I bit my lip slightly as I tried to think of the best way to phrase 'were murdered violently' without sounding too graphic. I had been working on my next article. 'Synth Slaughters Settlers!" Mmm… maybe I should change the title too. It was too much of a tongue twister, but that was beside the point. I wanted to warn people, not scare them. A synth had appeared at Spectacle island and killed nearly everyone. It was a Gen. 1 but still just as dangerous. There wasn't many people living on the small spot of land to begin with but Nick Valentine ended up being the only survivor seeing as he shot the synth down. I didn't know anyone who died but I grieved nonetheless. I was relieved Nick had come out on top. Everyone I knew, Cait, Macready, hell even Strong had been here with me at Sanctuary at the time.
Most often than not Blue kept any of us that were willing to travel with them at Sanctuary. Nick was only at the island because the two of them had recently helped with a raider attack. One of the residents was accidentally hit in the cross fires by Nick and he insisted on staying until they got better. Blue stayed with Nick for a day before they heard that another settlement was under attack over Radio Freedom. That was when they parted ways. Afterwards, a small synth hysteria broke out amongst the settlements. Everyone became increasingly suspicious of everyone, thinking that they had been replaced by a synth. Even Nick, who couldn't hurt a fly, received accusations of working for the institute. It took vast amounts of persuasion on Blue's part to convince anyone otherwise. Thankfully, the fact that Nick clearly looked like a synth became a sort of comfort to most people. He wasn't trying to fool anyone and eventually they let him into Sanctuary…not necessarily with open arms but still.
Blue had spread their services amongst the commonwealth rather thin. They had joined the Brotherhood, The Railroad, and the Minutemen. However, they mostly did work for settlements and took on a few odd jobs for the Brotherhood. Blue would constantly tell me that they wished they could do more for the Railroad but could never find the time to take on too much from them. And seeing as the Railroad was at the bottom of their list, jobs for them were often put on the back burner. I would never say Blue was a synth hater. They loved Nick and they had offered to help Curie become one. However, that had not yet come to pass and Blue urged her to hold off on that plan until the synth frenzy died down. But Blue wasn't exactly a Synth lover either. They had their suspicions as much as anyone else did and they became paranoid every once in a while but they always kept a cool head and never acted out.
Even though Blue was just as scared as anyone else they wanted people to feel safe. They came to me and asked if I could write an article. "Something that will put people's minds at ease but still inform them of what happened" as they put it. Unfortunately, I found this to be quite difficult. I could definitely 'inform them' no problem but how am I suppose to put people's minds at rest when I couldn't even put my own. The institute was 'the boogeyman of the commonwealth' and no matter how much we wanted to just pretend everything was fine they did pose a great threat. Synths were a threat.
"How's that article going, Piper?" I jumped at the sudden sound but relaxed at the familiar voice.
"Hey Nick." With everyone so panicked, Nick had become rather limited in his friendly interactions. I had known Nick for years. When I had first moved to Diamond city I was scared and unsure of what to do. He had helped me find a place to live, even let Nat and I spend a few nights at his agency until we did. He became a sort of parental figure to me and it was him that gave me the final kick of inspiration I needed to start up the paper. When I did, I…Well I wasn't exactly the most liked in Diamond City anymore. But Nick stood by me. He remained my friend through thick and thin. Now the tables were turned and there was no way I was going to turn my back on him just because he was a synth. That didn't matter. Nick was my friend. He was the one friend I trusted most. Well, besides Blue, but we weren't exactly friends.
"Eh, it's going…well going nowhere, if that counts." He laughed hollowly.
"Too hard to lie?"
"What? No. I know all synths aren't bad. I mean there's you and—" I couldn't think of any other synths that I knew. I understood that the railroad helped those who rebelled against the institute but I had yet to see them.
"It's okay, Piper. Don't strain yourself." I looked down a little disappointed. I wanted to cheer him up. He had gone through so much recently.
"Hey Nick…" I said slowly lifting my head up and swirling my wobbly office chair to turn to him.
"Yea?"
"I just—I want you to know that I don't care." He looked at me a bit confused and I added,
"That you're a synth."
"Oh" His mouth turned down and I was afraid I said something wrong.
"It's not a bad thing. You are who you are and you wouldn't be you if you weren't and I think you is a good you." I stopped talking and realized my words made absolutely no sense.
"Uggh… All i'm trying to say is I care about you. You're my best friend." I gave him a sad smile and he returned it as he walked up to me to pull me into a hug. Nick looked to his left and then to his right.
"So where's your sweetheart? I got a circuit board they said they needed."
"Hardy har har." I pushed his shoulder slightly at his teasing. Blue and I had been together several months now. There were no doubts in my mind. I loved blue with all my heart and we had even had brief conversations of having more of a future together…whatever that might mean with a life in the commonwealth. It never lacked for excitement.
"Umm. I'm actually not sure. I think they went off on some mission with Danse for the Brotherhood. But Just put it on the counter there and I'll make sure they get it." I pointed to the little island in our kitchen. I giggled quietly to myself at that. 'Our'. I was still getting used to it. People kind of slept wherever they could find an available bed at Sanctuary. But it was sort of an unspoken rule not to go into the house of the former Vault Dweller. It was done more so out of respect than anything else. After all, Blue had done so much for everyone. I, however, was the exception. It was only about two weeks ago since Blue had asked me to move in with them. I gladly agreed. I remember Blue trying to be romantic and carry me across the threshold but they accidentally banged my head against the wall. The action was followed by nonstop apologies and I had to kiss them to get them to shut up. That night Blue made sure I was quite familiar with the house. Even gave me a tour that ended in the bedroom. We decided that one of these days we had to bring Nat down to Sanctuary to live with us, if not right away.
Nick uttered his farewell and left me to continue writing. I started power working and eventually I was abled to zone out the rest of the world. I only broke focus when I heard yelling outside. I got up from the terminal Blue had set up for me when I moved in and headed to the door. I poked my head out and looked around to see what was going on. Danse was back and he stood in the middle of the street with a crowd forming in front of him. Where was Blue? Marcy seemed to be yelling about how she "knew it the whole time" and that "It needs to be put down." I stepped out and closed the door behind me. One of the younger female settlers I didn't know the name of looked at me and ran into the crowd. I walked towards the group myself. No one had noticed me come join the back.
