Originally written Oct/Nov 1998

Title: Shattered
Rating: M
Summary: B'Elanna starts having flashbacks of Jora Mirell's memories. AU, P/T.

A/N: Thanks to Julie for beta-reading.

This story has nothing to do with the 7th season episode of the same name. It was written long before that episode aired.

Historian's note: Part 1 takes place 3rd season, after "Future's End." Part 2 takes place 4th season, after "Concerning Flight," and continues on through "Mortal Coil" (with a little reference to "Waking Moments" at the end).


Part 1

In the stillness of the warm summer night, a young woman lay fast asleep in her bed. The only light was that of the silvery moonlight filtering through the window. Suddenly, a knock on the window woke her. She jumped out of bed to open the shutters and greet her lover. He climbed through the window, hauling her into his embrace. They kissed feverishly as he carried her to the bed...

B'Elanna awoke with a start. She frowned. She hadn't had that dream in a while, not since the Enarans had left. Why was she having it again now?


"Captain's log, Stardate 50334.7. We've encountered an alien race known as the Zendiron. They are technologically advanced, and their mental powers are beyond anything we've ever seen – the Zendirons are telekinetic. They seem eager to trade with us, so I've invited them on board Voyager to begin negotiations."

Captain Janeway left her ready room, lost in thought. The Zendirons were expecting her to meet them in the mess hall. Fascinating species, she thought to herself. The Zendirons resembled humans in appearance, except for their smaller stature, larger eyes and heads. That was due to their telekinetic powers, as the Doctor had explained. At first, she had been concerned about the dangers of random objects flying around the ship, but the Zendirons had reassured her that they would refrain from using their telekinesis in crowded areas.

In the mess hall, the crew had gathered to welcome the Zendiron delegation. The captain surveyed the room with a smile. Neelix had gone out of his way to prepare for the arrival party. She spotted Chakotay deep in conversation with the Zendiron ambassador and immediately headed in that direction.

On the other side of the room, B'Elanna was conversing with a young, enthusiastic Zendiron engineer named Adael. He reminded her a little of Ensign Freddie Bristow, who was sitting beside him. Adael and Freddie hadn't exactly hit it off, though. Every few moments, they would shoot suspicious glances at each other.

At the moment, Adael was explaining the telekinetic powers of the Zendiron people. Bristow listened impassively with an occasional nod, clearly unimpressed. B'Elanna tried to focus on what Adael was saying, but her mind kept wandering. She just couldn't chase the vague impressions of the dream out of her head. There had been something different about the dream this time, but she couldn't quite place it.

B'Elanna shook her head distractedly. She had to stop thinking about it. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Tom and Harry sitting with a group of Zendiron women. One of the Zendiron astrophysicists was blatantly flirting with Tom. For some reason, B'Elanna felt a twinge of annoyance at the sight of that wide-eyed alien woman simpering at Tom.

"I'm going to get some more cake," she said abruptly.

Both Freddie and Adael immediately stood up. "I'll get it for you," they chorused. B'Elanna stifled a laugh as they glared at each other. They had been doing that all evening.

"Actually, I could use some more coffee, too," she interjected before they could start arguing again. "Why don't you get the cake, Adael, and Freddie can get me some more coffee." They nodded, then hurried off to carry out her requests.

B'Elanna shook her head, amazed at the attention that they were paying to her. She knew that Bristow still hadn't gotten over his crush on her, but she hadn't expected that it would be this bad. Worse, Adael seemed to be developing similar feelings for her. B'Elanna was flattered, but their attentions were becoming tiresome. She was grateful for a moment's respite to gather her thoughts. The dream...

"What's a beautiful woman like you doing here all by yourself?" a voice behind her drawled.

Startled, B'Elanna whirled around to find Tom Paris at her side, a little too close for her comfort. She moved back slightly.

"Hi, Tom."

He sat down next to her, in the seat that Freddie had vacated. "Enjoying the party?"

"Mm-hmm. Are you?"

"Definitely. But I'm enjoying it even more in your company," he said with a charming smile. B'Elanna rolled her eyes. It was a typical Paris response.

"Freddie and Adael just went to get me some more coffee and cake," she explained.

