Updated Author's note: This story is not a behind the scenes revival story, although it may come across that way at first. I'm not ASP, so I can only hypothesize what she intended in those four episodes. We all certainly know the outcome. This story is more of an interpretation of the events surrounding our favorite characters throughout the years. As for the technical aspect, this story does not follow the revival timeline exactly, but all the important bits will be covered.
This will be a long story broken into three parts for a total of 32 chapters. I hope you all will join me for the long ride – I do think the end will be worth it.
Disclaimer: I don't own an extensive collection of strange hats nor is my name Amy. Oh yeah, and I don't own this show either.
Summary: Rory was watching the swans when she saw him again for the first time in years. Little did she know how her life was about to change. Set pre-, during-, and post AYITL. Contains Revival Spoilers!
Chapter One: Swans
Hamburg, Germany - June 3, 2015
There had to be something better than this.
Rory frowned as she tore the bread apart piece by piece, throwing it into the water below. She ignored the annoyed stares of the people nearby as her frantic bread-tearing had attracted more birds, but Rory was beyond she did hold some sadness over the loss of her meal (it was delicious), Rory, having no other way to vent her frustrations, tore the roll out of her mouth and got to work, cursing her misfortune with every tear.
Her fingers paused. Maybe she could have another bite. It was such a shame to waste her lunch over a situation that was momentarily out of her control. Bringing the small piece up to her mouth, she chewed slowly, staring out over the water as she contemplated the sudden turn her career had taken her.
Rory was in town covering the IAPH Hamburg conference. At first, when she was presented with the opportunity for the assignment, she thought it was your standard, run of the mill business conference stuffed with men in ill-fitting suits, while some young hot-shots lectured on innovation and future industry. Oh, how wrong she was. Yes, it was still attended by men in bad suits with the occasional hot-shot lecturer, but this conference was about shipping. Rory knew nothing about boats (except for a small indiscretion she'd rather not remember), and her knowledge of shipping consisted of the chapter on international trade from her economics course. She would have to wing it. This would be an article that was sure to be forced to the end of the business section and maybe read by fifty people. But hey, money was money. And so what if she knew nothing about shipping, ports or engineering for the future? If she could write an article about repaving the parking lot at Chilton, she could do this too!
Except, she couldn't. Well, she could she just didn't want to anymore.
She ducked out of the conference early (there were still two more days of this damned thing) and decided on some retail therapy. But as she walked around the shopping complex staring into the glass storefronts, she realized she couldn't afford to buy any clothes or put any purchases in her already cramped luggage. So she used the last five Euro note she found in her bag, bought a coffee and a roll at the nearby cafe, then walked across the street from the complex and took refuge at the railing along the small lake. She downed her coffee quickly, moving onto her next edible victim. Every tear to the roll vented a frustration, in the end leaving only a small portion before she paused to stare out over the water. Flashes of white caught her eye first. There were swans – dozens of them. Everywhere she looked there was a swan, gliding effortlessly along the surface of the lake. Their graceful movements fascinated her, calming her from her earlier aggression.
Noisy squawks and the sound of ruffling feathers below caught her attention once more, as the small birds waited impatiently for scraps. Rory watched as more birds congregated around her in the water, some still searching fruitlessly for any piece, when she was drawn from her musings by a synth-pop tune. The familiar notes of a Bangles song blared out from her bag. She threw the remaining piece of her roll into the water, before reaching into the depths of her purse, searching for the source of the noise. Her fingers finally grasped the large plastic device and she withdrew her hand, a smile coming to her face as her mother's image covered the screen. "Hey."
"Was ist los Tochter? How's the city of hamburgers? Have you had a Hamburger hamburger yet?" In spite of her bad day, the warmth in her mother's voice improved her mood, if only a little bit.
"No, I haven't mom. By the way, what was that greeting? You've been Googling again, haven't you? I knew the internet could only add to your weirdness," Rory replied with a slight chuckle.
"I'll have you know, daughter of mine, that I just said 'What's up daughter?' and I'm very thankful for Google as it adds to my already well-established coolness," replied Lorelai. "And if you must also know, I've been Googling all about things to do in Hamburg, but then I realized that I had yet to have a phone call from you! So come on, tell mommy what you've been doing when you're not working. Seeing the sights? Meeting tall, blond, blue-eyed men in bars?" Though Lorelai spoke with a teasing tone, Rory knew that her mom was serious. Her mom expected her to have fun on her travels when she wasn't working.
Rory grimaced as she thought back to the previous night. She had run to the corner market next to her hotel, bought more German chocolates and sweets than necessary, and proceeded to watch The Big Bang Theory dubbed in German for four straight hours before falling asleep surrounded by empty , she wasn't going to bring that up. No need for her mother to know how pathetic she could be. "Oh, it's been pretty busy I guess. I've walked around some old buildings in the downtown area and did some window shopping. This conference has occupied the majority of my daytime, though. You know how work is; there really isn't much to tell," she lied, hoping the explanation appeased her mother. "But tell me what's going on at home? How's the Dragonfly?" she asked, effectively changing the subject.
Rory wasn't in the mood to talk about herself or her job, and if Lorelai picked up on it, she did not comment. Lorelai instantly launched into a tale about Michel and the new maids. Apparently, there was some miscommunication about pillow-candy placement and Michel was complaining - well complaining more than usual. Rory was only half-listening to her mom as she rattled on, but the scene below quickly grabbed her attention.
When Rory first arrived at the lake, the swans were in the center, ignoring the crowds and the noises of the small boats surrounding them. In the time she had been on the phone with her mom, a pair of swans glided over near the railing where Rory threw the bread. People around her pointed at them in fascination, in awe of their behavior. The pair fought over the last large piece of roll she had thrown down below, in a tug-of-war reminiscent of Lady and the Tramp, except these swans were neither romantic or friendly. Eventually, one bird gave up and swam away to another corner, looking for any more bread pieces the other birds might have missed.
"...and then Taylor told Kirk, 'I don't care if it's wearing a diaper, this pig is not coming into my market!' Watching Taylor freak out about Kirk's new pet has been glorious Rory, let me tell you. I cannot wait for you to see it personally. So do you think Taylor is right? No pet pigs in the market?" When Rory failed to respond, she added, "Rory? Earth to Rory," said Lorelai. "What has you so distracted babe?"
Lorelai's question knocked Rory out of her swan gazing. "Oh, uh, sorry Mom. I'm just a little out of it," Rory replied apologetically. She went back to look at the swans below. With no bread left, they had eventually given up and swam out towards opposite ends of the lake to join their kind once more. "Mom, what do you think of swans?"
"Uh, enormous white birds," Lorelai said in a confused tone. "I really have no feeling towards them either way. At the Independence, they were always a nice feature when we had our weddings and events. Now, the only large birds I care about are those stupid Canadian Geese. They're mean, loud and poop everywhere. They were a nightmare for the groundskeeper. I hated when they showed up here." Rory silently agreed, remembering how the birds' yearly arrival would annoy the inn staff. "But what do swans have to do with anything?" her mother asked in confusion.
Rory could tell her segue into swans was a bit odd for her mom, even for being a Gilmore girl. She turned away from the railing and stared out onto the street, casually glancing at the people walking by. "Oh, uh nothing. There's just a lot of swans here," she answered with a shrug. She smiled as she looked around and added: "it's summer, it's a beautiful European day, and I'm staring at swans, that's all." Rory paused for a few seconds before continuing, "I was just thinking how beautiful and graceful they are. Their faces are weird, though. They almost look a bit severe. Like they're beautiful on the surface but evil on the inside. I don't know; I was just thinking."
"Right, swans are strange that way," Lorelai replied drolly. "Look, babe, I would love to continue to debate swans with you, but Michel is over here gesturing for my attention. Please go out to a bar tonight and find yourself some hot German! Mommy's orders!"
Rory laughed as she contemplated the strange relationship she had with her mother. "I will try mom. Give my love to Luke for me."
"Bye sweets!"
Rory ended the call and took one last look out at the street with a smile, her brief chat with her mother improving her mood if only temporarily, noting she had to decide what she was going to do about this conference. Holding back a sigh, she made to turn around back to the lake, choosing to let the picturesque view calm her mind as she considered her options. But before she could, a deep voice called out, stopping her movements.
"Rory? Rory Gilmore?" the deep voice called out in question.
Perhaps her daydreaming had addled her mind. The voice was a remnant of her past she had tried to suppress, echoing only in dreams where she was powerless to stop it, the elusive whispers serenading her subconscious. Closing her eyes briefly, she gathered her wits, intent to blame the voice on her boredom, making her hear things she wanted to hear. But did she want to listen to it? She convinced herself long ago that their goodbye was all for the best, that their relationship was a right of passage, opening her mind to new experiences, preparing her for her future.
Rory opened her eyes, taking her first glimpse of Logan Huntzberger in eight years. Except this wasn't Logan Huntzberger, or at least the one she remembered from those years ago. He was older, sure, but while the Logan of her past still had some of those boyish features, present Logan looked more like the smart, successful businessman she knew he'd become. His face was more angular, and his body was leaner. He looked, dare she'd admit it, incredible.
