Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story, they all belong to Stephanie Meyer (who rocks our worlds)! All hail the Twilight princess!

Another disclaimer - this is my first fanfic, so please review! (And don't be too harsh - concrit welcomed!) I also need to know if I should keep writing - this could have more to it, but I only want to write as much as you want to read....and review!

Bella's POV

Jake turned slowly and reached for the phone. I was frozen, unable to move. What had almost happened? Relief washed through me, only to be replaced with a numb shock. I realized in that moment that I was desperate enough to have taken that step, just to keep Jacob in my life. I shouldn't be this surprised. Hadn't I just thought about it yesterday? Turning my head, kissing his shoulder – but that was before Alice was back. Not that it made any difference, if the rest of them weren't coming. I snapped back to attention to hear what he was saying.

"He's not here right now. He's arranging a funeral."

"Who is it?" I asked, quietly. Jake hesitated, then hung up the phone.

"Wait, Jake, who was that?"

"Dr. Carlisle Cullen," he sneered. I choked on my next breath, the wind knocked out of me. When I found my voice again, it burst out with a fury.

"Why didn't you let me speak to him?" I cried.

"He didn't ask for you – he asked for Charlie. I don't think I broke any major rules of etiquette-"

"I don't CARE! How could you not let me talk to him?" The anger welled up in me as I realized how close I had been to Carlisle, and now the opportunity was gone. Then the tears started to spill out and it made me even angrier. I hated how I cried when I was angry. I felt completely out of control – Carlisle had been within my reach and I was too stupid and slow to answer the phone in my own damn house. I couldn't make Jake give me the phone, couldn't make Alice stay with me. I couldn't call back Carlisle to ask him why he would ask for Charlie and not me. And there was still no Edward. No, he didn't even know Alice was here.

Then Jacob tensed and started to back out of the room.

"Bella, are you okay?" I heard Alice ask from behind me. The sound of her voice was beautiful, and soothed some of my grief. At least Alice is still here, I thought. She can get in touch with Carlisle. I rubbed my sleeve across my face.

"Alice, it was Carlisle on the phone, he just called."

"You spoke to him?" Alice asked.

"No," I said, glaring at Jake, who raised his hands defensively.

"He asked for Charlie, so I told him where he was."

"What did you say to him?" Alice asked.

"I told him that Charlie wasn't here."

"You said he was arranging a funeral," I added.

"Bella, tell me exactly what he said," Alice demanded.

"He isn't here, he's arranging a funeral. That's what he said." I turned my head to glare at Jake again, but only for a moment. His eyes were fixed on Alice's face, watching every move.

"It's okay, Bella." Alice paused. "Rosalie told Carlisle why I came here, he just wanted to check and make sure you weren't actually dead, or hurt. He was confused by the funeral comment so he called me to check, and I told him you were fine. Now are you alright?" I took a breath, waited a moment so that it would be mostly true. Or at least a little true.

"Yes," I said quietly.

"Do you want me to go back outside for a min-"

"No!" I cut her off, and looked at Jake. "Don't go. We're done." Jake swallowed, and backed the last two steps out of the room into the hallway. I followed him out. He yanked open the front door and I reached out to touch his arm. He turned his head, but his body was still angled out the door.

"Jake-" I didn't know what to say. I was still angry, but I didn't want to leave things on such a bad note. My mind tried to reach back to what had happened before the last four or five minutes, but I couldn't think clearly.

"No, I get it. We're done." He was shaking, and it made his voice sound choked. He pushed the door open and strode out.

"Wait, Jake," I called as I followed him. He paused, but he didn't turn around.

"You know I didn't mean it like that," I started.

"Do I?" He turned around, but he wouldn't look at me. He stood with shoulders slumped, hands clenched, staring at the ground. Even in the dark I could see the pain on his face. As I felt it echo through me, I remembered my own pain – not my pain over the phone call, or even realizing that just because Alice was back, nothing had changed. I remembered a different kind of pain. How I had begged Jake not to make me choose between him and my vampires, because I couldn't bear the thought of losing either of them. How I had already chosen Alice over him the previous night and how that had hurt him. How I wouldn't be standing here to make that choice again if he hadn't pulled me out of the water this morning. Or if he hadn't risked his own life to tear Laurent apart. Then it was easy to walk to him and wrap my arms around his waist, my cheek resting against his hot chest. After a moment, his arms closed around my back.

