Forgotten Memoirs

...

When he beats his bars and he would be free; it is not a carol of joy or glee, but a prayer he sends from his heart's deep core, but a plea, that upward to Heaven he flings-

I know why the caged bird sings!

[1]

Neji was one frightening man, he could say that much. While the Hyuuga was shorter and most definitely not bulkier than he, Chouji understood he had little to no chance against the Byakugan-wielding genius. After all, Neji was called a genius.

Still, despite his fear of the straitlaced man and his seemingly apathetic manner towards everything, Neji was a precious nakama. And because he was, Chouji wanted to abet him in his time of need- even though the Hyuuga didn't really need it and would probably end up saving Chouji instead. However, the offer still stood - unspoken and unneeded.

Until that moment.

Hyuuga Neji, known for his cold demeanor and intimidating expression, ran to his own demise for the sake of nakama. Even Chouji knew, at that point, there was no saving Hyuuga Neji. There was no saving the man who taught him humility. Chouji despaired because he could never show Neji how much his nakama meant to him, and he could never make up for the times he had never gotten to know him better.

Chouji promised himself, clenching his fists until his coarse knuckles paled, he would never lose another precious nakama without going first.

[2]

To be honest, Shikamaru never really knew Neji. He had his own team, and Neji had his; there was really no need for talk when they didn't need it. The few times they did talk included missions that needed both their expertise and even then, meaningless chatter wasn't for either of them.

That didn't mean they didn't understand each other, though. They say men have a way of talking without actually using their lips. Both brunettes acknowledged that, using raised eyebrows and narrowing eyes to convey their feelings. It was something they had; it was nothing like the endless chatter between Ino and Sakura, or the bickering between Naruto and Sasuke. It was special because it was silent and concise.

Likewise, they both knew the dirty undersides of clan politics, and although Neji would never have become a clan head like he, Shikamaru knew Neji understood his unforeseen woes. Men like them- their future was all planned, laid out on a silver platter whether they wanted it or not. Shikamaru never fought it, and Neji never fought it, despite how unwilling he seemed. Shikamaru thought he and Neji would always be in the same position- going with the rushing wave that carried them for long days and nights. But for once, Shikamaru had thought wrong. Neji had chosen his own future, no matter the consequences that lay before him.

And Shikamaru briefly wondered if he could fight against the billowing seas too.

[3]

Shino was easily disregarded; he knew that. After all, he was the only one uninvited (besides Lee, but even he was able to join them shortly afterwards) along the Sasuke Retrieval Mission. However, this trait of his had allowed him to make many correct inferences regarding the personalities and skill levels of many.

When he first laid eyes on the Hyuuga, he knew that his physical and mental prowess was incomparable. Neji, as Shino would later learn, was proclaimed a once-in-a-century prodigy by both the Hyuuga branch and main house members, which was quite the accomplishment since branch members were always considered quite poor in comparison to the politically powerful main house members.

Even two years later, Neji had always exceeded expectations. He was on the verge of becoming an ANBU and rumors roamed Konoha or his succession to the Hyuuga clan, despite the fact he was a branch member. It seemed success followed Neji wherever he went. Ironic to his lowly birthright, it seemed Neji was destined for triumph rather than failure.

And while he was never close to Neji, he felt for him as his bright future fell apart. However, it seemed the Hyuuga genius had chosen his fate and while Shino was a sympathizer, he could feel no pity for a man with the freedom to choose.

He thought that is what Neji would have wanted anyways.

[4]

She actually couldn't recall a moment when she interacted with Neji properly. Sure, they had barbeques together, but then again, they were barbeques as a group. Ino could've been paying attention to him, but she had other matters to attend to- such as keeping Chouji from hogging all the meat and forcing Shikamaru to eat. Neji was busy too, as he had the ever-youthful Lee on his team.

Ino twitched, because she knew they were all excuses. They remained excuses because she knew she could have gotten to know him before his passing and she knew she could have spent more time with her father before his. He had done so much for her, but she was so engulfed by the latest things, so obsessed with frivolities, that she wasn't able to love the people she knew properly. And while Ino was quite the carefree butterfly (easy to do and easy to forget), the consequences of her choices suddenly poured on her like rain, weighing down her elegant wings.

Still, she didn't have time to recover from her loss. Either way, she'd have to face her hopeful mother with news that would leave her utterly heartbroken- just like she had to remember Konoha Eleven was just Konoha Ten now.

Ino idly wondered if time could turn back so she wouldn't have to make so many excuses.

[5]

Kiba was, in all aspects, a dog. Not like he'd admit it aloud, or agree to any statement similar to it, but he was part of the Inuzuka clan, which was most closely affiliated with dogs, after all.

Dogs were fiercely loyal, aggressive, and most of all, incredibly headstrong. Kiba was all three and more. He was proud of himself and prouder of his friends. Without his friends, he knew he would not be the man he was today.

Although Neji was never a huge part of his life, Neji was still Kiba's friend. And Kiba was loyal to his friends first and foremost.

So when he witnessed the ten-tails' spears pierce through Neji's pliable body, anger pierced through his. Kiba couldn't fathom that one so close to him could have perished so soon. All of him was shaking in fury, itching to battle the man who dared to lay a hand on his friend. He was about to go, too. He was going to die another sacrifice for a war bred by hate.

But he couldn't.

He tilted his head towards the sky, and quieted the rage that blazed inside him. It was such a Naruto thing, he offhandedly thought, assuring Akamaru's concerned whimpers. How could he accuse a hateful man of bad things when he was full of hate himself?

Even though Neji's gruesome death ached his heart, Kiba knew that if he died avenging Neji, he would die for hatred.

And if anything, Kiba would rather die with good intentions in his heart than to die with hatred.

[6]

Sakura had seen Neji at his worst. Everyone in Konoha had. Neji had droned on and on about the rules and regulations of fate and predestination, but no one dared to refute him because of his uncanny strength. Everyone, but Naruto.

Naruto wanted to be Hokage while he was still hated in his village. He couldn't afford to believe in locked paths if he pursued his dream. No one saw that but Naruto. Still, Naruto made Neji see that there were so many possibilities, so many roads to walk. Neji relinquished destiny, and accepted hope with open arms.

Then, Sakura had seen Neji at his best, exceeding expectations and showing a friendlier exterior than the last. Sakura had truly believed that Neji could surpass most anyone; he completed missions with flying colors and Tsunade-sama, who never praised anyone openly, told Sakura that Neji was one to look out for.

So how could Hyuuga Neji, genius of the prestigious Hyuuga, fall? He was strong; he had a future. Sakura couldn't believe such a man could fall before her very eyes. And if Hyuuga Neji fell, couldn't Naruto as well?

Questions plagued Sakura's doubtful mind and she realized she had never felt so utterly hopeless in her life. Not when she was a genin, not when she watched Naruto turn into the Kyuubi- never.

But she looked to Naruto, and realized that if his friends didn't get back up on their feet, he wouldn't either. So she shed her insecurities to give Naruto his willpower. She couldn't be hopeless when there were so many people counting on the victory of this war.

Besides, she was practically raised the Godaime's daughter; she lived to make her village proud.

- Sympathy (Paul Lawrence Dumbar)

...

I may have been gone for a while. OKAYOKAY, a long while. Things have been sort of frantic and deafening and not really what they were supposed to be. I know that's no excuse, but it is what it is.

So as an (angsty) apology, I cranked out this twoshot (which the second installment will be on its way) because ijustreallyneedtogrieveforNeji. I know it happened like a hundred bazillion gazillion years ago, but it's something I needed to make things right. So here you go, and I hope you enjoi(: