Title: Push

Author: Arwen Jade Kenobi

Characters/Pairings: Wilson (house/Wilson implied)

Rating: R (Language)

Summary: I want to push you around.

Author's Note: I just finished watching Whack-A-Mole for the second time and I hit my iTunes on. The first song that started playing was "Push" by Matchbox 20. This just came out. It's kinda stream of consciousness so I apologise for that.

I've been pushed around every step of the way in this relationship. I was even pushed into the relationship come to think of it. It's hard to rationalize anything when your best friend of twelve years jumps you; it's especially hard to remember reasons why this is a horrible idea.

House lies, cheats, and steals to get what he wants. I pay for his meals, I bow to his every whim and I take it. For over a decade I've fucking taken it. I never give a reaction aside from an irritated sigh or maybe a slight lecture that he'd blows off as just Jimmy being Jimmy. I've been wronged and I'm only now just realizing it. I don't deserve this. I'm just another distraction for his goddamned pain. We never talk about it. It's the once place where I'm not welcome. Any attempt is quickly diverted and I'm somehow put on the spot, as always, and don't bring it up again. I'd like to think I'm more than something to keep his mind off the pain, but I don't know anymore. He gives a damn but he won't do anything to show it.

He's lied to me, he's stolen scripts for me, and I lied for him. He didn't give a damn, didn't say anything. My assets were frozen and he just blows it off like it's some freak mistake that will just go away. He doesn't help anyone; it's all about him and his addiction, nothing else matters. Things go on as they always have. He gets to push me around and take me for granted.

Well I can push just as well as he can. I cannot take being used like this anymore. House has never had anyone push back at him before, or at least I've never pushed back. I'm pushing now. Even if I end up pushing him away for good, I'm going to keep on pushing. I officially cannot take this abuse anymore. The final question has been reached, the turning point that I knew would come.

In the end, it was me or the Vicodin. He's chosen the Vicodin. It's a mistake I can't let him make because, god damn it all, I need him. I need him. If he can force himself on everyone and manipulate everything to his specifications then I can as well. I can be selfish too. I want the pre-infarction Greg House back. I want to look at him and not see the glazed look in his eyes from the damned pills. I want him to smile like he means it and laugh again. I want him to find some sort of joy out of life that doesn't come from a drug induced buzz. The pills give him relief that I can't. That's my failing as a friend and I know it. I prescribe the fucking things. Prescribed the fucking things

Unlike him, though, I want to fix this mess and it will be with his tactics. He won't like it, I may even be ceremoniously dumped from his life the same way Stacey was. Part of me doesn't care anymore. I want to push him around, and I'll do it to. I want him to feel what I've felt the past decade and a bit. See how he likes it. He's screwed up and this time he's going to face it. I'm not picking up after him anymore.

The sad thing is that I'm doing this because, in the end, I still love the son of a bitch. He won't see it that way but that's too fucking bad for him. He doesn't own me, my actions are not something he can control or just expect because he's used to it.

You're facing this one alone, Greg. You've finally pushed too far. Satisfied?