Title: Something's Got Grissom's Goat

Disclaimer: CSI belongs to CBS and all that lot.

A/N: Okay this was written by one of my best mates who was trying to be my 'inspiration' as I wrote a GSR fic (Not myusual of fic but I had no choice, believe me) anyways after a bit of a nudge from her she endedup writing this...It's weird, funny, mad and basically just like my mate. Anywayz...enjoy and review...all reviews will be passed on and this is her first fic full stop so if Im to convince her to do more lot and lots of reviews ppl!


Sara turned to look at the door for the fiftieth time that evening – she was sat, alone, in the corner of a restaurant waiting for her date to turn up. This was the third time this week she'd been stood up, by her own boyfriend. Fed up with the pitying glances from the waiters and the glares of the rest of the diners, she left, trying not to attract too much attention to herself.

Naturally, she was slightly angry so as she wandered aimlessly down the street, she was silently cursing Grissom, and making her plans to finish with him, once and for all. He'd been acting oddly for a few weeks now and she just couldn't think why. He'd arrange to meet up with her, to go out to dinner and then not turn up. When she'd seen him at work he'd pretty much ignored her, and then dashed off on his lunch break to places unknown. She'd given him plenty of chances, and enough was enough. Of course, she'd just have to find him first to tell him so.

She finally got back to her house, after an uneventful walk home (well, if you don't count the falling in a pothole, the tramp with the inflatable banjo and Happy Ed the Used Car Salesman…), and kicked off her shoes and went to bed, resolving to call him in the morning.

She woke up the next morning to a beautiful day, sun shining, birds singing, poodles poodling - or whatever it is they do. It seemed a shame to spoil such a lovely day by finishing with her boyfriend but it had to be done. She picked up the phone and dialled his number.

"Gil"
"Oh.. Sara.. hi.."
"Where the hell were you last night? I waited for 2 HOURS, do you have any idea how embarrassing it is, being stood up!"
"Listen, I'll call you back, something's come up"
And he hung up.

Fuming, she pulled on her shoes and set off to his place. Never quite figured how stilettos and pyjamas went together, but somehow she pulled it off. After a long and painful walk (why didn't she take the car? Why?), made longer than usual because she forgot the way and had to take directions off a passing sheep, she arrived at his house.

Clattering her way up his drive, she noticed a few things out of the ordinary… there was a stack of magazines by the bin: "Goat Lovers Monthly" "My Goat and Me" and "Goat Express". She hadn't noticed he had a liking for goats before, OK, he had his quirks, but there were definitely no goat-shaped quirks. Secondly, there was a trough of water on the front lawn. He'd always said he wanted a swimming pool but he wasn't that strapped for cash, was he? The third unusual thing was the small orange penguin that seemed to have taken residence underneath the front step, which actually bears no relation to the plot of this story whatsoever, but penguins have feelings too.

Finally reaching the front door after the never-ending driveway (well, it seemed like it, there was a lot to take in on the way, and it didn't help that Happy Ed turned up again… when would he learn that she didn't want to buy a used car?) she hammered on it, yelling "GIL GRISSOM!" because, obviously, that is his name. She could have yelled "I'M A TAPDANCING LLAMA" but that wouldn't quite have the desired effect. The effect being Grissom opening the door, that is. Anyhow, he opened the door looking rather sheepish (being decked out head to toe in cotton wool added to the look) and said "I said I'd call you".
"Well tough, I'm here now… and why the hell are you covered with cotton wool?" she replied angrily.
"Oh this? It's nothing... uhm… new fashion trend.. from..uh..somewhere.."
Sara didn't have the time to hang around making small talk, she came here to finish with him and that was all. Plus, she'd left the oven on.
"OK Gil, what's going on? You ignore me, you stand me up, and now you're covered in cotton wool…"
"Ah.. well I guess there's no easy way to say this but.. I've met someone else..."
"YOU WHAT?"
"Well, something to be more precise"
Hundreds of thoughts ran through Sara's head. Something else? Had Grissom gone one step too far and fallen for an inanimate object? Had she really left the oven on? Why didn't he just tell her instead of leading her on for the past few weeks? And what in the name of arse was Happy Ed doing stood there taking notes?
"Sara… who's that guy?" Grissom pointed at Happy Ed.
"I have no idea…but stop trying to change the subject, what do you mean, something?"
"Well, maybe I should introduce you"
Puzzled, Sara stepped inside. His whole house had changed. There was hay everywhere, and she could hear a distinct bleating coming from the front room.
"I'd like you to meet…. Dorothy"
Sara somehow knew that she wouldn't like what was coming next (mainly because Happy Ed went in before her, and was now stood by the door going "Oh my God, you are not going to like this!") but nothing could prepare her for..
"A GOAT!"
"Isn't she great?"
"You're leaving me, for a goat?"
"Well, she's not just any goat! She's intelligent, she has feelings, and before you ask, no there isn't any funny business going on, she's saving herself for marriage"
Stunned, Sara turned to go out of the room.
"Hey, where are you going? Can we still be friends? I mean, you can come over to dinner any time you like! In fact Dorothy's having her ex, Billy, round tomorrow, we can make it work!"
"I have nothing more to say to you," Sara said to Grissom "Or you, Happy Ed, why the hell are you following me? GO AWAY".
As she walked away from the house, still slowly and painfully, as the pyjama/stilettos combo wasn't quite working out, more thoughts ran through her head… Why a goat? Why not another woman, that would be easier to take in! Now was it the oven or the iron she'd left on? Why did Happy Ed just ride past on a camel shouting "FREE THE HEDGHOGS!"?. She was so absorbed in these thoughts that she didn't quite notice where she was going, until she found herself at Greg's front door. He opened the door, looking concerned
"Hey, what's wrong?"
"OK well, I got stood up last night, Grissom's ran off with a goat, Happy Ed the Used Car Salesman is stalking me, I'm walking the streets in stilettos and pyjamas and I really do think I've left the oven on!"
"Oh," said Greg "I guess you'd better come in for coffee then…"