This is amazing grace, this is unfailing love that You would take my place, that You would bear my cross
You lay down Your life, that I would be set free. Oh, Jesus, I sing for all that you've done for me...
"Excuse me, is someone sitting there?"
This lady interrupted my grooving to the music as she was trying to slide into the pew I was currently sitting in. "Oh, um, no, no, go ahead..."
I grabbed my purse along with my jacket and put it on the other side of me. I guess my sister can just sit on the end, even though she doesn't really like it. She prefers being deep inside the pew. But Whatever. She should have got here sooner if she wanted a better seat.
She smiled at me and held on to her purse in front of her so it wouldn't hit me when she walked through and as I watched her go on by, I finally realized that there was a younger guy with her, trailing shortly behind.
A really, REALLY hot guy.
He looked at me, no emotion whatsoever in his face or eyes, and then took a seat next to this lady. His mom, I'm assuming. They have the same blue eyes. It definitely looked like he didn't want to be here and I mean, who cares. People get dragged to church all the time by their parents. But this isn't any church. It's my church. My place of worship. And it also doesn't help that my dad is the pastor here. So you know what, I'm a little offended and disappointed.
"Thank you," the lady smiles at me warmly before getting up and singing along to the song that they were playing.
I rose back up and then looked over at the guy to see if he would get up, too. But nope.
Whatever. Not my problem.
The worship team ended their singing and then my mom came out and made some announcements about the church, events going on, and then led everyone in a prayer before my dad came out and started his sermon.
This is what I do every Sunday. Church. Church at 9 am. I pray. I thank God for everything. I ask for forgiveness. I ask for strength. I ask for guidance. I ask for healing. Anything and everything.
This is what I do and this is what I am- a church girl. A pastor's daughter.
And surprisingly, no, I don't rebel. I don't go out and party in secret. I don't sneak out. I don't smoke or drink. And it's all because I don't want to. I have no desire or need for it. I'm not a freak, like most people label church girls, pastor's daughters. No. I go out. I go to parties. And social gatherings. I just don't indulge in anything I'm not comfortable with. And people are fine with that. I'm popular. And I'm a church girl. Go figure.
"Sorry," my sister whispers to me as she moves my coat and places it in my lap before taking a seat next to me, "Michael called as I was heading in here and I had to answer."
"It's fine," I tell her before looking back at my dad.
His message was on point today. It's always on point, actually. Well, for me, anyway.
I think a huge misconception about being a preachers daughter is that we're perfect, we don't break the rules, etc. But we're not. And also, that all our parents do it talk about God. Wrong again. Yes, he is the center of our wold and we pray every single day and thank God every day, but every conversation does not have the word God in it. I yell at my dad like any other girl would. My dad gets frustrated at his daughters and at his wife even and yells when he wants to. Just like a normal guy. Like a guy who works a 9-5 job. My mom gets upset when he leaves his shoes laying anywhere. She yells at us if our rooms are messy. We're not like perfect cookie cutter family. It's all so normal and some people don't get that. I mean, my closest friends get that. People in my life get that. My past boyfriends have gotten it, although it did take some convincing.
I discreetly looked over at the hot guy who looked like he didn't want to be here and it seemed like he was listening, but I'm not sure just how much he was taking in, to be honest.
"Well, that was amazing," Natalie flung her purse over her should and draped her sweater on her arm, "I'm gonna go say hi to dad."
My sister went up to my dad for a minute while I looked down at my phone, going through some texts. I replied to my friends and then put it back in my pocket and was gonna wait for my sister to come back so we can head out together, but the lady next to me stood up and tried to get out my way.
She once again gave me a small smile, turned to her son to say something and then looked back at me, "Sorry, excuse me."
Oh yeah, right. I'm in their way.
I grabbed my things and walked out of the pew and went over to my mom who was in the back of the church. The lady and the guy followed closely behind but when I got to my mom, they went in the opposite direction.
The guy looked over at me for a brief moment and we locked eyes again.
