Johnn liked to think happy thoughts. He liked escaping reality when the darkness broke through. He thought of laughter, thought of familiar faces, particularly one of a woman he who had been taken from him long ago. She was beautiful, at least from what he remembered and her laughter was that of an angel's. His thoughts always allowed him to see her but never to touch or say goodbye before he was sucked back into his dark world. He looked around. The room was dark and only lit by a dim, crackling, fire blazing in a crumbled brick fireplace. Where was he? Looking down he noticed blood on his hands and shirt. It wasn't just a few blotches, he was covered. I didn't feel any pain and upon examination found that he had not been injured except for a few scratches on his face and arms.
"Dammit.. no.. no..." Johnn thought franticly as he paced the room looking for more clues as to what had happened. Then, he saw it. Lying in the corner was the corpse of a woman that he could not identify. She had been severely beaten and strangled as well as stabbed multiple times and slashed in the face. The floor was covered in blood and shards of hair and clothing and in the middle of the floor was a blood covered knife. Johnn looked in awe at the mutilated body of the woman. Why did this happen? How was he provoked this time?
Johnn sat on the ground and began to cry. He felt sorry. Sorry that he couldn't contain the darkness and that he doesn't know what brings it out of him. Sorry that someone who loves this woman is going to find her like this. Sorry also for the woman in his thoughts. He wasn't sure why but he felt extreme guilt towards her.
"You don't deserve to cry.." he told himself "pick yourself up get the hell out of here you murderer." The word made him feel weak. He got up, slowly, but could not hold back a wave of tears that poured out of his eyes leaving a few clean streaks on his face. He didn't know why he was so mean to himself. He does have to get out of here though. He can't walk outside in the blood covered clothes he was wearing now. He found a small dresser in the corner of the room and found a few clothes to wear as well as clean the blood off him. Dried blood still painted his cheeks and hands red, however. If he did see anyone he would have to keep walking and if they asked he was hunting.
He opened up the door and stepped out into the blackness of night to find himself in a small community of houses. He looked up the road a bit and saw the Novac Dinosaur. "This close to home?" He thought. He had never had a "dark moment" this close to home before. He looked around making sure no one could see and quickly made his way to his second floor apartment. As soon as he closed the door behind him he ran to his fridge, grabbed a water and began washing the blood off of himself. Once clean, Johnn sat on his bed and closed is eyes trying to convince himself it was only a dream. He thought of the angel that haunted his thoughts and found bliss. He could block out his troubles if he was able to see her. After about a half an hour, Johnn was able to block out the guilt and fall asleep.
