MiST #1 of Animorph TV
By: Aquaian Goddess
Disclaimer: This was done for fun, all flames will be laughed at. The script was supplied by Aquatta (Mail her @ AquattaFGJ@aol.com)
Notes: Thought-speech with be represented with *s and all things in ~These~ are my comments, and the stuff in ^These^ is my muse, Marco, from the Animorphs.
^HEY! Why can't Joe, Matt, Tai or Izzy do this!?^
~Because Joe's hanging out with Izzy and Matt and Tai are trying to kill each other.~
^Good reason. Warning: Some joke are VERY perverted or offensive.^
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Episode #1-My Name is Jake
(Scene opens with Jake walking down the street with him doing a voice-over)
^I thought Jake had brown hair.^
~He does, casting department screwed up already!~
^::scribbles something on a peice of paper:: Black mark for them.^
Jake Voice-over- My name is Jake. Half an hour ago I was just a regular kid. Not anymore. It's amazing how quickly your whole life can change.
~And we all care about you going through puberty because?~
^Yeah, one minute you have brown hair and then next, POOF! You're a BLONDE!^
(A flash of whats to come is shown, then the scene changes to Cyberia where Jake and Marco are playing a Beast Wars video game.)
^Oh! Scene change! Yay!^
~It's not SUPPOSED to be a Beast Wars game, it's supposed to be something else, but they USED a Beast Wars game.~
^At least theyre resourceful.^
Computer- Congradulations Galactic Warrior. You are now in the Overlord Palace(slightly indesipherable) with two hundred thirty thousand points. Please enter your name.
(The name is entered as Jake)
~Didn't he just SAY his name was Jake? Why did he have to tell us that again?~
^That part was obviously sponsered by the Department of Redundacy Department.^
Computer- Getting enemy overload surge-
(The computer becomes unheard as Marco fights with Jake over the controls. Homer is nearby)
~What's a dog doing in this Cyberia place? Why do the Canadians even HAVE a place like Cyberia?~
^I dont know, but if they had a place like that here, you know you'd spend more of your life there then you do playing your Playstation and working on your website.^
~I hate it when you have a point.~
Marco- I'll get you to (word is undesipherable)
Jake- Are you dreaming again Marco?
~This can't be a dream, Marco was supposed to have LONG HAIR in the beginning of the series. Mister Cabera here doesn't. THIS IS A NIGHTMARE!~
^Isn't a Cabera an animal in the Amazon rain forest? ::notices the hair:: AHH! MY HAIR! What did they DO?!^
Marco- Come on,
Jake- What do you think Homer?
(Homer looks up and barks twice)
Marco- See? See?
~What the dog was actually trying to say was, 'Why dont you let ME play since I have better acting skills then both of you combined?' ~
^Isn't that dog a girl? I thought Homer was a boy! The things Jake hides from me.^
Jake(rolling his eyes)- All right, you're on. Go.
(Marco takes the controls and starts playing. Tobias is in a corner playing the same game. Other kids are watching him)
Computer- Congradulations Wolf(?) You are now in the magi-oxysphere(sounds like that) with three million, six hundred and sixty thousand points.
^HA! Tobias is better at this game then myself and Jake! ::sobs:: I'll never live it down!^
~And he has a leather jacket! Not to mention cool hair, even though HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN CASTED AS JAKE, he's still okay.~
(The camera toggles ~Wow toggling! New word for my vocabulary!~ ^What vocabulary?^ between Marco and Jake and Tobias. An alarm sounds, Tobias' game stops)
Computer- Alert! Alert! Please enter more coins. One minute playing time to go.
~Wouldnt it be more affective to warn them when they have FIVE minutes playing time?~
^A FIRST! You actually have a point there AG!^
~::pouting:: Marco, that's so cruel. ::Scowling:: Save it for the MiST!~
(Tobias goes to his pocket, but then changes his mind and clicks the keyboard)
~No, he didn't change his mind, he has no money left.~
^::as Tobias:: Damn! I ran out of money that was supposed to be for that hooker my uncle wanted. Oh well^
Computer- Mission failed.
~::in a monotone:: I am a Heero Yuy Wanna be.~
^HA! Foolish boy! See, I would have just asked Jake for money.^
Kid- Don't you want to see what's next?
Tobias- Later.
~There will never be a later, young padawan! ~
^You'll never go back there again! Hahahahahahaa!^
(He gets up and walks out, bumping into Rachel and Cassie)
^No, he only bumped into Rachel.^
~Which caused her the drag him into a nearby closet and make out with him.~
Rachel(to Tobias)- Oh, hi.
~Rachel, what obvious brown roots you have!~
^Rachels eyes are brown. Arent they supposed to be blue?^
(Tobias leaves. The girls make their way towards the guys)
Rachel- Hey guys.
Jake- Where have you been?
^You were supposed to meet me in the closet so we could make out.^
Marco- One word. Sale.
~::Shrugs:: Can't diss that one, it's most likely true.~
^Book Rachel was ever the shop-aholic, wasn't she?^ (Marco and Jake laugh)
Rachel- Excuse me, but I am captain of the gymnastics team. We had a meet.
~::Scowls:: Gymnastics teams HAVE NO CAPTIAN! And a gymnastics meet is when teams go up against other teams in compitions!::grumbles::~
^Therefore what you were really doing was SHOPPING! ADMIT IT!^
(Jake and Marco return to their game)
Rachel- So what have you been doing, Galactic Warrior?
Marco- Shh, shh.
(The computer starts talking, but slows and falters. The game breaks up and fuzzes as if there were interferance. Homer starts barking)
~::As the Computer:: I just relized what bad actors you are, youre not allowed to play anymore.~
^::Sighs:: I could have done better.^
Marco- Hey! Whats going on? That's not fair,
Jake- You just got blown away.
^Whoa, I got blown?^
~::Slaps him upside the head:: NOT THAT KIND OF BLOWN! Get that sick mind of yours out of the gutter.~
Marco- Eh heh,
(Homer barks again then runs off)
Jake- Homer! No! Homer! Homer!
(They all run out except for Marco)
Marco- Jake! We already payed for another twenty minutes!
^So use it up nimrod.^
~Marco got dissed, BY HIMSELF!~
(Marco makes a face then runs after them. They chase Homer towards the site)
Jake- Come on boy, let's go!
^He is going, away from you, but at least he's going somewhere!^
~He's running from their bad acting.~
Marco- Looks like those obediance classes are paying off.
^Now that's a me comment, almost.^
Cassie- What's up with him anyway?
Jake- I don't know. But we have to get him back.
^You do to know what's up with him. LIAR!^
~You forgot to get him nutered so he's off to find his Boston Terrier lover.~
(The camera again toggles ~There it is again!~ ^What?^ ~TOGGLES!~ between the others chasing Homer closer to the site and Tobias walking towards the site)
Jake- Homer! Where you going?
~Yes Jake, the dog is going to answer back~
Rachel- Homer!
Jake- Homer come here!
Marco- Homer!
Jake- Homer stop! This isnt funny!
^Yes it is. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!^
(Homer squeezes through a half opened gate. Tobias, on another end of the site I guess, goes through a gate)
Rachel- What's over there? Homer?
Marco- This place creeps me out,
^Wait, it's supposed to be a construcction site, not a plant of some sort.^
Cassie- Hey guys, it's getting late.
