AN: First off, thank you for the responses to Introduction to Pharmaceutical Addiction. I will be honest, didn't really know if I was going to post any more, but two things happened: 1) Insomnia, and 2) I was bored during said insomnia and may have read "My Immortal." Followed by repeated viewings of the music video for Evanescence's "My Immortal." What does this have to do with Community, you may ask? Or anything? Beats me. I just feel like being chatty. So, how's everything in your lives?
Digressing.
This will be ongoing. Until I feel like not doing it anymore. Eh. I have undiagnosed ADD stemming from an incident with a why is my fan squeaking? The first five chapters are written and constitute what would essentially be considered the Season Premiere. It won't all be massive arcs like that. Like any TV show, there will be breather chapters. Hopefully nothing as bad as History 101. I guarantee nothing, however.
Abed wasn't a computer.
Mostly.
Despite what was continually insinuated, he had emotions. If he didn't, Abed wouldn't have had to clone himself so that he could deal with Troy's decision to sail around the world. He had some understanding of joy, anger, pain, and even basic sexual attraction. The last wasn't as prevalent, but, really, that's why he and Rachel worked well together as a pair; neither were all that hung up on sex. Sure, it was good when they had it, but they went weeks in between tumbles without either of them really noticing they hadn't been physical.
Honestly, it was more a 'best friends with benefits' situation than anything.
But, again, neither of them really complained. After Abed's snafu in the Pile of Bullets incident, the two of them sat down and laid out what, exactly, they expected from their relationship. It boiled down to "people watching buddy, movie watching buddy, occasional sex buddy, and movie recreation buddy." It was a different dynamic than he had with Troy…
Has. Has with Troy.
Abed's relationship with Rachel was optimal for them both. It was comfortable without being boring, they shared interests, and neither really cared if they went stretches of time without speaking. Not that they went more than a couple of days without contact of some sort, but it was nice to know that he and Rachel didn't have to constantly be with each other to validate their relationship. What wasn't optimal was whatever the hell was happening between Annie and Jeff.
That wasn't completely correct. Abed knew what was going on with Annie and Jeff. Abed may not be a computer, but he was a keen observer of human nature. Over the years, he had shifted his description of himself as less Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation and more the titular character from the BBC's excellent Sherlock. Which was perfect, really, because Rachel made a better Watson to his Holmes than Troy. Though Troy, and even Annie, made better Constables to his Inspector than Rachel did. Troy and Annie could feed into his more whimsical moments, but Rachel grounded him in reality while still able to appreciate role-playing. If there was a way to take parts of each of the three of them and mold it into one super-being, Abed might actually find himself falling in love. At least as he understood it.
And, as he understood love, Abed was well aware of how Jeff felt about Annie, and vice versa. Really, they all were by this point, even Hickey, who had known them for only a semester. Actually, Hickey had them pegged about three meetings into the Save Greendale Committee.
"Winger knows he has to fill out the dating paperwork now, right?" Hickey had asked after the two had left the meeting in question, which had ended with Annie going full Disney Face on Jeff to get him to help her attack a colony of what was possibly sentient black mold in the science building. Despite protests to the contrary, Jeff had never managed to build up a strong enough resistance for when she went full Disney. And his protest time decreased with each instance by a full two seconds. Abed figured Jeff would be agreeing to things without the Disney Face by about halfway through the semester.
"They've been like that for years," Shirley said sweetly. "I was worried about their souls for the longest time, but I don't think they'll ever cross the line into sin. And, at this point, I'm more worried when they aren't making googly eyes at each other." She lowered her voice two octaves. "Bad things happen."
Britta nodded in agreement. "They aren't dating." She paused and looked at Troy and Abed. "Right?"
"Define dating," Troy said. "Does that mean that they go out on little side adventures without the rest of us, share what they think are secret, longing looks, and have sex?"
"Pretty much," Britta said. Suddenly, hers and Shirley's gazes locked and their heads whipped towards the doors of the library, a look of comprehension on their faces. Shirley muttered a prayer as she tried to stare a hole in Jeff's and Annie's backs, despite the fact that they were well out of sight by that point.
Troy let out a breath in relief. "Then they aren't dating, because Annie would have mentioned the sex in her diary and whoops."
"Troy is right, Britta," Abed said, taking over the narrative from his other half, who looked about ready to cry. "Jeff is about ready to admit his feelings, but just needs one, last catalyst. Annie is hung up on a Winger speech from our third year, where Jeff said without outright saying it that neither of them was quite ready for a relationship with each other yet. She's more ready than she thinks she is, but won't see it until Jeff hurts her one last time."
"You got through that with a surprising lack of movie references," Britta narrowed her eyes.
