This is my first lotr fic. . This is AU-ish

PAIRINGS: estel (aragorn)/ legolas, elladan/elrohir, glorfindel/ elrond, haldir/erestor, galadriel/celeborn

SUMMARY: The Elves are leaving Middle Earth for the Grey Havens. Estel is unsure of whether to go with his Elven family, or stay and be king of Gondor. The Peredhil family had been through hard times-Celebrian leaving when Elrohir was sick and grieviously injured- but they've managed to find happiness again. Will seeing her again open up new wounds? Can they still be happy with her in their lives again?

WARNINGS: het, slash (m/m), m-preg , incest (elladan / elrohir)

NOTES: I'm calling Aragorn Estel in this fic. Also, I"ve changed his bloodline a bit; he actually is the son of Elrond, so he has Elf in him, and he's an immortal, but he still is Isildur's heir.

ELVISH TRANSLATIONS:

nin-melleth: my love

pen-melui: lovely one

Ada: daddy (refering to Elrond)

Adar: father (referring to Glorfindel)

Nanneth: mother

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JOURNEY OF THE HEART ARC

Part I; Parting In Such Sweet Sorrw

chapter 1: Two Young Lovers

"Estel, have you come to a decision yet? We're leaving these shores upon the dawn." Legolas' sharp blue eyes bored into Estel's back as the two princes stood under a bright waning moon and dark canopy of trees.

Estel sighed heavily and turned around, his dark eyes catching the blue ones and never looking away as he strode the few paces that separated them and captured Legolas's delicately pointed chin between his large, calloused fingers. "Nin-melleth, I love you so much it physically hurts. Were it in my power, I'd move the sun and stars should you but say the word. I hold my family dear to my heart. Elrond's blood flows in my veins; it is he that bore me in his womb. Yet, for all this, Isildur's blood also flows in my veins." He sighed again, descending into sorrow and brooding silence as he released Thranduil's youngest child before turning away once more.

Legolas's blue eyes glittered brighter than the stars as he reached out and laid a finely boned hand upon Estel's broad shoulder, causing him to halt. "I know you would make a fine king, nin-melleth, as fine as Gil-galad himself, but you are not Isildur's only heir. Eowyn would be a fine, strong ruler, and she already has the support of Gondor's steward, and her lover, Faramir."

Estel slowly turned his tormented face to the Elf's beseeching one. "Aii, my heart, still I can not decide. Eowyn is naught but a woman, and yet, I can not bear to leave my family....leave you.." His voice became too thick with emotion, tears running down his cheeks.

Legolas framed Estel's face with his slim hands and gently, tenderly, he kissed Elrond's youngest child upon the lips. "My Estel, Eowyn is more than capable of ruling the realm of Men. The Elves are being called home to Arda, and if you stay, you will become mortal and die." Legolas' voice was soft yet fierce, his eyes shining with conviction.

Estel made a strangled, tormented sound in his throat. "Aiya, Legolas, why must you tell me that which I already know?"

Legolas hissed and backed up a few steps. A sob lodged in his throat. "Would you abandon me so easily? Do I truly matter so little to you, Estel? You promised we'd be bonded! You swore an oath of love eternal here in this very grove when we first-" The prince choked on his anguished tears, one hand across his abdomen. His heart lurched, his emotional pain so intense it became physical, and his knees buckled.

Estel caught the blonde's lean, light frame made heavy by the thick, heavily embroidered traveling robes he wore. His crown of woven flowers was dulled by his shimmering, silky smooth hair and perfect, pale skin, both of which glowed in the moon's light. "Legolas." He breathed softly as he held the crying prince to his chest.

The beautiful Elf jerked back at the whisper, tears still falling down his cheeks, the wet jewels sparkling like little stars. "I can't believe you of all people would go back on your word. Where is your honor you claim to hold so dear? You took a blood oath! We've been betrothed since we were mere elflings! You would so easily throw all that away, for a country and a people to whom you owe no allegiance? Hai, Isildur is your sire, but you've never even seen the man! How could you just forsake all you hold dear, all you've ever known. You would so easily forsake your family-forsake me-forsake the child growing within me?"

Estel gasped and stared in shock at his lover. "L-legolas?"

