AN: Because Fem!Shep/Thane never got it's own sex scene, I angrily wrote this. Enjoy!
Shepard gazed at the walkways, three different paths, leading to three very different worlds. How was she to decide the fate of the entire galaxy at this scale? Despite her years of work for the Alliance, the Council, even for Cerberus, she did not feel qualified for this task. Sovereign was one thing, but this...this was a near impossible choice.
She could feel the gaze of the VI on her, waiting for her to choose. It had said all it would, and now the rest was up to her. Her crew believed in her, Earth believed in her; hell, who was to say the whole galaxy didn't believe in her too? She thought of Garrus and Kaidan, who fought with her til the end, who never gave up, even in the face of unimaginable odds. She thought of Liara, of Tali, of Wrex, whose races had rested in her hands too many times. She thought of Thane-
"You're the only friend I've made in ten years."
"Friend, huh? It's a start."
"'A start'? That's...intriguing."
Her eyes snapped closed, burning slightly at the memory. Thane's haunting eyes flashed behind her lids, taunting her. Shepard grit her teeth, willing the dampness in her eyes away. Now was not the time to cry. She didn't have the time for this.
Still, the pain of her beloved's death still cut like a sharp knife. Though her work over the past months had distracted her, he still waited in the back of her mind for when she was alone.
"I'm here for you, Thane. Whatever you need."
"You...you are very kind. Thank you for listening, Siha."
"I think my translator just glitched. What did you call me?"
"Siha...someday I'll tell you what it means."
Clenching her hand over the wound in her stomach, Shepard fell to her knees. Tears threatened to spill over, clinging to her lashes in protest. The bullet hole pulsed white hot pain, blocking her vision for what would have been an alarming amount of time were she on any other battlefield.
"What do I do, Thane?" she choked out, almost a sob. Her eyes panned across the ship, trying to make a level-headed choice. Destroy them? No, she couldn't. Not after she had finally made peace between the Quarians and the Geth. Definitely not after seeing the happiness in Joker's eyes when EDI made a joke for the first time. She couldn't take away the technological advances that her species had worked so hard to produce.
Well, at least that was one choice out.
"One of the warrior angels of the goddess Arashu. Fierce in wrath, a tenacious protector."
A 'warrior angel', he had thought her. Shepard wondered if Thane could see her now: broken body, mind in tatters, on her knees asking for his help. She knew she had never looked so pathetic before. She remembered growing up as a street urchin, nicking small bobbles to trade for food for the week, or begging for scraps behind restaurants. She remembered being beat into the dirt countless times by larger teens during her Alliance training, having grown up small due to lack of nutrition. But even through those times, she held her hope that things would get better. The woman crouched on the walkway had none. She knew now that she had to die here. She had wondered the whole time, but her crew had always changed her mind. But now she knew. And she was terrified.
"Thane...be alive with me tonight."
Her own words, said to Thane when he was scared of his own approaching death. How she wished he were there to comfort her in the same way. To hold her body close to his, reassuring her in the way only he could. Shepard could almost feel his cool lips on hers, the way his breath puffed out in surprise as she pushed him back onto the bed. She had never wanted anyone so badly before, nor been so in love.
At one time she thought she'd been in love with Kaidan. She had loved the way he made her laugh, and the loyal way he protected his friends. He had been everything she had grown up dreaming about. Her perfect prince charming. But in the end it hadn't been made to last.
"I've missed you Shepard."
Thane had promised to look after Kaidan, despite their past. Shepard had not thought she could fall in love with the Drell anymore than she already was, but at that moment she did. To see her beloved's health in such a decline since the last time seeing him was hard, but she couldn't imagine not having seen him again.
The sudden image of Kai Leng's knife in Thane's gut flashed across her vision. Her own wound throbbed almost in acknowledgement of the similar placement. How fitting, she thought, that the Illusive Man had managed to hurt her twice in the same way.
Shepard's eyes then went to the left, staring at the control panel. That was what the Illusive Man had wanted all along. That was what he had sent Kai Leng out to gain access to. Countless deaths were piled upon Cerberus's insane quest for control, and Thane's body lay on top: glassy, unseeing eyes wide open. Her blood boiled at the thought. She would not be doing anything Cerberus thought was a good idea.
So that left only one choice, really.
"I still love him for it. And I don't think that will ever change."
Shepard could still remember fullness of her heart at the funeral she and Kolyat had arranged. She had barely made it through her speech without crying. She had been glad so many of her crew had come. Though no one else had known Thane as she had, they all had their own stories and memories to share. It had swelled her heart to know how close her crew really was.
"I once had no reason to live, then suddenly I had two: you and Kolyat."