"Annie wrote that all in her diary, did she?" Shirley asked menacingly.
Troy and Abed exchanged looks and shrugged. "She may have overanalyzed her feelings towards Jeff," Troy said. "And gone into a disturbingly detailed account of how she would take us all out if she had to."
Abed nodded quickly, eyes wide. "After reading it, I've decided that Annie is Batman now."
Britta adopted a thoughtful look at that. "As a psych major..."
"Stop," Hickey interrupted. He sighed and said, "I can't believe you people are dragging me into this. You two," he jabbed a finger at Troy and Abed, "stay out of Miss Edison's diary. I've had her in my class long enough to know she can fake a crime scene impossibly well. And you," he turned to Britta, "don't meddle. Nothing good comes from meddling under normal circumstances. In this place, it'll start another riot. Just leave them alone."
At the time, they reluctantly agreed with Hickey and decided to let Jeff and Annie sort out their relationship. Now, months later, Abed was aware of a shift on both of their parts and could trace it easily back to Borchert's lab. Annie's breakthrough was simple to deduce, since she delivered the Winger speech to bring about closure and emotional resolution instead of Jeff during the Subway Takeover. She finally realized that her feelings for Jeff were genuine, not simply 'being in love with the idea of being loved,' as she put it once upon a time. And, like Abed had predicted, her breakthrough occurred because Jeff was a monumental idiot and proposed to Britta as his world started crumbling around him.
Jeff had been just as easy to figure out. There weren't many things that could have triggered a passionate response from him to reboot Borchert's computer. Really, the only question had been whether it was Annie, alone, that had opened the door, or the combined impact of his feelings for Annie, Britta, and Abed, himself. Abed didn't really consider the Dean as an emotional touchstone for Jeff and, thus, eliminated him from contention. The fact that Jeff had them turn their backs all but guaranteed it was his love for Annie that had saved Greendale. He would have been looking at her to get the necessary feeling, and it would have been obvious to all of them, at that point.
What bothered Abed, though, was that, instead of acting as a catalyst to bring them closer together, saving Greendale actually seemed to drive them farther apart. There was a gulf between them, a tension that had nothing to do with their mutual attraction. The Save Greendale Committee wasn't meeting any longer, but the group sans Hickey, who had gone to visit his son and son-in-law for the summer, still got together regularly at either Annie and Abed's or Jeff's apartments. It was actually a bit more common for them to congregate at Jeff's as the get-togethers became more frequent, since he had a bit more space and furniture than the younger pair.
Abed had assumed, based on their combined breakthroughs and previous history, that Jeff and Annie would just naturally gravitate towards each other when they all gathered. Instead, they would almost go out of their way to avoid being next to one another, much less alone. Jeff had almost become rooted at the hip to Duncan, who wasn't complaining, as he now had a regular drinking buddy. Annie, for her part, stayed close to Rachel, Shirley, or Chang, oddly enough. Neither seemed comfortable around Britta or Abed, himself, for what were obvious reasons to the latter.
It was getting absurd, Abed thought, as he watched them dance around each other at yet another group social outing. This time it was to L Street and without Shirley, who had her boys for the weekend. Abed had decided to experiment a little when they arrived and manipulated the seating to where Jeff and Annie had no choice but to sit next to each other in the booth the group had claimed. He watched discreetly as they exchanged awkward glances and seemed to have a silent conversation that ended with Annie huffing and sliding in first to sit next to Britta, followed by Jeff sitting so close to the edge, he only had one buttock in the booth.
This lasted all of five minutes. "I'm going to play pool," Jeff announced. He slid out of the booth like it was on fire, his scotch sloshing a little as he snapped it up. Chang jumped to join him, followed by Duncan. Annie visibly deflated, her eyes finding the ceiling in what Abed felt was relief.
Abed saw Britta's eyes track from Jeff at the pool table to Annie in the booth several times. He wasn't sure she was going to put the pieces together, at least not in the appropriate way, but if there was one thing Abed had learned about Britta in the last few months it's that you underestimate her at your own risk. Britta drained her bottle and said, "I need a refill. Annie?"
Annie nodded and slid out of the booth without saying anything. She did let out a yelp of surprise as Britta grabbed her elbow and practically dragged her through the crowd towards the bar. The music and the overall chatter of people on a Friday night drowned out Annie's protests, but Abed got the gist.
Rachel sipped her drink, a vodka cranberry, thoughtfully beside him and nodded towards the bar. "That won't end well."
"Critical analysis failure," Abed said with a sip of his beer. "Though Britta has helped me on occasion, Annie is on a whole different level. She's Dr. Cox from Scrubs."