~And we care because?~
(The kids sneak in the same way as Homer did)
^They dug underneath the gate??^
~No way, they snuck in the Tobias way! ~
Rachel- We looked everywhere, he's not here.
~You just got there dorkus, you haven't looked everywhere yet.~
^Dorkus?? ^
Jake- We've got to find him. Come on Homer! Come on!
(They all spilt up, calling and whistling. Jake spots Marco and Cassie)
Jake- Do you see him?
Cassie- No.
Marco- Nada, man. Yo, Homer!
~Presenting the correct way to call a dog. YO!~
^I think I made it very clear in book number 20 that I do not use the word 'yo' at all. I am not a 'yo' person. That time was the only exception.^
Rachel- Hey! He's over here!
(They find Tobias standing with Homer sitting next to him)
Cassie- He seems okay now.
Jake- Hey, thanks.
Tobias- Sure.
Jake- Come here Homer. Come on, good boy,
~::singing:: Come on over, come on over baby!~
Rachel(walking to Tobias)- You're new around here, right?
^Yeah I am, but I'm in most of your classes and you said 'hi' to me, not to mention we spoke the first day I WENT TO YOUR SCHOOL!!!^
Tobias(pointing)- Look.
~It's your brain, Brooke.~
^Floating out in space? I'm not surprised.^
(They all turn to see a UFO coming towards them)
Cassie- Whoa,
Jake- Look at that,
^Cute girl! ::TV Marco, TV Jake and TV Tobias go after her, ignoring the UFO::^
Rachel- Too weird.
~That you are Brooke.~
(They see it crash. They run to it and find it. Jake steps forward)
Jake- Let's go.
Marco(holding Jake back)- Whoa, wait. I don't think so.
Cassie- What if someone's hurt?
Rachel- She's right. I'm in.
Marco- Huh? You're insane.
^FINIALLY! A direct 'me' quote! ^
(They all walk off. Marco makes another face)
Marco-Oh man. Wait up!
(They run closer to the ship. A strong wind blows. The door of the ship opens, bathing the five in light. Homer barks as a creature comes out, they hear its hooves walking down the plank)
^Ohhh, the light. ^
Jake- There's something coming out.
^Duh.^
~No, there's nothing coming out. You're all insane an this is just a hallucination.~
Marco- Uh huh. This is the part where we hide amigo.
^SINCE WHEN DO I USE SPANISH ON A REGULAR BASIS?! I ONLY KNOW 50 DAMN WORDS!^
(They hide behind a bunch of junk, they stare at the creature who is still walking)
~Hey, I can still see them. They didn't hide very well in my humble opinion.~
Rachel- What is it?
Marco- I, I dont know but its definately not from my hood.
~Now youre a Ghetto Peuto Rican Marco?~
^NOOO! SPARE ME!^
(They watch the creature collapse, obviously hurt. Cassie jumps up, the others pull her down.)
~The Creature looks like a demented furby.~
^You mean it isn't?^
Marco- What are you doing?
Cassie- It looks like it's hurt.
Marco- Yeah, so?
Rachel- So we have to help it.
^Who's we? ^
Marco- What if it's, like, radioactive or something?
Rachel- Oh, please.
~We all know Brooke's radioactive~
(They all slowly start walking towards the Andalite. Homer barks)
Jake- Stay.
Marco- Oh, sure, the dog gets to stay.
^Yes, you have to save the best actor you know.^
Rachel- Maybe we should try talking to it.
Marco- Yeah. Just let me get out my Alien-English dictionary.
^::Pulls one out:: Marco no baka. ^
~::Grabs it:: Thats a Japanese English Dictionary, BAKA! ~
^Then what did I just say? ^
~Roughly Translated? Marco you idiot.~
Elfangor- *Do not be afraid. I mean you no harm.*
(They look around, confused)
Jake- Where did that come from?
Marco- I heard it, but I didn't hear it.
~I love it when they contradict themselves.~
Tobias- I heard it. In my head.
~^::Both singing:: I hear the voices in my head I swear to God it sounds like they're snoring..... ^~
Rachel- We all heard it.
Elfangor- *I am speaking to you in thoughts.*
~REALLY? COOL!~
(He makes a pained sound. Cassie steps forward)
Cassie- You're hurt. We can help you.
~::As TV Marco:: We? Who's 'we'? YOU can help it, yeah, WE can't.~
^Almost like me, not quite, Christina.^
Elfangor- *I am Elfangor of the Andalite World. Ive come-*
~To suck you brains out through your nose with a straw.~
^You can't, they have no brains.^
(He moans slightly, in tremendous pain)
~How can you moan slightly and be in tremendous pain at the same time?~
^That's an oxymoron isn't it?^
Cassie- Jake give me your shirt. He's wounded.
~STRIP TEASE! STRIP TEASE!~
^::As TV Jake:: Cassie! Not here, the others are here!^
(Jake takes off his jacket and hands it to Cassie. She presses it to Elfangors wound)
Elfangor- *There's nothing you can do for me.*
^Yes there is. SOMEONE GET A CAMERA!^
Rachel- It's going to be okay. Cassie knows a lot about animals.
~They're assuming a cross between a Dr. Suess puppet and a demented Furby on crack is an animal. ~
^They're assuming a bit much aren't they?^
Marco- Way to insult the guy Rach,
Elfangor- *The wound is fatal. I will die. But there will be others.*
^Others? THERES MORE EPISODES?!?!^
Jake- Others?
Elfangor- *Unlike me, they have come to destroy you. There is no time for fear. You must help your world. But you must protect yourselves from the Yeerks.*
~^::shrug::^~ ^Let them take over, we don't care.^
~Really. ~
Marco- The whats?
Elfangor- *The Yeerks. They are-*(He raises a hand up. ~^::Imitating Diana Ross and the Supremes:: Stop! In the Name on love! Before you break my heart!^~ He sends them a vision of what he explains) *The Yeerks are parasites. They must have a host to live in. On Earth, their hosts are humans. They enter your brain and take over your thoughts and feelings. These hosts are called Controllers. They can be anyone. Your family. Your friends. Earth is their next target.*
^::dull voice::We're doomed.^
~Now now, none of that. I wanna hear you up beat!~
^::Up beat kind of voice:: Were doomed!^
Marco- Wait a sec, you're telling my that some slimy, alien slug can crawl into our brains and take over our minds?
^What minds?^
Rachel- And control us?
~Yes. HA! April Fools! You humans are so easy!~
Elfangor- *Yes. There is no time for questions. I must do what I can for you. I have no choice. I can give you a way to fight the Yeerks.*
(Elfangor holds up a glowing cube)
^Wasn't Jake supposed to go inside the ship to get that?^
~He pulled it out of Spandexdom!~
^NO GUNDAM WING REFERALS!^
Elfangor- *Each of you must touch one side of the cube.*
Marco- I'm not touching that.
^Screw saving the world. I'm going home!^
Elfangor- *If you don't, then everything you love will be destroyed. Your brothers,*
~GOOD! LET THEM ALL DIE! They mean nothing to me!~
(Marco looks up at Jake)
Elfangor- *Your sisters,*
(A shot of Rachel)
Elfangor- *Your parents.*
(Close up of Tobias)
~He doesnt have any, why should he care? ~
Jake- Rachel, I don't know.
Rachel- You heard him. We have no choice.
Marco- Man this is insane!