"Jake, you are still my best friend. Nothing has changed in the last five minutes. It's just – I love Alice, too, I need some time - look, can I call you?" I pulled away and looked up at his face. His expression was unreadable, but he nodded.

"I should probably get back to Sam, anyway, let him know." I nodded back at him.

"Bye, Bells," he whispered. Then he turned and ran into the woods.

Alice

"He isn't here, he's arranging a funeral. That's what he said." I hoped he could hear her. Was the phone still on? I glanced down. Yes, it was still connected. I used her name again, just trying to calm him.

"It's okay, Bella." Alice paused. "Rosalie told Carlisle why I came here, and he just wanted to check and make sure you weren't actually dead, or hurt. He was confused by the funeral comment and called me to check. Now are you alright?" I waited for her to answer my question, torn. I wanted her to say yes, for Edward's sake. But I wanted her to say no, for mine.

"Yes," I said quietly. I sighed a little.

"Do you want me to go back outside for a min-"

"No!" She cut me off. "Don't go. We're done." The dog left, and Bella followed him, giving me the minute I needed. The phone was at my ear in a flash.

"You heard?"

"Yes," Edward breathed. "Thank you, Alice. Is she really okay though? Is she hurt?" I gritted my teeth. The girl had jumped off of a cliff and nearly drowned yesterday. Of course she wasn't totally fine. Her voice was still hoarse, clearly. I saw the way she tried to swallow without looking like it hurt, but her throat was probably burning as badly as mine was yesterday. I forced the words to come out anyway, because I knew as much as I loved her, Edward loved her ten times as much. A hundred times as much. And what he needed and wanted from me was more important than what I wished for myself.

"Yes, Edward, she's just fine. I'm sorry, I never should have come here. Anything else? She could come back any second, I don't want to be on the phone."

"Alice, I don't know what I'm going to do yet."

"I know," I said, trying to stay light. "I would have seen if you had decided. Look, I'm sorry I put you through this. I never should have come here, and I'll leave as soon as I can."

I quickly shut the phone without hearing his reaction. I would see it soon enough. It was weird and uncomfortable to be blind, to not know when she would walk through the door. But sure enough, within seconds, the vision of Edward half blinded my eyes. He had made a decision. I could see through it, to the room in the background, but the vision hung like an overlay. Edward, sitting back down in a chair, the cell phone clasped between his hands. He leaned forward in the chair, put his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. He was staying put.

Relief washed over me. That was better – thank god for those three little words. When Edward heard that Charlie was arranging a funeral, I saw him flash through my mind – a hundred different visions in a second. Edward throwing a car through a wall, attacking a person in the middle of a, what was that a castle or a city? Standing in front of a train at full speed, ripping apart a vampire in a red cloak, stepping out into the sunlight in view of a crowd. Then that murmur – those three little words. 'Who is it?' Bella had asked, before the line went dead. That moment of hesitation where he had thought he heard her voice had been the only reason I could get hold of him. Otherwise I felt sure he would never have picked up. He would have been gone in a flash, and I would have lost my brother forever.

I did feel a little guilty. It felt wrong, letting him listen to our conversation and not telling Bella that he was on the phone – but I had clearly messed things up enough. I should never have come back. Even with the werewolves, and Victoria. The dogs had managed to keep Laurent away easily enough, they could handle Victoria. Or we could hunt her at a distance. Bella didn't need to know I was here. The two futures I had seen for Bella so long ago – her death at Edward's hands, or her eternal life, had disappeared the moment Edward chose to leave Forks. He had managed to confuse my visions more than any person ever had. His will was unbelievable. Stubborn, stubborn vampire. And if he did somehow manage to stay away from her, telling her that he had been within reach on the phone would only hurt her.