"I would have thought that was Jeff," Rachel frowned in thought. "Both have vanity issues, are incredibly snarky, and believe they are God's gift to their professions, but have to settle for lesser positions because they refuse to play by the rules."
Abed considered this for a moment. "Personality wise, yes. Jeff is the Dr. Cox of our group. From a neurosis standpoint, Annie is much closer, as she believes she can get through her issues without psychiatric help, rehab notwithstanding, which is, most likely, a manifestation of her control issues. She also has the drug addiction that parallels Dr. Cox's alcoholism, which Jeff doesn't have. Put it all together and it will lead her to be antagonistic towards any therapist, to the point of reducing said therapist to tears."
Because real life mimicked television more than anyone would willingly admit, Britta returned to the booth at that moment with tears in her eyes that she was doing her best to discreetly wipe away. Abed and Rachel both tracked their gazes to the bar, where Annie was still leaning with a definite 'don't mess with me' vibe rolling off her. Britta sniffed loudly and said, "So, Annie wanted me to let you know she's calling it an early night."
"You were doomed to fail," Abed said automatically.
Britta looked torn between giving him a look of utter shock and her sour-puss face, settling on something that made her look like she had suffered a stroke. Rachel squeezed her eyes shut and let out a rough sigh. "Abed, we've discussed this."
Abed frowned. "Too blunt?"
"Too blunt," she confirmed.
"I'm sorry, Britta," Abed said with a tilt of his head that he hoped conveyed contrition. "I merely meant that Annie is beyond your ability to therapize. Unlike Jeff and myself, who actually wanted help even if we had to be led there somewhat forcefully, Annie won't acknowledge that the situation between her and Jeff has become unmanageable."
Britta hunched down in the booth and crossed her arms tightly across her chest. "She didn't have to be a B about it."
"You went straight to the Elektra Complex, didn't you?" Abed asked.
"No," Britta said. They all watched as Annie stormed out the front door of the bar, completely ignoring Jeff's calls after her and only sparing Chang, of all people, a brief response. Britta winced. "Maybe."
Rachel and Abed both groaned. "For starters, you went to the father well first, which isn't the root of her problems, it's her mother," Abed said. "Yes, Annie and her father aren't close, but she's made her peace with it. They speak when it's expected; holidays, birthdays. He floats her a check every two months. That's the extent of their relationship and they both seem okay with it. Her mother's controlling nature is what Annie still struggles to overcome and what led her down the road to addiction."
Britta eyed him for a long moment, lips pursed in thought. "You're still reading her diary, aren't you?"
"She's a surprisingly engaging writer," Abed said.
Rachel bobbed her head. "Her knack for detail is really beneficial when she's describing certain fantasies."
Britta's eyes bugged out. "You two haven't acted out those fantasies, have you?"
"No." "Yes."
Abed and Rachel started and glanced at the other and then back to Britta.
"Yes." "No."
"So wrong," Britta muttered into her drink. Abed and Rachel didn't look at each other, but still connected with a high-five for the exchange with big grins on their faces. "And a vicious violation of privacy on the level of the No Such Agency."
Abed and Rachel both groaned, while a wadded up cocktail napkin hit Britta in the face from an adjacent booth. Britta glared at the other two before asking, "What was the other thing?"
Abed tilted his head. "Sorry?"
"You said for starters with her dad," Britta said. "What was the other thing I messed up?"
"Oh, that," Rachel said, offering a small smile. "Her hang up with Jeff has nothing to do with her birth-family issues. If we," she gestured to Abed, who nodded a confirmation that she spoke for both, "had to venture a guess, she doesn't know how to act now after laying herself bare down in that lab. Annie thinks Jeff is being standoffish because he knows now that she's in love with him."
"Which is making her angry because it's reminding her of their kiss after the Tranny Dance," Abed picked up the narration. "She's also a little afraid because, despite the fact that neither has actually said the words out loud, they are each other's best friend and she doesn't want to lose that. Annie's never really had one. She sees Troy and me as little brothers, more so than her actual brother, who was creepy on a level that I noticed it."
Britta blinked. "Wait. Annie has a brother? Since when?"
"Don't worry about it," Abed waved it off. "He'll probably never get mentioned again. Like Buddy."
"Who?" Britta asked.
"Exactly," Abed nodded approvingly. "Anyway, you and Shirley are her big sister and mom substitute, respectively. Pierce was her dad substitute. She's already lost Pierce and Troy, so she's panicking that this mess with Jeff will send him running, like it's done in the past, and that this time he won't come back so they can reset at the end of the episode."
Britta nodded thoughtfully. "But Jeff isn't being a douche this time. He's actually...being sweet, I guess? Not just to her; to all of us. Though the way he's acting like a teenager with his first crush towards her is hilarious. You know he apologized to me for the whole engagement mess? I mean, we were both just trying to deal, so whatevs. I was in shock enough that falling into the trap that the penisocracy has set for women in the 'institution' of marriage actually sounded appealing. Did you know that marriage was originally..."