"There is no need to panic. I simply need to find the synth and detain it until Knight Conlin arrives." Synth? I twitched a little out of fear and pulled out my pistol. I scanned the area in case I was able to spot it.
"Where is the General?" I heard preston ask in a yell over the loud murmurs of the crowd. Danse didn't respond for a moment as he used his hands to try and quiet everyone.
"They went to retrieve supplies. For what? I'm not quite sure. But trust me. Knight Conlin knows what they are doing and will end this."
"How do you know that?" Marcy asked. "What if the synth got to them?"
"I assure you that is not true. Now alert me immediately if the synth is spotted. It is most likely that it may have run if it knew we had discovered its secret." Discovered its secret? Did that mean a synth had been living amongst us? This wasn't some Gen. 1 that had wandered too far then.
"There! I saw it!" The young settler I saw not a moment ago spoke up. I raised my gun ready to shoot if necessary. The girl pointed in my direction and I turned around to see if it was behind me. There was no one there. I turned back around. Everyone had scattered to the sides. Danse raised his gun…At me. I took a few steps back confused at first.
"Lets not make this any harder than it needs to be. Come quietly, synth." He gritted his teeth at his last word. I turned my head once again to look behind me. He had to be talking to someone else.
"Don't be stupid, Piper." Not someone else. Me.
"What? No! I'm not a synth!" I yelled hoping to knock some sense into him. I would know if I was a synth. I was sure of it.
"Don't play coy with me. We found your record S1-85" Shit. This wan't happening. They got it all wrong. They made a mistake. I wanted to explain to them but I could only manage to repeat myself.
"I'm not a synth!" I glanced around and swear I saw a flash of blue briefly by our house before my eyes flicked over to Nick. His face was expressionless as he stared directly at me. I directed my attention back to Danse.
"This doesn't make any sense. I don't know what you're talking about." Danse walked towards me and I found no use in running. If I did he surely would have shot me down."
"On your knees Synth!" At first I didn't do anything but he used his rifle to nudge me in the stomach succeeded by a kick to the shin causing me to fall onto my knees. I dropped my pistol in the fall. He pressed his gun to my head and I looked up at him, my eyes pleading.
"Please, Danse. Don't kill me." He increased his pressure of the end of his rifle against me before saying,
"That's not my job. Those orders fall to someone else." As soon as he finished I shut my eyes tight and tried not to break down. He meant Blue. Blue was ordered to kill me. They wouldn't would they? No. Definitely not…unless they truly believed I had been replaced by an institute synth. We remained motionless for several moments until I heard a voice I knew all to well. I opened my eyes and my heart sank. Blue stood next Danse with their gun pointed at me.
"At ease Danse. Thank you."
"Of course soldier." I saw Blue nod in acknowledgment. Their face was heavy and held hints of fear and sadness. I wanted to speak up. Assure them it was okay, that I wasn't a synth. I opened my mouth but before I could even let a word out Blue stopped me.
"Shut up!" I nearly cried as they yelled at me. Blue had never yelled at me. They grabbed my arm harshly and pulled. "On your feet!" Blue led me into our house with Danse in pursuit. As we got to the door we stopped.
"If it's alright i'd like to do this alone, Paladin." Danse nodded.
"I understand this is hard for you soldier. Take your time." With that he turned and left as Blue shut the door, still holding onto my arm. Before they had their gun against my back but when the door shut they let up.
"Knees… Now. On the floor." They pointed with their gun to the middle of the room.
"Blue…" I was scared. I had no idea what was going on.
"Shhh!" They hushed me harshly as they fiddled with their Pip-boy. They raised their gun idly to remind me to get down. I did. I didn't know what else to do.
"Bravo, come in Bravo. This is Foxtrot reporting in." Blue spoken into their Pip-boy. They had a radio connection with someone I could only assume was from the Brotherhood.
"This is Bravo. What is your report?"
"Synth is in custody. Execution to be followed swiftly." I began to panic at these words and felt my body start to tremble.
"Blue!" I screamed. I wasn't exactly sure what I hoped for. Maybe the chance to convince them I wasn't a synth. Blue jolted over and placed a hand over my mouth tightly. I tried to calm my breathing. Blue was kneeling next to me and waited.
"Stand-by. Waiting your confirm." When the voice stopped they released their hand and I started breathing heavily but I didn't dare speak up again. Blue walked over to their duffle that sat on the kitchen table and pulled out several blood bags. They placed them, all stacked on top of each other in two piles, next to me. I wasn't sure what they were doing but I was so caught up in the fact that the person I love was about to kill me that I didn't pay much attention.
"Awaiting your confirm." The radio crackled again. Blue took out their gun and slowly, almost agonizingly, loaded a new round. They raised it and I shut my eyes preparing for the worst. Two gunshots rang out sharply. My breathing had gone silent and my shaking ceased.
"Confirmed. Over and out." The radio shut off with a turn of a knob. Hands cradled my motionless face and a kiss was placed on my forehead. I opened my eyes. I was alive. Blue hadn't shot me, they had never planned to. I wanted to say something but I was interrupted yet again by Blue.
"Shhh. We have to be quiet okay?" This time their voice was a lot gentler. I nodded, completely shocked and unsure what to think. Blue leaned down and picked up the empty plastic bags from the floor. They had shot the two piles.
"Blue. What's going on?" My voice cracked unintentionally and I tried to stop myself from becoming a blubbering mess.
" loud" They whispered at me. "Everything will be alright. Trust me. I'll explain everything soon. Just not here okay?"
"Okay." I swallowed hard and tried to distract myself by counting the various lines across the ceiling. I hadn't moved from the spot Blue had told me to go to. I might not have ever moved if they didn't say,
"Take off your clothes."
