A/N: Hey, this is a sorry for not having updated in so long. I'm very sorry that I haven't been posting anything lately, but I promise you that I plan on finishing each of the stories that I have started once Junior year stops sucking so much.

Anyway, I wrote this as a first attempt at writing a (somewhat) comedic piece. I've always been more of a darker writer, so this is something completely different for me. Anyway I hope you enjoy.

This story takes place before chapter 1 of "The Impulsive Fate" and will clear up future chapters that involve Schrodinger.


"Ah, finally," Seras said as she collapsed on her bed and got under the sheets, "I can relax," She pulled the sheets around her and relaxed her tense body. She let out a long yawn before saying, "Sir Integra really loves working me hard."

"Zhen vhy don't you leave zis place," a young, heavy German accent came from beside her.

"Because, Sir Integra would send Alucard out to kill me. And even he wouldn't disobey a direct order from her." There was a silence before Seras realized someone was in the bed with her, "What the hell are you doing here?" She bolted up and stared at Schrodinger's face, "Aren't you supposed to be dead, or trapped in Alucard, or…something?"

"Vhat? Didn't you know? I am everyvhere. Unt novhere." he flashed her his huge, cute smile and, for a moment, she couldn't help but admire it.

Finally, she snapped back into reality, "Okay, then why is everywhere and nowhere currently my bed?" she screamed.

"Because. Vhat better place zhen vith anazah Vampire? And von such az yourself," he said, widening his grin.

"Get out," Seras ordered as she pushed him out of the bed, revealing that he was no longer wearing his Hitler youth-esque uniform. "Hey, what happened to your uniform?"

"Oh, zhat sing? Vell, I figured it vas time to let it go. Hitler iz dead, ze Major iz dead. I realized it vas a fruitless dream."

"That's good," Seras said as she got back under her covers, "a nice boy like you shouldn't hang around those holocaust crazed psychos."

"Hey, I vas bored. I don't veally hate or love anybody. I just kill whoevah iz zer vhen I'm doing vhat I do. Not unlike Alucard, no?"

"True," Seras said as she closed her eyes, "but you're still all a bunch of crazy Nazi bastards."

Suddenly she felt his arms wrapping around her waist from behind as he cuddled up next to her, "Vell, I'm no Nazi any more. I zhink I'm villing you help you guys out vor a bit."

"Then go talk to Sir Integra." she said annoyed.

"Oh," he purred, "but your zo varm. Vhy don't ve talk to Fraulien tomorrow? I can stay vith you till tomorrow night?"

"Do I really have a choice in the matter?"

"Not at all." He said excitedly. "And zhe more you rezist ze more I'll want to stay."

"And there's nothing I can say to stop you?"

"Not a zhing," he said cheerfully.

"Fine," she said defeated. "Just don't let me wake up to you cleaning yourself."

"Oh please," the boy said, "I'm only 'alf cat you know. Besides, I vouldn't do zomezhing like zhat infront of such a beautiful voman."

She chuckled, trying to hide her delight at his comment, "You realize that I'm quite a bit older than you, right?"

"Vell, actually," the boy said, dropping his playful tone, "if you zhink about it. I'm actually zheveral yearz your zenior conzidering I've been unt vampire for much longer zhen you."

"Just be quiet and go to sleep," Seras said, annoyed.

"Very vell," he said and he cuddled closer to the draculina.


"Well, well, well, isn't this quite the sight, policegirl?" Alucard's deep voice woke Seras up.

"What are you talking about?" she asked as she sat up. She pointed to Schrodinger's sleeping form, "You mean him? Well there wasn't much I could do about it……by the way he's not dead anymore."

"That's not what I'm talking about." Alucard said with a sadistic grin on his face.

"Then what is it?" Seras asked, growing steadily impatient.

"I never thought you liked the young ones."

"Huh?" Seras asked. Anyone could see that nothing was going on. She was sleeping in her… "OH MY GOD," Seras yelled as she realized she was completely naked, "What happened to my uniform?" She looked over and realized Schrodinger was no longer in her bed, but was instead sitting in the corner of the room with her uniform folded in his lap. "You git."

"Oh come on. It vas just a little fun," he said cheerfully. "Izn't zhis vat people are zapposed to do vhen zhey are attracted to von another?"

"Yeah," Seras yelled, "When they're adults, and when they are aware of what's actually going on."

"Vhatevah," the catboy said. "It vas a lot of fun."

"Listen, boy," Alucard said as he lifted him up by the collar, "I could care less if you do anything her as long as it doesn't disturb me, but if you keep doing this she won't stop complaining. And if she starts complaining to me I'll kill you so many times you will be too bored to come back. Got that?"

"Loud unt clear, zir Alucard," he said playfully.

"Good. And the same goes for Integra. But I'd be more worried about what she'll do to you if you get on her nerves than what I would do." he said.

"Right," the boy said and the two flashed each other their signature smile.

"Great," Seras said as she hid her body with her sheets, "now that you've become friends, Master, can you please bring me my clothes so I can make this pervert experience pain that'll make Hell feel like a summer breeze?"

"I don't know," Alucard said as he inspected the boy, "I don't know if I have it in me to interfere with love." he said jokingly before walking out of the room through the wall.

"Why you son of a bitch." she screamed.

"So," the boy said, instantly appearing beside under the sheets, "vhat do you vant to do, now?" he leaned against her suggestively and Seras realized he wasn't wearing any clothes now.

She clenched her fist, "Schrodinger," she screamed, reaching a degree of anger that not even Integra could match after receiving even the highest of insults.