He raised an eyebrow. "I noticed. Looks like you've got them at your beck and call."

Her eyes narrowed.

"I don't blame them," he continued. "I'd be at your beck and call, too, if you'd let me."

Disconcerted by the intensity of his gaze, B'Elanna quickly looked away. She felt a familiar fluttering in her stomach but ignored it.

"No thanks," she said sharply. Tom shrugged, unperturbed.

At that moment, Freddie and Adael returned with the coffee and cake. Adael wasn't actually holding the plate of cake, except with his mind, and it hovered eerily in front of him.

Freddie glared at Tom. "Excuse me, Lieutenant, but you're sitting in my seat," he said coldly.

Tom stood up, an amused smile quirking at his lips.

The plate of cake slowly floated to the surface of the table. Unfortunately, Freddie didn't notice the plate's descent as he set the coffee down in its path.

"Ouch!" B'Elanna winced as the hot coffee splashed onto her hand.

Horrified, Freddie and Adael gasped. Tom immediately grabbed her hand to assess the damage.

B'Elanna was too stunned to pull away. Her hand was tingling, but it wasn't because of the burn from the coffee. She drew in a sharp breath as his hands soothingly caressed hers. Their eyes met.

"Doesn't look too bad," Tom was saying. "But you should have it healed right away. Come on, I'll take you to Sickbay." B'Elanna nodded wordlessly, mesmerized by the clarity of those beautiful blue eyes.

Freddie and Adael opened their mouths to protest, but Tom was already leading her out of the Mess Hall.


In Sickbay, B'Elanna fidgeted as the Doctor ran the dermal regenerator over her hand. Tom had been called back to the Bridge.

"So what's the other problem, Lieutenant?" the Doctor asked as he scanned her with a medical tricorder.

"I've been having those dreams again, Doctor. The same ones I had when the Enarans were here," she began.

"Those weren't dreams, B'Elanna; they were telepathic episodes," he corrected her.

"Whatever."

His forehead wrinkled as he finished scanning her with the tricorder. "Hmmm... I see no reason why you should be experiencing those memories again." The Doctor ran a few more tests. "Well, until I can figure out what's causing this, I want you to wear this neural suppressor when you sleep. It'll prevent the dreams." He carefully attached the disc behind her ear.

"Thanks."

B'Elanna went back to her quarters, lost in thought. The dream. Something had definitely changed since the original dream. She frowned, trying to remember exactly what it was that was different.

She shook her head. It was probably nothing. She decided to just go to sleep and forget about it.

But a few hours later, B'Elanna was still tossing and turning in her bed. She just couldn't figure out what was different about the dream, and that bothered her, because it seemed important. The suspense was making her anxious.

Unable to take it anymore, B'Elanna finally tore off the neural suppressor and settled back into bed.

Almost immediately, the dream began again...

The moonlight bathed the room in an ethereal glow. They finally made it to her bed, still entwined in a passionate embrace. She slid her arms around his neck as he kissed his way down her forehead ridges, the tip of her nose, and finally her mouth. He slipped the straps of her nightgown off of her shoulders while she tugged his shirt off, eager to feel the heat of his naked skin against hers. Their kisses grew more heated as they struggled out of their clothing. She moaned as he caressed her bare breasts and smothered gentle kisses along her throat. He slid his hand lower, murmuring her name...

"B'Elanna... B'Elanna... wake up. B'Elanna!"

She slowly opened her eyes and tried to focus. Chakotay was standing over her, looking worried.

"What are you doing here, Chakotay?" she asked crossly. All she wanted to do was go back to sleep.

"We were supposed to meet for breakfast and go over some reports, remember?" She stared at him blankly. "The Doctor told me that you've been having those dreams again," he continued. "Were you having them again just now? I've been trying to wake you for the past five minutes."

"Oh... I'm sorry. The dream..." She frowned. Something didn't seem right.

"What's wrong?"

She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. "Nothing. I'm sorry about oversleeping. I'll meet you in the Mess Hall, okay?"

Chakotay still looked concerned.

"I'm fine. Really," she reassured him.

