"So, did I do it right?"
(How?...)
"Hikigaya-kun, I appreciate you tried to imitate my hair but please let me do it for you."
"Hikki, how do you get this strand of hair to fall down?"
(….Just how?...)
"Yuigahama, don't meddle with my hair- OUCH."
"Hikigaya-kun, please don't move. For your own good and mine's as well."
"But Yukinoshita, my ahoge-… OUCHH."
"Hikigaya-kun."
"…fine, fine."
(….Just how did we ended up like this?")
Sitting on my usual chair in the clubroom, I ponder about the weird events that just took place this morning.
I clenched my fists and rested them upon my lap. My mind began to work finding a reasonable excuse for our situation right now.
…Except it couldn't!
No such reason exists that could possibly explain this! There's no such thing!
Have the RomCom gods gone mad? Or are they just toying with me? Just what were they thinking with doing something like this? However, if they're looking to punish me for my way of living, I am most certain that "this" is not one of the ways to do it.
Oh Romantic Comedy deities, if you're listening right now. I'm telling you, a body swap arc is not the right way to do things!
"Ouch."
A sudden jolt of electricity went coursing through my body as strands of my hair were being arranged in an uncomfortable manner.
"Yukinoshita, can't you be gentler?"
"I am being gentle, after all it is my precious head that I am currently fixing right now."
"Yeah, I'm not really convinced by that with the way you're torturing me right now."
"Hikigaya-kun, hold still for a moment."
Yukinoshita was doing my hair. My long smooth hair that extends to and beyond my shoulders.
Or should the phrase be "Yuigahama doing Yukinoshita's long smooth hair that extends to and beyond her shoulders."?
I tried to place my hand on my forehead to calm my mind from this confusing situation but hesitated as I remembered the words of the girl standing right behind me.
"There, all done."
Yukinoshita then turned to face me to ask a certain question after she finished doing what she needs to do about my hair.
"Now, Hikigaya-kun, aren't you a beautiful lass?" She said with a cute smile on her face.
Well, duh, that's to be expected. I, Hikigaya Hachiman, am really beautiful as th-
What? B…beautiful?
My cheeks suddenly felt warm due to those words that Yukinoshita Yukino just let out of her mouth. I placed my hands on my lap and stared at them so as to not be noticed for my embarrassing face.
I mean no one has ever called me beautiful in my entire life! No one! Not even Komach-
Oh wait.
Nobody has ever called me beautiful probably because I'm a boy.
Ha. Right.
Well, it's not like anybody has ever called me handsome anyway.
Ha. Right.
"Wow, Yukinon. It's really true, Hikki's gorgeous!"
Yuigahama joined the special party of with the purpose of teasing me.
"S-stop with the compliments." I said with my unusually calming feminine voice.
I tried to intercept any meaning by what Yukinoshita has said to me.
Is she complimenting me? Was beautiful just the right way to address me because I'm inside a girl's body right now?
No. There's no way that our dear Ice Queen would ever do that, especially to me.
"It's to be expected Yuigahama-san, what else would you call Hikigaya-kun if he's using my face and b-body…."
Wait, really? Damn it, woman. So that's your motive, huh. You moved out of your way to fix my hair just to compliment yourself? Just.. just how deep can your narcissism get?
"Wait… that's r-right. H-Hikigaya-kun's me right n-now."
Yukinoshita stuttered further. She suddenly fell lump on the ground then positioned herself fetal-wise all the while chanting curses into the air upon the realization that I'm the one who's inside her body right now and not her.
"Really? I-it's not like I want to undress then inspect your body after I'm all alone. Trust me, there's not a bit of my soul that's interested in your yet-to-blossom body!" I exclaimed to her trying to rid myself of any suspicions that would've emerged if I didn't.
A glare of death was then given back to me by Yukinoshita, making me realize that I shouldn't have said that last part.
Oh… uhh… diversion, diversion…
"A-and besides, if someone needs suspecting here, it's you, Yukinoshita." I smirked and then continued. "After all, you got the highest bounty out of us three."
"Hikki, what does that mean?!" A very manly voiced Yuigahama-san sprung behind Yukinoshita, all flustered and blushed red.
Honestly seeing myself all red in the cheeks like that makes me quite squirm. I mean I really don't fit that face at all.
Anyway, what I said to Yukinoshita seemed to pique her interest and had made her look at her voluptuous "bounties." Her face shows that she had understand what I said.
