I'm taking a break from iMust Break A Curse because no one's reading it or reviewing it and stuff. Plus, I think I'm just a horrible writer so..Yeah. Anywho, here's a new story and it's not really depressing, but it sort of is.
Also, whenever you see xx3xx that's just a separation of the Past, Present, and Future. I'm not really pleased on how I wrote the future parts, but it's pretty good.
Anywho, please read and review! It'll mean the world to me! :)
Words(not including A/N):2, 239
*This story is dedicated to one of my BFFs who was recently sexually harassed.*
I ran along the sidewalk to Carly's apartment. We had just become friends a few days ago and she invited me over to her house. I was very, very excited. I looked at the paper in my hand with her room number and I quickly ran up the stairs. I finally got to the right floor and started looking around me. I looked at the two doors on my side. I wasn't too great of a reader so I couldn't tell which was which.
I took a deep breath and turned to my left and started knocking on the door. I waited for three agonizing minutes until the door flew open. A little boy with cute brown eyes and brown hair was staring up at me. "Is Carly here?" I asked him, peeking into the apartment.
"Carly? Carly Shay?" the boy asked me.
"Yeah," I told him.
"I wish she was here. But she actually lives in that apartment," he said. He pointed to the door behind me and I turned my head to look at it.
"Kay, thanks numb," I said turning on my heel and walking off.
"Hey!" he said. I turned around and looked at him. "What's your name?" he asked me.
"Sam Puckett," I told him.
"Cool name. Mine's Freddie Benson," the boy named Freddie said.
"Oh," I said quietly. "Weird name." I smirked at him and knocked on Carly's door.
xx3xx
I sit down on the couch, listening to them in the kitchen. I turn my head a little bit and see Carly and Freddie making out. I sigh sadly and slowly get up and leave. I open the door and look behind me, but they're too busy. Together. Without me. I walk away from the apartment and run down the stairs.
I slowly walk away from Bushwell Plaza and down the sidewalk. I look up at the bright, sunny sky and I feel even worse inside. I take a turn to the shortcut(which is just an alley). I hear footsteps behind me, but I ignore it. I continue walking along and suddenly, a hand is over my mouth and wrapped around my waist. I start to scream, but I can't. I start to elbow the person, but ropes are already wrapping around me. I'm shoved to the ground and I look up to see a man, standing over me.
I struggle, trying to use my strength to get away from here, but I can't. The man gets closer to me and I feel his hands roaming my body. I try to scream, but there's a gag in my mouth and a knife at my throat. "If you try to get away, I'll cut this knife into your throat," his deep voice whispers. I whimper quietly to myself.
-x-
It's all over. My life. It's gone. I don't feel anything anymore. All I feel is depression.
Carly is gone from my life, she got pissed when I kept being all moody and depressed.
Freddie is gone from my life, he was worried, but Carly was pissed. So he followed her.
Even Gibby is gone from my life. He was wondering, but Carly was pissed, and since he loves her, he followed her. Just. Like. Freddie.
If only it wasn't that damn man who did this to me. If only it wasn't Carly and Freddie, being in-love. If only I was strong enough to fight back.
Of course, there's nothing I can say or do about this anymore. Nothing I can do to stop the pain of my life. Now, I'm just by myself in this world. Not even my own sister will talk to me. Or my mother. Let's just say, no one.
Not even food eases the pain.
I actually stopped eating.
I guess you could say I'm anorexic.
I would agree with you, because I am.
I try to eat, but my mind doesn't want it anymore. It's hard to eat now. Even when I try to, I just can't. And trust me, I've tried.
That's probably another reason they all left me.
-x-
I walk into school and go to my locker. Carly is there and she looks angrier than usual. She glares at me and walks away from me. "Bitch," she murmurs at me as she walks off. I sigh sadly. Life really does hate me.
I look around me. No one is there. Well, except for a little dork kid walking to me. "Hey," he says quietly glancing around him like someone's going to kill him.