~YAY! ~
^Another me quote!^
(Jake reaches forward and touches the cube. It glows a redish color. Then Rachel, Cassie, Marco touch the cube. Tobias is standing a step away from them)
Elfangor- *This gift is for you too, Tobias.*
Tobias- How do you know my name?
~::Darth Vader voice:: Tobias I am your father.~
^::As Tobias:: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!^
Elfangor- *Hurry.*
(Tobias reaches forward and touches the cube. The wind blows strong, Homer barks)
~YEAH! Homer wants the power too you know! ~
Marco- Now what?
^You get lots of Spandex and give yourselves super cheesy names.^
Jake- Something's wrong.
(All of a sudden they pull their hands away with a gasp)
Elfangor- *It is done. The power to change is in your flesh.*
Jake- Change? What kind of change?
Elfangor- *You need only to touch a creature to aquire its DNA pattern and change your form.*
~In English please! We're not all in Science Regents! ~
^But you ARE in science regents. ^
~But other people aren't. ~
Rachel- Change our form?
~NO! Change your clothes!~
^The ablity to change clothing in two seconds! It's gonna be a hit in gym class.^
Cassie- You mean we can change into animals?
^Oh Cassie. Ever the swift one aren't you?^
~::Holds up a sign:: "Down with Animal Fur Coats! There are more humans out there."~
^::looks sick:: You scare me sometimes ^
Elfangor- *Exactly. You can become any animal you touch and aquire. But remember, when you change you must return to your human form in two Earth hours.*
Tobias- Why? What happens after two hours?
Elfangor- *You'll be trapped in an animal form forever.*
^::Scary Music:: ^
(The ground shakes as another spacecraft lands)
Jake- What's going on?
^The Yeerkish are comeing! The Yeerkish are coming!^
~::Winces:: BAD joke Marco. Not one of your best.~
(Marco also says something, but I can't hear it)
^AHH! Its an anime dub! AHHH!^
Rachel- What's happening?
Elfangor- *Visser Three is here!*
~::Twirls noise makers and boos::~
Marco- What's a Visser Three?
~::Twirls Noisemarkers and boos::~
Elfangor- *You must go! Go!*
(Rachel and Cassie try to help him up)
Elfangor- *Your lives are more important than mine, now go! Go!*
^LIAR! No they aren't!^
~Why don't they just aquire Elfangor THEN run?~
(He sees Tobias)
Elfangor- *Tobias!*
(Tobias stops and looks back.)
Elfangor- *Guard this Tobias! With your heart and your soul!*
(Elfangor throws a disk towards him, but Tobias misses. Rachel pulls his arm)
~WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THAT?!!?!~
^I know! There's no disk in the books!^
~NO! I mean with Rachel pulling on him like that!~
Rachel- Tobias come on!
Tobias- But I have to get it!
^No you dont, its just the latest Matalica CD. No Biggie.^
(The five hide again. ~Poorly I might add, again.~ Out of the other ship another Andalite steps out)
Jake- It's another one.
~^DUH!^~
Cassie- No, this one's different.
Marco- I'm guessing that's Visser Three.
~::Twirls noise-makers and boos::~
^No, that's Superman.^
~REALLY?!~
(Visser Three stands over Elfangor. He doesn't notice the kids)
~HOW CAN HE NOT NOTICE THEM?!?!! ~
Visser Three- *Prince Elfangor, what an honor it is to be in the presence of a legend.*
(Visser Three laughs, Elfangor looks up but can't stand)
Visser Three- *You've managed to shred quite a few of our fighters.*
Elfangor- *Visser Three.*
~::Twirls Noisemakers and boos::~
^Yes, we cleared that up a while ago. ::Glares at AG:: ENOUGH WITH THAT JOKE! No one except another Jewish person thats heard that Jewish story in synogouge, or however its spelled, would get that joke!^
~I know, but it's so much fun!~
Visser Three- *Yes, I have taken one of your Andalite bodies as my host. Your Andalite morphing technology has been some very useful to me.*
~::As Elfangor, drinking tea:: We don't care, youre STILL pathetic, hiding behind morphs to fight your battles. ::stop being Elfangor:: YOU WEAKLING! INJUSTICE!~
^What did I say about the Gundam Wing referals, Christina!^
Elfangor- *No matter how many bodies you steal, you will not win this war. We will fight.*
^That doesn't mean you'll win, dude.^
Visser Three- *You and your Andalite army are fighting on too many fronts. Your forces are spread too thin. This world will soon be ours.*
Elfangor- *Why Earth? Why these people?*
Visser Three- *Because there are so many. And they are so weak.
~Not to mention stupid!~
^You're dissing out the human race you know. ^
~For the sake of the joke, Marco, for the sake of the joke. ~
Visser Three-*Our army will be a billion strong. And then I promise you one thing Elfangor. I will return to your world and personally oversee the infestation of your entire family.*
^YAY! Infest them all!^
~PARTY!~
(Visser Three begins to morph into a huge creature)
Visser Three- *I hope they resist so that I can hear their minds scream.*
^He's sadistic! INSANE!^
~HE'S JUST LIKE ME! ~
(Visser Three laughs, then roars in his morph. Then he picks up Elfangor. The kids cringe and look away, all you can see is the shadow of the creature eating Elganfor)
~Tastes like...~
^If you say chicken, you're dead.^
~Swordfish. It could use some salt.~
^NOW YOU'RE QUOTING JAKE?!^
Rachel- No!
Controller #1- Hey! You there!
(Flashlights are pointed at the five)
^What? They aren't worthy of searchlights? ^
~::As Rachel:: This spotlight's not big enough for the five of us! ~
Jake- We gotta get out of here! Come on!
~Run, Jake. Run. ~
^Okay Obi-Wan. ^
Marco- Come on, let's go!
Rachel- They've seen us!
~REALLY? It's your fault they saw you! ~
Jake- Run!
Controller #1- Over there!
(Human Controllers look around where the kids were hiding)
Controller #2- Tell Visser Three that we have a problem. Release the Hork-Bajir.
~Release the hounds!~
^::Blinks:: He sounds like a Russian Nazi communist.^
~So Indiana Jones.~
(The kids run)
~And they're off! Cassie's in the lead, followed closely by Jake. Marco's in thrid and..What's this? Tobias and Rachel are making out in the middle of the track!~
Jake- Come on Homer, come on let's go!
(Cassie screams as she trips and her foot is tangled in wires. ~HA HA!~ ^Klutz^ Rachel and Tobias quickly try to get her free. Marco and Jake spot a Hork-Bajir)
Marco- What is that?
Jake- Want to hang around to find out?
Marco- No thanks. I'll read the book.
~My Life as a Hork-Bajir Controller, By Ali En.~
^Good one.^
Tobias- Cassie's stuck!
~And another one states the obvious~
(Marco runs to them and tries helping. Jake runs and waves his arms)
Jake- Hey! Hey! Over here! Hey stupid, over here!
^::As Hork-Bajir in snotty English voice:: Who are you callig stupid homo-sapian! I have a docterette in psycology, physialogy and in human chemistry.^
~::Blinks:: Whoa. ~
Rachel- Jake no!
~That's right, give away his identity!~
^Yeah, You still havent screwed her yet!^
~EWW! INSEST! ~
Jake- Come on! I'm right here! Come on! Let's go!
^MOM! Jake's hitting on the Hork-Bajir again! ^
(Jake start running, the Hork-Bajir runs after him. They go away from the others. Human Controllers follow them as well, yelling. The Hork-Bajir slashes at Jake, ripping his shirt. Jake crawls into a pipe, the other side is blocked.)