"All right..." he said dubiously. "I'll see you in the Mess Hall, then."

After he left, she buried her head in the pillow again. She was irritated that Chakotay had interrupted her dream. Just when it had been getting good. She had to figure out what was different about it this time. It was driving her crazy.

What had happened just before she had woken up? She replayed the dream in her mind, searching for answers.

The man in her dream had also said her name just before she had woken up, she realized. But he hadn't called her Korenna as he had in the original dreams. Instead, he had called her B'Elanna. So that was it. She had been herself this time.

She closed her eyes, trying to remember more. There was more to it than that. The man in her dream had been different, too... Certainly not Dathan. He had seemed so familiar, someone she knew well. Someone from her past? Or someone on Voyager?

He had been considerably taller than her and strong enough to lift her with ease, she recalled with a blush. She could remember every sensuous detail... the weight of his finely toned body on hers, his broad, muscular chest, the tender caresses they had shared, those expressive blue eyes gazing at her with such intensity as he tenderly whispered her name and stoked the fires of passion in her heart...

Her eyes widened as she finally realized who the man in her dream had been...

Tom Paris.


Chakotay finished another bite of his scrambled Andurian eggs, managing not to grimace. Neelix had been "innovating" again.

"I don't know, Chakotay. The dreams... they're the same, but different." B'Elanna had finally made it to the Mess Hall, but she didn't feel like eating. She felt restless.

Chakotay had another sip of coffee before answering her. "What do you mean, 'the same, but different?'"

B'Elanna fidgeted with her napkin, as she thought about how best to explain the dream without revealing too much. She trusted Chakotay, but this matter was too uncomfortable for her to discuss it that openly.

"B'Elanna?" He looked at her expectantly with patient eyes.

"Well... Parts of it have changed. I mean, the scenario is the same..." Chakotay nodded encouragingly. "But the people are different." She shook her head. "Now I'm myself, and the man in my dream isn't Enaran, he's... he's... someone else."

"Someone else? You mean, like someone on Voyager?" he asked with a hint of a smile.

"I don't want to talk about that," she said abruptly. She crossed her arms and stared at her untouched plate.

Chakotay was curious, but he knew better than to pressure her to talk about it when she was in one of her moods. As they finished breakfast and left the Mess Hall, B'Elanna was still frowning, puzzled by it all.

"Just because he asked me to go sailing with him..." he heard her mutter.

Who is she talking about? Chakotay wondered. He made a mental note to ask around later.

They walked in silence the rest of the way to the conference room.

She didn't know what to make of it. The thought disturbed her. She found herself constantly distracted by the memory of those dreams. Incredibly erotic dreams.

Of all the men on this ship, why do I have to be dreaming about him? she asked herself crossly. She wasn't even remotely interested in Paris. Or was she? Of course she wasn't, she told herself unconvincingly. But then, why would she be dreaming about him if she wasn't interested in him?

Was she?

The possibility terrified her.


Thoroughly annoyed, B'Elanna stood up and walked to the other side of the holodeck to sit under a nearby palm tree. Adael had been demonstrating his telekinetic powers again, moving chairs and plants around the resort program with his mind, but Freddie had scoffed at him. Adael had taken great offense. At the moment, Sue Nicoletti was doing her best to pacify them both.

B'Elanna was fed up with their bickering. She sighed. Adael and Freddie were nice enough, but their excessive devotion irritated her. They were too young and inexperienced for her taste. She needed a real man. Someone who had seen the world, who had experienced life. A man who could understand her, accept her for who she was, and care for her. Someone who could inspire passion and tenderness in her, fulfill her need for companionship, and also satisfy her desires. Someone like... Someone like Tom Paris.

She frowned. Where had that thought come from? That's absolutely ridiculous, she scolded herself. She didn't want to have anything to do with him, romantically. He couldn't be trusted in matters of the heart; Chakotay had always warned her about that. Not that she needed to be warned. She could clearly see that for herself.

So why was she still thinking about him?

B'Elanna settled into the cushions of her lounge chair, remembering what Chakotay had once said about Tom Paris.

"He's a womanizer. He doesn't care about anyone except himself."

