Title: Careless Whisper

Author: FoxsDana

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Category/keywords: Dipper, Scully/Doggett romance, Angst, Scully POV, Scully/Doggett AU

Rating:PG

Dedication: To all of my avid readers who continue to support my work. And especially to Cassie who claimed that I could never see anything outside of a shipper mind point of view. This fic comes from the song "Careless Whisper" performed by Wham! from back in the 1980's.

Summary: During Mulder's abduction and his eventual retrieval and funeral, Scully sorts out her emotions about a man who she has come to trust and love. Now with Mulder's unexpected return, she is faced with a harsh decision.

Spoilers: Uhhh basically all of Season 8 up to "Dead/Alive"

Feedback: Please, I love it!

Archive: Sure, just let me know where it's going!

Disclaimer: The characters of the X-Files are not mine but the property of Chris Carter, 20th Century Fox and 1013 productions.

NOTE: This is my first attempt at a dipper fic so please be kind! Also in real life I am a SHIPPER and NOT a dipper. I merely wrote this as a challenge.


I'm never gonna dance again.

Guilty feet have got no rhythm

Though it's easy to pretend I know you're not a fool.

Should have known better than to cheat a friend

And waste the chance that I've been given.

So I'm never gonna dance again

The way I danced with you

Careless Whisper by Wham!


As I sit here staring at myself in the mirror, I can't help but wonder what I've done. That after eight years I would dare give my heart to anyone else. For seven years, I was with a man who taught me never to give up. Who taught me that there are more to things except science. Who showed what it was like to truly care for someone and risk anything to save them. Who took me on journeys I could never hope to accomplish on my own. Who never judged me or gave me reason to doubt. Who was my best friend and taught me what it was like to love again. And who gave me the one gift that I wished for more than anything. He has been my whole life these seven years and up until then I couldn't imagine my life without him. And yet now I have betrayed the one thing most precious to him: his trust. And in his eyes, I know there is nothing more terrible than that. So why did I do it?

When I first learned of him being taken from me, I was distraught but refused to lose hope. After all, he was the one who taught me never to give up, right? Not to mention that when I was taken myself, I was eventually returned. And I also had that little part of him inside of me reminding me of that. My hands wander briefly down to my stomach as I feel a tiny kick almost acknowledging what I'm saying. Whether it is a boy or a girl, he is still a part of my baby….our baby. So why did I betray him knowing that he was the father of this child?

As the months continued, I felt that little flame inside of me start to flicker. Searches turned up nothing and my nightmares only continued to increase in frequency. I was beginning to face the fact that I was going to be a single mother. That I would have to raise this child on my own. And I have to admit that I wasn't quite prepared for that. I just couldn't imagine a career as an FBI Agent along with raising a child on my own. I spent many a night crying myself to sleep and then having to go to work and act like nothing was wrong. But he did know that something was wrong. And he was always there to comfort me. I vowed I would never let another man get close to me but he did. He was there when I needed someone. He knew that I pined for Mulder and yet he still chose to be around me. He knew deep inside that I longed to be with another man and yet he didn't care. Now, what does that say about him?

I look in the reflection of the mirror and see a man sprawled out on my bed covered by a sheet. But it's not Fox Mulder. It's not the father of the child I am carrying. No, the man lying in my bed is my new partner, John Doggett. The man who is the complete opposite of Fox Mulder. The very kind of man that Mulder himself would despise. And a man who in fact I did not trust at the very beginning and who I felt threatened by. And yet here he is now….lying naked in my bed. In Mulder's eyes, I have literally slept with the enemy. For John Doggett, stands for everything that Mulder is against: authority, following protocol, thinking that the paranormal is just a bunch of mumbo jumbo. And a man who in all reality didn't even want to be on The X-Files. And yet through our cases together, he began to change his attitude much like mine did when I worked with Mulder. But in a way he also brought me back to my scientific side as well. Did he save me from becoming like Mulder and flushing an FBI career down the toilet? It was true that he brought up our solved case ratio, which looked good in the Bureau's eyes. So, what caused me to go into his arms and end up in this time and place?

