Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in the
following story. They belong
exclusively to their creators. This
story is intended for non-profit use only.
Sacrifice
Cordelia
Chase drove like a woman possessed. Since Angel's pronouncement that she, Wesley, and Gunn were fired, she'd
tried to reason with him, tell him what was happening to him, but he refused to
listen to her. Now, she was resorting
to one final measure; this had to work!
She
pulled up in front of a familiar house and climbed out. She smiled slightly; the place hadn't
changed.
Cordelia
rang the doorbell, and a teenage girl with dark, brown hair answered the door.
"Can
I help you?" the girl asked.
"Um
yes, I'm looking for Buffy Summers," Cordelia answered.
"Oh
my sister, she's up in her room brooding over her boyfriend," the girl groaned.
'Sister?'
Cordelia gasped silently. Since when
did Buffy have a sister?
"May
I see her?" Cordelia asked.
"Who
are you?" the girl replied.
"My
name is Cordelia; I'm an old friend of Buffy's," was the answer.
"Oh
yeah, I remember Buffy mentioning you a couple of times. Oh sorry, I'm Dawn," the young girl stated.
"Nice
to meet you," Cordelia said and shook her hand. She nearly ran up the stairs and straight to Buffy's room.
Buffy
was sitting on her bed holding one of her old teddy bears when someone knocked
on her door.
"Buffy,
someone's here to see you," Dawn said through the door.
"I'm
busy right now," Buffy said trying not to sound like she was crying. The door opened anyway, and a familiar face
popped in.
"Hi
Buffy, it's me," Cordelia stated.
"Cordelia?"
Buffy gasped as she stood up to give her former arch-nemesis a hug. "What are you doing here?"
"I
need to talk to you, Buffy; it's about Angel," Cordelia stated. As if Buffy's face couldn't be any whiter,
she paled even more.
"What
about him?" Buffy asked. Cordelia
sensed Dawn listening to them.
"Um,
do you mind if we discuss this in private?" she asked.
"Dawn,
could you please excuse us?" Buffy asked. Usually, Dawn would give her 'sister' a smart remark, but the tiredness
in her eyes and voice made her change her mind.
"Okay,"
she simply said and closed the door.
Once
Dawn left, Cordelia sat down in the chair next to Buffy's bed.
"So
what's up?" Buffy asked as she tried to wipe her eyes. Cordelia could tell that something was not
right.
"Maybe
I should ask that question first? What's wrong, Buffy?" she asked worriedly.
"What
do you mean?" Buffy said trying to avoid the subject. Cordelia glared at her.
"Buffy…your
eyes are bloodshot, your hair looks like it's been in a wind tunnel, and your
mascara is dripping down your cheeks. Now spill it!" Cordelia said firmly. What happened next took Cordelia by surprise. She watched as the usual calm, in-control Buffy fell to pieces.
Buffy
hated feeling vulnerable, but she just needed to say some things. She didn't anticipate saying them to
Cordelia, but once she started, she couldn't stop. Word after word seemed to pour from her mouth. She told Cordelia everything- her sleeping
with Spike, Riley sleeping with a vampire, his envy of Angel for being so close
to her, and her letting him go without even saying goodbye.
Cordelia
listened with tears in her eyes; she wasn't the only one going through hell on
earth! She clasped her friend's hand,
and Buffy welcomed the warm gesture.
"Don't
worry, Buffy, I'm sure Riley will be back. Then, you two can start over and do things the right way," Cordelia said
confidently. Buffy smiled softly.
"Thanks,
Cordy, sometimes, I miss having you around," she quipped.
"Anytime,
Buff, anytime," Cordelia replied. Buffy
wiped her eyes and became serious.
"Now,
enough of the mushy stuff, what's up with Angel?" Buffy asked. Cordelia took a deep breath.
"I
better tell you everything, but it's a long story," she stated. For the next two hours, Cordelia explained
the events leading up to the present.
She
told Buffy about Wolfram and Hart, and the things that they'd done. About the Oracles, and how she was now
Angel's seer. About how Angel was
prophesied to become human once his job was finished. How Darla had been resurrected,
and how Angel had risked his life to protect her. About Drusilla, and Darla becoming a vampire again. And lastly, how Angel had let an entire room
of people be massacred by Darla and Drusilla.
When
Cordelia spoke about Darla and how Angel protected her, Buffy good hear a
slight hint of longing in her friend's voice. She realized that Cordelia wished that Angel would treat her like that,
at least somewhat.
By
the time that Cordelia finished, tears were streaming down her cheeks, and her
hands were shaking in her lap. Buffy
was alarmed at how vulnerable she looked.
"Damn,
Cordelia, you've been through hell!" Buffy gasped.
