Muggles Association of Columbia
Written purely out of love and
admiration for the Harry
Potter series.
FADE IN:
INT. AMBER'S DORM- DAY
AMBER, 19, red hair pulled back in a loose ponytail. Wearing
an over-sized t-shirt for the Weird Sisters and ripped
jeans.
She exits her bedroom into the living area of her dorm,
carrying her backpack over her shoulder.
She looks over at the kitchen, goes to her cabinet grabs a
few cookies out of a bag.
JESSICA, 20, a beauty queen wanna-be with perfect hair and
clothes that would look at home on the cover of a magazine.
She is also one of Amber's roommates.
She walks into the kitchen and grabs a soda from the fridge.
JESSICA
(mockingly)
Hey Amber, going to your nerd
meeting?
AMBER
I am Jessica- by the way how's your
newest pimple doing- ooh doesn't
look too good.
JESSICA
Jealous much? You know we all can't
be beautiful, we need smart people
too.
Jessica looks at the cookies in Amber's hand.
JESSICA
Are you sure you want to eat those?
Amber takes a big bite out of a cookies and swallows.
AMBER
Yup, are you sure you still want
that personality? If you act
quickly you might still be able to
trade it in for another.
JESSICA
Oh, like you're such a gem, at
least I have a boyfriend. I'm sure
someday you'll find someone who
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 2.
JESSICA (cont'd)
likes you, that is if you hit him
with a love spell.
Jessica turns around the walks back to her room as if she
just scored a victory, Amber pulls her cellphone out of her
back pocket.
AMBER
It's love potion, Muggle, not
spell.
Amber points her phone/wand at Jessica.
AMBER
(whispers)
Colloshoo
Jessica's feet inexplicably adhere to the ground, she stares
down at her feet trying to pull them off the ground, yanking
on her legs in an attempt un-stick herself.
Amber looks at her with amusement before flicking her phone
away and breaking the spell.
AMBER
(to herself)
If only you knew what I was really
capable of.
Jessica looks at the ground for a moment, searching for the
source of her sticking feet, before going into her room with
as much dignity as possible.
Amber continues to smirk and bites into another cookie.
INT. MUGGLE'S MEETING- DAY
About nine college students sit on bean bags, couches and
chairs in a big circle.
GLORIA, 20, has crazy, curly hair with thick glasses that
slip down on her nose. Her quaint dress if folded beneath
her.
She sits next to DRAKE, 22, with his hair expertly quaffed
and outrageously colorful clothes. He laughs with CRYSTAL,
19, who has the big, innocent eyes of a doe.
IRENE, 21, looks professional with short hair and clothes
that make her look closer to a professor than a student. She
is the Headmistress of the Muggle Association of Columbia.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 3.
Amber sits somewhat isolated, between VALARIE and ANNIE, she
leans back in her chair with her arms crossed, almost as if
she were being forced to attend the meeting.
QUINN, 20, with spiked hair, wearing a well-fitting sweater
and ripped jeans. He and HAYDEN sit on the other side of
Irene, pretending that they are almost too cool for everyone
else.
Irene clears her throat and all of them are focused upon
her, waiting anxiously.
IRENE
Right, so the cupcake this week is
cookies and cream, and-
CRYSTAL
Just tell us the riddle.
IRENE
Okay, here's the riddle. A ten foot
ladder is attached to a ship. The
rungs are one foot apart. If the
water rises at the rate of one foot
an hour, how long will it take for
the water to cover the ladder?
Every looks deep in thought, except Quinn who leans back
with a satisfied look on his face. Amber looks at Quinn and
scowls, irritated by his superior attitude.
IRENE
Quinn, do you want to answer?
QUINN
No, I think I'll give everyone else
a chance.
AMBER
(grumbles)
Show off.
Quinn looks at her and crosses his arms.
QUINN
You want to take a stab at it?
AMBER
Hey,I'm not in Ravenclaw, what do
you want from me?