"I-I guess you're right Hikigaya-kun. My.. my bad." She said with an awkward mixed tone of defeat and victory.
"Yukinon, don't join him on this!"
Yukinoshita and I chuckled as we watched Yuigahama frantically protect her body from us. It was a funny scene until Yuigahama decided to take a hold of her body, Yukinoshita, by force. There's nothing wrong with it except that it looked like I was groping a defenseless Yuigahama.
Sigh… this ever pure girl and her cluelessness!
After we've been finally satisfied poking fun at Yuigahama-san, I stood up and crossed my arms. With a serious tone, I said.
"So… any ideas on how to get us back to our own bodies?"
No answer. Well, there was one but not the one we needed right now.
"Hikigaya-kun, stop accentuating my chest." Yukinoshita complained with a troubled look on her face.
As a reflex I looked down to where her eyes were pointing and sure enough a slight bulge can be seen before my arms.
"I… I totally didn't plan this at all…" With a weak sigh, I protested to Yukinoshita
It was true what I said, I really didn't expect them to make a bulge at all.
"J-Just stop crossing your arms."
"I.. yeah. Got it."
"So, let's get back to the topic before Yukinoshita had interrupted me. Any ideas on how to get us back?"
With a complex look on their faces, they answered me in chorus.
"I have no idea so far."
"Nope."
I sighed at the fruitlessness of my interrogation.
Well, it's not like I expected them to come up with anything to begin with. We're all in the same situation after all.
…hah. This situation of ours just takes no meaning at all. I mean we just found ourselves like this.
Out of things to extract from these two, what I did instead was to try piecing together everything that I can remember inside my head to bring out a bigger picture of it all.
I concentrated and concentrated until a flashback came to me.
.
.
"Oh MAX COFFEE, you little angel." I muttered to myself as I gulp through half of my can.
I was just sipping my daily dose of MAX COFFEE on the way to class when a bright white light flashed into my eyes and I suddenly found myself knocked out on a desk inside an unfamiliar classroom right after.
Ouch. What's with this burning sensation on my forehead?
"Yukinoshita-san."
Gaining my vision again, the first thing I saw was a couple of girls coming towards me all wearing worried faces.
Huh? What? Yukinoshita? What about Yukinoshita?
"Are you fine, Yukinoshita-san? You slammed your head against the desk all of the sudden. Would you want us to take you to the infirmary?"
"What? Ehh.. uhhh… no, no. I'm fine." I replied to them as instinct while I was trying my hardest to comprehend what the hell was happening around me. Jeez, what's with this funny situation I found myself in?
Ouch.
The pain… there it was again. Did I really slam my head that hard?
And why am I in another room anyway?
I moved my hand to my forehead to massage the painful sensation away. But there was something wrong that I noticed right upon having gazed my own arm.
S-since when did my arm become this slim?
I took out my other free arm and slightly massaged it and not as much to my surprise, my arm is as slim as the other one. Funny because I don't remember having a diet plan of any sorts as of recent.
I'm further weird out when I turned my eyes further down my torso.
Skirt? Why am I wearing a skirt?
In a slight shock, I had placed my hands to my face in disbelief.
There I noticed that my cheeks were unusually smooth. I was slowly being mesmerized by how pillow-like they were.
So soft…
Wait.. No. No. No. This isn't the time to be pleased.
"Hey… uh, can I borrow that?"
"Huh?... eh, s-sure."
I franctically borrowed a mirror that was being used by a random girl I spotted sitting near me.
"Yukinoshita!?" I shouted as I faced the mirror.
My messed up hair was gone and was replaced by a smooth one and a set of blue round eyes took the place of my rotten ones. What I saw in the mirror was not Hikigaya Hachiman, but the Ice Queen.
Being assaulted with so many discrepancies and generally not knowing what the hell to do, I panicked and decided to run out of the classroom I was in as fast as I could, my hair being the casualty of my haste. Without even thinking why, I ran into the clubroom and there I met a certain somebody who was also breathing pretty heavily.
"Yuigahama…"
"….." Yuigahama, sweat pouring down her face and still breathing heavily, turned her face to me.
"I know you're not going to believe it but I'm Hikigaya!"
"You're…. me?" What registered in my brain was a Yuigahama with a face of disbelief.
"Me? Who?"
"You're Hikigaya-kun, right?"
"Yes! I'm surprised you're believing me this quickly, Yuigaham. Wait… Hikigaya-kun?"