"Britta, I'm stopping you right there," Abed cut in. "While you were ramping up to probably your best pseudo-political rant in some weeks, we've only got a limited amount of time before Jeff, Duncan, and Chang wander back over now that Annie's left."
"Fine," Britta huffed. "Recapping, Annie's speech forced Jeff to acknowledge his feelings towards her, but she's overanalyzed his possible responses without noticing his actual response."
"Actually, he did that years ago," Abed corrected, though he was forced to admit her analysis of Annie was surprisingly dead-on. "After Annie's Model U.N. breakdown. She transcribed his entire speech. Troy cried for thirty minutes after we read it. Now, he's just realized the depth of his feelings."
"Okay," Britta said slowly. "So, what changed for Jeff, then?"
Abed and Rachel exchanged another look and silent conversation. This time, Abed nodded and asked, "What do you think allowed Jeff to open up the door down in Borchert's lab?"
"I assumed the reflection of his abs," Britta joked, holding up a hand for a high-five. She shamefully put her hand down when neither of them gave her as much as a pity slap. "C'mon, that was a quality burn."
"It was love," Abed said. "But, not just any love."
Rachel nodded and leaned in closer to Britta. "True love."
"Okay," Britta snorted. "I realize he's changed a lot since the jag he was when we first started Greendale, but Jeff Winger isn't capable of 'true love' with anyone other than a mirror."
Abed leaned back, steepling his fingers before him. "Isn't he? Five years ago, would you have pictured Jeff hanging out willingly with both Duncan and Chang?" He nodded his head towards the pool table, where Jeff was watching Chang do something that vaguely resembled billiards. There was actually a fond look on his face, if Abed was gauging the upturn of his mouth correctly.
Britta watched the trio play for a while before letting out a sigh. "His feelings for Annie opened the door."
"Exactly," Abed nodded, happy that he didn't have to lead her there. She really was becoming more analytical and hadn't Britta'd anything for months, panicked engagements notwithstanding. "I entertained the notion that it was his combined love for the three of us that rebooted the computer, but, logically, while he cares about both of us, neither of us would evoke the necessary passion that was required."
"No offense, Britta," Rachel added with a soft smile to lessen the blow.
"I should be pissed, right?" Britta asked after a moment. "I mean, he kind of proposed to me while he was in love with someone else. That's got to be the plot of a movie, right?"
"Romantic false lead?" Rachel asked Abed with the seriousness of a doctor asking for a consult.
Abed frowned. "Possibly. Though, Britta is a main character and didn't just disappear after their relationship fizzled. That applies more to Professor Slater."
"Who?"
"First season," Abed said. "Taught statistics and was Jeff's first serious love interest at Greendale."
Rachel's eyes lit up in recognition. "Isn't she the one that went missing for three years before she was found at some commune in Hawaii?"
"That's the one," Abed nodded. He turned to Britta and asked, "Romantically, how do you feel about Jeff?"
Britta took a moment to consider. "Jeff and I are better as friends. I guess that's why I'm not that upset with the whole, aborted engagement thing. The only real passion we have is to drive one another crazy."
Abed and Rachel nodded at each other and chorused, "Wrong guy first."
Britta shook her head. "I'm lost."
"You, Jeff, and Annie are the romantic leads of Sweet Home Alabama," Abed supplied. He shrugged at Rachel's stunned look. "She gets Reese Witherspoon movies."
"Duh-doy," Britta said with a forehead slap. "I'm the New York City mayor's son Jeff thinks he's in love with until he realizes how much his first love, Annie, has grown and changed right before we get hitched and that he really does love her."
Rachel goggled at the blonde. "I don't even…"
"Which brings us to the crux of the problem," Abed said. "The Jeff and Annie of It All. They're stuck where they're at, despite both being at the right time and place emotionally to have their relationship upgrade. I've come to the conclusion that they need a push, so this is what I propose."
Britta and Rachel both leaned closer to Abed, looks of expectation on their faces, even while he sat as still as a painting, hands splayed before him as if he were making a point. Rachel watched him for about a minute before turning to Britta. "Uh, this is a new one to me."
"I think he's waiting for a commercial break," Britta muttered. "Abed, sweetie, you realize no one's cutting away from us, right? This conversation isn't brought to you by Hawthorne Wipes, for when you absolutely need racially pure hand cleanser."
Abed blinked and leaned back in the booth, his arms folded across his chest and a look of dissatisfaction on his face. "There really should have been a quick cut to Jeff or Annie right there."