Once Logan met her eyes, he walked closer, meeting her at the railing. He was grinning widely. "Rory Gilmore, as I live and breathe," he began, ending with an incredulous scoff, shaking his head in wonder as his eyes traveled her frame.
She breath caught as she saw his eyes, the familiar brown twinkling back at her. "Well, this seems like an 'of all the gin joints, in all the towns in the world,' moment," she joked, relying on her humor to disperse the awkwardness of the moment.
"She walks into mine," he retorted with a smirk. "Or in this case, a Hamburg promenade."
She bit her lip, glancing down at her shoes. She tried to come up with a reply, all standard introductions failing her. What could she say in this situation?
"I just can't believe it's you. I thought I heard your voice, so I searched around and was startled to see you ten feet away from me. In Hamburg no less!" he exclaimed. "How are you? Are you here working on a story?" he asked, his head cocked in question.
Rory could only stare at him with her mouth slightly sounded so pleased to see her again, watching her with a smile. Such a contrast to their last meeting, where he looked so brokenhearted as he turned away, walking out of her life forever. Or at least, she thought forever. Now he was here, at arm's length in front of her, awaiting her reply. His eyes creased into a slight frown as she remained silent; perhaps he thought her deranged, that she wasn't able to answer a simple query. She blinked and shook her head to clear her thoughts, hoping that he didn't catch her panic. "Oh, you know how it is, being a traveling journalist and all. Here for a conference this week. And what about you?" she added with a smile, feeling her confidence grow as she managed a normal, albeit embellished, reply.
Logan's grin widened. "Oh, I'm here for business. I got sent here for some meeting with another media firm we're hoping to acquire. Just in the preliminary stages, of course. I was in-between meetings for lunch. I came down here to look at the water before making my way over, looking for a brief moment of solitude before the craziness began again. All of a sudden, I recognized your voice mingled with all the others. I thought it couldn't be you, that I was crazy, but I looked around and there you were. I realized I couldn't leave without saying hello." She found the look he gave her disconcerting; he was looking at her the way he used to back in the early days when they were just friends at Yale.
"Oh, um, hello," she squeaked out, cursing herself for the childish response. Rory wanted to ask Logan how he'd been and what else he'd been up to – simple pleasantries that avoided any mention of tough topics – but the look in his eyes gave her pause. A vibration and a beep broke his stare first and he glanced down quickly, checking the screen of the phone in his hand. "Somewhere to be?" she asked, biting her lip as he shot her another look, his expression unreadable.
The phone in Logan's hand gave another beep. He sighed as he glanced at it again, pushing a few buttons on the screen. Sliding the device into his pocket, he returned to her gaze, giving a small smile. "Listen, I'd love to stay and chat with you, but I have to get to this meeting. I really do want to talk to you and catch up, though. Would it be possible for us to have dinner tonight?" He waited for her nod before continuing, "great! Is 7:30 good? I can pick you up from your hotel. Where are you staying?" He gave another grin at Rory's answer. "Fantastic. I'm going to give you my card in case I'm not there exactly at 7:30. It has my mobile number on it so you can call me. Sorry, I don't have time to get your number right now, as I must be going." He took out his wallet, handing her the off-white cardstock, their hands briefly touching for the first time in eight years. "I'll see you tonight," he added, a slight question in his voice as if he wondered if she would keep her word and appear.
As she took his card, Rory couldn't help but smile back at him. "Yeah, me too Logan. See you tonight."
With one last grin, he turned around and strode across the street. Rory stared at him and giggled to herself about the direction the day had gone. She knew she'd have to get back to her hotel and work on her article so she could be free from worry tonight. Even if the dinner turned out horrible, it beat trying to decipher the German dubs of American comedies. She glanced down at the card in her hands, this subtle reminder of the successful man Logan turned into, a far cry from his days at the pub at Yale. But as she looked closer at the card, something caught her eye.
Why was Logan working for his father again?
Despite her good intentions, Rory did not make much headway on her article. She was too jittery to concentrate, her nerves unraveling as she considered what was in store. Here she was about to have dinner with the man from her most serious relationship, the one where she turned down his proposal, and he was happy to see her. She thought it would be uncomfortable the first time she ran into Logan. She had terrors of seeing him in the coffee shop they used to visit in New York or catching his eye at one of her grandparents' parties. They would exchange brief pleasantries, or perhaps even angry words and move on with a tense goodbye. Except this exchange was pleasant. What surprised her was how easy it was to talk to him, even for how short the exchange was. It hadn't felt like eight years at all. She never dreamed she would run into him in Germany of all places. Nothing prepared her for seeing him again after daydreaming about swans by a lake, though.