As our cases continued, I grew to have more respect for John. Yes, I call him by his first name unlike Mulder who never liked me to use his. He started to prove that he was indeed right for this division and a reliable partner. At that time, he was also a good friend but Mulder still plagued my thoughts in all other aspects. And then came the day that changed everything. The day when Mulder was returned dead. I had received my wish of getting him back but yet it came with a price. I had him returned only to lose him again. And to stand there at his grave watching that coffin lowered all but killed me. There was no hope now. He was gone forever and now condemned to the cold ground. I now had to face the reality that I was going to be a single mother with a child who would never know his or her father. And the only thing that child would know is the legacy associated with his or her father's conspiracies and paranormal theories. Hardly anything I would like my child associated with. And that night, I made a decision that it was time to move on with my life.

I went to John's that night and confessed my feelings to him that I had been holding back all those months. And as I did I wondered just what he would do. After all, I wasn't just a single woman but a pregnant one. He had already dealt with one relationship and lost a son. Would he be willing to take a chance on something again? And not only that but this child would not be biologically his own. How would he handle such a thing? To my surprise, I found out that he felt the same toward me but had been afraid to admit them because of how I felt about Mulder. The last thing he wanted to do was interfere in something that I obviously cared about. And that was another thing I respected about John, he never tried to put down Mulder when he was around me. I think he began to realize that Mulder wasn't so crazy after all. And that night, he kissed me tenderly and made all of the loneliness and fear I had been feeling melt away. I just fell into his arms and he carried me to his bed where we made love. And that night changed everything. For the first time in many months, I felt human again. John was going to be a part of my life now and a father to my child. And for many months we were happy, indulging in each other's warmth and caresses. He even used to massage my feet on those nights when I was exhausted. And I used to laugh when he would talk to the baby through my stomach. He was truly fitting into the father profile, well.

Then came the day that changed everything. When we found out that Mulder wasn't really dead and could possibly be saved. That he was in…some kind of metabolic resting state. How could this be possible? As soon as I found this out, I wasted no time in doing everything I could to help him. I didn't even think twice about it. After all, this man had been a part of my life for seven years, right? And it was always my instinct to save people as well. Up to that point, nothing consumed me except finding that cure to save him. Nothing else mattered to me. The father of my child had to be saved! As I sat there next to his hospital bed, holding his hand, I kept praying that he would come back to me. And then, just like an answered prayer, he did. I cried and laughed with him as we always did in the past. I had Mulder back! But then as I raised my head and turned toward the window, I saw John's face. And that was when all the reality came flooding back to me. Of what John and I had shared since Mulder's death. Of those intimate nights we had spent together and the promises that had been made. Oh god. The look on John's face was enough recognition for me to know that he was thinking the exact same thing as well as the uncertainties. Was this over for us?

That night, I went home to be alone in my thoughts. Not only was I faced with John's and my relationship but I was with Mulder's and mine as well. How would he react knowing that he was a father? He had been gone all this time not knowing that I was carrying his child. He had always been a bachelor since I'd known him and this would be a drastic change in his life. It was true he had said when he agreed to donate his sperm via invitro fertilization that he didn't mind. But he had also been told before he was abducted that it hadn't taken. What would he think now? And worse yet, what would he think if he ever found out about John and I? Why did I have to be plagued by two men that I cared about deeply? Should any woman have to go through this? I mean it's bad enough caring about one man but two? If my mother knew she would call me crazy as would Missy if she were still alive. Then again, maybe Missy wouldn't. She always had a different point of view then normal people. Oh god I wish she was here with me now.

John showed up at my door last night knowing that I was upset. And as usual he comforted me in my sorrow. Our relationship is not just something I can toss away. I chose to be with him because I thought Mulder was dead. I can't blame John for that. So, that means I can't blame myself either, right? So, why am I sitting here crying and full of doubt after spending another night with him? What do I tell Mulder? And most importantly…what do I tell myself?