"What?" They didn't reply and merely threw me a flannel shirt and a pair of jeans. They crouched down and slowly went out the side door of the house. I started to change as they dragged in a tarp. There was something in it though. I almost gasped in surprise but I clasped my hand hard over my mouth. Blue had taken the tarp off to show what I thought to be a raider they had wrapped up. The raider was female. They had roughly the same exact hair color as me and was similar in structure. The only thing was, you couldn't even tell they had a face. I don't know if Blue did it or someone else but the raider had been shot twice and their features were unrecognizable. Blue had already stripped them of their clothes and were in nothing but their underwear. No doubt they had done this quickly when I thought I saw them at the house. I had taken off my usual clothes and was pulling the flannel over my head as Blue quickly dressed the body in my red trench coat. They dragged the body carefully over to where they had made blood splatters and rested the raiders head in the center of the mess. When that was done they took my hat and placed it slightly above the body as if it had fallen off in my 'demise'.
"Stay here." Blue left the room, careful to not let anyone see inside. I crept quietly to the door and pressed my ear against it. I couldn't hear anything save muffled voices. One of which being Blues and the other Danse's. A minute or two passed before I heard footsteps and backed away from the door while Blue came inside. Blue glanced at their Pip-boy nervously before turning to me.
"We have about thirty minutes until the brotherhood comes to collect your body." Blue Picked up their bag from the table and walked to the side door.
"Follow me" They said before quickly darting out the side of building. I tried to keep up as best I could. It was rather easy though since we stopped between every building to make sure no one was looking. Eventually we got to a hatch in the ground behind one of the houses. I briefly wondered how I had never noticed it before. I wondered if anyone else knew about it. Blue quickly ushered me inside. Once they closed the hatch they looked right at me.
"Okay." They took a deep breath and waited for me to react before continuing. I looked around and saw a set of power armor with the brotherhood insignia painted on it. There was also a lot of cans with bullet holes in them. Thousands of questions ran through my head. Mostly why people would think I was a synth. But also things like why the Brotherhood wanted me dead or how Blue was able to plan all this so quickly. Instead of actually asking any of these things however, I ran into Blue and wrapped my arms around them tightly. Blue returned the hug and whispered into my ear,
"It's okay. I got you." They held me for another minute before glancing at their wrist. They sighed and let me go.
"Piper I—I need you to understand." I watched them in confusion as they pulled a holotape out from their pocket. Blue had me sit down on the bed as they popped it into their pip-boy and hit play.
"Audio log one. This is…Well I don't know. S1-85? Not exactly a name…" My brow narrowed. I didn't recognize the voice but it sounded familiar.
"I am escaping from the institute. Father may want to improve the commonwealth but I can't sit idly by while people are torn from their homes, their loved ones, their family. This isn't right. Not to mention we're all treated like slaves. I want to take more synths with me but many are too scared or ill-programmed to do so. So it's just me." This didn't mean anything. So a synth was escaping. That didn't mean it was me. There was a small pause before the tape started up again.
"Audio log two. I made it. I managed to hack the relay for a short amount of time. Not exactly sure where I am. Note: the surface is far more destroyed than I suspected. Still better." The woman paused as if she was thinking.
"I don't know where to go. I'm alone." The tape crackled and paused again. My expression fell and I rested my head in my hands and ran them across my face slowly.
"Audio log three. Was attacked by a courser today. Barely escaped with my life. Damaged my left hand severely. Lost all motor functions. Will need some sort of repair soon if I'm to carry on." The voiced sighed. "I'm not sure I even should at this point." More silence.
"I've heard rumors of a group called the railroad that is suppose to help synths with cases like mine. Decided to seek them out. Not sure where to start. Only clue: Follow the Freedom Trail. There is a possibility this is referring to the Boston Common. Will see." I raised my left hand slightly and moved my fingers around. For a long time I had noticed I had more difficulty grabbing or typing with this hand. Occasionally I'd even get trigger finger and i'd hit my hand against my desk or the closest surface in order to 'wake it up'. I clenched my hand into a fist. It meant nothing.
"Audio log four."
"Eyyy! Audio log cool, cool." A male voice had interrupted and spoke in the background of the tape.
"Let's just record the whole meeting." The voice said.
"Okay." The woman responded without arguing. "Isn't that to far aw—" The voices became inaudible and muffled. I looked up slightly panicked. It had to continue. A minute passed before I heard slight scratching of the tape as if the recorder was being moved.
"Testing 123 testing" The male voice said with a laugh.
"—glad you came to us." A woman's voice came into focus mid sentence. It wasn't the same one. A member of the railroad? "You should take her to bunker hill. See old man Stockton."
"Des, If I can interrupt. I might have an easy fix.'
"Go ahead Deacon." Deacon? I knew that name. Blue had mentioned them. I had never met him though… At least I think.
"You know that reporter in Diamond City?" I froze and held my breath.
"Publick Occurrences. Yes, I know the one. Quite liberal. Works nicely in our favor."
"Well bad news. Now, I wasn't there but I came across a group of raiders. Shot them down. No worries. But I found her body. Bullet to the heart. Probably was out chasing some story." I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. I buried my head in my hands and rocked slightly back and forth. No no no. This isn't happening. The tape stopped. I jerked my head up. Blue had paused the recording.
"I don't have to play the rest." Blue said sadly as they watched my face. I hated absolutely everything I was hearing but I need to finish it.
"Please" I managed to choke out. Blue nodded before hitting play again.
"My plan: Have Sibs here replace the reporter. Sibby gets to be safe, paper keeps going, everybody's happy."
"I'm sorry, Sibby?"
"Yea! S1-85. Ya know S and then the one kind of looks like an i and the eight kind of looks like—"
"Okay, I get it. Doesn't matter much. It'll change. What was the reporter's name?"
"Uh, Piper I think."
"I'm not sure about this Deacon. Right in Diamond City. It's a bit risky."
"It'll be fine. I already brought the body here—"
"You what?"
"What? We live in a crypt!…No one else knew about her death. The raiders are dead. It's a clean job."
"Maybe." The man sighed before lowering his voice slightly and saying,
"Look, I probably should have started with this. The reporter has a kid sister. Young. Now the girl's only remaining family member just died. If we don't…This girl will be alone."
"No one deserves to be alone." The woman, S1-85, interrupted.
"Are you okay with this? This is risky. We can just find somewhere else?" 'Des' asked.
"Yes. I wish to help. With the paper and the girl. No one deserves to be alone." She repeated.
"Okay…Change of plans. Deacon. You'll escort her to see Dr. Amari in Goodneighbor. Bring the body. See if she can transfer any memories instead of fabricating new ones. We have to make this as realistic as possible."
"Got it."