Initially, B'Elanna had agreed. Tom certainly behaved like an arrogant pig most of the time.

But then she had seen another side of him. He was capable of such kindness and compassion. Strong, but gentle...

She could imagine his graceful hands running through her hair, gently trailing along her face, caressing her bare shoulders, moving lower...

Alarmed, B'Elanna suddenly sat up. She had been dozing off again. She shook her head, dismayed. The dream had seemed so realistic. Too realistic to forget about it easily.

Looking up, she realized that Freddie and Adael were headed towards her. Apparently, they had finally declared a truce.

"This holodeck program is exquisite!" Adael was saying.

"It's even better when you're not making things fly around," Freddie couldn't resist saying. Adael scowled at him.

Sighing, B'Elanna rubbed her temples. Freddie and Adael were giving her a headache, and the persistent memories of her dream troubled her. She was beginning to feel rather disoriented.

"B'Elanna?" They were both staring at her.

She grimaced slightly as the dizziness threatened to overwhelm her. "I'm sorry. I'm not feeling well..." she said weakly, struggling to stand.

Concerned, Freddie and Adael helped her to her feet.

"Do you want me to take you to Sickbay?" Freddie asked.

"No, no. I'm all right. I'm going back to my quarters." Excusing herself, B'Elanna left the holodeck as Freddie and Adael stared worriedly after her.


Tom frowned. B'Elanna had been avoiding him more than usual lately. He knew he wasn't her favorite person in the world, but she usually tolerated his presence, at least. But for the past few days she had been behaving strangely around him. He just couldn't figure it out. Maybe she's mad at me or something, he thought idly. No, that couldn't be it. She would have let him know it if she were mad at him. Besides, B'Elanna lost her temper easily, but she didn't stay mad for long. No, this had to be something more serious. But what? he asked himself as he waited for the turbolift. Why was she avoiding him?

The turbolift doors opened, and there she was. He noted the look of dismay on her face as she saw him but decided to ignore it. He stepped into the turbolift. She took a deep breath, willing herself not to think about the sensual dreams she'd been having about him, not to look at him, not to imagine what it would feel like to have his body pressed up against hers in the turbolift...

"Are you okay, B'Elanna?"

She jumped. Their eyes locked.

He was looking at her with considerable concern. "B'Elanna?"

When she didn't answer, he finally said, "Computer, halt turbolift."

She froze, starting to panic.

"B'Elanna, what's wrong? You've been avoiding me all week. Have I done something wrong?"

"No. It has nothing to do with you," she snapped, trying to control her turbulent emotions.

"Then what is it? Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I don't," she informed him icily. He took a step towards her, which alarmed her all the more. She backed as far away from him as possible. "Computer, resume turbolift."

The lift doors opened at her deck and she stalked off, leaving Tom to wonder what was going on.

He shook his head. If he didn't know better, he'd swear that she was almost... afraid of him for some reason.


He paused, sensing that he wasn't really getting through to her.

"You don't even really know him," she argued. "You'd like him if you got to know him better. I just know it."

"Somehow, I doubt it."

They weren't getting anywhere, he realized. She was as stubborn as he was. He decided to change tactics.

"B'Elanna, you promised me you wouldn't see him anymore. He's no good."

"But Chakotay..." she protested.

"I know what's best for you. Do you question my judgment?"

"No, of course not," she said hastily.

"I'm just looking out for your best interests. I don't want you to get hurt," he said with concern.

"I know, I know," she sighed. "You're right. I won't see him anymore."

"Good," he said approvingly. Chakotay kissed the top of her head paternally. "I've got to get back to work now."

B'Elanna nodded and waved good-bye as he left. She breathed a sigh of relief.

"I thought he'd never leave," Tom said as he came out from his hiding place. She ran over to him, throwing her arms around him. They kissed passionately, disrobing as rapidly as possible. He gathered her in his arms and headed for the bedroom. She wanted nothing more than to lose herself in his loving embrace.

But as they collapsed onto her bed, entangled in each other, Chakotay's words came back to her. What if Chakotay's right? asked a little voice inside her head. What if Tom doesn't really care about me? Confused, B'Elanna pulled away from her lover.

