In the Quantico parking lot—
It was just so sudden Kevin proposing, I mean yes we loved being together but it was just such a huge commitment with no notice. I definitely didn't want to break up, but he said there was no going backwards for him. I needed to talk to JJ, my Morgan would help me in the morning but right now I needed JJ. I should check with her before I go to her house, they just got back from a case.
" Hey Pen" JJ answered "We don't have another case already do we, I swear I just took my shoes off! "
" No, there isn't a case, I was just wondering…." My thoughts trailed off
" Earth to Penelope… Is everything okay?"
" Yes,,, well no, everyone and everything is physically fine at least as far as I know, I guess I could call everyone and double check just to make sure"
" Garicie, you are losing me here" JJ said worried
" I just wanted to talk to you, would it be okay if I came over?" I asked quietly
" You never have to ask before you come over, you know that, you're starting to freak me out, are you sure you're okay, do you need me to come get you, where are you? "
" No, I can drive over, thanks JJ I'll be there soon. "
At JJs House-
JJ called to Will in the next room and asked him to make sure Henry got his bedtime story.
"Something's going on with Penelope, she was really quiet which is never good, it has to be about Kevin or Derrick but I have no idea what it could be, everything has been great lately. Thank you for taking care of the little man, I know she needs me especially, since she asked for permission to show up, most times she knocks at the door with no notice with 10 present in her arms, ignore us and beelines for the little man. " JJ laughed fondly reflecting on how bright of a light she was in their family.
" Anything for my girls, you let me know if I need to beat someone up, that is if you let anyone else get a punch in" Will smiled and took Henry to bed
I knocked at the door and when JJ opened the door, she gave me that smile, that compassionate smile of a best friend who already knows what you need, that's when the tears started, I held it together pretty well until I saw her and she read me like a book without a single profiler trick used, just the best friend radar we had both finely honed after years of late night talks and girls nights with far too much wine that we never regretted. She hugged me and led me over to the couch without me even noticing; she was the master of the hug and move. A skill even my chocolate thunder hadn't perfected, it was a JJ thing and one of the million things I loved about her.
" Tell me what's going on Pen, you have me worried, you're never like this"
" What never crying, " I asked
" No, quiet " she retorted making both of us laugh
" Kevin proposed" I admitted
" Oh" JJ said
"Oh, that's all I get we are best friends for 7 years and I get an Oh, come on JJ even Reid would have spouted off some random facts about how marriage is good for your, bad for the economy, or in some way related to 17th century traditions" I ranted
" There she is, I knew that would work" JJ smiled
" That wasn't very nice" I said through a small smile
" Well, Kevin proposed, normally I would say that's great, but I know you, you are on a team full of commitment-phobes, I would know I am the official treasurer" JJ joked, she continued " You know Pen, I can't tell you to change your mind because I understand it gets scary when its real and the honeymoon- ness wears off and you are settle down with someone you really love and then the fear of losing them kicks into overdrive. You know in our family we have all lost someone dear to us, and it bonds us, it fuels our desire to save people when we can and stop bad things from happening and on the flip side it scares us. How many times have I called you almost in tears when cases have little boys around Henry's age, more times than I could probably count. My point is I understand why you would say no and all I really want for you is to be happy, I know Kevin makes you happy but I also know that decision to commit has to be made when you're ready. I don't tell you enough, but you are our light Garcia, your non-HR -approved language and encouragement keeps us going when we just want to fall over. For all that you are to us you deserve the world and I wont let you settle for less, it will all be okay. " JJ paused and looked at me
" How did you know I said No? " I asked
" Mad profiler skillz baby girl " She said in her horribly wonderful Derrick impression
" I'm just not ready and I know this and I tried to tell Kevin, maybe I could get there eventually but I am just so happy with how things are now and he broke up with me, he called it moving backwards, how can spending time together be moving backwards." I said exasperated
" Do you want me to beat him up for you ?" She smiled
" No… maybe, let me think about it. Do you really think it will all be okay JJ because right now it just hurts and it feels like a huge mistake. Like I should call him and say yes and figure it out as we go along" I said wavering
" Do you want to say yes because you're a fixer and you know it fix the way you feel right now or do you want to say yes because you want to marry Kevin" JJ said sternly
" The first one " The tears started flowing again
"It will be okay, I promise I am right here and we will get through this" She pulled me into a hug.
Next Morning at JJs House
I woke up in the guest bedroom at JJ house, when I went out to the living room Will and Henry were there"
" Morning Cher, How are you holding up? " Will said
" We will see it all depends on how big of a hug I get from my favorite godson"
Henry ran up and gave me a big hug, kids always seem to understand the world better than we do, I thought.
" Where's JJ" I asked
" She ran out real quick but she should be back any minute, I have to get the little man ready for school but come get us if you need anything," Will gave me a kiss on the head over the years he became a big brother to me, which was nice to have considering I was out of touch with mine.