~Wonderful Jake. What's next? Turning into a pimp and making Cassie your hooker?~
^WHAT THE HELL! It walks like a drunk, has funky-lookin vision! WHAT'S NEXT?! ^
Jake- Great.
~We now cut to a Commercial.~
^Ha ha! You're screwed!^
(Outside, he sees a shadow. It's Homer)
Jake- Homer! Homer, come here boy. Come here, come on. Homer it's you, come here.
~I thought Homer was a girl! ~
(Outside the pipe)
Chapman- Keep looking! They have to be somewhere.
^::scary music:: We aren't supposed to know it's Chapman yet, dummy.^
Controller #2- We lost them in the woods.
Chapman- Then go after them! You! One of them is still here. Track him down or answer to Visser Three.
Controller #3- Right.
(The Controller runs off)
Chapman- The incompetence.
~HEY! He stole my word! ~
^Your word is 'Insolence'. ^
~THATS NOT THE POINT! ~
(Jake sees a pair of boots standing outside. One reaches up to scratch the other leg then walks away. ~There's also a glint of shiny metal, belonging to Chapmans Wing tip shoes.~ Then Hork-Bajir feet walk by)
Jake- I need your help Homer.
~No you don't! You need a head doctor kid, not mine.~
(Jake pets Homer, aquires him then morphs into Homer. Outside, Controllers walk to Chapman)
^HEY! He morphed his clothes!^
Controller #3- The footprints lead to that pipe.
Chapman- Come on out of there son!
~How do they know it's a boy?~
(Jake and Homer run out. Jake grabs a flashlight from a Controller.)
Controller #3- Hey! Get back here!
Visser Three- *Did you find them?*
Chapman- No sir. Just a couple of dogs.
^Dogs that are smart enough to grab a flashlight from you? Really Chapman, I thought they don't infest the slow-witted.^
Visser Three- *Get those dogs you fool! They might be Andalites!*
(Two Homers are seen running through the woods. One carries a flashlight. The next day at school, Cassie, Rachel and Marco sit at a table together.)
Cassie- Last night when I got home, I called Jake. He didn't answer.
~Yeah, Tom answered. He said Jake left talking about a strip bar. ~
Rachel- He's smart. Hell show up.
^Jake? Smart? In the same sentance? Not in this TV show.^
(Tobias walks in. Rachel stands and raises her hand)
~Yes Rachel?~
^Teacher, Jake's hitting me again! ^
Rachel- Hey Tobias!
^::Screams:: NOT TOBIAS!^
~ANYONE BUT HIM!~
(Marco nods to him. Tobias waves then sits next to Marco)
Marco- You know, the funniest thing happened to me last night. Some blue dude with four legs put me and a few other idiots to try to save the world.
^At least he got the idiots part right. But the saving the world part was optional.^
Rachel- Quiet. Do you want someone to hear you?
~Oh, so you only want Marco to talk dirty to YOU huh? ~
^::Grins:: Only the book Rachel I'd do that for.^
Cassie- What if that thing got him?
(Jake walks over and puts his luch tray down, making the others jump)
Jake- It didn't. Listen,
~NOOO! You're still alive?! DAMN IT ALL TO HELL! ~
(The others gather closer, Jake whispers)
Jake- I did it. I mean, it works. I became Homer last night. That's how I got away.
^::As TV Marco:: You did it? With Cassie? Dude! You scored before me man!^
Marco- You serious?
Jake- It was so bizzare. I was trapped. I had no other choice and I remembered what the alien said. So I put my hand on Homer and just started concentrating. All of a sudden, I started mutating. I could hear my bones crunching and twisting.
^::Looks sick:: Oh man.^
Marco- Oh man,
~AHH! You predicted what he'd say! ~
Jake- I watched my hand become a paw. I became my dog.
Rachel- You were Homer?
~^ Doh! ^~
Jake- Well, actually a copy. I mean, Homer was there too.
Marco- Did it hurt?
^::As TV Jake:: It hurt like HELL man! Dont the Andalites have Novicain or something?! ^
Jake- No, not really. I mean, it's hard to explain. At first I didnt know what I was. I, I mean I could hear everything. And the smells!
(Jake notices the others are looking at him skeptically)
Jake- You don't believe me, do you?
~Of course we do. BRING IN THE STRIGHT JACKET MARV! ~
Marco- No, no, we do, really. We just, it's just, it's just too weird. Beyond too weird.
^Why are they talking about it in public? They cant be THAT stupid, can they?^
~They are that stupid. ~
Rachel- Way beyond.
Jake- But I swear, it's true. I mean, I keep on thinking Im going to wake up and this is all going to be a dream. But its not. What we saw last night was real. It happened. Right? It happened.
(The others don't answer for a minute)
Marco- So now what? Save the world? Can we eat first?
~::laughs, then stops:: No.~
Rachel- Stop kidding. What do we do? Where do we start?
Marco- How about that blue dude? You know, the nice one?
Tobias- Elfangor.
Jake- Yeah. He tried to give you something.
Rachel- What was it?
Tobias- It looked like some kind of a disk or something. It's gotta be important. He said that I should guard it with my heart and my soul.
Rachel- He knew your name. How come?
~::As TV Tobias:: Cause hes my father. Every father knows their son's name right? ~
^Uhh. no?^
Tobias- Like I know. I mean, he's probably telepathic or something.
Cassie- But that disk. It's gotta be able to help us somehow.
Jake- We have to get it back.
~You never had it in the first place dorkus. ~
^Again with the 'dorkus' thing.^
Marco- Are you kidding me?
Jake- Shh!
Marco- They practically got us on the FBI's ten most wanted list. Did you hear the news?
^News? You mean that we were in the news? COOL!^
Jake- Yeah, they're looking for some kids who were setting off fireworks.
Rachel- Fireworks? Huh, that's a laugh.
~::crickets chirp:: No one's laughing. ~
^Hey, at least theyre TRYING to stick with the story line.^
Cassie- Then theyre lying. Maybe they got Yeerks in their heads.
Marco- That means the Yeerks could be anyone.
(A kid trips and lands by their table. They jump. Someone helps the kid up and they walk away)
^You mean like that kid?^
~Nah, hes just stoned. ~
Rachel- If they saw our faces, they would have caught us by now.
(A couple of kids start fighting, but stop as Chapman walks by)
Jake- We can't talk here. Anyone can be one of them.
Cassie- A Controller.
^REALLY?! I couldn't tell.^
(They look around the cafeteria. Chapman stops by the monitor)
Chapman- Is anyone going to reign in this chaos or do I have to do everything myself?
~::As Monitor:: Dude, I'm reading. YOU can control the little twits, I'm out of here. ~
Monitor- I'm sorry Mr. Chapman.
(She gets up and walks quickly away)
Chapman- The incompetence.
(Jake notices Chapman lift one boot to scratch his leg, then realizes it was him at the site)
Jake- Come here,
(The others gather close to Jake. He whispers again)
Jake- From now on we just talk to each other. Trust no one. Principal Chapman is a Controller.
^PRINCIPAL?!! When did CHAPMAN BECOME A FRICKIN PRINCIPAL?!^
(They all sit back, the others seem shocked. Jake's voice over again)
Jake Voice Over- Five of us against an army of alien slugs. And anyone can be one of them.