At 7:15 she decided to head down to the lobby, knowing she couldn't stare at the walls in her room any longer. She was still wearing her dress from earlier. At first, she wore this dress because she considered it her lucky outfit; good things happened when she wore it. The conference had been so dull this week that on a whim this morning she put it on, hoping for more excitement at the conference, perhaps catching an interview with a top executive. When she left the event in a huff, she thought the outfit had finally lost its magic, proving that superstitions were never correct. Her run in with Logan was undoubtedly unexpected; the jury was still out whether it was good, however. But she would find out soon.
At 7:30 Logan walked in through the sliding doors, and she was once again struck at his countenance. He looked as elegant and mature as this afternoon, but his face was more relaxed. The meeting probably stressed him out, especially if he was debating a possible acquisition. She knew from her brief history covering business that not everyone was calm and collected during those meetings. Catching her eye, he made his way over to her with another one of his show-stopping grins. Rory couldn't help but smile back, even if her stomach was doing somersaults.
"Hi, Logan," Rory greeted.
"Evening, Rory. I'm glad to see you're here," he greeted in return. "I was a bit worried after our talk today. We spoke so briefly, I never asked if you thought this was a good idea. I just dropped it on you before rushing off." He frowned and added, "you still want to come right?" Even though he looked hopeful, she could see the doubt in his eyes. He always had very expressive eyes.
"No, I wanted to come, honestly. I'm sorry if it didn't seem that way earlier. I think I was just so shocked at seeing you again that it hadn't fully hit me that it was you standing in front of me." Rory still felt as if she was trying to convince herself that this dinner was a good thing; she just hoped Logan didn't pick up on it.
"I get that feeling. I was shocked, too. Well still, I'm glad you came. Listen, a colleague of mine told me about a restaurant we can go to. You up for Italian?" Rory nodded. "Okay, let's go."
Logan led her out of the hotel and took her to a car waiting outside. After following her inside the car, he told the driver the name of the restaurant. As the car started moving, Logan turned back to Rory and said, "I know I didn't mention it earlier, but you look great. Time's been good to you. Love the dress by the way."
It was incredible to Rory that after all these years a simple comment could make her insides feel like jelly. "Well, thank you very much." After a pause, Rory continued, "you know, you look great yourself. You certainly look very smart. I must say, I like this choice of suit better than the ones you wore in college. You're a regular GQ now!"
Was it just her or did he just blush? "Heh, well, you can thank Honor for that. She would take me shopping years ago, and I guess her influence stayed with me. I suppose I'd make her proud."
They finished the short trip to the restaurant in companionable silence. After arriving, Logan helped Rory out of the car and followed her inside. Instead for the proffered hand when entering and exiting the car, he hadn't touched her. It was making her nervous. After they had started dating, Logan was always touching her in some way, whether it was on the small of her back or holding her hand or arm. After all this time, she thought it wouldn't be something she would notice, but now that he stopped it seemed unnatural. Once inside, they were led to a table, and he held out the chair for her. He was still a gentleman. Emily and Shira would be proud.
Their first few minutes were spent in relative silence. They focused on the menu and decided what to order, asking each other for suggestions. It was awkward, far more awkward than the time Rory met him in the pub to discuss the article. It was a relief to her when the waiter came back to take their orders. After the man left and returned with their wine, they spent a few moments just glancing at the table.
Rory was the first to break. "This is weird, right? This is weird. It shouldn't feel weird," rambled Rory.
Logan looked up at her and replied, "yeah, it's weird." His serious look turned playful, and he added, "but I'm determined for it not to be weird. It just takes some time for us to get back into talking to each other."
Rory nodded with a smile. "Yeah, I guess. If Finn were here, he'd find a way to break the ice."
"Finn was always good that way."
"Where's Finn when you need him? Actually, how is dear old Finn? And Colin? Are you guys still hanging out?"
As it turned out, Finn did help break the ice. Rory learned that he still kept in close contact with them ("they've grown up, but we still get together to have fun") and Rory told him all about Paris ("so she's turned to terrorizing couples instead of peers"). Logan became a proud uncle several years ago to a boy and last year, a girl ("I don't know how Honor does it, but the kids are great"). They shared details about their parents and the general things they'd done in the past years. It was sweet and familiar. The waiter brought their food and they tucked in, still managing to talk in between bites.
"So, Rory, I've read your writing. You've improved even more since Yale if that was even possible. Hugo always spoke proudly of you. I just have to know, though - what was Obama like?"
"Well, he was pretty much what you see on TV, but better. He was just cool. He's funnier in real life. I think he tries to hide a lot of it so that it won't become even more fodder for Fox, but yeah, he's awesome. Although Michelle is amazing as well. I admire her so much. There was this one time," she said, pausing as his words caught up with her. "Wait." Rory gave him a questioning look. "You said you read my work. And you talked to Hugo about me?"
