1:05 AM
Summary: For five straight nights, she silently walks to his room and checks up on him. On the sixth night, he stops pretending to be asleep.
Disclaimer: Anything pertaining to Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. does not belong to me.
A/N: This is in the same headcanon as "Smile."
The soft buzzing of his cell phone gently roused Leo Fitz from his sleep. It took a moment for his confusion to dissipate before he reached for the phone, which lay next to his head, and pressed a button to stop it from vibrating. He'd just managed to catch the '1:03 AM' illuminate from the phone before the screen blinked off. Now somewhat alert, he listened intently, hoping she hadn't changed her routine and started earlier. He was relieved several seconds later when he only heard silence. Then, after making sure he turned off (and not only snoozed) the alarm on his phone, he relaxed against his pillows and watched the seconds go by on the clock that hung on the wall facing his bed.
As soon as the clock struck 1:05 AM, he heard the careful opening of a door a little ways down the hall from his room at the Playground.
Right on time, he mused. You never disappointment, do you, Ms. Jemma?
He smiled slightly when he heard her soft footsteps as she walked the few short meters from her room to his.
It had started five nights ago. He'd been woken up by the sound of the door to his room being slowly opened. At first, he thought he'd overslept and someone decided to wake him before he missed his physical therapy session. But a quick glance at the clock showed that it was only 1:05 AM. Not knowing what else to do, he pretended to still be asleep. Though his back was to the door, he knew—with no doubt whatsoever—that the person standing beyond the crack of his opened door was Jemma Simmons.
He felt her eyes roam over him, studying him. If it were any other person, it would have been somewhat creepy and more than slightly disturbing. But since it was Ms. Jemma checking up on him, he felt comforted and cared for. Loved even. The urge to turn around and face her grew with each passing second she observed him, but he fought it down. He didn't want to cause her to be embarrassed by revealing that she'd been caught.
She came again the next morning. And then the next. And two more mornings after that. Each time, he'd pretended to be asleep. However, when the day officially started and he was able to interact with her in their waking hours, Leo quickly noticed the consequences of her early-morning visits.
The signs of her fatigue started out small with a yawn scattered here and there throughout the workday. Then dark circles started to form under her eyes. Her movements became more and more sluggish and uncoordinated as the days went on. It amazed Leo that she had not made any mistakes in her mathematical calculations or chemical syntheses. Sure, she tried compensating for her tiredness by drinking cup after cup of tea. But eventually, the lack of sleep caught up to her, and it culminated with her passing out on the common room couch at 5 PM the day before. She hadn't even stirred when Agent Triplett carried her to her room. Nor when Leo removed her shoes and tucked her in under her covers.
To say that Leo was concerned would have been a great understatement. He was incredibly worried; which was why he decided to confront her about her early-morning check-ups and finally find out why she started doing them in the first place.
His musings were interrupted by the careful opening of his bedroom door. He closed his eyes on instinct and evened out his breathing. He waited a few seconds, giving her time to process that he was all right, before he broke the silence.
"You could come in, you know?"
Her startled gasp prompted him to open his eyes. Her expression—a mixture of guilt, horror, and embarrassment—looked so adorable that it caused a smile to form on his lips.
"I don't mind you checking up on me, Ms. Jemma. In fact, I'm rather touched you do so."
Her expression morphed into a frown. She opened the door wider so she could walk completely into his room, and then closed it softly behind her until it gave a soft click.
"How many times do I have to tell you, Fitz? Just 'Jemma' is fine. Or you can also call me 'Simmons.'"
"Sorry. Habit. I haven't yet regained my memories from when I've become comfortable enough to not use a title when addressing someone. I still hear my mum's voice in my head scolding me for my 'lack of respect.' At least 'Ms. Jemma' is a step up from 'Dr. Simmons,' yeah?"
As he spoke, he moved towards one side of the bed—mindful of his casted arm—to give Jemma some room and then sat up against the wall. He wasn't surprised when she didn't wait for an invitation before making her way towards him and sitting right beside him on his bed. He also wasn't surprised when she sat close enough for their shoulders to be touching. Though it was the first time in his recollection that he'd been in this particular position with her, there was something familiar about it—like they've sat like this hundreds of times before. He let out a somber sigh when he realized that they most likely had.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
"I wish I could remember all the times we've sat like this." She turned to look at him, surprise evident on her face.
"But you remember that we had?"
"No." It was the truth. "But sitting like this with you, it feels familiar somehow. I only assumed. Was I right?"
"Yes."
"It's odd. When I first woke up," he purposely left out the word 'coma' since he didn't want to upset her. He knew she'd understand anyway. "I didn't remember anything. I mean, sure, I retained my speech and most motor skills. And from what you've told me, my brain is functioning the same. But my memories—the people I've met, places I've been to, the things I've seen—all gone. Except your smile, that is. Your smile was the only specific thing I remembered. So I at least had that. That and these gut feelings I had."
