Author: HollyGolightly1985
Rating: M for language, adult situations and possible violence
Summary: Set 8 years after the events of 2x08. Elena, having started a new life in New York, is begrudgingly pulled back to Mystic Falls to support the union of two loved ones. D/E Pairing.
Disclaimer: I obviously own nothing. If I did EVERY episode would be full of Delena fluff!
Chapter 1: Invitation & Memories
With a heaving sigh Elena plopped down unceremoniously on her faded leather couch. She gazed down at the rather large pile of mail gathered in her lap with disdain. I really need to check the mail more often she thought as she began sorting the stack into two separate piles. Electric Bill, Cell Phone Bill, Credit Card offer, Coupons, Elle Magazine…What's this? She quirked a curious eyebrow at the large vanilla envelope. It clearly was a wedding invitation. She'd been invited to enough weddings in her time to recognize the distinctive envelopes by now. A small smile made its way across her face when she realized that she knew whose wedding invitation it was. Slipping her finger beneath the flap she quickly tore open the envelope and removed the delicate invitation. She read:
The honor of your presence is requested
At the marriage of
Miss Bonnie Anne Bennett
To
Mr. Jeremy Alan Gilbert
Friday, May 25th, 2018
First Congregational United Church of Christ
649 Mullberry Lane, Mystic Falls, VA
Reception to follow at the Lockwood Mansion
Leaning back further into the large cushion Elena picks the phone up from its base and punches in number one to speed dial. After several rings an excited voice finally answers.
"Elena! How are you sweetheart?"
"I'm fine, Bonnie. I'm calling because I just received your beautiful wedding invitation. They turned out really nicely. I'm glad you decided to go with the peacock colored theme rather than the maroon and black," Elena stood from the couch and headed into the kitchen to fix herself a cup of hot chocolate.
"Yeah, it was a hard decision to make. Especially considering I had no help whatsoever from my maid of honor/best friend/and future sister in law," Bonnie said rather pointedly. Elena sighed, feeling rather guilt ridden. Running a hand through her hair she took a calming breath before she spoke.
"You know I would give anything to be there for you in your time of need, Bonnie. I do feel so very awful that I've been M.I.A. while you've been planning this event on your own. You know I do. However, the show doesn't close for another two weeks. As soon as it does you know I'll be by your side to assist in whatever way I can. I promise you this, Bonnie… The moment I'm back in Mystic Falls you can use and abuse me in whatever capacity you so choose. I swear to lighten your burdens in any way that I can." Elena hoped that her solemn promise as an indentured servant would make up for all the missed appointments. She'd kept a running tally of what she had already missed out on. Bonnie had been sure to remind her of every missed occasion. So far she'd missed the bridal gown shopping, dress fittings, cake tasting, flower selections, music selections and many other wedding related tasks.
"Relax 'Lena. You know I was only joking. I know that musical theater is a demanding mistress. It's just that…Sometimes I wish I could tell the bitch to step off! I miss my best friend horribly. I know you're successful and garnering all this attention but I can't help but feel lonely without you sometimes," Bonnie confessed sounding melancholy.
"Oh Bonnie," Elena started "I know how hard my leaving has been on everyone. I really do. I don't want you to feel so blue. Especially with you impending nuptials on the horizon. Please put on a smile for me."
"I am happy Elena, really. I just can't wait to see you. Once I see the bright whites of your eyes standing here in front of me I will stop with the bitching and moaning. I swear. Now, let's please move on to a lighter subject," Elena could hear the smile in Bonnie's voice. "So when can we expect you here next month?"
"Well like I said earlier. The show ends its running in just two short weeks. So I won't be able to leave any sooner than that. However, looking at my planner now it looks like Saturday the 12th is the best and soonest option available," Elena grabbed a pen and scribbled the notation down in her planner. Picking up her cocoa, she headed back to the couch and sat down.
"That's great! I really can't wait to see you. I'm going let you go so I tell Jeremy to ready the guest bedroom," Bonnie squealed with excitement.
"It's okay Bonnie. I'm not even expected for another two and a half weeks," Elena laughed while she nursed her cocoa and began flipping through the latest edition of People Magazine. Wow, Kevin Bacon really is creepy looking, isn't he? She mused while she began ending her call.
"I know, I get carried away sometimes. Anyways, I'll chat with you later. Love you!"
"Love you too Bonnie. I'll see you in a few weeks," Elena hit the 'End' button and placed her phone back on the charger.
She put the magazine back down on the coffee table and picked up the invitation to examine it again. Studying the invitation and thinking about her impending trip back home only forced her to pull forth memories she had long ago buried. One specific memory pushed its way to the forefront of her brain no matter how hard she tried to repress it. It was the night she had decided to leave Mystic Falls.