Clearly she suffered already. That much was inescapable, especially after what Charlie had told me that morning. Her reaction to my appearance, to what she thought was Carlisle's phone call – she was close to hysterical. Very close to a breaking point. And it had been what, six months? Didn't normal humans heal quicker than that? Of course they did. I sighed. I knew Bella wasn't normal.

She reappeared a moment later, and we fell back to talking, but the back half of my mind still spun, trying to decide what to do. Stay, or go? Hunt Victoria, or leave it to the dogs? I searched ahead for her future, but all I got were indistinct flickers. I didn't want to leave without knowing she would be safe, so I decided to stay, for the moment. And the moment I decided, I could see that Bella would be fine.

Jake

After I reported back to Sam, I ran patrol for six hours. Nothing. I was frustrated. I needed a fight now more than ever. I wanted to rip a bloodsucker apart, tear it limb from limb. The smell of that thing was burned in my nose. It made my heart race and my skin crawl. My jaw ached to close down on something and feel the crunch…but there was nothing to attack. My paws pounded the earth relentlessly as I ran the boundary line. Bella was shut up in her house with her leech bff and the thought made my hair stand on end. I had been so close. I pushed the thought out of my mind until I could phase. I didn't want anyone hearing any more than my anger. The fighting instinct was so strong I hadn't paid any attention to what Quil and Embry had been thinking. As I broke my train of thought, I heard them, but there wasn't much to hear today. My desire for the fight was catching – they were feverishly looking for any sign of the red-headed leech, their thoughts almost directly in tune with what mine had been. Their thoughts were slightly more enthusiastic. Mine were murderous.

By the time patrol was up and Sam relieved us, my anger hadn't quite burned out, but there was room now for other thoughts. I phased back automatically, and as I pulled on my sweatpants, I didn't try to stop them. I had been so close. Not just I. We. We had been so close. For the first time when I looked in her face I had seen a flicker of what I always wished I would see. Then the phone and hearing that unnatural voice, like the screech of nails on a blackboard. Seeing her face when I told her – stupid, stupid, stupid. Why did I tell her? Why didn't I just lie and say it was someone else? Because the other bloodsucker would have known and told her. I could have pretended that I didn't know who it was. But she would have seen right through that, my physical reaction gave too much away. I should've let her talk to him. But every bone in my body repelled that idea. Wasn't it enough she still had one of them hanging on her, sucking all of the life out of her? How long would it take us to get back to where we had been before that phone rang? When I saw her face I wondered if I had actually blown it, if there was ever a chance. But then she followed me, and I felt her arms around me…she had that soft, pleading look on her face that just makes me come undone. Just the stupid leeches were always in the way.

It was dark when I got home, and Billy wasn't back yet. I figured he was still over at the Clearwater's. I felt a little guilty. I hadn't thought about Seth, or Leah, all day. They hadn't even crossed my mind, and I knew they should've. I was really young when I lost my mom. I could only imagine how much worse it would be for them. They had full memories, and they were both dealing with all of the wolf stuff on top of it. I huffed a breath. I would give myself ten minutes. Ten minutes to sit and plan. Then I would go over there.

I went to the Clearwater's and did my duty. Leah had nothing to say, for once. But Seth had appreciated it. He needed to talk about something normal, so after the initial condolences we talked about anything else. School, the game that was on tonight, wondering how it turned out since neither of us watched. Then I had taken my dad home, got ready for bed, and snuck back out at midnight.

I figured this was the dumbest idea I ever had, but in this situation I actually didn't have any better ideas. There had to be one, but I consoled myself with the thought that I really had only allowed myself ten minutes to plan, which wasn't a ton. So at 12:15 a.m. I found myself running through the dark woods towards Bella's house to try to talk some sense into a leech.

I was going to have to do this human, obviously, so I could talk, but I pushed all thoughts out of my head and just concentrated on running on my way. While I was still in the woods I phased back and walked the rest of the way. If the guys heard what I was going to do, they would stop me. As it was, this conversation could ignite a war, but I wasn't too worried about it actually. It was just one vampire I could take her down. If more appeared and I couldn't handle it, I was pretty sure I could phase and outrun her back to the border of La Push, or at least hold them off until help could come to me. I just hoped that if I had to take her down where she stood, the other vampires wouldn't realize we broke the treaty. Or maybe I did want the treaty broken. Maybe a full, throw down fight was what we needed to get them gone for good. No, I couldn't let it come to that. Bella would never forgive me. Then we really would be done. No, if this went wrong, then I had to just ditch the idea and start back at square one.

The house was dark, including Bella's room. I listened closely, and I could hear Charlie snoring. I couldn't hear anything from Bella's room, but I figured if she was up, she'd be talking to that…I supposed I'd have to use its name. Was it Allison? No.

"Alice?" I murmured quietly. I waited a minute, then saw a pale flash at Bella's window. It opened. Her face was suspicious.

"Just want to talk," I said quietly, raised my hands palms up in a show of peace.

"I can hear you from here," she whispered. "What do you want?"

"Is Bella sleeping?"

"Yes. I repeat, what do you want?"

"I want to know why you're here."

"I'm here to make sure Bella's okay."

"Well she is. She says the rest of your bunch isn't coming back. Is that true?"

"Yes."

"And are you planning on staying here indefinitely?" She hesitated.

"No."

"Then you need to leave," I answered. It hadn't come out quite the way I'd practiced. She hissed softly, and it made my muscles tense, start shaking.

"I don't answer to a dog," she spat, and started to close the window.

I forced myself to relax. "Look, this isn't about the treaty. It's not about anything except Bella. If you actually care about her, you'll leave." She hesitated, her hands on the frame, and I could see her forehead pucker, her eyebrows raised. She lowered her hands and said so quietly I could barely hear:

"I know." My heart suddenly beat furiously against my chest. She knew? Was this actually working? I hadn't expected that. It crossed my mind that maybe I had actually come here looking for a fight. But now it seemed like maybe I would get exactly what I wanted. She reached for the window again, but I wanted to hear her actually say that she would leave. I tried to think of what to say, but I was still reacting.

"S-So, you'll go?" I stuttered. She nodded, slowly,

"When I see that she's safe."

"You mean when you see her future is safe?" She looked seriously displeased. She didn't like me knowing about her ability, but she nodded again.

"You can't see me. You can't see my pack. We can protect her, we already have! We took out that leech with the dreads, we can handle the redhead too." She was already shaking her head. "Or if you actually want to help, why don't you just tell me what the bloodsucker is going to do, and we can take her out?" Part of me was screaming against the insanity. What was I asking her to do, work with me? Help me? But if this was all that was standing between Bella and a leech-free life, there wasn't anything I wasn't willing to do, and I could see the indecision in her face.

Bella murmured something and Alice was gone from the window. I froze. Was I caught? She really would never forgive me if she knew what I was doing. There was no more noise. Maybe she talked in her sleep? I waited in a daze, wondering if Alice would come back. I don't know how long I stood there. Finally, when it was clear she would not, I turned to leave and walked toward the woods. There was no stopping these thoughts from coming, but now I didn't care. I had hope. My paws hit the ground and I let her words replay in my head.

Sam was beyond angry. Embry was freaked. Quil was pissed. Until I got the phone call.

Bella

I couldn't make it through the school day on Monday. By 6th period I was biting my nails, and the decision to ditch gym was easy. It was my last class of the day, and by far my least favorite, so I snuck out to my truck and pulled out, driving faster than usual in my haste to get home. I had made Alice promise twice that she would stay in the house until I came back. The thought of missing so many hours with her while I was sitting in class was unendurable. I hadn't heard a word of what my teachers had said. I was lucky they still weren't calling on me in class.

I pulled up to the curb, hopped out of the truck, and tripped on my way to the house I was in such a hurry. When I walked in, I knew something was wrong.

"Alice?" I called. There was no answer. I checked the living room, then ran upstairs to my room and pushed open the door. The bed was made, which I hadn't done, and Alice's little bag was gone. I looked frantically for a note, anything that would tell me when she was coming back.

