That Over Processed Magic


They bonded over tea.

Julie liked tea, which was unusual for a girl of her character, unless it was the cute pink extra-sugary tea that they serve some ten euros a cup down at the local tourist trap café.

Klaus was a self-proclaimed tea connoisseur, but in all honesty, his favorite thing to drink was coffee, and vodka when his parents were away (it was rather anti-nationalistic, but he had taken a little piece of Russia home with him).

"Charmed," she giggled, pretending to curtsy and attracting some strange glances from people around them. "I organized this whole event, you know! I think it's super-important that we all stay in touch."

His eyes strayed to Shun and Alice, exchanging smiles over sodas and dango. "That's all well and good…but maybe you should've put a bit more effort into coordinating the catering?"

Her practiced smile faltered, "Jealousy is unbecoming," and she ushered him towards a seat at a very noisy table, sandwiched in-between Chan Lee and that odd Danma fellow. "This table's theme: Lunch in France! Have a croissant!" She hit him on the shoulder with a piece of bread.

Klaus frowned unhappily, and resolved to never visit a 'Brawler Reunion' again.


The next time they met was at a bookstore, of all places. It was nighttime in New York City.

"Family visit," He explained, having gotten lost on his way to the Classic Literature section.

"Vacation!" She chirped, thumbing through a trashy-looking novel with a half-dressed man on the cover.

"I never took you for the type to enjoy reading."

"Tee hee, well…I never took you for the type to visit NYC."

"Why not?"

"You seem so, like…traditional. Y'know?" She twisted to check her reflection in the metal bar of a magazine rack.

"I suppose."

"Hey, are you gonna, like, be in the city for a while?"

"I'm leaving in two weeks."

"OK, gimme your number, and we can do lunch, or something!" She tore off the corner of the page she was examining and handed it to him.

Looking rather scandalized at her outright desecration, he pulled a gold-plated fountain pen out of his pocket and wrote down his phone number in flowery script.

She snatched up the paper and stuffed it down her shirt. "See ya later, Klaus!" She spun with a wave.

"At least she's buying it." He mumbled.


After a while, Alice stopped returning his calls.

It was rainy season, and gray afternoons blurred together like a thousand dreary Mondays. He let the whole world go to voicemail.


"He's a nice guy," Julie said impudently, needling Alice with sharpshooted looks. "Cute, too."

"Maybe you should date him," snapped Runo. "Leave Alice alone. She's a big girl, she can do whatever she wants."

Julie stuck out her tongue. "I'm just sayin-"

"Please," Alice closed her eyes, "You two are giving me a migraine."

"Whatever, I'm outta here." Julie stood. "Don't, like, wait up for me, kay?"

"Take your time," Runo said. "I'm sure there's lots for you to do in Moscow. Try not to burn through your wallet."

"No promises!"

Runo shook her head, and turned her attention back to cleaning up the mess that Julie had made.


"I'm sorry," she said suddenly, having run into him outside a store, "I don't really, like, know you that well, and I kinda destroyed your love life, and everything. Also, I saw a rip in your jacket last week but I didn't tell you."

Klaus smiled wryly. "Those white boots you were wearing yesterday? There was a scuff on the left one."

"Hmph, well, now we're half-even!"

He quieted.

"If you really, like, love her…"

"What of love?"

She grinned slyly. "Aw, I see. Okay, I'll play along: Alice who?"

"No, you misunderstand. I do care for Alice, but…maybe even I don't even know the gravity of the situation."

"There you go, talking all, like, scholarly-ey again. I hope you didn't come on to her with pseudo love-equations, or something."

"…"

"OMG! You didn't! That's sooo lame!"

"I did not communicate my interest with 'psuedo love-equations!' Do you even know what pseudo means?"

"Not really."

"At least you're honest."

"I'm a lot of things!" She flipped her hair over her shoulder. "But seriously, I gotta get back to Alice's house. Text me, or something."

"Alright."

She smacked his shoulder. "And don't be such a pushover! You have to learn to be, like, more of a go-getter if you ever wanna get some. Tee hee hee!"

She trounced off with fifty pounds of bagged couture in tow, leaving a blushing Klaus in her wake.

"Maybe I need to rethink this whole gentleman thing…"


In the end, he decided that maybe they were sort-of-friends, kind of in that awkward zone between I-don't-really-know-your-last-name-but-I-can-call-you-whenever, but it was a comfortable kind of awkward.

She had her boyfriends, and he had his girlfriends, and in between Acts she talked to him in staged whispers, and improvised with her own brand of glitter.

"It's fate," She would grin -

and fortune smiled.


||a/n :: choppy and incomplete-ish (but this is a ONESHOT), and Klaus is too British, and these two don't flow well, but it was a fun experience all the same xD