"Are you recording this? Shut that—" The tape cut off and all that remained was static. Blue shut it off and took it out. They stared at me, waiting. For a long time I didn't say or do anything. I didn't react. My face became emotionless and cold.
"Why didn't you kill me?" each word came out like a dagger.
"You weren't working with the 're a run-away. No matter how much I try and convince people they won't believe though. Everyone is too paranoid. Our only choice is to escape. But I won't let anyone hurt you. I promise. I know you don't mean any harm."
"Does that matter? I'm still a synth that replaced Piper. You should be angry! Yell at me!" I stood up as I ordered and barked at Blue. I wanted them to lash out. I didn't deserve the nice treatment they gave. Blue took several steps back as I took several steps forward yelling. I wasn't sure what I was yelling anymore. I think it was to kill me. Maybe not. Blue reached out to try and touch me.
"Piper…" I think that's when I fully lost it. I broke down crying. Blue instantly tried to pull me into an embrace and I tried to push them away, get them away from me. How dare I go by that name and just pretend to be her.
"Don't! Don't call me that! I'm not—I'm no one."
"Piper…" They tried again.
"No!"
"Piper! Stop!" They yelled at me and I froze. I stopped fighting their grip and let them pull me in.
"Breathe."
"What's the point?"
"The point is that it keeps you alive." They let go of me as I tried too calm down.
"Why do you care? I-I'm not…her." I looked down at the floor. Part of me hoped if I stared long enough it would just swallow me up. Blue fumbled with their pocket again and re-pulled out the holotape. They held it up so I could look at it. Scrawled on the label in pen was '2283'.
"Five years. Maybe a little more." Blue stuffed the tape back into their pocket before continuing.
"I never met her. I met you." Five years. I closed my eyes. That was really all that had been real? I remembered everything. I remembered the first time I held my baby sister in my arms. I remembered the first time I tried chems and got caught so my dad grounded me for a month…I remembered the moment I discovered that my dad had died. It hurt so much. How could that not be real? Those were her memories not mine. What was real? The last five years. What's happened in the last five years? Not much. I had mostly lived out an ordinary life, living day to day. Oh! I did manage to get myself kicked of Diamond City. I was lousy at being human apparently. If it wasn't for Blue they might not have let me back in. Blue was real. The last year, the year we had spent together, that was real. I At least had that. Something to hold onto. I felt a hand on my cheek and I opened my eyes. I placed my hand over theirs. I only let seconds go by however, before I pushed their hand away.
"So? What's your point. That you suck at telling synths and humans apart." My voice was low and it was easy to tell just how depressed I was. Like a kickball without air. Blue shot me an angry look. It was actually a look of sadness but anger was worn like a mask. They repeated themselves.
"I never met her. I met you. My point is that you're your own person. Yes, you aren't her. But that's because you're you. And I love you. I fell for you. Not anyone else."
"A synth?"
"Yes!"
"You can't fall in love with a synth, Blue." I finished quietly and avoided their gaze. Tears pricked at my eyes again. If I wasn't human than why do all these emotions hurt so much? Blue looked at their Pip-Boy once more. I could see the pain plastered across their face.
"Look…" they paused and thought carefully.
"Do you love me?"
"I don't think that was something they programmed." I said sarcastically.
"Regardless. Do you love me?" I met their eyes. I hadn't realized how scared they were. Like they actually weren't sure of what i'd say.
"Do you even have to ask. Of course I do, Blue." I saw them sigh in relief.
"Then…Believe what you want right now. Believe I could never love you. Fine. I will prove it to you. But if you love me, trust me. Can you do that?" I wasn't exactly sure what I was agreeing to but I guess that was part of 'having trust'. Blue was smart, trusting them was easy. I nodded.
"I trust you." Their eyes flickered to the arm again. "What are you looking at?" I gestured to the device on their arm.
"Brotherhood sonar. Waiting. When the Brotherhood gets here is when we leave."
"Like I said, I trust you. But Isn't it smarter to get out before then?"
"No. Leaving now may be easier but leaving then will give us more time. If I just disappeared out of nowhere they'd be on our tails fast. This way, it'll take a while before they realize what's up."
"I guess that makes sense."
"You see that power armor." Blue pointed behind me to the hunk of metal that stood awkwardly in the corner. I felt my stomach drop.
"Blue, you know I can't work that thing." I had only ever been in a suit of power armor once before when I accompanied Blue to the glowing sea. And lets just say that was a disaster. I couldn't control the limbs very well, I had a hard time seeing, and I found it nearly impossible to hold any sort of gun. It was so bad that at one point I just kept walking into a wall over and over again. Despite Blue's attempt at directing me I just couldn't get use to the bulk and underestimated the required space to turn. It was rather embarrassing but it led to my first kiss with Blue. I could remember it as if it was yesterday.
—
I had started to panic a little. After an encounter with a deathclaw that hit my armor and bent it inward, I began to feel rather claustrophobic.
"At this point, getting flooded with rads sounds great right about now. I swear this thing is closing in on me." I nearly got out of my armor right then and there. I would have, if not for Blue. They coaxed—no. Begged me to keep it on while we were still in the glowing sea. I reluctantly agreed and Blue kept me grounded. They continuously rambled on about something extremely boring to try and distract me. The evolution of the names of fruit I think. How 'tatos' used to be 'tomatoes' and 'mutfruit' is essentially just a 'blueberry.' I had to tease them on the last one. Sometimes i'd forget that 'blue' is just a color and i'd giggle or blush every time i'd hear it. Eventually, I started to moan and complain.
"Oh god, I think my ears are dying of boredom." Blue just laughed and smiled before changing it to something more interesting: Comics. After a slightly heated debate over which one of Grognak's enemies is the strongest, we had not only left the irradiated sand pit of death but had made it to a nearby settlement, Somerville. This came as a shock to me. How could one person distract me so much that I didn't even remember where I was.
"No no no. Blue! The release broke when that asshole deathclaw slammed in to me! " And as if I had never stopped, panic overtook me. I absolutely hated the feeling of being trapped in metal. Little did I know at the time that what I was feeling would stick with me like a bad taste in my mouth. Constantly mocking me while I pretended it wasn't true.
