I have a feeling I'm going to anger a lot of people with this story. More specifically, the ending. But hey, that's what fanfictions are for, right?
I do not own any of these characters, but I own their deepest, darkest thoughts and emotions... Muahahahaha- *choke*
*Clear's throat*
Moving on...
This story is dedicated to my cat, Diddy. I'm sorry for leaving you and deciding that college was more important than our bond. I'll make it up to you someday...
Lyrics belong to Imogen Heap. Song is "The Moment I Said It". I suggest that all of you go on to YouTube and play the song on a low setting as you're reading. It really sets the mood.
Enjoy!
Have you ever regretted telling someone something? It could be anyone: A boy you like, a parent, a best friend... Then, once you've said it, you can't possibly take it back. You've let loose a destructive sentence that sabotages what was so hard to achieve. It disturbs what little peace your world contains…
I now knew how that felt.
I had run to Naruto in the middle of the night, rousing the poor fool from an otherwise peaceful sleep. He had answered the door in only an old pair of pajama pants, which normally I would have scolded him for under any other circumstance. However, when the creaky door swung open and his large, broad frame was revealed, I could hold my tongue no longer. I blurted out the information I had just accidentally been given by a member of Tsunade's guard only moments before.
Though, as I spoke the only words I knew how at that moment, I instantly wanted to swallow those words back up and forget they ever existed. Instantly I hated being the one that always had to tear down his happiness. I always tore him down…
"They're going to execute him."
The moment I said it,
The moment I opened my mouth
The lead in your eyelids,
Bulldozed the life out of me
That strong, unbreakable body of his deflates like a day old party balloon. He crumples, falling to his knees, grasping the doorknob tightly in his hand. He fists the worn doormat in his other hand, and it is then that I notice the shaking. His entire body is overcome with tremors. Slowly, I kneel down as well.
"Naruto, look, I… I'm sorry," I speak softly, attempting to sooth. It was all for nothing. When have I ever successfully soothed anyone?
"Sakura-chan." His voice is weak, something I am unused to. Why was it turning out this way? I was the weak one! I was the one that couldn't handle situations. I always needed help.
I wrap my arms around his vibrating form and hug him tightly. For a moment I contemplate moving inside out of the view of the public, however I distinguish the mental argument as I feel Naruto respond to the embrace. He fists my red tank top, burying his head further in to my shoulder.
I realize that this is the first time I have ever hugged him.
Of all the years we had spent together, all of the trials we had been put through together… Never once had I held him. Times had been hard and yet I had never turned to him. I had been so wrapped up in my self and in Sasuke that I…
Sasuke.
"I'm not going to let this happen, Sakura-chan," Naruto growls, and for a moment I am taken aback. The tremors in his body have suddenly become those of anger. He pulls himself away from me and stands up swiftly, marching back in to his dark apartment. I follow out of instinct, subconsciously afraid of what is going to occur.
"Naruto!"
I know what you're thinking,
But darling you're not thinking straight
Sadly things just happen we can't explain
Naruto's already messy apartment becomes more so as he paces around, throwing things out of his way and kicking anything in his path. For a moment I become nervous, not used to seeing this darker side of Naruto. He's always been reckless in his attempts to help people and defend justice, but this… This is different. This is destruction.
"Naruto… what are you doing?"
I watch as he wrestles himself in to a shirt, and then in to his worn orange and black jacket. Next to be added to his attire is his waist pack, and from the clinking sounds I know that it is filled with all of his kunai and shuriken. This time, however, he is not readying for a mission.
"Naruto, where are you going? Why are you taking your weapons?" He continues to ignore me, moving about his tiny apartment in frenzy, seemingly preparing for something. "Naruto, listen to me!" I shout, completely exasperated and tired of waiting for him to decide to answer me. Finally, he turns.
"Sakura, go home." His voice is cold; colder than I've ever heard it sound. It's colder and more emotionless than when Naruto blamed Tsunade-sama for the death of Jiraiya. His face is sallow, showing lines that aren't usually there, making him appear aged and weathered, betraying his actual age of eighteen. "There's something I need to do."
It's not even light out,
But you've somewhere to be
No hesitation
No I've never seen you like this,
And I don't like it, I don't like it
I don't like it at all
"Naruto, don't. You know that you will only make the situation worse! The elders have made their decision. There's nothing you can do!" I continue to yell at him as he heads towards the door. I'm not prepared to let him leave until I'm done knocking some sense in to him, so I quickly step in his way. Those leaden eyes bore in to mine, but like always I stand my ground against him. "Go back to bed, get some sleep… We'll talk it over later-"
"Sakura, move." That wicked growl again. I take notice of the fact that he's dropped his usual use of the 'chan' suffix on my name. I try not to tell myself that that little detail hurts. "It's really not a good time for you to start taking interest in what I do."
My heart splinters as he spits those words in my face. A glint of red flickers in his eyes and my heartbreak turns to fear. I've seen that glint before.
"Naruto what do you think you're going to do? Rip open the doors and change everyone's mind like you always do? Are you going to turn on that charm of yours and heroically save yet another life?" I spit back, unable to stop myself from turning the anger back on him. I compare it to giving him a taste of his own medicine. It works as he stares down at me, silenced by the heavy sarcasm in my voice.