Elena flipped the lights off in the bathroom, heading to her bedroom to turn in for the evening. Rounding the corner and entering her room she was instantly caught off guard by the sight of Damon sitting in her window seat.
With his eyes sweeping over her form he shot her a small smile, "Cute PJs." He was playing with something in his hands as he stared at her waiting for a reply.
Seeing him here in her room had thrown her for a loop. After the day she'd had the last thing she wanted to do was try to keep her feelings concerning him in check. Especially while he stood to bear witness as the emotions she tried to control flitted across her face. She was like an open book. Always had been. Swallowing back her nervousness she replied "I'm tired Damon."
He stood slowly and took a few steps towards her holding up the object he'd been toying with. It was her necklace, "I brought you this."
Her brow furrowed in confusion as she regarded the object, "I thought that was gone." She tried to think back to the evening's previous events. Had she noticed Damon's disappearance while he searched for her necklace. She honestly didn't remember. She'd been so caught up by Stefan's concern and emotions that she had hardly had time to focus her attention elsewhere.
Damon shook his head in response. "Thank you," she made a start for the necklace but he retracted his hand as soon as she reached for it. Dropping her hand she looked Damon in the face. What she saw there frightened her to her core. Never before had she seen such intensity in his baby blue eyes. It was like peering into the depths of once clear waters. The clarity had been muddled as the emotions waged their way into the clear recesses. They took over and turned the once bright blues into that of a storm. She knew whatever he was about to say was going to be a turning point in their relationship. She wasn't so sure she was ready to handle that after what she had been through in the past twenty four hours. She decided that evasive maneuvering was best at this point, "Please give it back."
Taking a breath Damon stepped forward into her personal space, "I just have to say something."
She mentally shook her head 'no' repeatedly. This can't be happening right now. She wasn't ready to admit to herself much less to Damon what she was, no, had been feeling for him all this time. She knew sooner or later she'd have to face the reality that he'd been right all those nights ago. She had been lying to everyone. Especially herself. However, panic set in in her current situation. Steeling herself for what was coming she took a shuddering breath in, "Why do you have to say it with my necklace?"
"Well," he's temporarily stunned by her question, "because what I'm about to say is…probably the most selfish thing I've ever said in my life." He gave her a tight smile trying to gauge her reaction.
Full on panic and desperation where instilled in her now. "Damon, don't go there," she warned him.
He stepped into her personal bubble once again, forcing her to take several steps back, "I just have to say it once. You just need to hear it."
She looked up into his eyes ready to break at what she saw there. He was imploring her to understand and accept his words with his eyes. His eyes were so expressive that way. She was bursting at the seams with such turmoil, guilt, hope, apprehension and an unnamed emotion that she felt she would cry looking into his honest face.
"I love you Elena," he admitted. Her eyes widened when he actually uttered the words and her body felt as though it were falling away from her. Her heart was pounding so loudly that she just knew he must certainly hear it. When she thought she couldn't handle much more he continued, "And it's because I love you that… I can't be selfish with you. Why you can't know this."
Elena's eyes widened further at those words. Realization settled in. He was going to compel her. She wasn't so sure she wanted to forget his confession. She hadn't had nearly enough time to properly deal with it in the short amount of time that he'd been here. Then she remembered she wouldn't forget. When she'd returned home earlier that evening she'd had some chamomile tea laced with vervain fearing that the disappearance of her necklace would make her more vulnerable to any impending threat. She was about to tell him as much when he stopped her, "I don't deserve you. But my brother does."
Her mind reeled at his suggestion. Was Stefan more deserving than Damon of her love? Her rational mind told her 'Of course he is more deserving. He's the good brother. He's always been there for you and has been a constant source of comfort. Stefan hasn't done the bad things that Damon has.' She felt like telling her inner voice to can it. Sure Damon had his discrepancies but he was a better person now. He had really started on a path to redemption, it had seemed. 'That is, until he snapped Jeremy's neck' her mind whispered. She wanted to scream at the warring voices in her head but Damon's soft lips pressed on her forehead seemed to do the trick. Looking up at him nervously she waited for his next move.
"God I wish you didn't have to forget this," he whispered sadly as he pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. He had a determined look on his face as he spoke, "But you do." A single, lone tear rolled down his right cheek and landed on her bare arm. Never before had she seem him in such a state of vulnerability. She wanted to cry for the man before her. Surely he must know how this was tearing her up inside just as much. She was about to make a move to wipe the tear away but in the blink of an eye he was gone.