Legolas didn't flinch or look away from him. "I only found out recently, and I wanted to know your decision before I told you. But, yes, Estel, it is your child that dwells within me."

Estel's resolve crumpled at this news and he crushed Legolas to him in a fierce, deep kiss. As he let Imladris' wandering wolf ravage his sweet mouth, the young Elf felt the heady sense of victory. He truthfully was pregnant with Estel's child, but he never would have used that to influence Estel's decision. But Ada (Thranduil) wouldn't allow anyone to break his youngest child's heart. He doted upon Legolas, Mirkwood's beloved Morning Star, and would have forced Estel to come, willingly or not. That coupled with the unexpected arrival and begging of Arwen, had persuaded him. No matter what, Estel must not be left behind.

Arwen was hidden by thick foliage and dark shadows as she watched the two lovers. Her fine lips twisted into a vicious, victorious smirk. Arwen's pride was still smarting from having to bend her knee to the one Elf who had been her rival for Estel's hand. Yes, the fabled Evenstar had humbled herself before the bright light of day. Elrond's only daughter gritted her teeth, still stinging from her encounter with Legolas. She would rather sleep with an Orc than do that again.

But she had done it to keep her family together, just as she had once rivaled Legolas for Estel's heart. During their coming-of-age years, when they were merely fifty, she had savagely pursued her youngest brother, afraid and believing that Legolas would still Estel from them. She'd gladly pay the price of wounded pride and more for her family. Ada, Glorfindel, Elladan, Elrohir, and Estel meant the world to her, and she would let NOTHING tear them apart ever again. It was bad enough her mother had already done that. Arwen would keep this family together even if it killed her.

Arwen smiled with grim satisfaction as Estel relented. Now all she had to do was get back to Imladris' camp, which was two hours away from the Mirkwood camp, before Estel did. He must never know of what she had done; proud Estel must always think he came of his own free will.

She let out a soft, derisive snort before quietly turning and making her way back silently as only Elves can. She swung into the saddle of her snowy white stallion with practiced ease. Her mirthril sword was in its scabbard at her side, and she wore a simple travel tunic and hose so she wasn't hampered by a robe or gown. She had to travel swiftly and lightly lest Estel beat her home, or anyone at home found out she was gone. She wanted everyone to believe this was Estel's own free choice, as it should be. The Evenstar clucked softly to her horse, whispering in Elvish and the snow white steed set of at a brisk pace for the encampment.

Estel's half-sister wasn't the only one spying on them. Thranduil had watched the exchange grimly. He was fully willing to bound and gag Estel and bring him forcefully to Valinor in mirthril chains if he had to. Nobody broke his precious baby's heart. Thranduil's green eyes were like smoldering embers as he remembered his talk with Legolas. He'd told his son to use whatever tactics necessary to convince Estel to come. He knew how much his son loved Elrond's youngest, and how much his heart would hurt should Estel stay behind. Legolas would grieve and that would hurt Thranduil's own heart. He never could stand to see Legolas cry or be in pain.

The Mirkwood king watched silently as Estel held Legolas in his arms, kissing him softly. His keen Elven eyes could make out the tears still glistening like morning dew on Legolas' lashes. Seeing Legolas lay his head on Estel's shoulder, and seeing Estel respond in kind, Thranduil relented a little, but he still kept a watchful vigil. He had no intention of letting Estel out of his sight; he didn't trust the human blood in him. But there were many preparations still to make for the morrow's journey that would take them from these shores forever. Since Estel didn't appear to be heading home any time soon, Thranduil turned and left to fetch someone to take his place in keeping an eye on Estel.

"So, Estel, have you come to a decision?" Mirkwood's Morning Star spoke softly, voice trembling with hope and trying to hide his fear. Estel took a deep breath , caught off guard. He and Legolas had fallen into a contented silence.