^Of course you can forget about all the 25 someodd Yeerks in the Peace Movement.^
By: Aquaian Goddess
Disclaimer: This was done for fun, all flames will be laughed at. The script was supplied by Aquatta (Mail her @ AquattaFGJ@aol.com)
Notes: Thought-speech with be represented with *s and all things in ~These~ are my comments, and the stuff in ^These^ is my muse, Marco, from the Animorphs.
^HEY! Why can't Joe, Matt, Tai or Izzy do this!?^
~Because Joe's hanging out with Izzy and Matt and Tai are trying to kill each other.~
^Good reason. Warning: Some joke are VERY perverted or offensive.^
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Episode #1-My Name is Jake
(Scene opens with Jake walking down the street with him doing a voice-over)
^I thought Jake had brown hair.^
~He does, casting department screwed up already!~
^::scribbles something on a peice of paper:: Black mark for them.^
Jake Voice-over- My name is Jake. Half an hour ago I was just a regular kid. Not anymore. It's amazing how quickly your whole life can change.
~And we all care about you going through puberty because?~
^Yeah, one minute you have brown hair and then next, POOF! You're a BLONDE!^
(A flash of whats to come is shown, then the scene changes to Cyberia where Jake and Marco are playing a Beast Wars video game.)
^Oh! Scene change! Yay!^
~It's not SUPPOSED to be a Beast Wars game, it's supposed to be something else, but they USED a Beast Wars game.~
^At least theyre resourceful.^
Computer- Congradulations Galactic Warrior. You are now in the Overlord Palace(slightly indesipherable) with two hundred thirty thousand points. Please enter your name.
(The name is entered as Jake)
~Didn't he just SAY his name was Jake? Why did he have to tell us that again?~
^That part was obviously sponsered by the Department of Redundacy Department.^
Computer- Getting enemy overload surge-
(The computer becomes unheard as Marco fights with Jake over the controls. Homer is nearby)
~What's a dog doing in this Cyberia place? Why do the Canadians even HAVE a place like Cyberia?~
^I dont know, but if they had a place like that here, you know you'd spend more of your life there then you do playing your Playstation and working on your website.^
~I hate it when you have a point.~
Marco- I'll get you to (word is undesipherable)
Jake- Are you dreaming again Marco?
~This can't be a dream, Marco was supposed to have LONG HAIR in the beginning of the series. Mister Cabera here doesn't. THIS IS A NIGHTMARE!~
^Isn't a Cabera an animal in the Amazon rain forest? ::notices the hair:: AHH! MY HAIR! What did they DO?!^
Marco- Come on,
Jake- What do you think Homer?
(Homer looks up and barks twice)
Marco- See? See?
~What the dog was actually trying to say was, 'Why dont you let ME play since I have better acting skills then both of you combined?' ~
^Isn't that dog a girl? I thought Homer was a boy! The things Jake hides from me.^
Jake(rolling his eyes)- All right, you're on. Go.
(Marco takes the controls and starts playing. Tobias is in a corner playing the same game. Other kids are watching him)
Computer- Congradulations Wolf(?) You are now in the magi-oxysphere(sounds like that) with three million, six hundred and sixty thousand points.
^HA! Tobias is better at this game then myself and Jake! ::sobs:: I'll never live it down!^
~And he has a leather jacket! Not to mention cool hair, even though HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN CASTED AS JAKE, he's still okay.~
(The camera toggles ~Wow toggling! New word for my vocabulary!~ ^What vocabulary?^ between Marco and Jake and Tobias. An alarm sounds, Tobias' game stops)
Computer- Alert! Alert! Please enter more coins. One minute playing time to go.
~Wouldnt it be more affective to warn them when they have FIVE minutes playing time?~
^A FIRST! You actually have a point there AG!^
~::pouting:: Marco, that's so cruel. ::Scowling:: Save it for the MiST!~
(Tobias goes to his pocket, but then changes his mind and clicks the keyboard)
~No, he didn't change his mind, he has no money left.~
^::as Tobias:: Damn! I ran out of money that was supposed to be for that hooker my uncle wanted. Oh well^
Computer- Mission failed.
~::in a monotone:: I am a Heero Yuy Wanna be.~
^HA! Foolish boy! See, I would have just asked Jake for money.^
Kid- Don't you want to see what's next?
Tobias- Later.
~There will never be a later, young padawan! ~
^You'll never go back there again! Hahahahahahaa!^
(He gets up and walks out, bumping into Rachel and Cassie)
^No, he only bumped into Rachel.^
~Which caused her the drag him into a nearby closet and make out with him.~
Rachel(to Tobias)- Oh, hi.
~Rachel, what obvious brown roots you have!~
^Rachels eyes are brown. Arent they supposed to be blue?^
(Tobias leaves. The girls make their way towards the guys)
Rachel- Hey guys.
Jake- Where have you been?
^You were supposed to meet me in the closet so we could make out.^
Marco- One word. Sale.
~::Shrugs:: Can't diss that one, it's most likely true.~
^Book Rachel was ever the shop-aholic, wasn't she?^ (Marco and Jake laugh)
Rachel- Excuse me, but I am captain of the gymnastics team. We had a meet.
~::Scowls:: Gymnastics teams HAVE NO CAPTIAN! And a gymnastics meet is when teams go up against other teams in compitions!::grumbles::~
^Therefore what you were really doing was SHOPPING! ADMIT IT!^
(Jake and Marco return to their game)
Rachel- So what have you been doing, Galactic Warrior?
Marco- Shh, shh.
(The computer starts talking, but slows and falters. The game breaks up and fuzzes as if there were interferance. Homer starts barking)
~::As the Computer:: I just relized what bad actors you are, youre not allowed to play anymore.~
^::Sighs:: I could have done better.^
Marco- Hey! Whats going on? That's not fair,
Jake- You just got blown away.
^Whoa, I got blown?^
~::Slaps him upside the head:: NOT THAT KIND OF BLOWN! Get that sick mind of yours out of the gutter.~
Marco- Eh heh,
(Homer barks again then runs off)
Jake- Homer! No! Homer! Homer!
(They all run out except for Marco)
Marco- Jake! We already payed for another twenty minutes!
^So use it up nimrod.^
~Marco got dissed, BY HIMSELF!~
(Marco makes a face then runs after them. They chase Homer towards the site)
Jake- Come on boy, let's go!
^He is going, away from you, but at least he's going somewhere!^
~He's running from their bad acting.~
Marco- Looks like those obediance classes are paying off.
^Now that's a me comment, almost.^
Cassie- What's up with him anyway?
Jake- I don't know. But we have to get him back.
^You do to know what's up with him. LIAR!^
~You forgot to get him nutered so he's off to find his Boston Terrier lover.~
(The camera again toggles ~There it is again!~ ^What?^ ~TOGGLES!~ between the others chasing Homer closer to the site and Tobias walking towards the site)
Jake- Homer! Where you going?
~Yes Jake, the dog is going to answer back~
Rachel- Homer!
Jake- Homer come here!
Marco- Homer!
Jake- Homer stop! This isnt funny!
^Yes it is. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!^
(Homer squeezes through a half opened gate. Tobias, on another end of the site I guess, goes through a gate)
Rachel- What's over there? Homer?
Marco- This place creeps me out,
^Wait, it's supposed to be a construcction site, not a plant of some sort.^
Cassie- Hey guys, it's getting late.