"Well, I am in the news business, and Hugo is a friend. I was bound to see your name in print sometime. I'm glad you got to go out and experience all that. You really did what you wanted to do. You followed your dreams. It's fantastic."
Rory had many cheerleaders in her life, but Logan's praise always made her blush more than anything. Even though she didn't even care about his family circumstances, there was a small part of her that was proud that The Logan Huntzberger found her work exceptional. It made her feel twenty again. "Thanks, Logan," she replied with a soft smile. He smiled back.
There was a minute of silence between the two, with only the clanking of silverware on the plates and the occasional sip from the wine glass adding noise to their table. Rory thought back to their earlier conversations and realized there was still one thing they hadn't talked about yet.
"Logan." Rory put down her silverware and looked at him. He was still focusing on his plate. "Why are you back working with your father again?"
He gave no clear indication that he was surprised by her question, but she knew his tells and knew that he was. His forehead tensed and he had a slight purse to his lips. Logan set down his utensils and finished chewing. As he looked at her, his face turned contemplative. "Well, it's complicated and hard to explain." Rory was about to tell him it wasn't a big deal, that she did not need to know, but he continued before she could talk. "No, it's okay, I can explain. There are several reasons." Logan became solemn at that point.
"As I'm sure you remember, the recession really hit everyone hard, even in Silicon Valley. The company I was with was doing well, but it was going through talks of a merger about three years after I joined them. I wasn't sure of where I would end up in the company after it happened, but I knew I had done well and made a name for myself. Everything changed when my father had a heart attack. He ended up needing surgery. He never took the doctors seriously enough when they told him to slow down and watch his blood pressure.
"I flew home immediately. Even though we never got along, he was still my dad, you know? Honor was distraught. Mom was sleeping off a hangover when she wasn't smoking. I seemed to be the only one handling it okay. Looking back, I was more of a robot more than anything. I took care of the affairs. It was a difficult time.
"After he got out of surgery and gained his strength back, we had a long talk. He told me he was proud of me. He had been watching my work out west and some of his business friends had boasted about my progress. He knew he would have to ease back into the company, but he asked if I would consider coming back. He felt he didn't need to watch me anymore. I said I would consider it, and I did. I talked to my employer and found out that it wouldn't be that great if I were to stay with them. So I went to my dad and gave him some ground rules. He would let me choose where I wanted to work and he wouldn't treat me like a child anymore. I had certainly proved that I was enough. He agreed. Anyway, we worked out a deal and I ended up in London. I remembered how much I loved parts of London and even more, it was far away from him. I had nothing keeping me in the States, so it seemed like a good idea for a fresh start. I can't say I regret it all. It's helped my relationship with my parents some. Plus, I get a lot of time off to visit my niece and nephew."
"You live in London now?" Rory frowned. She did find this surprising.
"After all that, you only took out London," Logan replied with a smile.
"Well, no. I am sorry about your father. It makes sense why you went back. I'm just surprised. I thought you didn't like London."
"I didn't like being forced to go to London; there's a difference. I have some excellent memories of London," he said while glancing into her eyes. He was serious. Rory had good memories of London too, especially of that Christmas they spent together.
Faced with this new information and his subtle admission, Rory grew quiet, not furthering any conversation. Their meal over, Logan paid the bill and they left the restaurant. As they began to walk on the city streets, he turned to her and said, "you know it's only nine. My hotel is only two blocks away, and it has a bar. There's still so much I want to talk about. What do you say? Want to continue this at the bar? It's okay if you don't, though."
"Lead the way, Huntzberger."
"And then Colin said, 'I don't care if you find it freeing Finn, you won't get me in a kilt without something underneath. I don't care if it's tradition.' Finn just said, 'your loss, mate.' then proceeded to twirl around showing everyone what was going on underneath. Colin turned even redder. I thought he was going to blow a fuse." Rory laughed harder as Logan finished his story.
They had spent the last hour and a half at the bar, first reminiscing about college, but soon it led to his adventures with Colin and Finn. In a way, Rory was sad she wasn't around to experience it, but she was happy to hear they were still having fun all the same.
Their laughter died and they wound up staring at each other across the table. Logan broke it off first, deciding to focus on the glass in his hand.
"Logan?"
He looked up at her with a frown. "Yeah, Rory?"
"I just," she trailed off, wondering how to begin. "I haven't said it yet, but I'm glad you're doing well. I'm glad you're happy."
One side of Logan's mouth lifted in a wry smile. He took a sip from his scotch before replying, once again looking serious. "I guess I am. It isn't where I saw myself eight years ago, but I'm proud of how I ended up," he shrugged. His eyes fell back to his drink. "Well, mostly. There are some things I wish turned out differently," he muttered, lifting the glass to take a sip.
Rory knew he was partly talking about their breakup. It was the giant elephant in the room, but still, Rory didn't have enough courage to address it. Rory covered the hand that wasn't holding his scotch with her own and squeezed. He first looked at their joined hands, then slowly looked up into her eyes. Rory held his gaze and softly said, "I'm proud of you too, you know. I always knew you'd be great."
He gave a small smile and squeezed her hand back. "Thanks, Rory."
There was another minute where nothing was said between the two. Logan sat up straight, looked her in the eyes and said, "well, I think I've taken up enough of your time tonight." He sighed heavily, taking a final sip of his drink. "It's time for me to take you back to your hotel now. I'm glad we had a chance to do this."
"Me too." With a start, Rory realized she didn't want the night to end. She didn't want to say goodbye to him yet. She had forgotten how much she missed him all these years and just how easy it was to talk and exist with him again.
Sliding off the barstool, Logan joined Rory at her side, holding up his hand to help Rory out of her own. Whether it was the alcohol, the nerves, or the heels (or possibly all three), Rory stumbled into his arms, Logan reaching out to quickly catch her fall. Their eyes met, his eyes searching hers in question, his touch burning her skin as his hands gripped her midsection. His touch felt so familiar and yet unknown. Instinctively, she raised herself up and met his lips briefly, leaning slightly into his body. The kiss was ghostlike, just a whisper of a touch, yet it shocked her, pulling her out of her lust. Rory drew back suddenly, her eyes wide in panic. Realizing what she had done, she gathered her bag and hurried out of the bar.
Rory heard him calling her name behind her, but she kept walking. She couldn't believe she had been so stupid. She did not intend for this night to be a repeat of their past. She exited the hotel bar into the hallway but stopped as she faced the wall, realizing she didn't remember the way she came into the hotel, as her attention was focused solely on him.
Her pause allowed Logan to catch up with her. He grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him. "Rory," he said gently.
Rory cut him off before he could start talking.
"Logan, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to just attack you like that. It was a reflex, you know! I know that's probably the last thing you want from me, and I'm sorry it happened. Wait! I'm not sorry, it's not like it's bad. I didn't want to imply it was bad. Oh god, I'm messing this up," she rambled, her thoughts scattered and nerves jumpy as she tried to explain her actions.
Logan, seemingly having heard enough of her rambling, leaned down and gently kissed her. At first, Rory froze in shock, but soon she relaxed under him, kissing him back with fervor. His arms gently settled around her waist while hers went to his shoulders, slowly curling around his neck as their kiss deepened. Logan drew away, moving his face inches from hers, his breath fanning against her cheek. She felt his stubble graze across her skin as his mouth formed a grin. "Have I mentioned how glad I was to see you today?" he teased, his voice low and husky in her ear. Rory could only grin back.
"You may have mentioned it, yes," Rory replied and leaned back into his embrace, catching his lips with an urgency she had long since repressed. Feeling braver than she had in a long time, it was her that broke away this time. Moving one hand against his cheek, she angled his head down, forcing him to meet her eyes.
"Logan," she murmured.
"Yeah, Rory?"
"I don't want to go back to my hotel."
Logan searched her eyes. She had no doubts. "You're sure?"
"Yeah," she answered with a smile.
His eyes told her all she needed to know.
Rory's eyes fluttered open, the bright light of the morning sun filtering through the curtains. She would never get used to the early summer mornings at this latitude. She stretched under the covers, her hand moving to find empty sheets at her side. A muffled buzz told her the shower was running. Logan must have let her sleep in while he readied himself for work. Lifting her head off the pillow, she looked to the side table, finding the clock. The red numbers glowed six am - earlier than she thought. She felt well-rested, despite the late night the two of them shared.
She rolled over on her back, staring at the ceiling as her thoughts returned to the previous night. They had rushed up to his room, sneaking shy smiles at each other in the crowded elevator. But once his room door closed, they both became nervous. He turned to her slowly, reaching for her. She melted into his embrace, her hands gliding over the planes of his chest, before moving up to cradle his head. He pulled her away after a moment, catching her eyes while breathing hard.
"Rory, do you really want to do this?"
Rory studied his expression, seeing the hope and fear of her answer. Was she crazy to do this with him? It was just one night. She had felt lonely and bored before running into him today. But now she felt alive, energized by his touch, comforted by his gaze. She didn't want the feeling to end when she knew she could feel so much more. "Yes," she stated assuredly, reaching up to bring his lips to hers once more.
