Short thing about Cas/Dean! I hope you enjoy it! Let me know what you think!
Any similarities between this/anything else is purely coincidental. I wrote this spur of the moment and went with it!
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
It's the little things about Dean that Castiel really likes.
Sure, Dean is courageous. He's loyal. He'd lie down and die for those he loves. He's caring, in his own way. He's kind to his parents, though they are not there to see it. He takes care of his brother, like he always promised. They get into fights sometimes, because it's hard to truly love someone in a world like this—but Dean loves Sam.
And Castiel loves Dean.
He loves the little things.
Castiel loves the way that Dean can make him smile. When he first truly met him—looked into Dean's eyes and introduced himself—I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition—Dean cracked a few jokes, made some wiseass remarks. After some time, Castiel realized that Dean—scared, brave, messed up Dean—was funny. Truly, honestly, funny. Castiel didn't do a lot of smiling in those days, but he specifically remembered laughing at one of Dean's jokes as he sat next to him on a bench by the park.
He loves the way that Dean's laugh is infectious. When Castiel made some mistakes with Chastity, with the short white slip and the long-gone father, Dean laughed, and before he realized it, Castiel was laughing too. Until Dean came along, Castiel never realized how unfamiliar a smile felt on his face. Until Dean came along, Castiel never realized how much he could smile.
Castiel loves the way Dean protects Sammy. Castiel never knew that two beings could have this much love for one another. Sure, the brothers are all they have. But their love runs much, much deeper than that. They're friends. Best friends. And Dean has made it clear that he will die a thousand times over for his best friend.
Once again, though—it's the little things. Castiel remembers a time when the car came to a short, jerking stop, and Dean absentmindedly threw his arm across Sam's chest, like a mother would to her child. Or when Dean and Sam paid for a movie to watch together in a motel one time, a really horrible, bad, awful movie, and they laughed until tears streamed down their eyes. Castiel doesn't like to intrude on these times, because he knows that Dean still needs Sam, and Sam will always need his older brother.
Every time Castiel's eyes fall on Dean's necklace, he is reminded of Dean's love for his little brother.
And he loves Dean a little more.
Castiel loves the way Dean sometimes loves him.
He says "sometimes," because he realizes that Dean does not always love him. Dean will berate him, bring him down, yell at him, question him—but then Dean comes around and tells Cas—not Castiel, but Cas—that he cares for him. That he thinks of him like a brother. That Cas is his family now. Instead of tearing him down, Dean tightens his arms around Castiel—instead of wishing Castiel away, never to come back, Dean breaks his back holding onto his friend in Purgatory.
And suddenly, in these moments, all of his horrible words vanish. They don't hurt—at least not right now. They are swallowed by Dean's new words, words of comfort and friendship.
Yes, these little things are the reasons Castiel remains by Dean's side. Why he appears at every call. Why he still smiles, even after everything. When Castiel hears his nickname falling from Dean's lips, he is reminded of one million little details that make him love Dean. And when Dean smiles at him genuinely, or tells him he needs him, they are almost promises of love.
But Castiel doesn't often like to kid himself into thinking that way.
He can't help but wish that Dean loved the little things about him, as well.
He wishes this until he realizes that he has no little qualities to love.
And after he realizes this, he disappears in a flash.
He's not good at goodbyes.
So I tried writing the end in the way Cas tends to disappear-sudden, and like he's wrapped up in his own thoughts. Might not make sense, but why not? I tried it out. Reviews are like hugs, which everyone loves!