Quinn smirks and looks around.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 4.
QUINN
Anyone else want to try?
Everyone shakes their heads, Amber just glares at him.
QUINN
The answer is never- the ladder is
attached to the ship and as the
water rises so does the ship.
IRENE
Good job Quinn, you win the
cupcake- again.
Irene hands Quinn the bag with the cupcake. Hayden gives
Quinn a high five, Gloria comforts a disappointed Crystal,
Amber crosses her legs and looks at Irene as if it were her
fault.
Irene gestures to the rest of the group.
IRENE
The floor is open if anyone would
like to discuss anything Harry
Potter related.
CRYSTAL
I read this Dramione fan fiction
last night and it's just- I am so
mad, because it completely made fun
of Hufflepuffs.
A few of the students look at each other, one struggles to
suppress a snort.
GLORIA
You Gryffindor's think it's so
funny, but look at Cedric Diggory
or Tonks, they just as brave and
smart as any Ravenclaw or
Gryffindor.
AMBER
(sarcastically)
Yup, you two absolutely terrifying.
Irene glares at Amber and then quickly claps her hands to
change the subject.
IRENE
Right, um, anything else people
would like to discuss- really
anything at all?
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 5.
VALARIE
I was re-reading The Goblet of Fire
last night and I began thinking
about what music each character
would listen to.
AMBER
(What is wrong with these
people?)
Really.
VALARIE
Yeah, I was thinking Draco would
listen to cool jazz.
ANNIE
No way, Draco would totally listen
to punk rock.
Amber looks up at the ceiling.
AMBER
Good god.
INT. DA'S HEADQUARTERS- DAY
Amber, Gloria, Irene, and Drake all enter a windowless room.
There are posters on the walls of quidditch teams and Uncle
Sam holding a wand and saying 'I want you for Dumbledore's
Army'.
Chairs and couches are scattered around the room, there is a
large bookshelf with copies of Defense Against the Dark Arts
and Curses for Dummies.
Amber sits down in a chair and crosses her arms.
AMBER
God, I hate those meetings.
DRAKE
(sarcastically)
We had no idea.
AMBER
Irene, remind me again why we waste
time on those stupid Muggles?
Irene grabs a quidditch magazine off the table and sinks
back into her chair.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 6.
IRENE
Because Amber, the DA needed a base
in Chicago and the best way to
cover up a bunch of teenagers
waving wands is to start a Harry
Potter club.
AMBER
Muggles Association of Columbia.
Yeah that's not an obvious way of
saying 'wizards, what no, we're
totally normal, we're Muggles, see
it's even in our name'.
Gloria and Drake sit next each other on the couch.
GLORIA
I like the name, it sounds really
sophisticated.
AMBER
You would Gloria, you actually like
the books.
GLORIA
Hey-
AMBER
They're also mostly fiction, I mean
everyone knows that Ron Weasley
died during his fifth year.
GLORIA
It's not a crime to enjoy a good
book.
AMBER
It was reckless, writing a book
about magic, telling basically the
entire world our secrets-
IRENE
It's pretty ingenious actually, if
anyone sees something, it's a Harry
Potter stunt. No one's looking for
something that they've already
decided doesn't exist.
AMBER
Like it's so hard to blend into the
Muggle world?
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 7.
Amber pulls out her wand and throws it up in the air,
staring at it intently. The wand transforms into a phone as
it lands in her hand.
AMBER
See.
DRAKE
Says the girl who came to the first
day of school wearing overalls and
a parka.
AMBER
Excuse me for not being a
Muggle-born, Drake.
GLORIA
You're excused.
DRAKE
We can't all be awesome.
Gloria and Drake high-five. Amber rolls her eyes, and looks
over at Irene.
AMBER
Please tell me we're practicing
today.
Irene looks at Amber with slight amusement.
IRENE
Let me do the update from the DA
first.
All three of them refocus their attention on Irene, eager
for any news.