Estel still was at a loss what to do. He felt like his heart was being torn in half and ripped asunder. He loved Legolas and his family; they were his everything. He'd sworn an oath of eternal love for the prince, who was also pregnant with his baby. Out of all Elrond's children, the mortal blood ran strongest in Estel; indeed, there was more human than Elf in his appearance, he still felt his place was with his Ada, Glorfindel, and his siblings. Yet, for all that, he was also Isildur's child, and, as such, had a duty to the Edains, too. He had no love in his heart for his Edain sire, indeed, no memories of him nor loyalty to him. Yet Isildur's blood still flowed in his veins, and that blood bound him to Gondor and the throne. Eowyn was the only other one besides him who could wear the crown, and she was just a woman, which made it his sole responsibility. There was no one else.

But looking into those deep, shimmering blue eyes, Estel couldn't deny his heart's desire. "Aye, I'll go where my heart goes." And he kissed Legolas' finger with their betrothal ring on it. Legolas melted against him, knowing Estel was sincere. But he knew his father and Arwen wouldn't be as trusting so when Estel went to kiss his lips, Legolas turned his head away. "What is it?" Estel's voice was concerned and hurt.

"How do I know you'll really come? You were willing to break you oath to me, to your family, all to fulfill a duty to a kingdom you've never set foot in."

Something in the prince's voice caught Estel. He sounded like Arwen; he was after something. This conniving wasn't like his fair Legolas at all, and Estel wondered if he'd talked to Arwen, then shook his head. His sister was back at the Imladris camp, helping Glorfindel and Ada with the preparations whilst Elladan looked after Elrohir. "Legolas?"

Legolas turned to look at him, and this time it was the prince's, not somebody else's words or fears, but his own that the young Elf put forth. "What if you don't come? I don't think I could take it. It isn't fair to me, to our child!" Tears shimmered in his eyes and his voice choked off in a muffled sob.

"Legolas." Estel reached for Thranduil's youngest child, but the Morning Star turned away. "Legolas, please, just hear me out-"

"I've already listened to your words, Estel. And you've heard mine. Now it is time for you to make a decision. One that you'll commit yourself to. There will be no turning back, no running away." Legolas still refused to look at him; he couldn't. His back was stiff and his voice hard. No matter how much Ada and Arwen wanted him to, Legolas wouldn't fall crying on his knees before Estel, weeping at his feet. Estel's fate would also be his own; either Estel would choose for them to be together, or he'd choose for them to part. Legolas was determined to accept either path with as much dignity as he could muster. But still he could not stop the tears flowing down his cheeks.

"Legolas, you're my everything-" Estel once more reached out, desperate to soothe the Elf, his arms aching to hold him.

The prince whirled around viciously, hair, cloak and tears flying. A few of the sorrowful drops landed on Estel's outstretched hand. "Choose, Estel!" Legolas snarled, his voice thick with hurt. It was as if he was shattering into pieces before Estel's eyes. Their gazes locked, piercing blue meeting bewildered gray. When Estel neither moved nor spoke, Legolas continued, though his voice was lower, it was just as thick and cutting. "My heart is bleeding. Either heal these wounds you've caused, or plunge the dagger in all the way. Either way, end my misery." It was Legolas who broke their gaze; he couldn't bear to look at Elrond's son when he gave his decision.

For once in his young life, Estel was at a loss for words. 'I'm going' seemed inadequate. Finding no words that would suffice, Estel reached into his own cloak. He had not changed into his heavy, elaborate traveling robes, like Legolas already had; he wore a simple tunic and hose. He hesitated only briefly before unsheathing the small, intricately forged dagger. He twirled it once with his nimble fingers before flicking it into the dirt at Legolas' feet.

Not expecting the move, Legolas gasped and jumped backwards, lifting the heavy hems of his robes. He drew in a sharp breath when Estel turned and quickly fled the clearing. Estel had given his answer, then had glanced up at the moon; it was nearing daybreak; the far off horizon was tinged with the barest trace of pink. He had lost track of time; he'd dallied too long, now he had to hurry home lest Ada and Adar leave without him!

"Estel!" Legolas called out, reaching with trembling fingers for Estel's dagger. It was very precious to the half-human prince; it was a gift from his Ada and Adar, Elrond and Glorfindel, on his sixteenth Begetting day. Estel would never part with it. Unless he planed on getting it back. Letting out a deep breath, the Morning Star held Estel's beloved dagger to his chest and stared in the direction his betrothed had fled before turning and going back to the Mirkwood camp.

tbc.....

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review? please?