AN: What exactly happened when Edward found out, or so he thought, that Bella was dead? Here's a songfic on how I think he reacted. Takes place toward the end of New Moon.
Forgiven
"He's at the funeral." the boy growled.
My silver cell phone fell out of my hands, almost as if it were in slow motion.
It couldn't be.
Couldn't save you from the start
Love you so it hurts my soul
Can you forgive me for trying again?
Your silence makes me hold my breath
Time has passed you by
It was as if my life was flashing right before my eyes.
No… that was an incorrect term. It was as if Bella's life was flashing before me.
Oh, for so long, I've tried to shield you from the world
Oh, you couldn't face the freedom on your own
Here I am
Left in silence
Everything I imagined her doing: getting married, ageing, being happy… just withered away.
It was over.
You gave up the fight
You left me behind
All that's done's forgiven
You'll always be mine
I know deep inside
All that's done's forgiven
I leaned against the alley walls, squinting at the sky.
Was it a trick? A prank? Maybe Bella really was alive… maybe I could…I could...
I watched the clouds drifting away
Still the sun can't warm my face
I know it was destined to go wrong
You were looking for the great escape
To chase your demons away
I hissed at myself. It was true. And Bella was gone.
Even thinking the words it stung my throat.
I tried to view reality, a homeless man walked by me… though my brain was too slurred to see what he really looked like.
I pulled my wallet slowly out of my pocket, and without looking up from the floor I dropped in on the ground. It was better this way.
Oh, for so long, I've tried to shield you from the world
Oh, you couldn't face the freedom on your own
Here I am
Left in silence
The Earth seemed different in a way. Like everything was shifted.
I kept repeating the truth in my head. Bella is gone. She's never coming back. she's never…
You gave up the fight
You left me behind
All that's done's forgiven
You'll always be mine
I know deep inside
All that's done's forgiven
I mentally kicked myself. I didn't have the strength to accept it.
Her perfect self being, the rose in her cheeks. Her floral scent, her initiative… just gone.
How could God let someone so pure and loving leave the earth? Bella's life wasn't over yet.
How was it that I, a demon born over 100 years ago, was still here, while her life was taken before it began?
I've been so lost since you've gone
Why not me before you?
Why did fate deceive me?
I loved her but it wasn't enough. Why couldn't she take me with her when she jumped from that cliff?
None of it mattered anymore. I couldn't stay here and bear another minute on this Earth. Without Bella… it was just a dark night, with no depth.
Everything turned out so wrong
Why did you leave me in silence?
I started to run. The shore wasn't far away.
"Only a bit longer my love." I whispered to myself. "I'll be gone with you soon enough."
You gave up the fight
You left me behind
All that's done's forgiven
You'll always be mine
I know deep inside
All that's done's forgiven
Ignoring the pain. I slipped myself into the cold ocean, and went to the one place I could get what I wanted.
AN: Please don't flame if Edward's reaction wasn't realistic or something. I did my best.
This was kind of choppy...oh well :)
I wrote another one, a sister songfic to this, it is called Somewhere, so you can read that also if you want Bella's POV.
The song is by Within Temptation, you can listen to it free at the imeem website.
Reviews would be great :)
