AN: This fic was inspired by all the Murder She Wrote episodes I watched growing up, and the shot from Neil Simon where Shawn and Juliet track down Clive and Barbie. I thought they worked well as a team in that episode and the idea of them running a detective agency really stuck with me. Thanks for reading!
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"Muscum Falls, Michigan. This quaint little town just an hour and a half northwest of Grand Rapids is the perfect picture of Americana. Founded after the Civil War by Union General, Muscum T. Lassiter, this little town has survived through the years. There's nothing really special about the town. The falls are pretty and offer adventure for seasoned hikers, but the town has no real claim to fame. That suits the local sheriff, Carlton Lassiter, just fine. Lassiter would rather be sheriff in a town where people are there because they liked the town, not because they wanted to take a gander at the world's largest ball of twine." Shawn read from the morning's newspaper. "Seriously, when is Lassie gonna update his stock photo with the newspaper? It's been seventeen years since he had a mustache." He flipped the paper around to show Juliet the faded picture of a very young Carlton Lassiter."It's a nice article, despite the picture," Juliet reasoned with him as she set a plate of pancakes on the table."Nice, yes, but it doesn't talk about the best thing that Muscum Falls has to offer," Shawn protested, putting down the paper and piling pancakes on his plate, layering butter and syrup between each one."Not that article, but this one does." Juliet pointed to the other story on the front page. "Spencer and Spencer Single Out Suspect in Arson Case.""Lassie was so mad about that one," Shawn grinned."To be fair, he had the right suspect; he just didn't have any way to prove it," Juliet reminded her husband."He's just jealous because I stole you away." Shawn took a bite of pancakes. "You didn't steal me away. I decided that solving cases with my husband was more important than becoming the next sheriff of Muscum Falls."Shawn smiled around a mouthful of pancakes and gave her hand a squeeze. After he swallowed, he pointed to a third article, "Shame they're selling the museum. I worked hard to find those dinosaur remains.""You and Gus worked hard," Juliet corrected him, sipping her coffee. "Besides, the museum is staying there, just new owners." She paused. "Which might help, because the last time I was there, the place was a dump.""That would be because I had the map upside-down and drove to the Muscum Falls Sanitation and Garbage Dump," Shawn teased. "Eat your pancakes," Juliet pointed at his plate, fighting to hide her smile, "we have to be to the office by ten.""We're the only private detective agency in town," Shawn reminded her, "if they can't wait leisurely for us to eat our breakfast at a normal rate then they'll have to go someplace else."OoO OoO OoOLassiter threw the newspaper down on his desk as he stalked through the station. "Two bit muckrakers think they can misquote me," he growled as he poured himself a cup of coffee.Buzz, his deputy, looked up from his desk and didn't say anything. Lassiter was always like this when the Spencers solved a case; he would rant for the morning and then be back to his usual, less grumpy self after lunch."I had the right guy, and if I'd been given another fifteen minutes of peace in interrogation I would have gotten him to crack." Lassiter pointed a finger at McNab. "Next time Spencer wants to ask me a question, you tell him to shove it until I'm done interrogating the suspect."McNab nodded dutifully and then changed the subject. "How is Ms. Viccellio doing?" He knew Lassiter always visited the corner store to see Marlowe Vicellio and get his first cup of coffee. The mood he was in combined with the mug of station coffee the sheriff was drinking were a big indication he hadn't been there before work."She's fine," Lassiter snapped, sipping his coffee. "At least she was yesterday. She was up visiting her brother this morning." He had felt a little bad about having to arrest Adrian Viccellio, but the kid had pulled a knife on Lassiter after being pulled over for a traffic violation. That combined with the drugs found in his car had put Viccellio away for the next three to five years. But Marlowe understood - at least he hoped she did.McNab watched Lassiter have his moment of inner monologue and then coughed softly. The small sound jerked the older man out of his thoughts and he scowled. "Don't you have reports to file?" he grumbled and took a seat at his own desk.McNab ducked his head and went back to his work. Lassiter gave