He relaxed in her arms and took control, backing her further into the room as they shed each other's clothes haphazardly on the floor. He lowered her to the bed with a gentleness that scared her, his eyes telling her an emotion she couldn't read. She pulled him down to cover her body with his, wrapping her arms tightly as if he were an apparition that would disappear if she wasn't careful. He mapped her body first with his hands and then with his lips, bringing her to a peak she'd forgotten was reachable. With unknown strength, she brought his mouth back to hers, tongues dueling in the dark as they reacquainted their bodies. Spent, they finally fell asleep some time later, her body curled around him, his arms keeping her close to his chest.
The muffled buzz ended and a small boom echoed, the sound of the shower door opening and closing. Rory rolled to her side, watching the entrance to the bathroom, waiting for his figure to emerge. After several minutes, Logan left the bathroom with a towel around his waist, water dripping from his hair. Rory gulped at the image. Her fingers traced the ridges of his body during the night, but they seemed more substantial when faced in the light. Logan was always an attractive man and physically fit, but now, he was more so. He could give models a run for their money.
He smiled at Rory as he caught her eye. "Oh good, you're up. I ordered breakfast for us. All your favorites. Sorry, I didn't wake you, but you know, duty calls and I had to get up. Plus, you looked so peaceful." He came over and kissed her cheek, brushing his hands through her hair.
"You okay?"
She gave him a small smile. "Sure, just thinking about work and stuff. I'm going to get dressed."
He looked at her for a moment, then stroked the side of her head with his palm. He smiled and leaned down to give her another brief kiss. "Okay. I'm almost done in the bathroom so it will be all yours." With a squeeze of her hand, he left her side, grabbing his clothes near his bad and closing the bathroom door.
Rory slid out of bed, reaching down to grab her underwear and dress off the floor. The fabric was wrinkly and badly creased, but it would have to do until she could get back to her hotel. At least she had her jacket to hide most of it, mitigating the obvious signs of a night spent in the arms of another. She flattened the fabric over the side of the bed, thinking perhaps a quick spray of water would help. She smiled as she took in the color. Perhaps she was wrong yesterday at the lake. This was her lucky dress.
The room service arrived quickly, filling the room with delectable scents as the finished preparing for the day. They sat at the room-provided table, tucking into their meal of eggs and toast. For several minutes only sounds of utensils and their chewing occupied the room. It gave Rory the opportunity to think, to ponder how they would talk about the events of the previous night.
"Look, I haven't been entirely truthful with you Logan," Rory began with a sigh, placing her fork back on the plate. "I'm not exactly single. I am seeing someone back in New York," she added quickly. Even though his attention was directed at his plate, she tried to observe his face for a reaction. She detected nothing.
"Is it serious?" he asked not meeting her eyes, as he continued to cut his food.
"No," she answered. "It just is." It was partly true. The man in New York was a little more than a casual friend with benefits, though she got the feeling he wished it were more. However, she didn't care to share this info with Logan.
Logan looked up from his plate, chewing his lip. "Well, that makes two of us. I'm seeing someone too." His face was still unreadable. When did she get so bad at reading him?
It was her turn to ask. "Is it serious?" He let out an even bigger sigh and stabbed at his eggs, turning them around on the plate.
"She's a friend of the family. We get along well enough," he shrugged. His forehead creased in a frown, he added, "we met at a banquet through our parents. It helped to pass the time to talk to her. After a while, it became natural always to take her. We saved ourselves from boredom. She lives in Paris, so we don't see each other often, just when there's a party or she's in town for work. Our parents approve, though. We've become the parent-pleasers," he said with a wry smile.
Great, now Rory felt worse as she heard him describe the woman back home. It was one thing for Rory, getting so caught up in the past that she forgot where she was. But now, she dragged him into her mess as well, his woman in Paris an unknowing victim in Rory's game.
"Logan, what are we doing here?" she asked with a small voice, her mind whirring as she faced the ugly truth behind their meeting.
"I'm eating eggs. You were eating toast."
"No, I mean this. What does it mean Logan? What are we doing here?"
Logan set down his fork and clasped both hands under his chin. "I think it means there's still something there. I'm not lying when I said I've missed you. We had something good for a long time. And I enjoyed seeing you last night. I had fun. I honestly can't remember when I had this much fun," he ended with a grin, his eyes bright.
Rory looked away quickly. "And I would like to see you again and give this another shot. If you'd agree," he suggested, his eyes holding a hint of hope when she turned to him in disbelief.
Her breath caught at his proposal. Maybe he did take this encounter more seriously than she thought. Perhaps he wasn't as involved with the other woman, her heart unknowingly feeling a bit lighter.
"We can't." She shook her head, the realities of their situations hitting her in force. "I'm in New York when I'm not traveling and you're in London."