"Shhhh…Calm down. It's alright. I got you." Blue was gentle as they came around behind me to manually release its hold using the wheel and occasionally trying to bend back some of the damaged metal with their hand. As soon as I felt the icey cold air prick against the bare skin of my neck I jolted back and accidentally collided my body with another's. Quickly turning around, I came face to face with Blue. Our noses were practically touching and I stood trapped between them and the metal death trap I had managed to escape from. Without taking a step back Blue looked me in the eyes and said,
"I won't let anyone or anything hurt you. I promise you that." I gave them a look of admiration and affection. Blue's eyes scanned my face and they held a look of longing.
"God, You're beautiful." They said inching slightly closer and lifting their hand to run their knuckles softly across my cheek. The sudden intimacy made me nervous and like an idiot I looked down at my feet. Blue got the message I wasn't trying to send and stepped back. They mumbled an apology and turned to head inside the small building on the lot. Probably to go forget this ever happened.
"W-wait Blue!" I'd be lying to myself if I said I never thought about Blue that way. Not that I'm always thinking that way…ah hell, who am I kidding. Yes I do. In the small amount of months I had known Blue I had fallen hard. And i'd be damned if I let my fear and insecurities take away this window. I had never been a relatively brave or intrepid girl but I alway played that part while going around interviewing people. Deep inside, I'm completely and utterly terrified of the world and all the trials and challenges it holds. Confessing love to Blue however… might have been the hardest thing to put into words.
So I didn't.
Blue stopped when they heard me yell. They barely had time to completely face me before I ran up to them and crashed my lips against theirs. At first I felt no reaction from their end and I was scared I had made a terrible mistake. Blue was incredible. I'd rather have them as a friend than not at all. I pulled back as nothing continued to happen. The vault dweller's bright blue eyes that matched the color of their jumpsuit were wide and shocked. Their jaw slacked and was held slightly open as their breathing sped up.
"I'm Sorry!" I spit out loudly. "I shouldn't have done that." Blues eyes flickered back and forth all over my face.
"I-I just. I care about you Bl—" Blue lurched forward and grabbed the collar of my coat before leaning their head slightly and pulling me in for a kiss. Their bottom lip swiped against mine and I parted my lips slightly to let them in. Never had my head been so focused and so unfocused at the same time. And well after that, the cold wind and dark sky had us eager to find a bed for the night.
—
"Yes you can. I know you can…Everything is going to be alright, Piper." Their words of encouragement didn't do much for my aching soul…Do synths even have souls?
"When they get here i'm hoping to pass you off as one of the initiates that's supposed to retrieve the body." I looked down at the floor before nodding silently. I had no desire to get in one of those things. Blue had never asked me to after the last time. It had been one of their unspoken promises to me.
"We have a few more minutes. Anything you want to know?"
"Yes." I recoiled back into my own head again. I had thousands. Why couldn't I find one to voice.
"How did you find out? W-Where did you find the holotape?"
"Danse and I were out on an assignment. We came across remnants of an old building. Place was full of bodies. Courser attack. The courser was still alive when we got there. We had to shoot it down. Found data stating the institutes suspicion of your existence as the 'Journalist in Diamond City'. They had a courser infiltrate a railroad outpost to find more information about you and other escaped synths…" Blue trailed off and went quiet for a second looking for the right words.
"There were so many bodies I…I won't let the institute find you." They choked out the last part with an expression of pain. They refused to look at me. I didn't blame them. I'm one of the reasons those people are dead. I didn't want to—Couldn't think about that though. Right now I could barely handle what was happening. Desperate to dissipate the cloud of dread over the room I said,
"And the holotape?" Blue shook out of their thoughts.
"Found it on a dead Railroad agent." Blue was blunt. I had never known them to be like this. Usually they were so calm and collected but as I glanced over them I realized just how much of a mess they were.
"I-I tried. I tried so hard to convince Danse that first it wasn't true. He didn't believe me. Then I played the holotape over and over and over again. Trying to convince him. Nothing gets through that fucking thick head of his. Convinced that you were working for the enemy. I…I thought about killing him." My head shot up and I had to bite my lip to stop self from gasping.
"I couldn't do it!" They broke down then and there collapsing to the floor and leaning their back against the wall.
"He's my friend. I couldn't. I couldn't do it. What the fuck is wrong with me! Why couldn't I do it? If I did you'd be safe! If I did we wouldn't be in this mess! No one would have known. Why couldn't I do it?" Their hands were shaking and their breathing was chaotic as they held their head in their hands. I had been so lost in my own thoughts I hadn't stopped to think about how Blue was taking this. To find out that someone you cared about was a synth. And that they may be killed at any moment merely because of who they were. Neither of us were okay. I dropped to my knees next to them and cupped their face with my hands as theirs fell to their sides.
"Because you're not a monster. I know you, Blue. You could never kill a man in cold blood. It's not who you are. And I love who you are." I smiled sadly before giving them a quick soft kiss on the lips. They reached their hand up and tangled their hand in my hair. I closed my eyes and leaned into their hand, trying to absorb every ounce of their being. I loved them so much. It pained me to see them so torn up. Especially with me being the subject of their sorrow. I was pulled into an embrace and held them close as we waited. As much as I hated the fact, there was no use arguing, we were in this together.
Moments passed before Blue nudged me softly with their forehead. They helped me into the suit of power armor and we climbed up the ladder out of the hatch with me following behind. I was nervous that the obnoxiously loud sounds made by moving would draw attention to me but as we stepped outside it was clear that wouldn't be a problem. The around of a vertibird flying close overhead drowned out any other sound. The people of Sanctuary all had their heads up looking at the sky. Lucky for us that meant we could run back to behind our house with ease. The craft eventually landed and four figures stepped out. All fully dressed in identical power armor to the one I wore. All except one who I figured was a knight rather an initiate.
"Play along." Blue whispered in my ear before nudging me to fall in line behind them. No one noticed the added 'member'.
"Knight Freedman" Blue stepped out a few seconds later greeting the Brotherhood.
"Knight Conlin" There was an exchange of head nods before they went to the business at hand. Discussing details of the event, details that had not actually happened. When the other knight finally went to go inside our house Blue spoke up.
"If it's alright Knight, I'd like to head back to the Prydwen on foot. May I take one of your initiates for back up."