She felt a heavy presence on her chest now. Looking down she saw her necklace had been placed back on her where it always sat. Lifting the object she peered down at it as her mind continued to race. Her mind was far to jumbled to process anything. Such much emotional baggage had been thrust upon her all within the span of three minutes. Her head was spinning. Shifting to sit on the corner of her bed she tried to find a place where she could start to untangle these thoughts.
Damon loved her. That much she'd known ever since Isobel had told her. Did she love Damon? She honestly didn't know the answer to that. So much about him infuriated her and yet so much about him also intrigued her. She knew that she valued their relationship so much so that she's already forgiven him for the incident with Jeremy. The truth was that she'd understood his actions that night. He was unstable to begin with but when a bitchy ex and alcohol are added to the mix, he was volatile. She could forgive him his trespasses as long as he found a way back to his humanity that he had begun to discover again. Her mind temporarily switched gears as she pictured Stefan's face.
With a groan she flopped back down on her bed and stared up at the ceiling. Stefan was the perfect boyfriend. He was kind, gentle, smart, caring and always reliable. She felt safe with him. However, that was the nagging thought that had been plaguing her mind for some time now. He was safe. Safe was boring. She hated to admit it but things had really cooled down for them since the arrival of Katherine. They hadn't made love in over a month. Of course now that they were broken up it wasn't really a problem. However, when they had been together it hadn't been…passionate. Her mind wondered back to the early days of their relationship when he had uttered that same phrase to describe her previous relationship with Matt. How quickly things had changed. She loved Stefan and always would but a huge part of her was screaming at her that she just wasn't in love with him anymore. Sadly, she accepted this admission and rolled on her side, peering out her window.
"When did life become so complicated?" she posed to no one in particular.
"From day one," Jenna appeared in her doorway. "It wouldn't be much of a life if things came so easily to you, would it?"
"No, I guess not. However, it would be nice to be thrown a bone every once in a while," Elena sat up as Jenna approached her bed and tentatively sad on the corner.
"You want to talk about it?"
"Not really, Jenna. I just…Ugh! I don't feel comfortable in my own skin anymore! I have all these conflicting emotions and a million different thoughts racing through my head. I've never had a panic attack before but I think that I can safely say that I'm having a full blown one now," Elena stood up and paced the floor back and forth in front of her bed. Hands on her hips she looked at Jenna in desperation.
"Whoa, whoa honey. It's alright, just take a deep breath," Jenna stopped her movements by placing both hands on her shoulders. " What's happened? Honestly? I can't help you if I don't know what the problem is, now can I?"
"I'm just…It's just that…Well, recently," she started but failed to find the right words for what she wanted to say. 'Best to just get it out there' she thought. She just blurted out, "I'm not in love anymore!"
"Okay. That's okay, Elena. Now what makes you think you don't love Stefan anymore?", she sat them both back down on the edge of the bed.
"I don't think it, I know it Jenna! I do love Stefan but I'm not in love with him. I feel just awful. I'm a terrible person. What am I doing?"
"You're not a terrible person Elena. You can't help the way you feel. You are entitled to feel whatever you want to feel. Nobody can force themselves to feel something that's not there. Have you talked to Stefan about this?"
"No!," Elena raised her voice as her eyes widened. "It would break him if I told him. I can't face him Aunt Jenna. What am I going to do?"
"You're going to calm down, number one. Number two, you have to talk to him about your feelings Elena. It's not fair to lead him on or let him believe in something that doesn't exist," Jenna gave her a meaningful look while rubbing soothing circles into her back.
"I know, I should really talk to him. I just…Ugh! I don't think I can face him. Or his stupid brother for that reason!" Elena had stood back up and was once again wearing down the floor with her constant pacing.
"Hey, look at me Elena," Elena turned to her with expectant eyes. "Now you are beginning to work yourself up again. You have got to calm down. Honestly, I think there is much more to the story than you are telling me. Something has definitely got you all worked up. Now what were you mentioning about his 'stupid brother'? Why can't you face Damon?" She gave Elena a pointed look.
"Please don't push this Jenna," Elena begged. "I'm not ready to talk about it. I wish I could just get away for a while. You know? Pack up and go to a deserted island somewhere and live out my days with a hunky grape smuggler and an endless supply of Tequila."
"Honey, we all want that. I've had to urge to run myself many times before. It's why I've never been good at the whole relationship thing. Trust me, the fight or flight response never goes away. Sooner or later you just learn to deal with it. Life is scary, Elena. But you'll never get far without taking chances or turning your tail and fleeing in the other direction." Jenna gave her a soft smile, imparting her knowledge on to her niece.
"Maybe…" Elena's mind began to wonder. "What if I chose the flight option, Jenna? What if I chose to run away from all of this?"