"And that stopped us? We've done it before," he reasoned. "I think we managed pretty well back when you were a senior."
"And we were miserable because we didn't get to see each other enough. I don't think that's fair, either," Rory countered if only to diminish her own hope.
But she wasn't prepared to say goodbye to him just yet. They could find a way to make this work to their benefit. It would be incredibly selfish of her, surely, but she wanted him. Despite her conscious telling her no, she still longed for his friendship, ached for his touch, wanted to hear his voice. She took a deep breath, readying herself for her speech.
"No, I think we can make this work if we want it to. We can see each other when we see each other. This way, we can go about our daily lives like nothing has changed," she proposed, her faith in the idea growing as she spoke. "And we won't be as miserable as we were back then," she added, thinking back to the hard nights when they lived thousands of miles apart, never quite able to establish a decent contact schedule. How she laid awake at night, wondering if he was content with their situation.
Logan studied her for a moment, considering her words before he replied, "so, you want to go back to a no-strings arrangement?" His brows lifted in slight alarm at her nod. "I'm surprised, Rory. I don't remember you being a fan of the no-strings thing. And what about the people we're dating? Are you going to keep seeing your guy? Do you want me to break it off with her?"
Rory was slightly bewildered at his reaction. Logan was the king of no-strings agreements before she met him. Wouldn't he understand the purpose? It was just sex (albeit terrific sex), and it was all life afforded them at the moment. It would have to do if they wanted to stay in each other's lives. She knew from experience that they couldn't be just friends, just friends with slightly more benefits than most. She no longer had serious flings; it wasn't in her nature. No hurt on her end and from his earlier statement, none on his either.
"It's not a no-strings, not exactly. We'll always have strings; it's us. We do things differently. It's just the way we are," she rationalized. "It will be more like 'when we're together we're together; when we're not, we're not.' We'll get together when we can. Therefore, we can still have that other part of our lives when we have to part again. We'll stay with our people back home. This way we can never be truly miserable and lonely. I've been to those parties; frankly, you need all the help you can get."
Logan didn't look too convinced. "No-strings is easier to say than that whole phrase."
"Listen, it's like Vegas. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. What happens in Hamburg, stays in Hamburg." Rory was starting to like her plan more. Yes, they could make this work.
Logan raised his eyebrows. "A Vegas agreement, huh? Well, if you're sure."
Rory was confident. "I am positive. In fact, I travel to London quite a bit. We could see each other there."
"You do? Well, ain't that something," he quipped flatly, ending the subject.
The two eventually finished their meal, making small talk throughout the rest of the morning. But they didn't mention their new Vegas agreement again. She gathered her things and made herself acceptable to the public, while she watched him from the corner of her eye as he finished gathering his things ready for work. They made their way to the lobby together; Logan was to go back to some meeting and Rory back to her hotel. She needed to change her attire before heading back to the conference. They stopped awkwardly outside the doors of the hotel and turned to each other. Neither knew exactly how to say goodbye.
Logan spoke first, breaking the tension. "You'll call me, right? You have my number?" At Rory's nod he continued, "then please call or text me. If you need anything at all, don't hesitate to ask. Even if you just want to gossip okay?" Logan stared at her again with a look in his eyes Rory couldn't decipher. "You need a car to take you back?"
"No, I think I'll walk first. Thanks, though." She kissed his cheek. "We'll talk soon, I promise."
He smiled at her, squeezed her shoulder, then left to leave. After five steps, his body paused before turning back to her with a grin. "It was good to see you again, Ace. Until next time," he called out, then continued his way down the sidewalk. Rory couldn't help the ridiculous smile that was on her face. Oh yes, this arrangement was going to work just fine.
Rory left his hotel, ambling back to the lake. It wasn't too far of a walk. She stood again at the railing, feeling the cool breeze tease her hair, shading her eyes as the morning sun glittered off the water's surface. There were swans out again today. She liked swans. The swans led her back to Logan.
AN: For those of you who would like to see the location of where Rory meets Logan, there is a post on my Tumblr (see profile for address) detailing the history of the Binnenalster and the swans. It's quite interesting and plays a unique role in this story. It is also a beautiful place, so it's worth checking out if you're ever in the area.
On my Tumblr, I will post updates and any extra notes that I care to put with the chapters. Everything is tagged for easy navigation. I do explain some decisions I make regarding this story, so if you're interested, check it out.
If you've gotten this far, thanks for sticking with it. I'm not a fan of the first chapter - I do think this story gets better in the later chapters. Do you think it stinks? That's cool too! Please let me know in a review! Always better for me to know the honest truth than to keep writing! Thank you!
This is an updated version of the chapter that was first posted on December 5, 2016