"We will be heading to the Prydwen shortly. You may accompany us on the vertibird." Shit. Blue's plan was falling apart.
"In all honesty soldier, you understand the personal nature of the assignment I was order to complete…Some fresh air would do some good." The knight turned to their direction. It was hard to tell with the power armor helmet over the knights face but I swear I saw sympathy.
"Of course. You should take Danse though. These initiates don't know up from down." The Knight joked. Blue laughed before saying,
"All the better. Give them some one on one training." Blue shot them a lovable smile before turning to me.
"Initiate. Come with me." I nodded before stepping out of line. I didn't dare use my voice. The idea that someone might realize I didn't belong was frightening.
"God help you soldier." Blue knew they were only joking, having a laugh at the incompetence of their recruits. But Blue considered it seriously. Every second now hung on the edge. Tomorrow wasn't guaranteed and I knew Blue would do everything in their power to make sure we had a life.
"And you, Knight" With that Blue and I headed towards the bridge of Sanctuary. We were stopped though when Nick caught up to us. He pushed Blue's chest causing them to topple over.
"You happy now, kid?" I went to grab Nick's arm but he threw it off. I forgot I was in power armor.
"Think you're some sort of hotshot now that you put down a big bad synth? Want to shoot me in the face too? Huh?" Nick placed their left hand on the shoulder of the vault dweller's blue jumpsuit before taking their other hand, the hand that was nothing but exposed metal, and connecting it with their face, and then their eye, and then their jaw. Over and over Nick beat Blue to a pulp and Blue did nothing to stop him. I tried to get Nick to stop but he shrugged me off with ease. He was angry.
"Nick…" When he finally pulled back to stop himself from just killing Blue, Blue spoke up and spit blood from their mouth. Nick didn't give them a chance to speak however. He hit them one more time in the throat causing Blue to slump over on the ground gasping for air.
"You killed her! What? Because she was a fucking synth? She loved you!" Nick attempted to calmed down but found himself unable. I had never seen Nick like this.
"You're nothing but a monster." Nick than proceeded to kick Blue in the side once. He was about to repeat this action but I grabbed his arm and used all the strength I had to pull him away. I think he was about to start yelling at me.
"Nick. It's me. Nick!" I looked around. No one had reacted to what was happening. No one even noticed. Most people were still gathered around our house watching the Brotherhood soldiers. I quickly took off my helmet. Nick's face immediately fell calm and he pulled me into a hug which I gladly returned. Nick went back over to Blue and helped them up, apologizing as he did.
"Sorry about that kid."
"No worries, Nick. You care. Not mad about that." Blue's words came out weak and I was scared they were seriously injured.
"Blue, take a stimpak." Blue looked over at me before coughing purposely. "Soldier."
"Oh" I put my helmet back on and glanced around to make sure no one saw me. "But Please. Stimpak." Blue didn't have to be told a third time.
"We don't have much time. We have to be heading out." Nick nodded understanding.
"Yea. You two should get out of here. I think I might leave myself before this thing really escalates. It's not safe for synths here in the commonwealth."
"Where will you go?" Blue asked.
"Probably west. The Brotherhood is less common in those parts. You should think about heading there yourself." There were some goodbyes and hugs and eventually it ended with a
"See you around Nick" from Blue.
We walked at a moderately fast pace. After getting relatively far from Sanctuary and out into the middle of nowhere, Blue helped me out of the power armor I was so desperate to get out of. We abandoned it there. I hated it and Blue saw no use in it.
"We have to get Nat. Diamond City isn't far from here." I nodded. I wondered if anyone in Diamond City was aware of what was happening yet. I know Blue had come straight back to Sanctuary with Danse and the news was only alerted to the Brotherhood via radio. It was unlikely anyone knew yet. My sister had no idea what was going on. My sister. Nat. Her sister was dead. How would she take any of this? I took away her only remaining family. What would she think of me? Would she hate me? It didn't matter how I felt about all this. At the moment I only cared about what Nat would be going through. Should I even tell her? Maybe it was better she kept on thinking her sister was alive.
"Blue should I tell her?"
"Huh?" Blue was focused on a tree branch laying on the ground and carefully stepped over it as not to trip.
"Should I tell Nat? That I'm a synth. That her sister is dead." Blue stopped walking for a minute and I didn't realize causing me to take several steps in front of them. When I noticed their cease in movement I doubled back and looked into their eyes waiting for a response.
"Piper, you are her sister."
"No, I'm not. Piper. The real Piper was. She was her sister."
"Yes, she was. And Nat was lucky to have two amazing ones." Blue took a step forward to create less distance between us.
"You are just as much her sister as she was. Screw genetics. How many night terrors have you soothed, how many days spent correcting homework and quizzing spelling words, how many knuckles bruised when someone did her wrong?" Blue gently grabbed my hand as they said this and placed a kiss on the subject of their words. I sighed and closed my eyes.
"You're her family, Piper. You have been for years." Blue lifted my chin up with their finger and had me look into their eyes.
"She loves you…No matter what. And so do I." They kissed my forehead before stepping back.
"You should tell her. It'll be hard but she deserves to know. That doesn't mean she'll love you any less." Blue's words were all I needed to calm my nerves. I agreed without questioning. They were right. Nat deserved to know the truth. I felt a bit of shame for even considering hiding the truth from her.
Soon we arrived at Diamond City. A guard saw us.
"Hey Pipes. Loved the last article. Taking a break from the red coat?" I flinched as they began but thanked them and continued walking to the gate with Blue. Paranoia was my current state of emotion. I was convinced everyone was either a courser out to kill me or worse kill Blue or they knew my secret and would start shooting at the both of us. I was scared of Blue getting pulled down with me. Dying myself was one thing but Blue? I couldn't let anything happen to them. Neither of my fears became a reality however. No one had heard the news yet. I received a few greetings as we headed to Publick Occurrences. I also received a few snarky comments about the paper but that wasn't out of the ordinary.
"Relax" Blue leaned over and whispered in my ear. I hadn't noticed but my face was drawn into a fear stricken frown. Blue was the one to open the door. Nat hadn't been outside selling papers. The sky was dark and cloudy. Every once in a while a few drops of rain would fall. As we stepped inside we were immediately greeted.
