. "So we are back together for the moment. Make up sex? Even better than break up sex." Cassandra winked at her and Will walked out of the changing room heading towards them, his eyes lingered on Emily more than unusual, but she shook it off, don't react, don't let them see. No one needs to know about the sordid fantasy in your head.

She found herself waving awkwardly before walking in to her office come medical supply closet and of course the morning couldn't get any better for her as Micah was sat on her desk with a delighted smile on his face. Why now? Why couldn't I get a moment to prepare? Her face must have showed her distress as the smile on Micah's lips fell and a furrow appeared between his brows.

"Is everything okay?" he asked standing up from the desk and raising a hand towards her cheek. Before she could stop herself Emily flinched and Micah caught it, there was only a small amount of movement, but after five months of watching her, Micah never missed a beat. He could feel his cheeks flame in embarrassment as the anger started to boil his blood. He clenched his fist and stepped back from Emily hoping that she couldn't read him as well as he could read her.

"It's not what you think." She stammered and he knew he hadn't got away clean.

"I think you are going to tell me that you take back what you said yesterday and that you aren't over Will." Micah ground out, he watched as she opened and closed her mouth repeatedly and in that moment of indecision he knew he was right. Not wanting to show her the pain the idea caused he side stepped her and left her in her office a stunned look making her eyes widen in shock.

"Please let this be a dream," she muttered as she pushed a pen around her desk, "Please let me wake up now." Of course you know it's not that easy Owens. You made your bed, you sleep in it and you sleep in it alone!

It was at that very moment she knew it was going to be a twelve hour shift from hell.

"Doctor Owens, will you please present?" The ice cold voice of Doctor Bandari almost shrilled like her alarm clock as she stood in the patient's room in a trance. Flustered she almost dropped the chart, Cassandra looked amused, Tyra looked lost, but certainly interested, Will looked concerned and Micah was absent. He had made his excuses to Bandari without giving Emily a second glance. She had then spent rounds thinking of ways to make Micah understand that what he thought had happened wasn't what he thought had happened. Not that it made much difference it wasn't like he had been entirely wrong. Stupid feelings, stupid Will, stupid life.

"Doctor Owens?" She was asked again, clearing her throat she presented her case, it wasn't ground breaking, she wasn't even sure the patient needed surgery. It was a simple laceration on the thigh that was nowhere near the femoral artery and had no sign of infection. It was self-inflicted on a fishing trip and it seemed that the only reason he was being treated by Bandari was because he was a chair on the board of directors to the hospital.

Emily wondered what the point was, you get a cut on your thigh when you are stupid enough to gut a fish with what she assumed was a machete on your lap.

"Pulled a doozie there didn't you," Cassandra joked as they walked out the patients room. "Can't always be the superstar." She added with a flick of her hair. In that moment all Emily wanted to do was hide in her office and start making list of the patients she had to interview. Colour coding and organisation she could handle. Chaos and life on the other hand… not so much.

Instead she decided to accidentally lose her pager in the drawer of her desk and hide in the records room. It was quiet in there and peaceful and unlike the roof people rarely went in. It reminded Emily of the library shelves filled with musty smelling paper and manila folders. Dust motes dancing in the light that slipped through the blinds. In the summer she could imagine the place would be cool a safe haven, but as the temperature dropped outside this room seemed to be the warmest in the hospital; it felt like home.

She found the middle aisle and lay down on the right hand side turning slightly to face the invisible Micah. She imagined him there head propped up on his arm as he looked at her with such adoration lighting up his dark brown eyes.

"Micah, I was so sure that it was done, but you and everyone else were right, there is no switch no magical cure. I pushed the feelings down to let others grow? No that isn't right. He came to my apartment and begged to be let in, but I left him in the hallway. I didn't want to hurt you. No he doesn't want to hear that either, he doesn't want my pity. I was so flustered this morning because I had a stupid dream about Will where I hurt you, which was worse than anything I could imagine. I'm sorry. I know I say it a lot, it's one of my flaws; sometimes I say it so often that I think I'm doing it as a knee jerk reaction; violent and unstoppable, but I am sorry Micah. I know you don't want to hear this, but after four years he finally said he had chosen me. Eventually after all this time I was the one he wanted. Freshman Emily in that moment rejoiced, it was all she had ever dreamed of. All she had ever wanted, but intern Emily knew it wasn't real. Yes somewhere I still have feelings for him, but I never changed my mind about you. You chose me without an ultimatum, you saw me; for me ever since the first words you spoke to me. I don't know who I am without Will in my life as I have never tired, but I know who I would be without you. I'd be empty. I wouldn't be whole. I'd hurt, you and Joyce are family to me and I don't want to lose that. I want to take the risk, leap before I look. I want to take the risk with you." She finished to the air next to her. Why was it always easier to say everything she wanted to in a quiet room on her own, but not to the person that really mattered?

"Are you sure about that?" A warm voice asked from the aisle next to the one that she was lying in and she sat up fast.

"Micah?" she asked tentatively as she stood up and walked around the shelves. There on the floor of the next aisle was Micah his head resting on his knees with his hands braced on his neck. At the sound of her voice so close he looked up and smiled.

"Why didn't you just say that Owens?" he asked looking bemused.

"Say what?" Emily asked as she sat down next to him so their knees were touching.

"Everything," he replied sheepishly. "I got jealous and when I needed you to tell me the truth you bailed, you panicked and couldn't form words. It made me so mad that I couldn't see straight. I couldn't be around you so I went to see my mom."

"How is she?" Emily asked taking his hand carefully in hers; she didn't want to crowd him it had been a long morning.

"In pain," he said after a sigh, "Asking after you though. She wants to know if I finally asked you out." Emily glanced at Micah's face trying to gauge his reaction to his own words and seeing the light in his eyes she smiled,

"So what did you tell her?" she asked biting her lip teasingly,

"That I had to figure out if I wanted to leap before I looked and if I wanted to risk competing with a six foot, two and a half inch giant for your affections." Emily's brow furrowed adorably and Micah had to fight the urge he had to kiss her, he was still mad at her, but hearing all she had to say when she thought he wasn't there made it hard to stay as mad at her as he wanted to. She shook her head and Micah was confused.

"There is no competition," she whispered in his ear as she placed a kiss on his cheek. "You chose me first." At hearing those words all the pain and anger he had let bubble to the surface melted and he kissed Doctor Emily Owens for the second time and it was better than the first.

"So this dream?" Micah asked a little while later as they were having a picnic lunch on the record room floor, "What are we talking about? Walking down the aisle to see Will there and not me?" he asked and chuckled at the look on Emily's face,

"I liked you," she stammered, "And I did say I can be a barnacle, but slow down Barnes." She finished with a smile.

"Oh so it was like that then," Micah said his brow furrowed again, "How hot are we talking here, was it warming by the fire or fifty shades hot and dirty?" Emily felt uncomfortable, but Micah seemed relaxed,

"I'd rather not talk about it." She stated stuffing a sandwich in her mouth.

"That good huh?" he asked the colour draining from his face a little and Emily felt guilty. "Well it looks like I'm just going to have to be better." He murmured close to her ear before he nipped her ear lobe, Emily felt herself gasp in surprise as her heart skipped a beat. "Later Owens I will show you the time of your life,"

"Promise?" She asked timidly as she looked up at him from under her eyelashes.

"Promise," he said as he put out his pinkie and wrapped it around hers. Emily gulped the remainder of her lunch and couldn't make eye contact with Micah as she knew deep inside that this was going to be her last first date.

Finally she had chosen.