"Alice?" I called again, but it was closer to a wail. I ran to my computer to check and make sure she hadn't left a note on there, or an e-mail, but it was taking so long to start up I hopped out of the chair again. Then I realized I hadn't checked the kitchen. I ran back downstairs and looked at the message pad. There was nothing. When the phone rang, sharp and shrill, I jumped and snatched it out of the cradle.

"Hello?" I answered, anxiety coloring my tone.

"Bella, it's Alice."

"Alice," I breathed, "where are you?"

"I had to go, Bella. Victoria was nearby this morning."

"Are you ok? Is she gone? When are you coming back?" The words poured out in a torrent.

"I am fine. Victoria is gone, the wolf pack took her out early this morning." I tried to understand the words she was saying, but they sounded too good to be true. Now the words came slower, haltingly.

"Victoria is…gone? For good?"

"Yes, Bella, she's really gone. I watched it myself. You don't have to worry anymore."

"Alice, that's amazing! Oh my god, I just don't even know what to say – wait, when are you coming back?"

"I can't. Bella, I have to go, I'm on my way back to Jasper."

"What? Wait, you mean now?"

"Yes. I'm sorry – I shouldn't have come in the first place. I have to go, my flight is boarding. Please take care of yourself, Bella. No more jumping off cliffs."

"But Alice wait, when will I hear from you again? Can I call you-"

"I'm sorry Bella, that's not the way Edward wants it. You won't hear from me again. I…" She stopped, and I couldn't respond. My throat was tight, my eyes already streaming. My chest threatened to explode. I could feel the stitches unraveling, exposing the hole that had so recently started to close. "I will miss you." Then she was gone.

I felt my chest tear open. There it was. The hole that had threatened to consume me. The grief and sorrow washed over me, heavy as the waves that had dragged me under, but without that feeling of peace. I couldn't see or hear Edward anywhere.

I don't remember how I got in my room. I don't remember Charlie coming home. The next thing I remember is looking up and seeing Jake standing in the doorway to my room, with Charlie peeking over his shoulder. Then Charlie turned and went downstairs, and Jake stepped hesitantly forward.

Jake

Charlie had called Billy, but I already knew what he was going to say. I knew that Bella's bloods- Alice- was gone. I felt a grudging respect, so I used her name, even just in my head. She had kept her word, and done better. When I got the phone call early that morning I couldn't believe it. She'd sat the rest of the night, focusing on where Victoria was going, each decision she made to turn right or left… and finally recognized a spot in the trees that gave away her location. Then it was actually pretty easy. She told us where Victoria would be. We set our trap, and after she chased Victoria in, she left. I'm assuming she saw and smelled the pillar of smoke that meant the red headed demon had burned. Maybe she could just see in her head that there was no more future with Victoria in it. I never saw Alice, though I smelled her trail through the woods.

Sam was pleased. He would never admit that it was entirely my doing, that I had somehow brute forced a treaty with the enemy to end the inane back and forth, feint and run that had us all running ragged after that bitch. I didn't care. I didn't need his praise. I only cared about what one person would have to say to me. Though from what Charlie said, and what I saw in front of me, it didn't seem like she had much to say at all. Bella was gone. Her body was there, but her eyes were vacant, dry, staring straight ahead, though her cheeks were stained with tears. I tried calling her again, and I could feel Charlie trying to peer around me into the room. I shifted slightly to try and let him see, although I couldn't imagine he wanted to see this. It was heartbreaking.

I heard Charlie sigh, and I knew that this must be what she looked like when he first left. Back to square one, I thought.

"Bella? Can I come in? You ok?" I waited a few seconds. It didn't seem like I was going to get a response, but suddenly she snapped her head to look at me. I watched as her eyes became aware. I tried a small smile.

"Yeah, sure, come in. I'm fine, dad." Her voice was hoarse and husky, but she nodded and spoke with conviction. I took a step into her room, then turned back to Charlie.

"Uh, is this ok? I mean that I'm up here?" We didn't generally hang out in her room. I had actually never been in there with his permission before.

He nodded and patted me on the back, relief all over his face.

"Yeah, I'll just be downstairs watching the game. Let me know if you guys get hungry." He pulled the door halfway shut and went back downstairs.

