"Anything else. Literally, Bon-Bon. Anything. Let's adopt puppies instead. Those cute things with the squash faces and curly tails."

"Nope." Bonnie reclined back into the sofa cushions sipping red wine.

"Kittens then. Black ones, they can sit on your broomstick as you soar over Mystic Falls. You can name one Salem!"

Damon paused from rummaging through Bonnie and Enzo's kitchen cupboards to gauge Bonnie's reaction. She shook her head. He sighed, abandoning that particular cupboard, leaving the door swinging open and explored the cupboards below the sink.

"What exactly are you looking for? In my kitchen?" Bonnie fiddled with the settings on the television.

"Bourbon. Lots of it. I'm almost out.", Damon retorted, fishing his flask from a jeans pocket and giving it a shake in demonstration.

"We don't drink bourbon.", Bonnie informed him. "We drink wine."

"That's a ridiculous thing to say."

Bonnie shrugged. "Deal with it. You're not getting out of this. You promised."

"I didn't know what I was promising!" Damon huffed, slamming the cupboard door. Glass rattled, and Damon tackled a cupboard above the stove. Inside sat an unopened bottle of scotch and half a bottle of vodka.
"There you are," Damon told the bottles, snatching them up. He gulped down several mouthfuls of the scotch, not bothering with a glass.

"Seriously, Damon, not everything needs to be so dramatic. You've literally been to Hell...", Bonnie rolled her eyes at his theatrics.

He swallowed. "Yeah, exactly. Which should be an indication of how much worse this is!" Damon stalked through the room. "And Enzo cheaped out on the scotch. The universe is punishing me for my sins." Damon reconsidered.
"How's about we hire some strippers, make this night fun?", he said, waggling his eyebrows.

"I don't really need boobs jiggling in my face, thanks though.", Bonnie deadpanned.

"Boy strippers!", Damon emphasised. "Or I could just compel that shelf stacker from the grocery store to come over. You like him, he can do a dance for you."

"What?!', Bonnie squeaked. "I do not like him! We just have a shared interest in green tea!"

Damon smirked knowingly. "He is really dreamy though, right?"

"I can hurt you, you know."

"With your mind, yes, been there, done that, sent you postcards," Damon continued grinning, "It's just interesting that your heart rate increased when you spoke to green tea-loving grocery store guy. And again right now. That is weird, right?" He winked at her.

Bonnie blushed a little and tossed a cushion in Damon's general direction. "Shut up. Stop using your vamp powers for evil. I love Enzo, asshole."

"Then why isn't he here, being tortured?!" Damon gestured around the cabin.

"He's busy, but sends you his love," Bonnie stonefaced, fishing the remote control out from between the sofa cushions. "Sit down and stop sulking. You were a jerk, as usual, and you promised me anything to make it up to me. This is what I want."

Damon huffed dramatically, flopping onto the couch next to Bonnie. He scratched mindlessly at his newly grown facial hair. Not quite a beard but a bit more than stubble. Girls found that look hot, he'd discovered, and with Elena gone for another 70 years casual dating was where he was at. Sipping at his scotch, Damon narrowed his eyes at Bonnie and her scheming. She was using the fact they were best friends against him, she knew exactly what would make him most miserable, she was awful, and he would get his reven-,

"Oooooh, Pop-Tarts!", Damon interrupted his own inner seething as he scanned the coffee table in front of him. He reached for a strawberry flavoured one and Bonnie slapped his hand away. Damon scowled at her.

"Not yet!", she said.

Damon took note of the extensive food spread that lay before them. The table was also crammed with pizza, Chinese food and burgers.

"Uhh. Bonster. Exactly how many people did you invite to this horror show shindig?", Damon inquired, eyeing the Pop-Tarts.

"Just you and me,", Bonnie grinned, still sipping her wine. "Ready?"

Damon rolled his eyes slowly and emphatically, draping an arm around Bonnie's shoulders. Moaning pitifully, he asked, "Is this even going to make sense if I haven't seen the show?"

"Nope!", Bonnie exclaimed cheerfully.

"You do know I've saved your life. More than once! At the expense of my soulmate resting in her coffin.", Damon reminded her.

"And you're such a gentleman that you don't ever remind me of that fact ad nauseum. Just like I never remind you that you've tried to kill me. More than once. Almost at the expense of me living.", Bonnie retorted helpfully.

"Why can't you do this with Caroline?", Damon complained around a slice of pizza he'd snatched off the table. "Blondie loves this crap."

"She watched it the day it came out, all in one night. I couldn't, I hadn't finished season 7 yet. But I have, now, and am ready and excited. Aren't you excited, Damon?"

He narrowed his eyes at her, his voice dangerously low and gravelly. "Fine. Let's get this over with then, Bon", Damon enunciated. "Who exactly am I 'shipping' and will you need a bib to contend with the drool?"

"Shush, you", dimissed Bonnie, as she fired up Netflix. "Jess is worthy of swooning over. He's the perfect boyfriend for Rory, and I've been waiting almost ten years for their relationship to be consummated."

Damon raised his eyebrows at her. "Bonnie Bennett, ever the romantic. Is he the flowers and chocolates type then?"

"No, he's the leather-clad bad boy, actually.", Bonnie replied.

"Heh. The bad boy in a PG-rated soap? What does he do, forget to buy tickets to the Prom?"

"No! He didn't forget, he'd flunked out of school and wasn't allowed to attend!", Bonnie said quickly, defensively.

Both chuckled at that and as Bonnie pressed play on the Gilmore Girls revival, she and Damon both tucked into the food in front of them with gusto.

Six hours later, Bonnie dozed lightly in a daze of wine, food and joy. She awoke with a start at the sound of Damon's voice. He was standing now, gesturing wildly at the television that was now playing the Gilmore Girls theme song.

"Rory, you blind whorish idiot, can't you see how much Jess adores you?! He's a fucking Yoda and she cares about that rich married dickhead. All the booksmarts in the world can't save her, she's a hopeless case!"

Bonnie cocked an eyebrow at him.

"I don't know what he sees in her, honestly", Damon continued ranting. "Does she have a vagina made of-"

"They never had sex", Bonnie interrupted.

"But she slept with the tall married guy with 4 kids instead? What a moron. This girl deserves to be alone and single living in a creepy cabin in the woods!", he exclaimed.

"Hey! I love this cabin. Not single, have an Enzo."

"Ugh. Nobody wants an Enzo. Better off single, honestly.', Damon joked, and was rewarded with a backhanded slap to the thigh.

"So", Bonnie began, "Engrossed, huh? When are we going to watch the original series together?"

Damon gathered up his leather jacket. "Nope. Not happening, not ever. I fulfilled my promise. I am done. Have a nice life."

Bonnie smiled at him demurely from her place on the sofa. "So, next Tuesday then?"

Damon relented without hesitation. "It's a date." He waved goodbye and as he strode out the door he called out, "There better be Pop-Tarts."

Once outside, he took a few steps in the direction of his car before he stopped and made his way to the cabin window. In the darkness she wouldn't be able to see him, but the inside of the cabin was illuminated with fairy lights and he could see her.

Bonnie looked beautiful; happy and serene.

Damon lingered there just a little too long.