"Yeah,
but I'd do it again. After Vocah opened
my mind to hear all the cries of the people in trouble, I realized that what
Angel was doing is right. The city
needs him to fight for it, but right now, he's too angry to do anything
helpful," she said sadly.
"Cordelia,
Angel has his own little 'temper tantrums' sometimes; I'm sure that he'll calm
himself down in a few days," Buffy said confidently. Cordelia shook her head defiantly.
"Usually,
I'd agree with you, Buffy, but it's a lot worse than you think. Angel isn't Angel anymore…" Cordelia stopped
to try and compose herself for what she was about to say, "…Buffy, Angel's lost
his will to care! He simply doesn't
care anymore. He doesn't care about himself
or anyone, including myself, anymore. It's worse than Angelus coming back. Angel has a soul, but his heart is completely gone!" Cordelia's knuckles were turning white with
how tight she was squeezing her hands together.
Buffy
couldn't believe what she was hearing! How could Angel lose his will to care?
"Cordelia,
please tell me you're kidding?" Buffy nearly pleaded. The brown-haired girl shook her head.
"I'll
prove it to you, Buffy." Cordelia
hadn't wanted to do this, but she had no choice. She lifted up her sweater, and Buffy gasped when she noticed a
large bruise on the left side of Cordelia's ribcage.
"He
hit you!" Buffy nearly shouted.
"No…no…no…not
directly anyway," Cordelia said sadly and covered her bruise back up. "Let me explain…"
Flashback
to three days ago…(Angel's hotel)
Cordelia
packed up her things from behind her desk. She still couldn't believe what Angel had done.
"Well,
that should just about do it," Wesley stated flatly.
"Yeah,
um, you and Gunn go on ahead; I want to try to talk to him one more time,"
Cordelia said with hopeful smile.
"Cordelia,
right now, Angel could care less what we say to him," Wesley said sadly.
"I
know, but I still have to try," she replied.
Cordelia
walked down into the basement where Angel was throwing knives at a
dartboard. She walked down the
staircase and stopped.
"Angel?"
she said softly. Angel ignored her.
"Cordelia,
I don't really want to talk right now," he growled. Cordelia glared at him slightly, and her temper started to flare.
"Angel,
you can't just abandon them," she said forcefully. Angel stopped and looked at her with a bored expression.
"Abandon
who?" he asked already knowing what she was talking about.
"You
know 'who', Angel; all those people out there on the streets that need your
help," Cordelia answered.
"Know
something, I didn't ask to be made the people's savior, okay. I'm tired of laying everything on the line
and losing it all for nothing. I'm not
doing that anymore! I'm not playing
'The Powers That Be' game anymore; they can find someone else," Angel nearly
hissed.
Cordelia
walked in front of him. She grabbed his
hand that held the knife and brought it to the center of her chest.
"What
are doing?" Angel demanded. Cordelia
didn't flinch.
"Kill
me, Angel," she simply replied.
"What?"
he gasped. He tried to step back, but
Cordelia held his hand in place.
"Go
on, Angel, kill me. If you've lost your
will to care about people, then you won't mind killing an innocent person. So, kill me!" she hissed.
"You're
nuts!" Angel shouted.
"Yeah,
maybe you're right, but you know what? If it helps to save someone's life, I'll gladly go insane." Cordelia stepped back and stood in front of
the target. "Come on, Angel, kill me or
don't you have the guts!"
"I'm
warning you, Cordelia," Angel growled.
"Yeah
right, don't gimme your bullshit threats; I've heard them all remember! Come on, Angelus, I know you're in there
somewhere. I've got innocent blood
ready and waiting for you; you just have to take it!" Cordelia knew that what she was doing was dangerous, but she had
no choice.
Angel
felt his demon awakening at her statement, and he had to fight it back with
everything he had. He felt the hunger
welling up within him. Angel walked
towards the stairs, but Cordelia got in front of him and blocked his way.
"Move!"
Angel ordered, but Cordelia didn't flinch.
"No,
Angel, I won't until you either kill me or give me reason to let you walk by,"
she hissed. Angel bared his fangs, and
Cordelia met his gaze fearlessly. Angel
couldn't believe that Cordelia was still standing there!
"I
don't kill the innocent," he said firmly. Cordelia slapped him across the face hard!
"The
hell you don't, Angel. Every minute
that you sit here wallowing in your own self- pity is another minute that could
have been used to save someone's life. I didn't ask to be your seer. I
didn't ask to fight demons, vampires, and God knows what else! I do it because it's part of who I am. I may be a weak human girl, but I do what I
can. I don't have special strength or
eternal life, and I don't care that I don't. I help people anyway that I can. You used to know what that felt like!" Cordelia finished. She saw his eyes twitch, and his fangs
disappeared. She hoped that Angel had
changed his mind.