He sensed her hesitation. "What's wrong?" he asked, concerned.

"I – I..."

"B'Elanna... B'Elanna, I love you," he whispered huskily. That was all she needed to hear.

"I love you, too," she murmured, dragging his mouth down to hers for a smoldering kiss. Their love was all that mattered. He settled himself between her thighs once more, driving into her as she gasped. They sank into a desperate, familiar rhythm, panting.

She clung to him, crying out as he took her to the heights of ecstasy. "Tom! Oh, Tom..."


"B'Elanna?"

She stirred, slowly regaining consciousness.

"B'Elanna? Can you hear me?" Chakotay asked as the Doctor administered another hypospray to her.

She groaned. Her head hurt terribly.

"Tom... " she said groggily. She opened her eyes and looked around in confusion. "What happened?"

"You lost consciousness in Main Engineering," the Doctor said matter-of-factly.

"I couldn't wake you, so we beamed you to Sickbay," Chakotay added. "How are you feeling?"

"Terrible."

The Doctor frowned at her. "This wouldn't have happened if you had been wearing the neural suppressor. It would have prevented the dreams."

Chakotay started. It had suddenly hit him – B'Elanna had told him that she was herself in the dreams, and that the man was someone on Voyager. And she had said his name before she had fully regained consciousness. Tom. Tom Paris.

Chakotay's mind reeled. Paris? She'd been dreaming about Paris?

He had a sinking feeling about all this.

The Doctor reactivated the neural suppressor as B'Elanna looked on, impatient to get back to work.

"I haven't established the cause of your dreams yet, but this should do for now. Don't take it off," the Doctor told her sternly. She nodded, already heading out the door.

Chakotay walked her back to Main Engineering, searching for the right words to ask her about the dream, but he couldn't think of a tactful way to phrase it.

Captain Janeway was waiting for them there with some of the Zendirons, who were preparing to leave for a damaged Zendiron ship that they had discovered in the vicinity.

"Tom is taking a shuttle so he can help the Zendirons with the ship's navigational controls. B'Elanna, I'd like you to go with him and help them fix the ship's engines."

B'Elanna was about to nod in agreement, but then she caught the disapproving expression on Chakotay's face... and remembered his warning.

"I'm needed here in Main Engineering," she told the captain. "Carey should go."

"All right," Captain Janeway said. Adael looked disappointed, but he didn't say anything as he, Carey, and Paris headed for the shuttlebay.

B'Elanna sighed and looked to Chakotay. He smiled at her approvingly. He was concerned about her state of mind and thought it safer that she stay on board Voyager for the time being.


"Are you listening to me?" Chakotay asked. B'Elanna snapped to attention.

"Hmmm?" She had been thinking about Tom again. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

Chakotay studied her for a long moment. "You haven't heard a single word that I've said in the past five minutes, have you."

"Sorry... I guess I was a little distracted."

Chakotay frowned. "I see."

B'Elanna was starting to get a little nervous. Did he suspect that she'd directly disobeyed him again?

"What were you thinking about? Maybe I can help."

"Oh, nothing important," she said hurriedly.

"B'Elanna..."

Uh-oh, she thought.

"Have you been seeing Tom again?" Chakotay asked sternly.

She started to deny it, but he already knew the truth.

"You have, haven't you. I can't believe you would deliberately disobey me like that!"

"Chakotay –"

"B'Elanna, he's just using you. Can't you see that?"

"No! That's not true!" she cried. She couldn't bear to hear him say that. Because some part of her feared that it was true.

"Have I ever lied to you?"

"No, of course not..."

"Listen to me, B'Elanna. I know what he's like. I've seen it happen before. He preys on naive, innocent young women like you..."

B'Elanna shook her head. "You don't understand. It's not like that at all!"

"What did he say to you? Did he tell you that he loves you? That you're the only woman in his life?"

B'Elanna didn't say anything. Of course he had.

"Don't believe anything he tells you. You're not the only one he's been visiting late at night."

B'Elanna started to protest, but Chakotay refused to be deterred. "Look, I don't blame you for getting carried away by all this. He's very persuasive and charming; he'll tell you exactly what you want to hear. But it's only because he wants something from you. And once he gets it, he'll leave you."