He stopped talking when the bed shook as Jemma shifted positions. She remained at his side, but she turned around so she could look at him more easily. When she crossed her legs in front of her, Leo was sure she purposely sat close enough so her knee touched his leg.
"Go on," she urged gently. "'Gut feelings?'"
"Yeah. Like how I knew to trust you and the others. Or how I didn't know any of you, but I already cared for all of you." He paused to catch her eye. "Or how I know that I'm in love with you."
She blushed and looked away.
"Fitz—
"—It's all right. My fault. I know we agreed it was best for my health if I remember things naturally. And I know I'm lucky to be gaining back my memories as rapidly as I am through my dreams. I'm just getting a bit impatient, is all. So far, my dreams are up to where we had just been assigned as lab partners. At that point, we were merely acquaintances. I'm anxious to relive how we progressed to being best friends…and to finding out when exactly my feelings for you changed. You don't have to explain anything, Jemma."
He intentionally dropped the 'Ms', hoping that it would get her to look at him again. His planned had worked better than he could have hoped for. Not only did she turn her gaze back to him, but she also gave him a dazzling smile. He hoped the smile he gave in return wasn't too goofy looking.
"There was one feeling that I had that just doesn't make sense," he said when he realized he'd been staring at her for far too long.
"Which is?" she prompted.
"It has to do with Agent Triplett. He's a great teammate. And we've become pretty good friends. But when I first woke up four weeks ago, I couldn't help but feel slightly irritated with him for some reason. Do you know why that is?"
A simple 'yes' followed by an amused smile served as her answer.
"I take it I'll just have to remember naturally." He was not amused. Wanting to hide his frustration from her, he looked down at his pajama bottom and started picking at imaginary lint.
"You haven't asked why I was checking up on you at 1:00 in the morning."
"1:05 in the morning, to be accurate. And I figured you'd tell me when you were ready."
Her sharp intake of breath made him jerk his head up in alarm. The intensity of her stare stilled his breath.
"What is it?" he asked cautiously.
"It's just…that was something you would have said before."
"Before my accident, you mean?" She had told him when he'd first woken up that he'd been in an accident, which resulted in him being in a coma for eight days and losing his memories. He knew there was something more to it, but bringing it up would have been pointless. She and the others have been very careful about the information they'd divulge, wanting him to remember naturally.
"Yes, before your accident. It just amazes and comforts me that even though you're different, you're also still pretty much the same. That doesn't even make sense, does it?"
"Doesn't matter if it makes sense or not. I always understand you and what you mean." Leo decided then that he would never get tired of seeing her smile.
"Seems like you do understand me, since that's the reason why I came here in the first place. Your accident, that is. I started having nightmares about that day again. I needed to see you, make sure you were still…that you were still here."
"And when you go back to your room, you refuse to continue sleeping—
"—because I'm afraid the nightmares would continue."
"Then sleep here."
Her eyes went wide.
"Just hear me out, please, Jemma. I'm worried about you. We all are, actually. You're always exhausted. I know your lack of sleep hasn't affected your work. Yet. But it has most definitely been affecting your health. Maybe if you sleep here—just sleep next to me, nothing sexual or anything of the sort—you'd sense that I'm all right and won't get any nightmares. And if they do come, I'll be right beside you. I'll wake you up. Or if you wake up before I do, I'm already here. No need to walk down the hall. You don't have to go through this alone, Jemma. I want to help you."
"Okay." Her immediate answer was unexpected.
"Okay?"
"I trust you, Fitz. And I know you. I know you won't try anything on me. And to be totally honest, the only reason why I was able to sleep through the nights before was because you were hooked up to the heart rate monitor. I was tracking you from my tablet even when I was in my room."
Just then, everything made sense.
"The nightmares started five nights ago when you disconnected me, and I was allowed to sleep in a room instead of the infirmary." He didn't need her confirmation to know that his revelation was correct. "Well, then. Let's get some sleep, shall we?"
He slid lower on his bed until he was lying down with his head on his pillow. Beside him, Jemma had shifted until she mimicked his position.
They lay side by side for several awkward seconds.
It was Jemma who broke the tense silence.
"We're being ridiculous." She sat up and jumped out of the bed. "Switch."
"Excuse me?"
"I'll be on that side."
"What does it matter?"
"It matters because your cast is hard."
"How is that relevant?"
"Just move, Fitz."
"Fine."
Once he did, Jemma crawled over him to get to the other side. Then, much to Leo's great surprise, she placed her head on his shoulder and wrapped an arm around his middle.
"Goodnight, Leo."
Getting over his shock, he wrapped his good arm around her shoulders.
"Goodnight, Jemma."