Bella was looking at me, and for once, I couldn't tell what she was thinking. Usually I knew without her saying a word, but this time I was at a loss. Stick to the plan, I thought to myself. The plan was, be her friend. The same way you did the first time. Just pretend it's like the first time she came down to La Push after that idiot piece of…no I wouldn't think of him. Just, be her friend.

"Hey Bells, I heard your friend left. Thought you might like some company." I choked a little on the word 'friend', but otherwise I thought I pulled it off. She was still just staring at me. I prayed that the bloodsucker hadn't told her about our conversation. I couldn't imagine that Bella knew. Otherwise she would probably be trying to kill me, and there was just no response from her. "I wasn't sure if you would want to see me…" Nothing. Just this staggered look, like she was surprised, or confused. I took another step forward and she tilted her head up to keep looking at my face. Ok, so she wasn't totally out of it. I sat on the edge of her bed, and took one of her hands. It felt cold to me, but I couldn't tell if she was cold or if it was just the temperature difference. She looked at our hands, then back at my face. Finally, she spoke.

"Alice said that your pack took out Victoria."

"Yes. You're safe, Bells. Nothing to be worried about. Although it's too bad you don't have to hide out in La Push anymore. I think Billy's really going to miss you." Not Billy – me. I'm going to miss you there, I thought to myself.

"Is everyone ok? Quil, and Embry, and Sam…" she trailed off.

"Everyone is just fine. Well, Quil is a little pissed off because Sam and I got to have most of the fun, but yeah, everyone is great."

She squeezed my hand gently and looked in my eyes.

"Thank you." A brief smile touched the corner of her lips. The hand I held struggled to get free, and I released it. Then she sat forward and both of her arms reached for me. I moved into them without thinking, holding her against me, running my hand over her hair and stroking her back. Her voice was small, muffled against my shirt.

"Jacob?"

"Yeah?"

"I have to tell you something." I held her firmly, bracing for whatever it would be. She pulled back though, and I let her go. She spoke quickly, looking down, refusing to meet my eyes.

"Jake, I'm crazy. I wanted to ride the bikes because whenever I did something dangerous, I would hear Edward's voice, like he was standing right next to me. I felt like I had nothing that could prove he ever existed, and when I heard his voice, it was like I had him back again... It was so clear. Like he was standing right next to me. That's why I kept going too fast and crashing the bike. But then after awhile, I got too good at riding the bike so I had to find something else. So I jumped off the cliff instead of waiting for you." She shook her head, while I watched it come pouring out.

"I told you that I'm broken. I'm not a good bet, and I'm selfish. I want to be fair to you, but even more than that I don't want to lose you. So I'm telling you the truth so that you know exactly how badly messed up I am." She paused, but her eyes never left her lap. What was the point of this? As the words sank in, I felt like laughing. Was this the big confession? That she was totally crazy and still hurting over that asshole? Like I didn't know. Ok, the hearing his voice thing was a little creepy, not to mention really annoying, but hadn't she just admitted it was going away?

"You're way, way too good for me, Jake." She closed her eyes. Then I got the point. This was the moment I had been hoping for. She was giving me a chance. My heart skipped a beat. I had thought I would have to pick up broken Bella pieces for another six months before we could even get back to me hoping for a chance with her. And I knew that was all I needed – just a chance to show her how I felt, to let herself be open to feeling the same way. Once she gave herself the chance I knew she could heal. Maybe not totally, but enough to be happy.

I waited for a minute, but it seemed like she was done and waiting for judgment. Did she really think this would make me feel differently? I had already made that call a long time ago.

"Is that it?" I asked, and I couldn't quite keep the smile out of my voice. Her forehead furrowed, but she didn't open her eyes. I reached out and put one finger under her chin. I tilted her face up, but she kept her eyes closed.

"Bells, open your eyes." Her eyes fluttered open to reveal those beautiful, liquid brown eyes that I loved. I grinned at her. "I already knew there was something wrong with your brain," I teased. She half laughed, and her eyes filled with tears. I leaned closer, hesitating just inches from her lips. Then her eyes closed and I felt her move in, just slightly. That was enough for me. I closed the distance and our lips met.