~And we care because?~
(The kids sneak in the same way as Homer did)
^They dug underneath the gate??^
~No way, they snuck in the Tobias way! ~
Rachel- We looked everywhere, he's not here.
~You just got there dorkus, you haven't looked everywhere yet.~
^Dorkus?? ^
Jake- We've got to find him. Come on Homer! Come on!
(They all spilt up, calling and whistling. Jake spots Marco and Cassie)
Jake- Do you see him?
Cassie- No.
Marco- Nada, man. Yo, Homer!
~Presenting the correct way to call a dog. YO!~
^I think I made it very clear in book number 20 that I do not use the word 'yo' at all. I am not a 'yo' person. That time was the only exception.^
Rachel- Hey! He's over here!
(They find Tobias standing with Homer sitting next to him)
Cassie- He seems okay now.
Jake- Hey, thanks.
Tobias- Sure.
Jake- Come here Homer. Come on, good boy,
~::singing:: Come on over, come on over baby!~
Rachel(walking to Tobias)- You're new around here, right?
^Yeah I am, but I'm in most of your classes and you said 'hi' to me, not to mention we spoke the first day I WENT TO YOUR SCHOOL!!!^
Tobias(pointing)- Look.
~It's your brain, Brooke.~
^Floating out in space? I'm not surprised.^
(They all turn to see a UFO coming towards them)
Cassie- Whoa,
Jake- Look at that,
^Cute girl! ::TV Marco, TV Jake and TV Tobias go after her, ignoring the UFO::^
Rachel- Too weird.
~That you are Brooke.~
(They see it crash. They run to it and find it. Jake steps forward)
Jake- Let's go.
Marco(holding Jake back)- Whoa, wait. I don't think so.
Cassie- What if someone's hurt?
Rachel- She's right. I'm in.
Marco- Huh? You're insane.
^FINIALLY! A direct 'me' quote! ^
(They all walk off. Marco makes another face)
Marco-Oh man. Wait up!
(They run closer to the ship. A strong wind blows. The door of the ship opens, bathing the five in light. Homer barks as a creature comes out, they hear its hooves walking down the plank)
^Ohhh, the light. ^
Jake- There's something coming out.
^Duh.^
~No, there's nothing coming out. You're all insane an this is just a hallucination.~
Marco- Uh huh. This is the part where we hide amigo.
^SINCE WHEN DO I USE SPANISH ON A REGULAR BASIS?! I ONLY KNOW 50 DAMN WORDS!^
(They hide behind a bunch of junk, they stare at the creature who is still walking)
~Hey, I can still see them. They didn't hide very well in my humble opinion.~
Rachel- What is it?
Marco- I, I dont know but its definately not from my hood.
~Now youre a Ghetto Peuto Rican Marco?~
^NOOO! SPARE ME!^
(They watch the creature collapse, obviously hurt. Cassie jumps up, the others pull her down.)
~The Creature looks like a demented furby.~
^You mean it isn't?^
Marco- What are you doing?
Cassie- It looks like it's hurt.
Marco- Yeah, so?
Rachel- So we have to help it.
^Who's we? ^
Marco- What if it's, like, radioactive or something?
Rachel- Oh, please.
~We all know Brooke's radioactive~
(They all slowly start walking towards the Andalite. Homer barks)
Jake- Stay.
Marco- Oh, sure, the dog gets to stay.
^Yes, you have to save the best actor you know.^
Rachel- Maybe we should try talking to it.
Marco- Yeah. Just let me get out my Alien-English dictionary.
^::Pulls one out:: Marco no baka. ^
~::Grabs it:: Thats a Japanese English Dictionary, BAKA! ~
^Then what did I just say? ^
~Roughly Translated? Marco you idiot.~
Elfangor- *Do not be afraid. I mean you no harm.*
(They look around, confused)
Jake- Where did that come from?
Marco- I heard it, but I didn't hear it.
~I love it when they contradict themselves.~
Tobias- I heard it. In my head.
~^::Both singing:: I hear the voices in my head I swear to God it sounds like they're snoring..... ^~
Rachel- We all heard it.
Elfangor- *I am speaking to you in thoughts.*
~REALLY? COOL!~
(He makes a pained sound. Cassie steps forward)
Cassie- You're hurt. We can help you.
~::As TV Marco:: We? Who's 'we'? YOU can help it, yeah, WE can't.~
^Almost like me, not quite, Christina.^
Elfangor- *I am Elfangor of the Andalite World. Ive come-*
~To suck you brains out through your nose with a straw.~
^You can't, they have no brains.^
(He moans slightly, in tremendous pain)
~How can you moan slightly and be in tremendous pain at the same time?~
^That's an oxymoron isn't it?^
Cassie- Jake give me your shirt. He's wounded.
~STRIP TEASE! STRIP TEASE!~
^::As TV Jake:: Cassie! Not here, the others are here!^
(Jake takes off his jacket and hands it to Cassie. She presses it to Elfangors wound)
Elfangor- *There's nothing you can do for me.*
^Yes there is. SOMEONE GET A CAMERA!^
Rachel- It's going to be okay. Cassie knows a lot about animals.
~They're assuming a cross between a Dr. Suess puppet and a demented Furby on crack is an animal. ~
^They're assuming a bit much aren't they?^
Marco- Way to insult the guy Rach,
Elfangor- *The wound is fatal. I will die. But there will be others.*
^Others? THERES MORE EPISODES?!?!^
Jake- Others?
Elfangor- *Unlike me, they have come to destroy you. There is no time for fear. You must help your world. But you must protect yourselves from the Yeerks.*
~^::shrug::^~ ^Let them take over, we don't care.^
~Really. ~
Marco- The whats?
Elfangor- *The Yeerks. They are-*(He raises a hand up. ~^::Imitating Diana Ross and the Supremes:: Stop! In the Name on love! Before you break my heart!^~ He sends them a vision of what he explains) *The Yeerks are parasites. They must have a host to live in. On Earth, their hosts are humans. They enter your brain and take over your thoughts and feelings. These hosts are called Controllers. They can be anyone. Your family. Your friends. Earth is their next target.*
^::dull voice::We're doomed.^
~Now now, none of that. I wanna hear you up beat!~
^::Up beat kind of voice:: Were doomed!^
Marco- Wait a sec, you're telling my that some slimy, alien slug can crawl into our brains and take over our minds?
^What minds?^
Rachel- And control us?
~Yes. HA! April Fools! You humans are so easy!~
Elfangor- *Yes. There is no time for questions. I must do what I can for you. I have no choice. I can give you a way to fight the Yeerks.*
(Elfangor holds up a glowing cube)
^Wasn't Jake supposed to go inside the ship to get that?^
~He pulled it out of Spandexdom!~
^NO GUNDAM WING REFERALS!^
Elfangor- *Each of you must touch one side of the cube.*
Marco- I'm not touching that.
^Screw saving the world. I'm going home!^
Elfangor- *If you don't, then everything you love will be destroyed. Your brothers,*
~GOOD! LET THEM ALL DIE! They mean nothing to me!~
(Marco looks up at Jake)
Elfangor- *Your sisters,*
(A shot of Rachel)
Elfangor- *Your parents.*
(Close up of Tobias)
~He doesnt have any, why should he care? ~
Jake- Rachel, I don't know.
Rachel- You heard him. We have no choice.
Marco- Man this is insane!
~YAY! ~
^Another me quote!^
(Jake reaches forward and touches the cube. It glows a redish color. Then Rachel, Cassie, Marco touch the cube. Tobias is standing a step away from them)
Elfangor- *This gift is for you too, Tobias.*
Tobias- How do you know my name?