Now I have no reason to live, Shepard thought in response to the memory, you are now my reason to die. Her hands shaking, she braced herself on the floor below her. The pain as she pushed herself to her feet was excruciating, but necessary. It cleared her head long enough to show the only path she could really take was the one forward. Synthesis, the VI had called it. She would save everyone but herself, and that suited her just fine.
"I cannot forget you. That is what humans say. With us, it is a state called tu-fira. Lost in another. It can consume us. In case you are in the same pain, I want to say..."
Step after pain-filled step brought her closer to the green light. Of course it would be green. It was a couple shades different than Thane's skin, but close enough to reassure her of her choice.
"You have only made my life better."
A wind picked up, throwing Shepard's hair into her face, but she didn't care enough to brush it aside. Her final purpose lay before her, maybe her only purpose in the end, and nothing would sway her. The galaxy would be safe, and she would be at peace.
"We are alive, Siha. And when we are not, I will meet you across the sea."
She stood at the edge of the walkway, a high ringing sound in her ears. Below her, the vortex of light swirled impatiently, beckoning her to enter. Shepard raised her chin to the stars, dropping her eyes closed. She could almost feel the whisper of Thane's kisses across her skin, gently encouraging her.
"I wish you could have been here with me."
The words tumbled from her lips, a perfect copy of what she had said on the Citadel to Thane's ghost. She had not dared turn around for fear that he leave sooner. His voice had been enough. It had to be. His reply, were it actually from him, or from some fragmented memory of hers, had been the only thing keeping her fighting by the end. It had been what she needed to hear.
"I am always with you, Siha."
Tipping her weight slightly forward, Shepard fell. Though her eyes were still closed, she could feel the warmth of the light surrounding her, entering her cells. The pain of her wounds disappeared, being filled, instead, with a giddy sort of contentment. It felt like stepping into a warm bath, and then having the bath heal all your ailments.
The light soon brightens, almost penetrating her eyelids in its intensity, then suddenly there is only blackness.
A different kind of warmth begins.
Shepard can almost smell the sunshine on her skin.
Carefully blinking open her eyes, she rolls slowly into a sitting position. On one side of her is a massive body of water, stretching out farther than her eye could see. On the other, a lush forest filled the land past the shore she is now sat on. Her hand fists into the sand beneath her, testing its reality. It separates easily as her fingers press at it, creeping up under her nails. With her other hand, she presses gently where the bullet hole had been, finding it perfectly normal and unharmed. Shepard tears her shirt up, gazing intently at her stomach. There's no sign of a gun wound, or any wound for that matter. None of her old scars remain over any part of her torso, nor her arms. She stands quickly, testing out her legs, her feet, but nothing feels injured. In fact, she hasn't felt this rejuvenated in years.
"Where am I?" she wonders aloud, staring at her hands in awe.
"At the shore," a soft voice murmurs behind her. Shepard freezes in her inspection, allowing her hands to drop. She doesn't turn around for fear of him being a ghost once more.
"...Thane?" she whispers eventually, her voice hoarse.
"Siha," he greets, voice in her ear, arms sliding around her waist. Shepard feels her legs fall out from under her, despite being readily moveable just moments earlier. Thane catches her, putting an arm under her legs to lift her, her head resting on his chest. She feels him press a kiss to her hair. "Take as long as you need, Siha. I am not going anywhere." he promises, carrying her like a baby into the trees.
Shepard allows herself to be lulled by the gentle movements of Thane's chest as he breathes, his breaths more steady than she had ever heard them on the Normandy. She has never noticed until now just how broken his inhalations had been, more akin to gasps than anything.
After what could have been hours, or mere minutes, Thane's pace slows. They exit the dense forest into a clearing of sorts. A small, primitive home had been constructed to one side, made out of what looked like bamboo. Shepard does not remember seeing anything like that on the way to the clearing, but, granted, she had been distracted. On the other side, consoles lined the trees, reminding her that this was still the twenty second century. Thane walks straight towards the shelter, giving Shepard little time to examine the rest of the area, and deposits her onto a large bed that takes up most of the home. Her Drell climbs onto the bed after her, framing her head with his hands, one knee set gently between hers.
Thane lowers his head until his lips hovered just over hers. His large eyes flicker over her face rapidly, as if it would go away if he stopped looking.
"Shepard," he breathes, her name sounding like a prayer on his lips. His eyes glaze over as he delves into memory. "Light breeze. Shirt lifts slowly, hand touching skin. A bird calls in the distance. I am entranced. My Siha."
"Thane..." Shepard forces out, head clouded with how close Thane is. "Please Thane, plea-"
She is silenced by Than pressing his lips to hers. A moan escapes her, low in her throat, as she brings her hands up to stroke down his back. He is firm and warmer than she remembers, but it is probably all the sunlight here. The kiss intensifies, Thane nips her lip to open her mouth and allow his tongue to explore. Shepard readily complies, fisting her hand into his shirt.