"Piper!" She ran up to me and wrapped her little arms around my waist, pulling me into a big bear hug. At first I didn't hug back. Should I? I wasn't sure if I deserved the embrace. Blue gave me a nod of encouragement though and I hugged her back. I saw a hint of sadness in Blue's eyes. They hated telling me what to do but I was so unsure about everything. I needed a little direction. I was glad they did. As soon as I hugged Nat I found myself dropping down to be at a similar height. I was so in awe of the girl. How could I love someone so much. Nat and Blue. Sometimes I felt as if i'd explode in happiness when they were both around. They meant everything to me. I didn't realize but I had started crying. Nat noticed and slightly struggled out of my arms.
"Piper what's wrong?" I saw she was scared. Her big sister looked broken. This was something she had never really seen. Sure, there had been many times over the years that I had broken down crying. But I always made sure Nat wasn't around or held in my emotions until I was alone. It was important to me that I stayed strong. Nat needed someone to cry on sometimes. She didn't need to be the shoulder I did. I didn't respond for a long time and just cupped my hands over my face. Nat glanced at Blue in fear. Blue acted quickly and crouched down next to me and placed a hand on my back.
"Piper, it's okay. Please." I took a deep breath and wiped away my tears as I dropped my hands. Blue stood up and took a few backwards steps to stand in the corner. I didn't move from where I was. I was eye level with Nat and that's how I wanted it to be. When I told her I didn't hear my own words. I didn't hear anything. My mouth went on autopilot for me and I can't remember what I said exactly. I know there were some 'I love you's" and 'I'm sorry' but other than that all I could hear was my heart pounding in my ears and all I could see was Nat's face drop with every word that passed my lips. Her reaction was a chaotic mixture.
"STOP LYING! It isn't funny!" It was hard to convince her that I was even telling the truth but when it finally hit she dissolved into tears. Never in my entire life, nor the memories I had been given, had I seen her this inconsolable. Natalie was young when our—her father died. Her only memories of him were the ones I or her sister had told her. I knew she felt grief over him but it was mostly because she had never gotten to know him quite like I did. I didn't move and I stopped trying to talk. I just sat on my knees and let her punch and push me. I was stronger and her efforts didn't do much to move or hurt me. I kind of wished they did. In that moment there was nothing I wanted more than to just die. Eventually after letting this just go on for too long Blue stepped in trying to calm her down which resulted in them receiving a few good kicks of their own before they were able to get her to sit down so they could explain more. As Blue talked I kept my eyes on Nat's face. What surprised her the most is that I had been around for five years. It went very silent for a long time and I thought maybe time had frozen. That idea quickly faded when Nat got up and walked towards me. I was still on my knees. I didn't dare move. As she got closer I noticed tears still fell down her face. I drew my face tight, closed my eyes and braced myself for another act of violence. Nothing happened and I slowly fluttered my eyes open. Nat looked at me a bit sad, almost as if she was disappointed I thought she'd try to hit me again.
"April 7th, 2285. Do you remember?"
"I—I…" Words were impossible to form as I just started stuttering, so surprised that she was even speaking to me.
"It was my 10th birthday and you—"
"I took you to Trinity Tower. Back before it was infested with super mutants of course." I interrupted her and quickly met her eyes to see if I had made a mistake. I saw no anger at my action and continued.
"You said you wanted to "be on top of the world'" I smiled remembering her words.
"It's the tallest building in the commonwealth. I took you to the top and we stayed there for hours." I reached into my shirt pocket. This caused Nat to jump slightly but I gave her a reassuring look before taking out a picture. I had made sure to take it out of the inner pocket of my red coat before abandoning it at the house. I held up the photo.
"Y-you found a working camera on the way to the top." Nat tore her eyes away from me and directed them to the photo. It was ripped down the middle horizontally. The only person present in it was Nat. She fiddled with her hands before taking off her right shoe and pulling her half of the photo out. She always took a liking to the right side of things ever since I had found a pre-war book discussing the left and right side of the brain. The left side is logical and values rules and strategy while the right was the opposite. "The left side is important but we are creatively chaotic as people. We have to stay open otherwise we can forget what's truly important." It was one of the wisest things Nat had ever said and I actually thought about it often. Especially when I first learned of the railroad. All synths, except Nick, are bad. End of story. Or so I thought. I remember once when I had traveled to Bunker Hill to trade. There was screaming. Someone was yelling, accusing the other of being a synth. It didn't take much for the man to crack and openly admit he was one. That he had been on the run from the institute. Bang! The man had barely finished explaining himself before his 'friend' shot him between the eyes. That night I took out my half of the photo and remembered Nat's words. I let my mind open to the possibility that not everything is how it seemed. She ended up being the reason I gave synths a chance. Little did I know how much I actually had in common with the others. Nat looked at the photo for a few moments before holding it up to complete the picture. The two of us stood at the top of the tower. Nat sat on top of my shoulders. She had a cheeky grin on her face and as did I. The photo actually was me. This was just two years ago and I remembered it clearly. I was lost deep in thought as I stared at the photo, but I lost all train of it when Nat surprisingly hugged me. I dropped the photo in surprise.
"If you're the person I took this picture with then I love you…I miss…Her, but I love you too."
"I love you, Nat." Nat cradled her head into my shoulder and sobbed a few times. I kissed her on the top of her head and practically begged my body to not join in. It was futile. We were both messes on the floor and Blue waited ever so patiently in the corner for a few minutes until we broke apart. Nat picked up the photo from the floor, both halves. She wandered up the stairs to my desk before coming back down with tape. Any sort of adhesive was rare, but this in particular took the gold. One time during the many outings I had ventured with Blue, we came across a school—infested with ghouls of course—and I found a roll of clear scotch tape. Clear! It wasn't something one would think about as 'a pre-war treasure' but to me it was. You could mend things without even seeing the original void that separated them in the first place. Nat and I started using it for everything, repairing things around the house, Nat's arts and craft projects, and the paper. Eventually there wasn't much left and we agreed to only use the rest on something important.
"When we tore this photo…You said it would be a reminder of each of us so we—"
"always had a piece of home with us. Because you're my home." I interrupted again and cursed myself for doing it. Nat nodded shyly.
"I remember when you said that. It was right before you went on that business trip outside of the commonwealth." I remembered that. I lied. Nat thought I went to do something for the paper, chase a story maybe. I never clarified to her. But that was a lie. Truth is, at the time, we were having trouble making ends meet. Business was slow, nothing remotely interesting had happened in a while and I ended up writing fluff pieces on old man Abbot's love for the wall. In order to make a few caps I found work delivering something outside of Massachusetts.
"She…died, because she too separated herself from her family. I loved her…but I also lost her." Nat looked down at the two pieces in her hand for a long time.
"I don't want to lose you too. Everyone, Dad, Piper…You, you'll all be with me no matter what, no matter where. But why be separate when we can be together." Nat took the roll of tape and tore the last piece off. She carefully placed it on top of the photo, creating a seal between the breach. She handed it to me with a small smile and then went to the lockers on the side of the room where we kept our photo album. It was a small album. With so few working cameras out their it was rare that we ever would take a photo. She scanned through it before pulling out one in the back.
"This isn't you right?" She held up a photo of our dad and I—her dad and her sister. Staring at it a second longer I noticed the baby in the young girls arms. Everyone was smiling, everyone was happy, everything was perfect. I shook my head left and right sympathetically. Nat frowned and then smiled. She pulled the photo against her chest and held it close before gently folding it and placing it in her shoe. I smiled and did the same with the old patched up photo.
"We have to leave don't we? That's why this is all coming up now isn't it?" I sighed. Nat just went through so much. How could I have the heart to tell her that she'd be ripped from her home as well. Luckily I didn't have to. Blue came out from their corner at that and replied. Nat seemed disappointed but she quickly accepted the turn of events. She had always been better at dealing with things than me.
"You two pack anything you need. We won't be returning." Blue gave Nat a kiss on the forehead before walking towards the door.
"Piper, I'll be right back. Going to buy some things from the market." I nodded and went upstairs and quickly packed some things. There wasn't much to pack…not when you're leaving everything behind. This was the end of the paper. For so long it felt like the only good thing I had ever done with my life. Now, I know that wasn't true. I had helped raise Nat and I had helped Blue save the Commonwealth from raiders, super mutants, and all sorts of other dangers. Those things alone were two great things I had down with my life. Writing the paper however, I was damn good at it. I'd miss it. I kissed my hand and rested it on the crapy printing press we owned. My relationship with it was that of a love-hate variety. It made everything a lot easier. I felt like screaming though every time it would fizz out. It would give a good amount of papers and then just shut down causing me to have to hand write a good dozen or so. I always gave the ones that printed nicely with no issues to the people around Diamond City who had purchased a subscription like Nick or Dr. Sun. The handwritten ones I usually sold to people passing through.
"Do you need anything?" I asked Nat who was gathering a few things in her room.
"umm a few minutes. But otherwise no."
"Okay. I'm going to go check on Blue real quick. Back in a moment. Don't go anywhere and scream as loud as you can if anyone besides me or Blue comes in." She gave me an 'understood' nod before directing her attention back to the jammed zipper of her bag. I stepped outside the building cautiously. No one seemed watchful of me so I wandered around looking for Blue in the market place. I started to panic a little when I didn't see them anywhere. Did they finally realize they wanted no part in this and left? Did they go to get the Brotherhood? Or worse, were they attacked by a courser looking for me? I had to force myself to breath. I walked up to Arturo who was putting things away, ready to head to his home.
"Arturo. Have you seen Blue anywhere?"
"I believe they went into the Chapel." Arturo pointed to the little church by the entrance to the city. Not many people went there. The only religion I had really ever heard of was 'The Children of Atom' and to me that was just utter nonsense.
"Thanks Arturo."
"Anytime." I went to head in the direction he had pointed but found myself stopping. It occurred to me that this was most definitely the last time i'd see the man. This was the last time i'd see anyone in this town. I know I couldn't say goodbye to everyone but maybe I could say goodbye to him at least. Of course I couldn't explicitly say 'goodbye.' No one was to know of our plan to leave.
"Arturo?"
"Yes? Did you need something? Gun? Ammo? I was just about to head home but I don't mind staying out a bit longer for you."
"Umm, no. Not today. Thank you though. I just wanted to tell you something."
"Oh" He looked me in the eyes and waited for me to continue.
"I wanted to say thank you. For being a friend. I know we haven't been very close but you've done a lot for me over the years. I appreciate it…I appreciate you." He gave a warm smile and I saw his cheeks blush slightly.
"Aww come on, don't be getting all soft and squishy with me." I shot back a smile and said, "See you later Arturo."
"Have a good day." I left and slowly opened the door to the chapel. The building was almost empty. Pastor Clements stood behind a podium while Blue sat with their eyes closed on a pew. I gently sat next to them and tried not to disturb either of the two people. I saw Blue's lips open and close in a silent mutter. Eventually they stopped, opened their eyes, and turned to me.
"Hey, Piper."
"Hey, Blue." I glanced around the room taking everything in. It occurred to me that I had never actually seen the inside of this building before.
"Watcha doing?"
"Talking to God."
"I know for a fact that you don't believe in that Atom's glow talk…I-I didn't know you were religious."
"I'm not. I mean not really. I believe in…Something. God. Whatever religion they belong too…Maybe no religion. Maybe every religion. Perhaps it's all the same being with just…different details or something. I don't know. It doesn't matter. I believe someone is listening to me."
"I never saw you come here before."
"That's because I don't do it often. I've only been here once before. When I first arrived in Diamond City, I came here and prayed. Prayed for my spouse, prayed for my son, prayed for the world in some lame attempt at hoping it wasn't too far gone." It went silent. I felt it unnecessary to respond. Instead I reached my hand out and threaded their fingers between mine. I really knew nothing of religion. I wasn't sure if I believed in it myself. But I found myself closing my eyes and praying. Hopefully to someone paying attention. If not then to the void. I prayed everything would be alright, me, Blue, and Nat. Blue eventually tapped me on the shoulder and said we had to go.
"Where are we going exactly?" Blue gave a small shrug and grabbed my hand to help pull me up.
"Not sure. But we'll figure it out. First we have to make another stop."
"Where?" I was confused. If Blue had some sort of plan they hadn't told me any of it.
"First we have to follow the Freedom Trail."