~::Darth Vader voice:: Tobias I am your father.~
^::As Tobias:: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!^
Elfangor- *Hurry.*
(Tobias reaches forward and touches the cube. The wind blows strong, Homer barks)
~YEAH! Homer wants the power too you know! ~
Marco- Now what?
^You get lots of Spandex and give yourselves super cheesy names.^
Jake- Something's wrong.
(All of a sudden they pull their hands away with a gasp)
Elfangor- *It is done. The power to change is in your flesh.*
Jake- Change? What kind of change?
Elfangor- *You need only to touch a creature to aquire its DNA pattern and change your form.*
~In English please! We're not all in Science Regents! ~
^But you ARE in science regents. ^
~But other people aren't. ~
Rachel- Change our form?
~NO! Change your clothes!~
^The ablity to change clothing in two seconds! It's gonna be a hit in gym class.^
Cassie- You mean we can change into animals?
^Oh Cassie. Ever the swift one aren't you?^
~::Holds up a sign:: "Down with Animal Fur Coats! There are more humans out there."~
^::looks sick:: You scare me sometimes ^
Elfangor- *Exactly. You can become any animal you touch and aquire. But remember, when you change you must return to your human form in two Earth hours.*
Tobias- Why? What happens after two hours?
Elfangor- *You'll be trapped in an animal form forever.*
^::Scary Music:: ^
(The ground shakes as another spacecraft lands)
Jake- What's going on?
^The Yeerkish are comeing! The Yeerkish are coming!^
~::Winces:: BAD joke Marco. Not one of your best.~
(Marco also says something, but I can't hear it)
^AHH! Its an anime dub! AHHH!^
Rachel- What's happening?
Elfangor- *Visser Three is here!*
~::Twirls noise makers and boos::~
Marco- What's a Visser Three?
~::Twirls Noisemarkers and boos::~
Elfangor- *You must go! Go!*
(Rachel and Cassie try to help him up)
Elfangor- *Your lives are more important than mine, now go! Go!*
^LIAR! No they aren't!^
~Why don't they just aquire Elfangor THEN run?~
(He sees Tobias)
Elfangor- *Tobias!*
(Tobias stops and looks back.)
Elfangor- *Guard this Tobias! With your heart and your soul!*
(Elfangor throws a disk towards him, but Tobias misses. Rachel pulls his arm)
~WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THAT?!!?!~
^I know! There's no disk in the books!^
~NO! I mean with Rachel pulling on him like that!~
Rachel- Tobias come on!
Tobias- But I have to get it!
^No you dont, its just the latest Matalica CD. No Biggie.^
(The five hide again. ~Poorly I might add, again.~ Out of the other ship another Andalite steps out)
Jake- It's another one.
~^DUH!^~
Cassie- No, this one's different.
Marco- I'm guessing that's Visser Three.
~::Twirls noise-makers and boos::~
^No, that's Superman.^
~REALLY?!~
(Visser Three stands over Elfangor. He doesn't notice the kids)
~HOW CAN HE NOT NOTICE THEM?!?!! ~
Visser Three- *Prince Elfangor, what an honor it is to be in the presence of a legend.*
(Visser Three laughs, Elfangor looks up but can't stand)
Visser Three- *You've managed to shred quite a few of our fighters.*
Elfangor- *Visser Three.*
~::Twirls Noisemakers and boos::~
^Yes, we cleared that up a while ago. ::Glares at AG:: ENOUGH WITH THAT JOKE! No one except another Jewish person thats heard that Jewish story in synogouge, or however its spelled, would get that joke!^
~I know, but it's so much fun!~
Visser Three- *Yes, I have taken one of your Andalite bodies as my host. Your Andalite morphing technology has been some very useful to me.*
~::As Elfangor, drinking tea:: We don't care, youre STILL pathetic, hiding behind morphs to fight your battles. ::stop being Elfangor:: YOU WEAKLING! INJUSTICE!~
^What did I say about the Gundam Wing referals, Christina!^
Elfangor- *No matter how many bodies you steal, you will not win this war. We will fight.*
^That doesn't mean you'll win, dude.^
Visser Three- *You and your Andalite army are fighting on too many fronts. Your forces are spread too thin. This world will soon be ours.*
Elfangor- *Why Earth? Why these people?*
Visser Three- *Because there are so many. And they are so weak.
~Not to mention stupid!~
^You're dissing out the human race you know. ^
~For the sake of the joke, Marco, for the sake of the joke. ~
Visser Three-*Our army will be a billion strong. And then I promise you one thing Elfangor. I will return to your world and personally oversee the infestation of your entire family.*
^YAY! Infest them all!^
~PARTY!~
(Visser Three begins to morph into a huge creature)
Visser Three- *I hope they resist so that I can hear their minds scream.*
^He's sadistic! INSANE!^
~HE'S JUST LIKE ME! ~
(Visser Three laughs, then roars in his morph. Then he picks up Elfangor. The kids cringe and look away, all you can see is the shadow of the creature eating Elganfor)
~Tastes like...~
^If you say chicken, you're dead.^
~Swordfish. It could use some salt.~
^NOW YOU'RE QUOTING JAKE?!^
Rachel- No!
Controller #1- Hey! You there!
(Flashlights are pointed at the five)
^What? They aren't worthy of searchlights? ^
~::As Rachel:: This spotlight's not big enough for the five of us! ~
Jake- We gotta get out of here! Come on!
~Run, Jake. Run. ~
^Okay Obi-Wan. ^
Marco- Come on, let's go!
Rachel- They've seen us!
~REALLY? It's your fault they saw you! ~
Jake- Run!
Controller #1- Over there!
(Human Controllers look around where the kids were hiding)
Controller #2- Tell Visser Three that we have a problem. Release the Hork-Bajir.
~Release the hounds!~
^::Blinks:: He sounds like a Russian Nazi communist.^
~So Indiana Jones.~
(The kids run)
~And they're off! Cassie's in the lead, followed closely by Jake. Marco's in thrid and..What's this? Tobias and Rachel are making out in the middle of the track!~
Jake- Come on Homer, come on let's go!
(Cassie screams as she trips and her foot is tangled in wires. ~HA HA!~ ^Klutz^ Rachel and Tobias quickly try to get her free. Marco and Jake spot a Hork-Bajir)
Marco- What is that?
Jake- Want to hang around to find out?
Marco- No thanks. I'll read the book.
~My Life as a Hork-Bajir Controller, By Ali En.~
^Good one.^
Tobias- Cassie's stuck!
~And another one states the obvious~
(Marco runs to them and tries helping. Jake runs and waves his arms)
Jake- Hey! Hey! Over here! Hey stupid, over here!
^::As Hork-Bajir in snotty English voice:: Who are you callig stupid homo-sapian! I have a docterette in psycology, physialogy and in human chemistry.^
~::Blinks:: Whoa. ~
Rachel- Jake no!
~That's right, give away his identity!~
^Yeah, You still havent screwed her yet!^
~EWW! INSEST! ~
Jake- Come on! I'm right here! Come on! Let's go!
^MOM! Jake's hitting on the Hork-Bajir again! ^
(Jake start running, the Hork-Bajir runs after him. They go away from the others. Human Controllers follow them as well, yelling. The Hork-Bajir slashes at Jake, ripping his shirt. Jake crawls into a pipe, the other side is blocked.)