B'Elanna turned away. She didn't know what to think anymore. How could Chakotay say that?

"B'Elanna..." His tone softened. "I know this is difficult for you to accept, and I don't mean to be so harsh, but it's the truth. It would be best if you stayed away from him. Really. He's not to be trusted."

She was torn. She wanted to believe that Tom loved her, but... what if Chakotay was right? He usually was.

"I don't want you to have anything to do with him," Chakotay repeated gently but firmly. "Stay away from him. Is that understood?"

She sighed. What else could she say? "Yes, Chakotay."

Chakotay shook his head. He was going to have do something drastic to ensure that she wouldn't see him again.


In Sickbay, the Doctor regarded B'Elanna solemnly as he monitored her vital signs. She was unconscious again.

"I don't understand it," he muttered. "The neural suppressor should be working."

Suddenly, B'Elanna awoke with a scream. "NO!"

Chakotay took her hand. "Calm down, B'Elanna. It's all right. You were dreaming again."

"Tom," she said anxiously. "He's dead... and it's all my fault!"

"B'Elanna," Chakotay said firmly. "Tom is fine. He's not dead; he's on a shuttle mission, remember? You were having nightmares again."

"No..." She shook her head vehemently.

They were interrupted as a group of Zendirons, badly injured, accompanied by Captain Janeway rushed into Sickbay. The Zendiron ship had been attacked and...

"The shuttle is missing," the captain said grimly. Uh-oh, thought Chakotay.

B'Elanna burst into tears. Stunned, Chakotay went over to comfort her. She rarely cried, and this situation hardly seemed to merit tears.

"B'Elanna, what's wrong?"

"I should have gone with him... It's all my fault!" She was sobbing uncontrollably by now.

"You couldn't have known. It's not your fault."

"I never should have listened to you!"

Chakotay was taken aback. "What do you mean?"

"You told me to stay away from him."

He stared at her, confused. He had said something like that on occasion, he remembered with a twinge of guilt. But he hadn't said it recently, certainly not to B'Elanna.

"It'll be all right," he said soothingly. "We'll find them." But secretly, he was worried.

"No! He's dead! And I loved him... " She was still crying, as Chakotay looked on helplessly.

The Doctor went back over to B'Elanna and Chakotay as soon as he had finished treating the Zendirons, who left with Captain Janeway.

"What's wrong with B'Elanna, Doctor?" Chakotay asked anxiously. "Why is she being so irrational?"

"She's confusing her nightmares with reality," the Doctor diagnosed. "She doesn't know which is which anymore."

"How could that happen?"

"Regions of her brain have become hyperstimulated. Somehow, the neural pathways connecting the memories of those telepathic transmissions became activated and altered. I'm not exactly sure how."

"Well, what can we do about it?"

"I don't know." The Doctor studied the tricorder for a moment. "Tell me again what you know about the dreams, Commander," he requested.

"Well..." Chakotay cleared his throat, trying to remember what B'Elanna had told him. "Let me see. In the original dreams, B'Elanna was an Enaran woman with a lover that her father didn't approve of. The father convinced her to stay away from the young man... The young man was killed... and the woman felt responsible for his death."

"I see... Just as I suspected. You said B'Elanna told you that the dreams had become altered, that she was herself in these dreams, and Mr. Paris her lover. If I'm not mistaken, you are her 'father' in the dream, Commander."

Chakotay did a double-take. "What?"

"It's the only logical explanation. You heard what she just said. I'm assuming that you didn't tell her to stay away from Mr. Paris. Therefore, it must be from her dream."

Chakotay stood there for a moment, sorting this out. It was possible. He didn't approve of Paris, at least, not for B'Elanna – he didn't think Tom was good enough for her. It would make sense that I'm the father figure in B'Elanna's dream, Chakotay mused.

"So she blames herself for Tom's death? ... I mean, disappearance," Chakotay hastily corrected himself as B'Elanna wailed. "He's not dead, B'Elanna. Just missing." She refused to be consoled, continuing to sob. "B'Elanna. Calm down."