IRENE
According to Flynn, most of the
Death Eater activity in the
North-East has quieted down. A few
aurors suspect that they're heading
West to form a base in California.
GLORIA
I don't know why they bother
anymore, Voldemort's dead- he's
been dead for years, it's over.
Amber shakes her head thoughtfully.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 8.
AMBER
No, Voldemort may have been in
charge, but the Death Eaters
function like a hydra, you cut off
a head, and two more grow in it's
place.
IRENE
Flynn wants us to be on the look
out for any activity in case they
decide to pass through Chicago.
Gloria sits up straight, biting her lip.
GLORIA
Do you think we're ready Irene, if
any of them decided to-
AMBER
Start killing random Muggles?
IRENE
Amber-
GLORIA
Don't say stuff like that.
Amber stands up with frustration, tosses her phone and
transforms it into a wand again.
AMBER
You can't pretend like it wouldn't
happen. Look, if you want to see if
you're ready, fight me.
Gloria looks shocked, but she stands up, determined and a
little angry.
IRENE
Amber, can you relax for one
minute?
AMBER
Irene, I spend every single day
surrounded by Muggles, pretending
that magic doesn't exist, that I'm
just a crazy nerd and that I'm not
special in any way whatsoever.
You'll forgive me if I need to blow
off some steam- 'kay?
Irene opens her mouth to argue and then nods in agreement.
Gloria takes out her wand, with a single wave all the
furniture moves against the back wall.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 9.
Drake and Irene move to the side, Amber and Gloria face each
other. They both to each other and stare with their wands
prepared, waiting for the other to make the first move.
AMBER
Stupefy.
Gloria jumps out of the way.
GLORIA
Calvario.
Amber ducks, a few hairs falling onto the floor.
AMBER
Seriously, the Hair Loss Curse! Is
that the best you can-
GLORIA
Glacius.
Amber dives to the floor, ice shattering against the back
wall.
AMBER
That's more like it- ascendio.
Gloria avoids the spell.
AMBER
Expelliarmus.
Gloria's wand goes flying out of her hand. Amber picks it
up, walks over to her, practically shoving the wand into
Gloria's hand.
AMBER
Let's go again.
DRAKE
Guys-
Irene tries to step between Amber and Gloria.
IRENE
You won, isn't that enough?
AMBER
I said, let's go again.
GLORIA
Amber-
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 10.
DRAKE
Guys, I have a headache.
They all look at the shaking Drake, he is sweating and his
eyes look wild.
They all spring into action, Irene waves her wand and brings
a chair behind him. He sits down, Gloria grabs a pillow and
carefully places it next to him.
Amber pulls the coffee table in front of him and shoves some
magazines aside. Irene goes over to the cabinet and pulls
out a crystal ball.
She places it on the table, Drake straights up immediately,
allows his hands to hover over the crystal ball. It begins
to flash rapid colors, all their eyes are fixed to it's
surface.
DRAKE
(hypnotic)
The King may be dead, but the
Prince's raise will be quickened.
All is not as it appears, bonds
will be tested and magic pushed to
its limits. One secret will destroy
while another will heal. The time
is drawing near, the choice between
one's blood or that of another.
Choose wisely.
Drake collapses onto the couch with a groan. Amber and Irene
lock eyes, both concern over the prophecy. Gloria grabs a
mug off the coffee table.
GLORIA
Aqua Eructo.
The mug fills with water, Gloria hands it to Drake. Amber
and Irene stand up and step away from the couch so Drake
won't hear them.
AMBER
New lines to the prophecy?
IRENE
I don't get it, for weeks, all he
says is stuff about things not
being as they appear, bonds being
tested, and secrets and now-
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 11.
AMBER
The King may be dead.
IRENE
That has to be Voldemort, but a
Prince?
AMBER
And what was the stuff about one's
blood or that of another?
IRENE
I don't know, but I don't like it.
FADE OUT.
END EPISODE 1