His blue eyes met mine.
And for some reason, I want to know who this guy is, why he's here, and why I haven't seen him before.
"Do you wanna go grab some sushi or something? I'm starving."
I can't believe he moved on so fast... Like, I know we didn't date for that long, but he told me he loved me. That has to at least make someone wait a month before getting a new girlfriend, right?
And before they become girlfriend and boyfriend, aren't you supposed to date someone for a while? So what? They started seeing each other RIGHT after we broke up? That's not cool. And I know it was mutual, but I feel like he pulled the plug first and now it just makes me wonder if...
"Gabriella!"
Oh, right, right. Um. I turned to Sophie and gave her my undvided attention. "Sorry, what?"
She closed her magazine and threw it on the nightstand by her bed, "What's up with you, are you okay?"
I looked down at my phone at the picture of Thomas and Maya again. I'm kind of hurt because for some reason, I thought our breakup wasn't permanent. Yes, it wasn't really working out at the time, but I thought maybe some space would be good and I thought we were on the same exact page about that, but obviously we aren't since he's off posting pictures with his new girlfriend. Well, she posted it. But same thine, pretty much.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, it's just Thomas. He's dating Maya."
"Maya Thompson? Are you serious?" Sophie's head perked up, "No way."
"What?" I furrowed my eyebrows at her. Why does she seemed so surprised by the whole thing? Or shocked?
She shook her forehead and chuckled a bit before getting off her bed and going to open her window. It was a hot day in Orange County. "No, nothing, it's just I had her in my art class last year and I remember she asked me once what you saw in Thomas so this is kind of shocking because it seemed like she didn't think very highly of him."
Yeah, Maya strikes me as someone who wouldn't go for Thomas, but I guess she did. "I don't know, I'm not mad, maybe just a little upset that it seems so soon, you know? I thought maybe that, I don't know..."
"No, yeah, I thought the same thing," she agreed with whatever I was going to say, "for some reason, I still feel like you guys will get back together."
"I don't think I want to anymore," I shrug, even though I still have feelings. They're still there. It's a fresh breakup. "I mean, this is kind of disrespectful, isn't it? It's one thing to start dating someone, but to post pictures knowing very well the ex girlfriend would see it? Well, yeah, that's not cool."
"Oh totally," Sophie nodded as she went to her dresser, "you're better off, anyway."
Who knows. All I know is that it's senior year and I do want to have fun. And not saying you can't with a boyfriend, but if you don't have a boyfriend, you can spend all the time in the world with your friends.
And I have the worlds greatest friends. Seriously. The best of the best.
Maybe I am better off. Maybe not. Who knows. God knows. And He has a plan for me that I don't even know yet.
It might be getting back with Thomas in the future or it might not be. Who knows. Not me.
But I don't have time to worry about that right now. "Seriously, can we finish our homework so we can go grab something to eat? I'm starving. Are you craving anything?"
Sophie looks over at me and looks mad all of a sudden.
"What?!"
"What? I asked if you wanted to grab sushi!"
Oh crap, she did? Probably when I was busy stalking Thomas. "Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, sushi sounds great!"
She shook her head and let out a laugh before she grabbed her notebook and opened it up to some notes for math. "I have a few more problems, I did some this morning." She grabbed her textbook and opened it to the correct page and then turned to me, "oh how was church this morning? I kinda slept in."
I figured she did since she had a big party for her grandma's birthday the night before. "Oh, it was fine. My dad did pretty great."
"Yeah? I'm bummed I missed it. Definitely next week, though."
Sophie went back to doing her homework and I kind of just stared off into space for a bit.
I couldn't help, but think of that boy from church this morning. He looked lost. He looked mad. He looked hurt. But most of all he looked... hot. Ha. I know, you probably didn't expect me to say that, but I told ya, I'm just like a normal 17 year old girl.
And he was super hot.
But I've never seen him there before and I kind of just wanted to know what his deal was. Why he looked upset.
Whatever, I had homework that needed to be done.