him one last look and then settled in to writing his own report on the arson case the Spencers had helped solve.Lassiter didn't like having to work with the Spencers. No he took that back. He didn't mind working with Juliet; she was smart and a good detective, but he never could figure out why she would throw that all away to work with Shawn Spencer. Despite Lassiter's distaste for working with the private investigators, Mayor Vick was over the moon with their results and hired them on any case Lassiter couldn't solve overnight. It didn't help matters any that Shawn was the son of the former mayor, Henry Spencer, who still had a good amount of clout with the town council. Lassiter frowned; it just annoyed him to no end."Sir," McNab's voice broke into Lassiter's thoughts again."What?" Lassiter glanced up. He gave an audible groan when he saw Lyin' Ryan Bainsworth standing in the doorway looking expectantly between the two cops."Mr. Bainsworth says he has some information for you," Buzz spoke up while Lassiter just continued to glare at Ryan."Honestly, Sheriff, this won't take too much of your time," Ryan started talking at his mile a minute pace. "I just came down here to tell you about the crime that I overheard being planned."Lassiter rolled his eyes. "Bainsworth, I assure you, no crime is going to be committed. Just like the assassination attempt on McNab last year and the lawn mower theft last week.""No, this time it's real!" Ryan protested, holding up his hands as Lassiter stood to escort him from the building. "I have proof!""What's the proof, then?" Lassiter asked."I was outside of town and I saw a man with a gun and then I heard him arguing and then he said that 'they needed to end this' and then I ran," Ryan told him solemnly. "That's your proof?" Lassiter looked at him in disbelief."I know it sounds fake, but it was real, I swear!" Ryan pleaded. "You have to believe me.""Over the past year, you've sent me on thirty-two separate wild goose chases and none of them turned out to be actual crimes," Lassiter reminded him. "Forgive me for not believing you on this one.""Then what am I supposed to do about what I heard?" Ryan asked, looking sad."There's a private detective agency in town," Lassiter informed him. "Take it up with the Spencers."McNab gave Ryan a reassuring look and led him out of the station. When he returned, Lassiter was back to working on his reports."Are you sure sending him to the Spencers was a good idea?" Buzz asked."Juliet is smart," Lassiter muttered, "not smart enough to avoid marrying that charlatan, but smart enough to turn a nut like Bainsworth away."OoO OoO OoOJuliet was smart; she was smart enough to know that clients paid good money for their services and even if Ryan only paid them the upfront charges, they would be able to pay some of their bills. That didn't mean she believed him."Where did you say you were when you heard these threats?" Juliet asked after Ryan relayed his story."Just north of Big Joe's Burgers. I stopped there and got a burger and fries with an extra-large coke. They put something on their fries that just makes you extra parched." He gave Shawn a serious look."I know; it's like they make them extra salty to drive their beverage business," Shawn agreed."The only thing past Big Joe's is the Muscum Falls Motel." Juliet brought their attention back to the case."Yes! I stopped at the motel for a break on my drive yesterday!" Ryan looked between the Spencers joyfully. "What's our next step?""We go check out the scene," Shawn grinned and grabbed his keys, heading for the door.OoO OoO OoOMuscum Falls had only one place for visitors to stay. The Muscum Falls Motel wasn't technically in the town limits, but it was better than parking at the truck stop and hoping you weren't attacked by raccoons. Ryan led the Spencers around to the back of the motel to a set of bushes. "It was right here. This is where I heard them," he pointed to a trampled spot."Ryan, what were you doing in the bushes?" Shawn had been wondering what the compulsive liar had been doing all the way out here, but the bushes part really threw him."Well, with the extra-large coke I had to," he glanced at Juliet and then leaned in and whispered to Shawn, "I had to relieve myself." He gave a meaningful glance to the ground. Juliet's eyes went wide and she wrinkled her nose as she stepped off to the side."This is where you heard the threats?" Shawn asked, glancing around. He couldn't see a lot through the bushes, just a couple of rooms at the motel."Right through there," Ryan pointed towards the motel. "I mean, it was dark so I couldn't really see who it was, but I thought someone was holding a gun."
