Hi everyone, :) it's CLACECRAZY!

This is my first fanfic, I did it for a school project, so these first seven chapters are all predone, and let me know if I should continue the story or it's soooo bad I should remove it from the site... Should it be the latter, I would like to know immediately...

Anyways, read and review! Rip on me if you would like to, I know I've done it a couple of times before... But then I went to therapy so if that says anything about ripping on people...

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I did not have the technology to find this world before the lovely Cassandra Clare did, so it is hers. Not mine. I have the privilege to borrow it's juiciness to quench my dry brain and add my own touch.

Jace

It was a nice day outside. My somber mood contradicted it's lightness, as if all the gray clouds had left the sky to follow me alone. Of course I used to have these days often. But that was before I met Clary, and most of our relationship, when we were 'siblings.' It's strange to think of now. The way I tried to handle it was stupid and absurd. Those silly, juvenile excuses I made to stay close to her, when she was able to control herself, and stay masked. To DATE Simon. Simon's not really a fan of me. It was worse before though, when Clary and I were "siblings" and she preferred me to him still. It also didn't help that I enjoyed pissing him off immensely. My unbecoming impulses were returning, but now at least, I know there's something wrong. I have Sebastian in my head. He casts a long dark shadow into my thoughts and soul. And I can't get him out. Hitting the elevator button to go up to my room, I continued pondering. No matter how much I love Clary, damn it, Sebastian can influence that too. I lost the desire to stab her when she's with me, thank the lord. However, I haven't been home to her since the Lilith incident, and she's going to be furious with me. It's all Sebastian's fault. He has his way of turning it all against me, and I'm fearful for when he might gain complete control of me. Shuddering with loathing for the demon in my brain, I walked down the hallway to my room. I nudged the door open, and then halted, as if I had hit a brick wall. Clarissa, Sebastian hissed in my brain. I hated that, how he had reacted to her quicker than I had.

"Clarissa," I said her full name as Sebastian had, it slipping out without me thinking. Damn! She would always know something was wrong when I called her that. She spun around, and her red curls flounced, her face angelic.

"Jace," she breathed, stunned. Did I look that bad? I tried to catch a glance of myself in the mirror. Seeing that I was avoiding her gaze, she narrowed her eyes. Folding her arms across her chest, she was quick to lose the shock and become furious. "Where have you BEEN?"

Knowing I stood in a protective crouch, I tried to relax, but without result. Usually I had nerves being around her, but now, it was for a different reason. Sebastian could take that away from me too. Beginning a response, I found my inhabitant already had.

"What's it to you?"

She gaped at me. I recognized my face muscles aligning into an amused expression. Dear god! How did he have complete control over me? Losing all vulnerability, Clary shook with anger. "What's WRONG with you? Why are you DOING this? I thought . . . I . . ." she looked hurt, and puzzled. It tore at my heart.

"You thought what?" Oh son of a bitch. "Everything will go back to the way it was? Clarissa, darling. Are you delusional? I've changed. For the better, and so should you." She reddened, making her eyes greener. I – that is, Sebastian, shook the attraction. She opened her mouth, but was speechless. Her hand fluttered to her chest.

"What do you want, Clary?" My voice was cold, no longer amused, stiff. She paled, and scrambled for words.

"I don't want anything. Apparently same as you." she glared, somewhat resigned. "I just don't know who you are anymore." She dropped her gaze. "I should go."

"Yes, you should."

She shouldered past me, madder than I've ever seen her. Holding the doorknob, she spun around again.

"Are we done?"

At first I thought she meant with our fight, but then it soon dawned on me what was actually happening. Sebastian released his hold on me. He hadn't had it in mind to go this far. Taking the silence the wrong way, her eyes hardened.

"Goodbye Jace," she tried to leave, but in control of my body again, I caught her wrist. Turning her back around, I saw a glimpse of her pain. I felt the urge to hold her, and kiss her until it went away. I backed off, knowing we'd been down THIS road before, and I only could manage her name.

"Clary . . ."

Recovering her pride, disgust was clear in her eyes. "Are you bipolar?" she hissed with as much ice as she could muster. Yanking her wrist away, she slammed the door in my face, stomping off. Not before I saw her expression. Disbelief, torment, and a sense of finality that made me realize, she wouldn't, no COULDN'T forgive me, this time.

Please READ and REVIEW!

With love,

Clacecrazy