~Wonderful Jake. What's next? Turning into a pimp and making Cassie your hooker?~
^WHAT THE HELL! It walks like a drunk, has funky-lookin vision! WHAT'S NEXT?! ^
Jake- Great.
~We now cut to a Commercial.~
^Ha ha! You're screwed!^
(Outside, he sees a shadow. It's Homer)
Jake- Homer! Homer, come here boy. Come here, come on. Homer it's you, come here.
~I thought Homer was a girl! ~
(Outside the pipe)
Chapman- Keep looking! They have to be somewhere.
^::scary music:: We aren't supposed to know it's Chapman yet, dummy.^
Controller #2- We lost them in the woods.
Chapman- Then go after them! You! One of them is still here. Track him down or answer to Visser Three.
Controller #3- Right.
(The Controller runs off)
Chapman- The incompetence.
~HEY! He stole my word! ~
^Your word is 'Insolence'. ^
~THATS NOT THE POINT! ~
(Jake sees a pair of boots standing outside. One reaches up to scratch the other leg then walks away. ~There's also a glint of shiny metal, belonging to Chapmans Wing tip shoes.~ Then Hork-Bajir feet walk by)
Jake- I need your help Homer.
~No you don't! You need a head doctor kid, not mine.~
(Jake pets Homer, aquires him then morphs into Homer. Outside, Controllers walk to Chapman)
^HEY! He morphed his clothes!^
Controller #3- The footprints lead to that pipe.
Chapman- Come on out of there son!
~How do they know it's a boy?~
(Jake and Homer run out. Jake grabs a flashlight from a Controller.)
Controller #3- Hey! Get back here!
Visser Three- *Did you find them?*
Chapman- No sir. Just a couple of dogs.
^Dogs that are smart enough to grab a flashlight from you? Really Chapman, I thought they don't infest the slow-witted.^
Visser Three- *Get those dogs you fool! They might be Andalites!*
(Two Homers are seen running through the woods. One carries a flashlight. The next day at school, Cassie, Rachel and Marco sit at a table together.)
Cassie- Last night when I got home, I called Jake. He didn't answer.
~Yeah, Tom answered. He said Jake left talking about a strip bar. ~
Rachel- He's smart. Hell show up.
^Jake? Smart? In the same sentance? Not in this TV show.^
(Tobias walks in. Rachel stands and raises her hand)
~Yes Rachel?~
^Teacher, Jake's hitting me again! ^
Rachel- Hey Tobias!
^::Screams:: NOT TOBIAS!^
~ANYONE BUT HIM!~
(Marco nods to him. Tobias waves then sits next to Marco)
Marco- You know, the funniest thing happened to me last night. Some blue dude with four legs put me and a few other idiots to try to save the world.
^At least he got the idiots part right. But the saving the world part was optional.^
Rachel- Quiet. Do you want someone to hear you?
~Oh, so you only want Marco to talk dirty to YOU huh? ~
^::Grins:: Only the book Rachel I'd do that for.^
Cassie- What if that thing got him?
(Jake walks over and puts his luch tray down, making the others jump)
Jake- It didn't. Listen,
~NOOO! You're still alive?! DAMN IT ALL TO HELL! ~
(The others gather closer, Jake whispers)
Jake- I did it. I mean, it works. I became Homer last night. That's how I got away.
^::As TV Marco:: You did it? With Cassie? Dude! You scored before me man!^
Marco- You serious?
Jake- It was so bizzare. I was trapped. I had no other choice and I remembered what the alien said. So I put my hand on Homer and just started concentrating. All of a sudden, I started mutating. I could hear my bones crunching and twisting.
^::Looks sick:: Oh man.^
Marco- Oh man,
~AHH! You predicted what he'd say! ~
Jake- I watched my hand become a paw. I became my dog.
Rachel- You were Homer?
~^ Doh! ^~
Jake- Well, actually a copy. I mean, Homer was there too.
Marco- Did it hurt?
^::As TV Jake:: It hurt like HELL man! Dont the Andalites have Novicain or something?! ^
Jake- No, not really. I mean, it's hard to explain. At first I didnt know what I was. I, I mean I could hear everything. And the smells!
(Jake notices the others are looking at him skeptically)
Jake- You don't believe me, do you?
~Of course we do. BRING IN THE STRIGHT JACKET MARV! ~
Marco- No, no, we do, really. We just, it's just, it's just too weird. Beyond too weird.
^Why are they talking about it in public? They cant be THAT stupid, can they?^
~They are that stupid. ~
Rachel- Way beyond.
Jake- But I swear, it's true. I mean, I keep on thinking Im going to wake up and this is all going to be a dream. But its not. What we saw last night was real. It happened. Right? It happened.
(The others don't answer for a minute)
Marco- So now what? Save the world? Can we eat first?
~::laughs, then stops:: No.~
Rachel- Stop kidding. What do we do? Where do we start?
Marco- How about that blue dude? You know, the nice one?
Tobias- Elfangor.
Jake- Yeah. He tried to give you something.
Rachel- What was it?
Tobias- It looked like some kind of a disk or something. It's gotta be important. He said that I should guard it with my heart and my soul.
Rachel- He knew your name. How come?
~::As TV Tobias:: Cause hes my father. Every father knows their son's name right? ~
^Uhh. no?^
Tobias- Like I know. I mean, he's probably telepathic or something.
Cassie- But that disk. It's gotta be able to help us somehow.
Jake- We have to get it back.
~You never had it in the first place dorkus. ~
^Again with the 'dorkus' thing.^
Marco- Are you kidding me?
Jake- Shh!
Marco- They practically got us on the FBI's ten most wanted list. Did you hear the news?
^News? You mean that we were in the news? COOL!^
Jake- Yeah, they're looking for some kids who were setting off fireworks.
Rachel- Fireworks? Huh, that's a laugh.
~::crickets chirp:: No one's laughing. ~
^Hey, at least theyre TRYING to stick with the story line.^
Cassie- Then theyre lying. Maybe they got Yeerks in their heads.
Marco- That means the Yeerks could be anyone.
(A kid trips and lands by their table. They jump. Someone helps the kid up and they walk away)
^You mean like that kid?^
~Nah, hes just stoned. ~
Rachel- If they saw our faces, they would have caught us by now.
(A couple of kids start fighting, but stop as Chapman walks by)
Jake- We can't talk here. Anyone can be one of them.
Cassie- A Controller.
^REALLY?! I couldn't tell.^
(They look around the cafeteria. Chapman stops by the monitor)
Chapman- Is anyone going to reign in this chaos or do I have to do everything myself?
~::As Monitor:: Dude, I'm reading. YOU can control the little twits, I'm out of here. ~
Monitor- I'm sorry Mr. Chapman.
(She gets up and walks quickly away)
Chapman- The incompetence.
(Jake notices Chapman lift one boot to scratch his leg, then realizes it was him at the site)
Jake- Come here,
(The others gather close to Jake. He whispers again)
Jake- From now on we just talk to each other. Trust no one. Principal Chapman is a Controller.
^PRINCIPAL?!! When did CHAPMAN BECOME A FRICKIN PRINCIPAL?!^
(They all sit back, the others seem shocked. Jake's voice over again)
Jake Voice Over- Five of us against an army of alien slugs. And anyone can be one of them.
^Of course you can forget about all the 25 someodd Yeerks in the Peace Movement.^