"I think we're getting a bit closer to understanding each other. Hrmmm. So basically, you're Hikigaya Hachiman as Yukinoshita Yukino, in short, me and I'm Yukinoshita Yukino as Yuigahama Yui. That's correct, right?"
"Yukinoshita?"
"Yes?"
"No, no, no. Wait, you're Yukinoshita?"
"Yes. And you're Hikigaya-kun."
"We swapped bodies?" As soon as I said that, I had realized that something was wrong. Even more wrong than the body swapping itself.
If Yukinoshita's in Yuigahama's body and I'm in Yukinoshita's, then…. where the hell is my body?"
"Wait, if you're Yukinoshita with Yuigahama's body and I'm Hikigaya with your body, then where did mine go?!"
"I think I already know where it went to, much to our despair." The self-proclaimed Yukinoshita massaged her temples, seemingly to ease pain.
Bump.
A loud crash can be heard coming from the floor of the clubroom near the door. What the sound made us look at was a Hikigaya Hachiman who fell to the floor, his face all covered with brown residue.
Not long after, Hikigaya Hachiman (not me) stood up and looked at us.
"Yukinon, you're not going to believe this!" He said as he faced me.
"Hikiga-, I mean Yuigahama-san.. If you're looking for me, turn this way."
"What are you talking about, Yukinon's right her-….. ME?!"
A sigh came out of me as I fully came to understand the unexplainable situation.
"Calm down and let's wash my face first."
"Wait, Yukinon. Tell me why there's a second Yui first!" She said as I dragged my body to the faucet.
"Yuigahama-san, I'm right here."
"Just come with me, Yuigahama."
After washing off the spilled MAX COFFEE that Yuigahama supposedly spilled all over my face, we explained to her what our situation was and she seemed to understand quickly thankfully enough. Well, maybe seeing herself in the mirror was Hikigaya Hachiman was a good enough proof for her?
And that's how we ended up at the present time.
"There's not much I can come up with what I remembered."
"I'm same as you, Hikigaya-kun."
"Me too, Hikki."
I scratched my head in slight frustration.
"Well, there's not much we can do right now and panickoing won't help us at all so…."
I involuntarily gulped before I continued.
"…I hate to say this but let's go to our respective classroom because we're skipping too much class time here."
"Not much we can do, huh." Yukinoshita remarked.
"Seems like it." Yuigahama added.
And with us all agreeing with it, we stood up and left the clubroom. We headed to our classrooms together.
"Well then, Hikigaya-kun, Yuigahama-san, please take care of the bodies you're handling right now."
Yukinoshita, while saying that, looked at me with doubtful eyes. I answered her back with a weak laugh.
"See you later." She said.
"Yukinoshita." I instantly replied as I grabbed her shoulders for I had noticed something wrong about it.
"Yukinoshita, where do you think you're going?"
"Hmmm? To my classroom of course."
I made Yukinoshita face me and placed my hands on her shoulders.
"Yukinoshita. Look at your body right now, and then look at mine." Hearing me with a serious tone, she obediently did what I said to her.
"See?"
"Oh." Her face showed that she understood what I meant by that. Though I guess she still haven't fully accepted that we three actually swapped bodies with each other.
"I'll come to your room. You'll be the one to take Yuigahama-san's place in ours."
"And please take care of my body for me." I whispered to her ears."
"I'll… I'll do." Regaining her composure, Yukinoshita did a poor job of hiding her chuckle behind her hand.
No, seriously. Please do. It's Yuigahama-san that's controlling my body right now.
"Yukinon~, are you coming?"
"Well, Yuigahama's calling you."
And with that we cured our goodbyes and good lucks, good luck that we badly needed if we were to pass this ordeal.
"Good luck with this, Yukinoshita."
"I wish you well too, Hikigaya-kun…"
Yukinoshita raised her hand suddenly as if she though of something midsentence.
"Or should I say… You too, Hikki~" Yukinoshita cocked her head with a smile.
"Yeah." All I could do was smile back.
And so my first day as Yukinoshita Yukino began.
A/N
This fanfic was mainly inspired by an Oregairu doujin and motivated by my liking to bodyswap stories in general (Yamada +7 witches and Kokoro Connect anyone?).
If something is still confused about the swapping, here it is:
Hikigaya – Yukinoshita's body
Yukinoshita – Yuigahama's body
Yuigahama – Hikigaya's body.