The knee between her legs presses up until she is splayed open and wanting beneath the Drell. Thane breaks the kiss to tear Shepard's shirt over her head and throw it to the side. His eyes burn into her skin as he tugs her up high enough to remove her bra as well.
"Beautiful," he says huskily, leaning down to pull a nipple into his mouth. Shepard cries out lightly as his tongue circles the nub. His teeth nip gently at it before he moves to give the other the same treatment. His deft hands undo the fasteners of her pants with ease, shifting aside just long enough to slide them off as well. Before they have even hit the ground, his hand fits back where his knee once was, kneading her mound gently.
"Th...Thane," Shepard gets out, pupils blown wide with lust. Her own hands tear frantically at the back of his shirt until he takes the hint to remove it. His scales are glowing in the light of the room, and Shepard can't take her eyes off them. She grabs his jaw and pulls him into a deep kiss. Thane hums in approval.
"Siha, move up the bed please," he directs after the kiss. Shepard does what she's told, glad to have an easy order. Thane peels her wet panties off as she goes, throwing them with the growing pile of clothes. He presses a hand to her chest, making her lean back into the pillows. Without breaking eye contact, he slips one cool finger into her. It slides in easily, a testament to how turned on she is, and he adds a second, scissoring slowly.
"Siha, would you like me to make love to you?" he asks gently, hooking his fingers into that spot making her see stars, "Or would you like me to fuck you?" A third finger is added, filling her deliciously. Thane lowers his head to place his mouth over her nub, sucking firmly. The pace of his fingers speeds up, hitting her g-spot with deadly accuracy. Shepard's head falls back onto the pillows, a startled gasp escaping her. She knows she isn't going to last long. Between the stimulation and Thane's words, she's a mess of pleasure.
"Uhng!" she gets out as she peaks, stars exploding behind her eyes. Her hands fist into the sheets as she writhes. Thane slows the pace of his fingers as she comes down, removing his mouth to smirk up at her. "Fuck, Thane," Shepard pants as soon as she can speak. Thane comes up to plant a kiss on her lips, and she can taste herself on him. "I love you."
"I love you more, Siha," Thane replies, an evil sort of smile on his lips. "And fuck you I will," he continues, standing to remove the rest of his clothing. Shepard can't help but watch as inch by inch of his glorious skin is revealed. His markings continue down his torso and onto his legs, something she assumes is unique for each Drell. Her gaze comes to rest on his cock, which she had been worried about the first time they had coupled. Mordin had assured her, after a time, that physically, sex would work between them. It's different than a human males, but is similar enough that it is possible. In fact, if she's being honest to herself, Shepard prefers the shape of Thane's cock to that of human men. It starts thicker at the base, slimming as it reaches the tip, which has a slight hook to it, giving it the ability to graze her g-spot with each thrust. It is the only part of Thane's body that exudes heat, a fact that Shepard loves. It makes her feel like she's burning up inside.
The bed dips as Thane crawls up to her. She can feel her heart beating almost out of her chest. He comes up between her legs, lining himself up to her entrance. His eyes meet hers, and he thrusts in, sheathing himself fully inside her. Shepard gasps at the full feeling, wanting him to stay in her forever. He pulls out and slams back in quickly, ripping a moan from her throat.
"I'm afraid I cannot hold back, Siha," he growls, kissing her neck. "It's been too long." Shepard just squeezes his back in response, past being able to speak. He increases his pace then, some thrusts shallow, others so deep he has her seeing stars.
Suddenly, Thane wraps an arm around her waist, and flips them over, his cock still deep inside her. Shepard gasps at the new position, and how much deeper it makes him go. Her own weight has impaled her entirely. He grips her by her hips after a few moments, and begins to rock her up and down on his shaft. Shepard throws her head back as she sinks down, feeling more full than she ever has.
"Not...going to last much longer," Thane forces out, panting. One of his hands find Shepard's nub as she fucks herself, massaging it in time with his thrusts. Suddenly, Shepard falls still, sinking down onto his cock as a second orgasm rips through her. Thane groans at the feeling of her pulsing around him, coming deep inside her.
Shepard lays down on his chest, thankful for the cool scales, as he rides out his orgasm. She makes no move to remove his shaft, still revelling in his being here. The thinning cock inside her, along with the seed he released, help reassure her that this is real. She can feel tears gathering in her eyes, and blinks them away.
"Thane, don't leave me again," she whispers into his chest. His arms come up around her, enveloping her in his cool embrace.
"Never, Siha," he promises, kissing her head. "Nothing can take me from you now."
