Disclaimer: I don't own the Animorphs. I wish I did.
A/N #1: This little plot bunny came up to me one night right before I went to sleep. It kept me up for the next 30 minutes before I managed to unravel it, plan it out and subdue it :P I originally planned to keep this as a 3000 word-ish oneshot - I'm about halfway done. But then I decided that the flow would be much better if I broke it up into separate chapters (say, 3 or 4). So this is now part 1 of a 3 part story. Short, I know, but I really think breaking it up is a much better idea.
A/N #2: For those of you asking... I haven't abandoned Marco's Not-To-Do List (How could I?!). Chapter 4's about halfway done right now. However, I kind of wrote myself into a corner for a while there, and now that I got myself out of the corner I got myself into a little mental block :( So I'm taking time off it for the time being. Hopefully inspiration comes back soon.
My name is Marco.
Last name?
Sorry, I don't do last names. But if you really want to know, people call me… Marco the Magnificent. Or magnanimous. Some even say mesmerizing.
Kinda has a nice ring to it. Marco the mesmerizing.
"Hey, Marco the mindless! Stop with the internal monologue already!"
That's Jake, my best friend since like, forever. We've done everything together for quite literally almost our entire lives, we know things about each other that no one else does, we can almost tell what the other is thinking, and he's always been there for me as I have for him. You could say we have a very steady bromance going on.
Which is why I've seized this chance to do something for my best friend and become…
Marco the Matchmaker.
"Oh come ON, Jake, we all know you're head-over-heels in love with Cassie. I know it, Rachel knows it, Tobias knows it, even our resident alien from a galaxy far, far away can see it! Just admit it to her, propose to her, promise to marry her in 3 years time, anything! Just get it over with already!"
I couldn't believe it. Jake, the quintessential leader who could take on thousands of Taxxons, hundreds of Hork-Bajir and even dared to face down Visser Three (albeit with us by his side) was turned into a little shivering ball of terror by the mere thought of confessing his feelings to the love of his life.
Jake looked down at the floor and whispered something unintelligible.
"You'll have to be louder Jake, I don't speak mouse. What happened to the tiger inside of you?"
"He went into hiding," Jake mumbled.
"Come on, dude! You're the General Sherman of our little band of warriors up against odds of which no one has ever seen. How on earth could this ONE LITTLE THING get your panties in such a twist?!"
"What if Cassie doesn't think of me that way? What if she's not ready?" he asked softly.
"Is THAT it? IS that IT?! Is that ALL that's stopping you from asking her out? YOU are driving me CRAY-ZY! Even that bimbo what's-her-name from school knows it! Anyone can tell she's been dying to be held in your big, strong arms and to hear you propose to her in the most romantic fashion possible!"
Jake blushed but looked a little more positive about that prospect.
"And then she'll run her hands across your warm, manly, chest and caress your lithe, supple body as she slowly removes your…"
"Marco!" I smirked as Jake paled. "Stop making your mental porn from the two of us. It's not funny."
"How does the incorruptible Saint Jake know what porn is? Been doing some… research in private?" I waggled my eyebrows at him. "Or, should I say… research on privates?"
"Marco!"
I leered at him. "Looking to put theory into practice?"
"MARCO!"
A slight pause ensued as we just stared at each other.
"What if I can't keep her happy? What if I just can't keep her?" Jake finally said after a few minutes of introspection.
"Then you learn how not to make the same mistake again, prostrate yourself before her and beg and plead for her to take you back. Come on! How bad can it be?! And if you don't try, the rest of us will have to keep watching the two of you make lovesick puppy eyes at each other when you think the other's not looking. And it's getting to be really irritating." I handed the phone to him.
"What?" Jake stared at the phone in my hand, nonplussed.
"Call her now. Talk. Plan a date or something, it doesn't matter which. Just do something."
"Do I have to?"
"I could always call her right now and ask her out on a date for you…"
"You wouldn't dare."
I punched in the first three digits of Cassie's phone (which, contrary to popular belief, are not one-two-three). "Do I actually have to help you ask her out on a date? Are you that pathetic?"
Cue Jake's defeated gaze.
"So you'll do it yourself?"
Now the face of resignation.
"Alright, fantastic," I said as I handed the phone to him. Jake grabbed it and completed the call.
"Hello, Cassie?" A pause. "I was wondering... uh… if could we meet up… outside the barn? Like… uh… in about 20 minutes?" Another pause. "Alright, that's great. Um… see you soon?" He ended off the conversation with a squeak and put down the phone a little too quickly, as if he couldn't believe what he'd just done.
I raised my eyebrows. "Not too bad. Done with just the barest hint of you about to wet your pants."
Jake aimed a kick at my foot, which I dodged.
"Come on, lover boy. We have an engagement to plan."
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