"Sakura-"
"No! You've seen him with your own eyes, Naruto!" I cry. "He's given up! He's gone blind! He talks to himself! He has chosen this fate! He chose this fate five years ago when he walked out of our lives! He chose which life he wanted to lead, and you don't have the authority to play God and decide whether or not he should pay for the lives he took with his own!" I feel the tears pouring from my eyes, yet I don't stop. I'm too far-gone. "He isn't the person that offered his food to you after the failed bells training, or the person that dove in front of Haku's needles so that he could protect you. He's a monster-"
"How dare you!" Naruto bellowed, charging towards me. As a reflex I step back, catching myself and bracing myself on the doorframe. "He's not the monster! I'm the monster; and you should remember that before you decide to get in my way, Sakura." He's in my face now, breathing heavily. Again I see that awful crimson glint deep within the pools of his eyes. I decide that I am afraid of this new Naruto.
"You made that promise to me back when we were kids. I get it; you want to keep that promise, and you did! You brought him back to the village. He's got nothing left, Naruto. Just let it happen. Let them put him out of his misery!" I plead, subconsciously clasping my hands together. Naruto's hand shoots out and wraps around my neck, forcing me back in to the splintered doorframe. I gasp.
Sit down, come round, I need you now
We'll work it all out together,
But we're getting nowhere tonight
Now sleep, I promise it'll all seem better,
Somehow in time
"Just because you've given up, that doesn't mean I have to! As long as I'm here, he will always have something left. I'm not giving up on him!" I watch as Naruto's body shimmers, his grip tightening around my neck as the wicked aura around him thickens. Something bad is about to take place. Something that I know will end up being entirely my fault.
Before I can say another word, Naruto tosses me away, his throw strong enough to send me to the opposite wall of the apartment. A sound leaves my throat as I land on the cold wooden floor, crumpled in a heap. I lift my head slowly to see him stalking out of the apartment, his hands in tight fists. My chakra mixes with my adrenaline and I leap forward, chasing after him. I can't let him do this.
"Naruto!" I scream, searching for him in the night. I leap over the side of the staircase, and as I sail through the air I see him up ahead. I land in to a sprint in order to catch up with him. Oddly enough, he is walking rather than running. I grab his jacket and spin him around, using my added chakra boost to pull him in close and keep him there. "Stop this!"
I'm losing you, I'm losing you
Trust me on this one
I've got a bad feeling
"What about being Hokage, huh? You're next in line! Your dream is coming true. If you go there tonight and intervene, you are going to throw that all away. No village wants a ruler who acts in the best interests of a convicted criminal! Konoha has abandoned Sasuke just like he abandoned us and it's your job to side with the village and do what's right! Hokage's can't have emotional attachments to people, Naruto! It clouds your judgment and makes your decisions biased!" I yell in his face, shaking him as I do so. His eyes are vacant, as if they aren't truly focusing on me. When I'm done he remains still for a moment too long.
Suddenly my hands begin to sting tremendously, as if they are being burned. I jump back, letting go of his jacket, and cradle my palms close to my body. In front of me, Naruto doubles over, clutching his head in his hands. All at once bright red chakra begins to spill from his pores, enveloping his body. His nails become claws, his teeth fangs. He throws his head back and screams, the chakra molding in to a distinct tail.
Everything becomes still again as Naruto stares down at me, chakra licking around him like flames. I've seen it before and I'm immediately terrified, knowing full well what comes of this particular form. It can only get worse before it gets better. He looks in to my eyes, and in that look I see what looks like some sort of finality. There's a sense of dread in my stomach as his red eyes stare back, almost as if this were goodbye. I panic, desperate to keep him where he is, but I know full well I don't have the capability. His heart is being pulled too far in one direction. I barely lift my arm in an attempt to reach for him and he's gone, running and then leaping on to roof tops, faster than I could ever go.
Trust me on this one
You're gonna throw it all away
With no hesitation
"Sasuke!" His unmistakable voice howls in to the night as he makes it to the mountains, his read glowing chakra never weakening.
I collapse on to my knees, my arms barely supporting my upper body. My body is wracked with sobs, my fingers digging in to the packed dirt under me. I double over even further, crying out to no one as my forehead hits the ground. I let the pain in my chest consume me, the vision of Naruto running off in to the night replaying over and over in my mind. After all, the scene is such a familiar one…
I lift my head immediately when I feel a wave of dark, sinister chakra surge through the village like a shock wave, followed by a ground-shaking explosion that rattles the buildings close to me. I look towards the hills in time to see a massive column of smoke cloud the stars and take over the moon. My lower lip trembles and I sit back, my legs tucked under me. I'm unable to tear my eyes from the sight in the distance, even as people pour in to the streets, eager to find out what the commotion is and where that chakra burst came from.
After a few moments, all that is left inside of me is a disturbing sense of emptiness and an equally disturbing sense of pride toward Naruto. He remained true to his beliefs and his 'way of the ninja' after all of this time…
I vaguely register being helped up off of the ground by someone who smells like flowers. I am unwillingly forced to look away from the smoke and what now looks to be flames rising in to the sky, as I'm lead in the direction of what is probably my home. Then again, I'm not thinking quite straight…
My mind is too focused on the haunting thought that I have now lost them both.
