But this is something new, because I don't know what I'm s'posed to be dealing with. You don't talk to me about anything anymore, and its killing me. I can help you, I can stand with you when nobody else does, but where am I meant to stand when I don't know what to save you from. You're my world, and I love you, but I need you to open up one more time; because I can save you from having weeks of nothing. I can save you from whatever you need, if only you'd let me.
If Only You'd Let Me
Chapter One
Watching Her Slip
JJ
I watched from my office as she pretended to be working on a file. I knew the truth though, it was the same file she'd had in front of her for the entire day. She's changed recently, she was retreating into herself and I wasn't sure why. Garcia had noticed too and it was starting to concern us. This morning when she came in she looked tired and gaunt like she hadn't slept in centuries. There were bags under her eyes and she looked skinnier then what she normally was and what was definitely healthy. As I glanced back out into the bullpen, I was just in time to catch her jump as Morgan put a hand on her shoulder, scaring her to death. I frowned; she'd never been jumpy like that with the team before, this was a new, different version of Emily I'd never seen before and I didn't like it. I'm not to sure when it started, probably some months ago when she had started to casually decline offers to go out with the team or she stopped hanging out with me and Garcia on our 'girl's nights' but it'd started nonetheless and I was determined to fix it.
I wanted to know what was wrong, I wanted to help her. I hated seeing her like this, so unlike herself. It was disturbing how much she'd changed and how blind everyone else was to it. I suspect she's burning out, that the cases and long hours have finally started taking their toll on her. I just hope she's not pushed to far over the edge before I can help her. I don't want her to end up like Elle did; I don't think our team could handle something like that again. I know I couldn't, especially if it was Emily that lost it. It was hard to think though that the toughest woman I know, the one who can compartmentalize like nobody else could break under the pressure.
Watching her from my office I could see her attention slipping. I could see the way her shoulders slumped and how she bowed her head towards her desk, trying to hide away. She wanted to block out the rest of the world, block out the team, I could tell because she knew if she let us look at her properly, if we really looked we'd see the problem and for some reason she didn't want help. I don't understand why she wouldn't turn to us, we were her family after all but I couldn't push her, not yet. She had to admit she was slipping, she had to admit she needed help before anything productive could happen in the way of helping her through whatever it was that was going on.
I just hoped I'd be able to help her before it's too late because from the looks of it, it wouldn't be long until she broke completely.