Bella

His lips were soft, and warm against mine, moving gently. He was still after a moment, and when I opened my eyes, he had pulled back to look at my face. I blushed, but I reached a hand up and laid it against his cheek. His eyes widened and I heard him suck in a shallow breath as he released my chin and reached for me in earnest, his hand sliding behind my neck to draw me towards him again. His lips were less hesitant, and more serious, but still gentle as they moved with mine. My other hand reached up to rest on his shoulder as his other arm went around my waist. My heart was hammering, out of control. I couldn't hear anything except his ragged breathing and my pulse as it beat in my ears. As his fingers splayed against the small of my back and drew me closer still, my chest pressed against him and the heat was electrifying. I parted my lips to gasp in reaction, and his tongue found mine. I stiffened automatically, surprised. He relaxed his grip and went back to kissing me gently, sweetly. After a moment, we broke apart. He stared at me with awe.

"Bells…," he whispered.

Jacob

"Bells…" I whispered. I had no words. The joy was overwhelming. I had wanted this so badly, and it seemed like it would never happen, that she would never look at me with the tenderness that was in her face in that moment. She brushed a hand along my face.

"You look exhausted. When's the last time you slept?"

"I, uh, you know, I don't remember."

"Can you stay for a while?" Music to my ears.

"Yeah, sure. Billy won't mind." She scooted over on the bed and pulled my hand so that I would turn around. I sat with my back against the headboard and stretched out my legs. I watched in disbelief as she curled up, her head on my chest because she was too short to reach my shoulder. The length of her body pressed against my side, which after the first ten seconds I thought would drive me to total distraction. But I was tired, and clearly so was she. I let my right arm settle gently around her with my hand on her back, and sighed. After a minute, I realized that her body was cooling me, helping me calm down. I closed my eyes and drifted…

Usually I'm hard to wake up, but I do have a natural parent sensor built in. I don't know what time it was when Charlie pushed open the door, but my eyes popped open and for a second, I panicked. I hadn't given him a second thought when I climbed in bed with his daughter. Not that we were doing anything, but still. Bella was passed out, and hadn't moved from her spot. I put a finger to my lips, pointed to myself, and made a jerking motion with my thumb to show him I was leaving. His eyes widened and he held up his palms, as if to say, 'don't get up!'

"Do you have to go?" He whispered loudly. Was he serious? I looked at his face. Yes, yes he was. I half shrugged and shook my head. He blew out a breath, lowered his hands, and studied Bella. I looked down at her. Her face was totally peaceful, although I could still see faint tracks where the tears had run down her face. Her hair covered her shoulders in messy waves. Girls spent fortunes and hours trying to make their hair that combination of adorably messy and sexy. I glanced back up at Charlie, and he half smiled. I motioned to my wrist, mouthing, what time? He held up the pointer finger from each hand. Eleven. I pointed to him, then made a telephone with my left hand, then pointed at myself. He looked confused for a moment, then he got it.

"Billy?" he mouthed. I nodded and smiled my thanks, and he turned around to leave. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes again. Three steps down, I heard him turn around and come back up. He reached inside, flipped off the light, and closed the door most of the way. Seriously? This had to be the best day ever. The best night ever.

As far as I was concerned, Charlie had given me license to sleep comfortably. I gently slid myself down until my head rested on her pillow. Her bedding smelled heavenly. The scent of her strawberry shampoo mixed with her own scent – she smelled like flowers and something delicious. I remembered a passage in that stupid book Tess of the D'Urbervilles that they made us read in school. When the guy kissed her he said she tasted like honey and milk and fresh bread…at the time I thought that was ridiculously stupid, but now I actually knew what he meant. Bella smelled sort of like that, but she tasted better. I couldn't compare it to anything I already knew.

I finally ended up having to rest one foot on the floor, and I bent my other leg up to fit in the bed, but it was a welcome change of position. She woke up enough to readjust slightly, her tiny arm no longer curled beneath her, but stretched out across my stomach, her other hand holding my shoulder. There wasn't anything I could hear, or see, or smell, or feel that wasn't Bella. I kissed her hair lightly and settled into sleep.