Flames and Raindrops
Last night I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about you. Every time I closed my eyes, you would only haunt my dreams, visions dancing under my eyelids. I don't remember anything about them, really. Just that you were there.
I got out of bed and went outside. The sky was a stormy night-black. No moon. No stars. Just the rain. Wild and whipping.
I couldn't see much, but that's ok. Sometimes the world is more beautiful when everything is shrouded in darkness, when the flaws are hidden.
And so I'm sitting here, right in the middle of the lawn. The rain soaks through my pyjamas and sticks to my skin. They'll be full of grass stains in the morning. Some of them might never wash away.
I close my eyes.
I'm not going to breathe. I'm not going to move. I'm not going to leave. Maybe I'll stay here forever. Do you think time would stand still just for me?
It did once.
The night I first met you.
No when I first saw you, or when I first talked to you. When I first met you.
I was a little tired, a little prickly, and I dropped my book bag. Little pieces of paper flew around, softly snowing parchment. And you just kind of got this look and bent over and picked up Hogwarts, a History up for me. I was kind of wondering why, because I thought you were someone you weren't. Because I hadn't met you. But then…
time
stood
still.
And I didn't think anymore.
I just remember eyes. Big and grey, like bottomless lakes in a summer storm. And a feeling that something was different, and not being able to pin it down. I think that difference was meeting you.
You know, I don't read the Daily Prophet anymore. This morning I read the headlines: Three murdered while sleeping! Teenage girl still missing! I didn't want to open the newspaper. I didn't want to see it was you again. I didn't want to see your black and white picture sneering and smirking. The picture that is always you, but never the boy I met.
I threw the paper into the fire and watched the words burn away until they were only ashes.
Fire and rain. We were always fire and rain. One of us was meant to put the other out. Which one was extinguished? Which one was the fire, and which was the rain?
I was the one who loved the rain. You hated it like a cat, wincing if a single drop fell on your head. Yet you stood with me through every thunderstorm, every rainfall. You learned to love rain because of me. It was you who taught me to count the seconds.
For one brief instant, the sky is filled with light. Count the seconds, Hermione.
One...two…
BOOM.
Lightning flashes, thunder rumbles.
It won't touch me. Not now, not ever.
Is it raining where you are? Do you lock yourself inside and pull the shutters down?
Or do you remember me?
I remember you. Do you really think I've forgotten? I don't forget the people I've loved. Never. And I loved you. I loved you even though one was the rain and one was the candle flame, and we would never be able to touch. Because then the flame would be quenched, and the raindrop would be alone.
A drop drips down my nose, leaving a clean streak on my skin stained with memories. Memories of times before. Memories of before there was a reason to remember.
Some people think I'm crazy, you know. They think I'm going mad, because I'm alone all the time. Because I like the feel of rain on my skin. Because I won't let go. Because I still hope. Because I loved you once.
Because I might love you still.
I don't want to let you go. Then you would just slip into the darkness and never come back. Can't you see? Can't you see that you were my wings? So now I can no longer fly. And you promised never to let me fall.
Broken promises and broken hearts rain down on my shoulders.
But I'm still living. And I'm still dreaming. And I'm still sitting right here.
Until the sun comes out to dry my soaking-wet pyjamas, and it's time to go inside.
A/N: Please R&R!
For those of you who keep up with Just Run (my story), the next part should be up in a couple of days.
Disclaimer: Hermione Granger, implied Draco Malfoy, Hogwarts, a History, and the Daily Prophet all belong to J.K Rowling. The rest is mine.