As if on cue, the door to the motel room swung open and Shawn narrowed his eyes trying to see who would come out.Juliet pushed a branch out of her line of sight. She gasped when they saw a man and woman leave the room. The woman was Jessica Miller, the current owner of the museum. The man was her security guard, Mark Wilkens, but Jessica wasn't married and Mark was married to his wife Laurie."Maybe they're just having a business meeting," Shawn whispered, just as Mark and Jessica shared a passionate kiss. Shawn reached over to shield Juliet's eyes from it. "So, not a business meeting," he concluded.Juliet pulled his hands away, "there's nothing we can do about that. Looks like it wasn't a death threat after all, Ryan.""Just a troubled woman seeking solace in the arms of a man she shouldn't," Shawn agreed. He glanced at his watch. "Well, this wasn't a total bust; we can swing by Big Joe's for lunch."OoO OoO OoO"Lassie!" Shawn called the sheriff's name out in sing-song as he and Juliet strode into the station later that afternoon.Lassiter rolled his eyes and looked up from his report, narrowing his eyes as he saw a large styrofoam cup in the private detective's hand and then frowning when he saw that Spencer's other hand was clasped with Juliet's. "What do you want, Spencer?" he growled."We just wanted to keep you up to date on that case you sent our way," Shawn replied, grinning and taking a sip of his coke. He took a seat in the chairs in front of the sheriff's desk."You listened to that lunatic?" Lassiter gave Juliet a look of disbelief."We have bills to pay, too, Carlton," she told him firmly, putting a hand on Shawn's shoulder."What forsaken place did Bainsworth drag you out to this time?" Lassiter asked, avoiding her cool gaze."He didn't drag us anywhere," Shawn protested. "His tips took us out to the motel.""Sweet Justice," Lassiter murmured under his breath and rubbed his temples to ward off the headache he could feel growing in the base of his skull."Where we found an illicit affair!" Shawn ignored Lassiter's mutterings."An affair?" Lassiter repeated, shaking his head. "Spencer, although affairs can lead to divorce and alimony payments, I can't arrest someone for being unfaithful." He grabbed his reports off his desk and headed for the filing cabinet. "Which means I never would have investigated Bainsworth's 'case' in the first place.""He's just jealous," Shawn whispered to Juliet. "Right, Spencer," Lassiter rolled his eyes, "I'm jealous that you ran around at the advice of a pathological liar and wasted your time coming down here to gloat." He stacked his files together and then gave Juliet a smile. "Now excuse me; I have sheriff duties to attend to.""Someday, Lassie," Shawn called after him as he headed for the filing cabinets. "Someday you're going to believe Ryan!"OoO OoO OoOKen was whistling softly as he headed across the foggy parking lot early Thursday morning. It was just after six and Ken was making sure that all the carts had been collected the night before and that there wasn't any trash lying around. His boss, Burton Guster was adamant that his parking lot be spotless. Guster's was the local grocery store; in fact it was the only grocery store for fifty miles.There was a lone shopping cart that a lazy shopper had left by a cluster of trees. Ken shook his head at the fact the person couldn't be bothered to return the cart to a cart corral just one line of parking spaces over. As he got closer he noticed there was someone propped up against the trees."Excuse me," Ken called out tentatively. "Excuse me, the store isn't open until seven." There was no response and Ken ventured closer. He squinted, trying to figure out who was leaning against the tree. The person was definitely a man, and he was wearing some kind of uniform. "Sir?" As Ken got closer he could smell alcohol. Great, a drunk, Ken would have to call Sheriff Lassiter and Mr. Guster would be furious.Ken reached out to tap the man on the shoulder and that's when he noticed the knife sticking out of the man's chest. The silent morning shrouded in fog was pierced by a girlish scream.