"I'm going to have to sedate her." The Doctor reached over and pressed the hypospray to the side of her neck.


"B'Elanna... how could you do this to me? I loved you! I thought you loved me..."

She screamed as the ghostly images of her dead lover continued to haunt her. "I do love you!" she cried. "You have to believe me! I didn't know this was going to happen."

"All I wanted was for us to be together! We had something special, but it wasn't good enough for you."

Anguished, B'Elanna sank to the ground on her knees as the guilt overwhelmed her. "I never should have listened to Chakotay."

"I trusted you, and you betrayed me!" Tom accused her.

"No," she protested weakly, knowing in her heart that he was right.

"We'll never be together again... Good-bye, B'Elanna." The specter began to fade away sadly.

"No! No... I love you, Tom! Don't leave me. Tom!" She desperately sought to hold on to him, but he was already gone.


"Captain, I believe that the Zendirons' mental powers have been causing disruptions in Lieutenant Torres' neural patterns. It has come to my attention that her condition worsens whenever the Zendirons near her use their telekinesis. B'Elanna has been spending a lot of time with her Zendiron friend, Adael, and her proximity to the neural energy waves that Zendirons emit to mentally move objects have been affecting her adversely. I'm going to have to ask that all the Zendirons on board Voyager refrain from using their telekinetic powers."

The captain nodded. "All right, Doctor. I'll let them know. Is B'Elanna all right?"

"Well, she's still unconscious, but I've repaired the damage. She should be fine."

At that moment, Tom and Adael walked into Sickbay, nursing minor injuries. They had evaded the attackers and returned to Voyager with minimal damage.

"B'Elanna!" exclaimed Adael. He moved towards her, but the Doctor restrained him.

"She's unconscious. Don't disturb her. And don't use your telekinetic powers!"

"But –"

As they continued to argue, B'Elanna slowly opened her eyes, aware that the throbbing pain in her head had subsided. But the dull ache in her heart remained. Guilt. Emptiness. "Tom," she cried out in despair.

"B'Elanna?"

She froze. She knew that voice.

"B'Elanna," the voice repeated. Confused, she slowly turned, only to see Tom at her side. Alive.

"Tom?" Not trusting her eyes, she reached out for him. He took her hand, gently helping her sit up.

The Doctor was saying something about nightmares, but she wasn't really listening. All she could think about was that Tom was alive and well.

"Mr. Paris." The Doctor waved the dermal regenerator in his hand impatiently.

B'Elanna sighed with relief as the Doctor finished treating Tom's injuries. He was all right.

"I'm glad you're all right, Tom," she said.

He smirked. "Were you worried about me?"

"As a matter of fact, I was."

Surprised, he stared at her. She was serious. "Worried enough to have dinner with me later?" he asked jokingly.

"Maybe."

She smiled enigmatically at his startled expression.

"Mr. Paris, my patient needs her rest," the Doctor said pointedly.

Tom wanted to say more to her but decided not to press his luck. Still looking a little puzzled, he shrugged and exited Sickbay. Her eyes never left him.

Sighing, Adael watched glumly. He had been tempted to ask her, "Weren't you worried at all about me?" but thought better of it. He recognized a lost cause when he saw one.

The Doctor returned to her side as soon as he was done tending to Adael's injuries. Adael unobtrusively slipped out of Sickbay.

"I've repaired the damage, Lieutenant. You won't be having those nightmares again."

B'Elanna sighed with relief. "Thank you, Doctor." She was about to say more when Chakotay came in to check up on her.

"How are you feeling, B'Elanna?"

"Fine." Physically, at least. Emotionally was another story.

"I'm glad to hear that." He smiled at her, but his eyes still expressed concern.

"Chakotay... I owe you an apology for the way I behaved earlier. I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said –"

"Don't worry about it, B'Elanna. You weren't feeling well. I understand." He patted her shoulder comfortingly.

"It all seemed so real," she said, shaking her head. It still did, in many ways. She was having trouble sorting it all out. What did it all mean? How did she really feel about Tom Paris?

She had no answers to those questions. She feared that she never would.

Whatever else, she could no longer deny how much he meant to her.

(end of part 1)