"What are you talking about honey? You're starting to sound hysterical and you're really worrying me," Jenna's tone had a slight edge of panic in it as she stared wide eyed at Elena.
"California, Jenna. I could go to California for my senior year and live with our cousin, Carly?" Elena's voice took on the slight edge of hope as she began to bounce a little in her spot.
"No, Elena. Absolutely not," Jenna stood to exit her niece's room but stopped at the door facing her.
"Why not Jenna? It's what I want and I would hope that you could respect my wishes!"
"And I would hope that you would respect me as your legal guardian when I say no. Carly is not e quipped to take care of a teenage girl," Jenna scoffed at the very idea that their flighty cousin could take on such responsibility.
"Aunt Jenna all I'm asking is that you consider it, please?" Elena begged and pleaded with her best puppy dog eyes. "Please Jenna. I've never wanted anything so much in my entire life. I can't stand it here, in Mystic Falls anymore. I've never felt more alienated from a place before. I promise I'll come back for summers, breaks and any other time you ask me to."
"Elena, we'll talk about it in the morning. That is my final word on the subject for tonight," with that Jenna closed Elena's door and padded off to her own room to retire for the night.
The next morning was a Saturday, fortunately for Elena. She could have the whole weekend to decide her next move if the whole California thing didn't pan out. She contemplated all of this as she poured herself a bowl of Capt N' Crunch. Plopping down at the counter she stared out the window and into the day's sunlight. She heard the sounds of footsteps traipsing down the stairs as she quietly ate her cereal.
"Good morning," Jenna said lightly as she went to pour herself a cup of the coffee Elena had made earlier.
"Morning, Jenna," she shoveled another spoonful of cereal into her mouth and wiped the corner of her mouth with her napkin. "What are your plans today? Are you getting together with Alaric?"
"Yeah, later on. I'm going to need his truck for the ride to the airport," Jenna turned around from the coffee pot and looked expectantly at Elena.
"The airport?," Elena asked hopefully. Had her prayers been answered. Was God throwing her the proverbial bone?
"Yes, Elena the airport. I've made my decision and I think California might be a good change of scene for you. Elena, I don't agree with the way that you are leaving things with Stefan but if it's what you want than who am I to argue? I do have a few stipulations though so let's get them out in the open. You will spend all breaks, holidays and other appropriately deemed occasions here in Mystic Falls. You will call me at least twice a week and tell me how you're doing in your new school. Furthermore, you will maintain a GPA of at least 3.5 or else you're coming straight home. Do I make myself clear?" Jenna was holding back tears as she rambled off the ground rules to Elena. She didn't want to lose her niece so soon. However, she did feel it was the right thing to do in the end. She had seen how depressed Elena had been since the loss of her parents. For a while she had hoped that Stefan would soon remedy her of her sadness. However, now that they were broken up she didn't want Elena regressing to her old state of depression.
"Oh Aunt Jenna thank you so much! I'm going to do all of those things and I promise to call at least four times a week!" Elena threw her arms around Jenna and bounced them both up and down.
"I'm going to miss you so much sweetheart. What will I do without you? I'll be all alone with Alaric and Jeremy! You'd better hurry home for Christmas!"
After the details had been sorted out the plane ticket was purchased for the following day, Sunday. Elena had made speedy work of packing up her valuables and possessions. Anything she had forgotten would be left in her room for her future visits. Elena took one last sweeping gaze over her room to see if she had forgotten anything. She turned to leave but caught her reflection in the mirror. Mostly she noticed the offending piece of jewelry that brought on thoughts she'd much rather push aside. Walking over to her dresser she removed the necklace and placed it carefully on top before quickly turning and walking out her bedroom for that last time in what would be quite a while.
"You ready?" Alaric asked as she trudged downstairs with her duffle bag slung over her right shoulder. She looked up to meet his gaze.
"Yeah I think I got everything. Alaric?" She asked nervously. "You'll make sure not to tell them where I am right?"
"Yes, Elena. I promise I'll keep it a secret. I still am not sure I understand the whole situation but I will respect your wishes and privacy."
"Thanks Ric," she smiled sweetly. "I knew my aunt kept you around for a reason."
"Yes it's my ability to keep many things a secret that has swept your aunt off of her feet. Well that and my dashing good looks!" He laughed as he took the duffle from Elena and placed it in the back of his truck.
"Whatever, Ric." Elena laughed as she buckled herself in. Hearing the truck roar to life she sat back and gazed out at the scenery flashing by as they headed to their destination.
Hope you all liked this first chapter. I know it's kind of a long one. I promise most chapters won't be this long. Please read and review. Constructive criticism is always welcome but flames just hurt the soul ;)