"You
know, Cordy, everything you said is true, but you forget one thing. Most people don't want to be saved." Angel grabbed her right shoulder and
forcibly shoved her out of the way. Cordelia's left side hit the corner of the railing, and she winced in
pain. Angel stalked up the stairs and
out the front door.
End
flashback…
"I
haven't seen him since," Cordelia said as she wiped her eyes. She reached for a Kleenex and grabbed her
side in pain.
"Cordy,
you okay?" Buffy asked worriedly. Cordelia's
face contorted in pain, but she fought it back.
"Yeah,
I'm okay, just a little stiff," she replied.
"Cordelia…you're
not telling me the whole truth…is that bruise all that's there?" Buffy
demanded. Cordelia sighed and shook her
head.
"No,
not exactly, one of my ribs was partially fractured when he…you know," she
replied. Buffy's eyes lit up with an
angry fire.
"I'm
going to kill that guy!" she growled.
"Buffy,
don't be angry with him. Angel needs
help right now. He's consumed with rage
and doesn't know what to do with it. He's become obsessed with getting back at Wolfram and Hart because they
took Darla's humanity from her again. He doesn't care who gets hurt or what happens to him as long as he gets
revenge!" Cordelia said softly. Buffy shook
her head in astonishment.
"Cordy,
you've changed girl. I guess loving
Angel makes you act that way towards him," she said with a smile. Cordelia drew back at her statement.
"Wait
a minute, Buffy, I never said anything about…" Buffy cut her off.
"Cordy,
you don't have to. I could tell by the
way you talked about him. You don't
stand in front of Angel and offer your neck to his demon side without loving
him. Only someone who loves him would
be that crazy!" she laughed.
"Um
Buffy, I haven't talked to him about you because I didn't want to hurt him
anymore than he was hurting already, but I think he still loves you," Cordelia
choked out. "I remember when you came
to LA to see him. After you left, he
was miserable. I could tell that he
wanted nothing more that to have you back. I know that he would do anything to be with you again. I'm sure of it, Buffy!"
Buffy
smiled at her friend and took her hand. She shook her head, and Cordelia looked at her curiously.
"No,
Cordelia, Angel and I stopped loving each other a long time before I came to
LA- romantically at least. That just
stirred up some old memories. Now
though, both he and I have found the perfect people to be with, and we both
shoved them away. I pushed Riley away,
and he pushed you away," Buffy said sadly.
"Buffy,
I know that Angel cares about me as his friend and his seer, but I highly doubt
that he loves me," Cordelia objected. Buffy grinned at her.
"Trust
me, Cordy, I know Angel pretty well, and I'm pretty sure that deep down inside
he knows that he loves you just as much as you love him!" she said firmly.
"Buffy,
I know that you're busy here in Sunnydale, but I need your help. Angel won't listen to me or any one of his
friends anymore. That's why I came
here. I think that he'll listen to
you!" Cordelia stated.
"You
want me to come with you don't you?" Buffy asked. Cordelia nodded her in confirmation. The slayer took a moment to think things over. Helping out Angel would help take her mind
off of Riley's absence. Plus, she still
needed to pound him for hurting Cordelia.
"All
right, Cordy, you've got yourself a slayer!" Buffy laughed. Cordelia hugged her friend tightly and
winced from the pain, but she didn't care.
"Thanks,
Buff, I only hope that you can talk some sense into him," Cordelia said with a
questionable smile.
"Don't
worry, Cordelia, if I can't talk some sense into Angel, I'll just beat some
sense into him!" Buffy said with a smirk. Both girls laughed together and enjoyed the brief moment of comic
relief.
Buffy
picked up her phone and called Giles at the Magic Box. She explained to him what had happened to
Angel, and that she needed to go to LA. Next, Buffy called Willow and Xander to let them in on the
situation. She'd need someone to watch
after the place while she was gone. Finally, Buffy walked downstairs to talk to her mom.
It
took a good hour and some help from Cordelia, but Mrs. Summers consented to let
Buffy go to Los Angeles. Buffy quickly
packed a few clothes and some other 'necessities', namely weapons, for her road
trip. As she walked to the front door,
Dawn was standing there waiting for her.
"Dawn,
I need you to watch after mom for me, okay. You're the big cheese around here now, so act like it okay," Buffy
teased. Her 'sister' smiled at her and
nodded.
"Watch
yourself okay Buffy," Dawn said warmly. Buffy opened her arms and hugged the younger girl tightly.
"All
right, I'll be back as soon as I can," Buffy added as she headed out the
door. Buffy gave her mom a hug goodbye,
and Mrs. Summers hugged Cordelia as well.
"Good
luck, you two," she said with a smile. Buffy and Cordelia headed back to her car and climbed on board. Then, with a final wave, to Dawn and Mrs.
Summers, the two young women sped off down the road, bound for Los Angeles and
a reunion with a vampire.
