AN: This is a sequel to my previous story, "Eavesdropper" but it can be read alone. Unlike its prequel, which was mostly romance, this is just plain humor. It's rated for language and implied sex between minors, Puck and Kurt. Enjoy.
Finn knew eavesdropping was a horrible, horrible thing.
The last time he had done it he found out something he shouldn't have. Something big. He learned that his ex best friend Noah Puckerman and his almost-step-brother Kurt Hummel were together. And not just "Oh, we are in the same room" together, but "Oh, we are kissing and being cute" together. And Puck had seen Finn standing there, known he knew, and hadn't really seemed to care. But Finn found out that the only reason for it was because Puck had already been planning on coming over to the house and eating dinner with the family as Kurt's official new boyfriend. They weren't out to the whole school (Kurt knew that would just bring more trouble than it was worth) but Puck legitimately seemed to think it'd be fine to come out to footballers, Cheerios, and the whole world.
Which Finn just didn't get.
Actually, Finn didn't get a lot. He didn't get why he was being forced to spend time with Puck more, even though he was still pissed about Baby Gate. He didn't get why Puck suddenly thought he was gay when he'd slept with plenty of girls in his life. He didn't get why Kurt wanted to be with a man whore like Puck. He didn't get why Puck was being lovey-dovey and why Kurt was being the one who wanted to hide their relationship. And most importantly, he didn't get why life hated him.
All he needed was aloe. At least, that's what he thought it was. That was the thing that helped with sunburns, right? Anyway, he was pretty sure that's what it was and he knew Kurt would have it. So, he jogged downstairs to Kurt's bathroom and stared at all the bottles, hoping to find aloe in one of them. And none of those things were particularly mean and he had never said anything to Kurt about Puck being a man whore or how he didn't like them together. So it couldn't have been karma doing this to him. It just had to be that life hated him.
Because when he heard people running down the stairs, it was only obvious to step out and tell them he was in there. And when he stepped out and saw Puck slam Kurt into the wall and kiss him, his hands.. Doing things, things that Finn didn't want to see, let alone think about, it was only obvious that Finn would go back into the bathroom so he didn't have to see it. But not seeing it didn't change the fact that he could still hear it and Finn didn't understand why that had to be true either.
There was a loud groan from the bedroom, followed by Kurt's voice. "Puck⦠Finn is upstairs..."
"So? That just means I can't make you scream like I did last night."
Last night? Finn furrowed his brow. Hadn't Kurt told his dad he would be studying with Mercedes? How often were those two lying together?
Finn could hear the breathlessness in Kurt's laugh. "Like you would even be able to. You just got lucky last night."
"Yeah, I'd say..."
Finn gagged as Kurt giggled and about tore his hair out as he heard the unmistakable sounds of them climbing onto the smaller boy's bed. What was he supposed to do? Tell them to stop? It was Kurt's room. Tell them to wait until he left? Kurt would be pissed Finn had heard what he had so far!
Puck's voice sounded a heck of a lot deeper than it ever had before. "Baby..."
"Yeah?"
"Where's the lube?"
"OH MY GOD!" Finn cried out, closed his eyes and ran from the bathroom, slamming into the railing once before dashing up the stairs in record time. And he sure as heck did not turn around when he heard Kurt's cry of "What the hell?" from below.
