Disclaimer:The only character I own is Horace
So anyway, once upon a time in a galaxy really far away lived this guy, Horace Von Tinklesworth. I'm sure you've heard of him. He was the main character in the story i wrote about Hannah Montana (which i deleted for the sake of my reviewers). Back to the point: Horace wanted to be a Jedi Knight, just like Anakin and Obi-Wan, except better.
So, he decided he would eat their souls with a side of shrimp on the barbie for his dinner in three days. Basically, he is going to kill Anakin and Obi-Wan for their amazing Jedi powers. But, he couldn't do it alone. So he asked for some help from the friendly neighborhood Spiderman!
This is how it all went down:
"Hey Spidey---wanna join me for dinner in three days?"
"Why three?"
"Because I said three you stupid nincompoop!"
"Sure, but what's in it for me?"
"Shrimp!!"
"SHRIMP? I despise shrimp with the fiery depths of my soul!"
"You have a soul?!"
"Si."
"You speak Spanish?"
"Si!"
"Is that all you can say?"
"Si…."
"Well, I think I'll eat your soul too!"
So Horace did, except there wasn't any shrimp. Then again—Spiderman is shrimpy enough…
Now that Spiderman didn't have a soul, Horace didn't have anyone to help him. And then, that's when Batman hit him. Literally hit him…with his batty weapons (I have no idea what half of his gadgets are, so leave me alone!)
"Nananananananana Batman!" Horace sang in honor.
"Shut up!"
"No, not till you help me eat someone's soul!"
"Sorry, I have spelunking to do!" Batman flew away.
And it was then that Horace noticed a pretty bird in the sky—no wait, a plane—nevermind, it's a kite!
Holy Canoli—it's Superman!!
Horace threw up. Just kidding, he threw up a rope and pulled Superman (a.k.a. Man Of Steel) from the sky.
"Hey, it's you! We finally meet!"
"Are you some sort of new villain?"
"Kind of—I want to steal a few souls."
"Then I will fry you with my uber cool powers of heat!"
"Fine, I'll ask…the Punisher!"
"Sorry, he's on a date with John Travolta!"
"What about…Harry Potter?"
"Having a barbecue party with the Malfoys."
"Then the only hero left is Eragon!"
"Nah—he's bonding with Murtagh."
"Are you sure you won't help me?"
"Ouie."
"Dude! You can speak French!"
"Ouie!"
"Is that all you can say?"
"Ouie!" Superman flew away.
Then, Horace decided he would have to attempt this crime on his own….
"I see you got barbecue sauce on my bath robe!"
"You have done that yourself!"
"I absolutely do not eat barbecue sauce!"
"Only a Sith deals in absolutes."
"A sith?"
"A sith."
"That's a pretty bad lisp you've got there. You should really work on that."
"I will do what I must."
"I—"
"Hiya guys!" Horace appeared out of nowhere.
"Who are you?"
"Your doom!" Horace super-kicked them in their happy places and sucked their souls out with his super sucking machine and waited for his shrimp to finish barbecuing.
He then pushed Anakin and Obi-Wan into the pits of hot, boiling magma and ate his meal in content with their shrieks of pain as mood music.
LE FIN
A/N: There will be more, whether you like it or not!