"Hi," I say just a quietly.
"So, we haven't talked in a long time," he says evidently not knowing what to say. I shrug. "So, what have you been doing lately?" he asks.
"Nothing," I say.
"Do you still love food?" he asks randomly.
"No," I say.
"Oh." He stops talking and takes a deep breath. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I miss you, Sam. I wish you would come back into my life. I just really, really miss you. I miss you beating me up 24/7, I miss all the names you called me, and I miss you."
I look over into his dark brown eyes and smile for the first time in months. "You really miss me?" I ask him.
He smiles back. "Yeah." I feel my heart flutter in circles. "Do you maybe want to hang out at my place later?" he asks.
My smile gets even wider. "Yeah, I'd love to," I say happily. Then, my heart stops. "Wait, what about Carly?" I ask.
"Her? We broke up a few days ago. I thought you would know that," he said.
I shrugged. "I'm not into the times anymore. Ever since..." I trail off and feel tears coming into my eyes. "Gotta go," I said as I run off to the girl's bathroom.
-x-
I show up at Freddie's apartment door and he opens it up for me. "Hey, Sam!" he says. "I got one of your favorites, fried chicken!"
I try to smile at the thought of fried chicken, but the thought of food just makes me feel sick. "Thanks.." I say sadly.
"What's wrong?" he asks.
"I just don't like fried chicken anymore," I say to him.
"Oh.. I have fat cakes?" he says, saying it more like a question.
"I don't eat anymore."
"Oh," he says sadly. "You...er.. really have changed."
I shrug and slowly walk into the apartment. Everything was the way it was whenever I use to come in here and grab Freddie and force him to Carly's place whenever we needed to talk. I smiled slightly at all of the good memories. Of course, most of them were before Carly and Freddie dated. Before hell broke loose into my life.
xx3xx
I will wear a long white dress on a special day. I will walk down the aisle, staring only at one boy. That one boy will be Freddie Benson. The boy I had met many years ago.
I will say 'I do' and he will too. He will wrap his arms around my waist and slowly dip me down and kiss me on the lips. I will smile happily into the kiss. We will break apart and stare out into the crowd.
I will see my mother dabbing at her eyes. She will be happy that I have found my sunshine in my life again. She will be glad that my life is brighter and happier again. She will be happy that I have started eating again. She will be happy for so many reasons.
I will see my sister sitting in the crowd. She will be smiling up at me and I will, for once, smile back at her. She will be glad that I have actually fallen in-love with someone who won't be a jerk to me or break my heart. My heart that has been shredded to pieces most of my life.
I will see Spencer, smiling at the girl sitting next to him. After all the insane years of his life, he finally found the perfect girl. He will also be happy that I'm with somebody too.
I will see Gibby. He will be wearing a tie over his bare chest and he will still be slightly chubby. He will be glad that I have started to beat him up again. Though it is still painful for him, he will be glad. Of course, it won't be as much as it use to be.
I will see Carly. She will be holding hands with Gibby and staring up at me. She will be happy for me. She will be glad that I'm back to my old self. That I'm a meat-loving girl again, that I'm a kickass girl again, that I've actually found a guy who won't hurt me. Like all the other guys I've ever dated(well, except for bacon boy, he was nice since he gave me bacon).
-x-
I will find myself alone with Freddie. He'll smile down at me and I'll feel my small heart flutter around. He will lean over and kiss my lips for the millionth time. I'll pull him down to me and then shove him against the bed and run off. I'll run outside and walk around the town. I will hear Freddie's footsteps and hear is aggravated sigh. He'll wrap an arm around my waist and walk around with me. I'll feel his lips on the top of my head.
-x-
I'll find myself back in the room. Alone with Freddie again. This time we're both under the covers. Freddie is fast asleep and my head is resting on his bare chest. I'll wrap an arm around him and pull myself closer to him and close my eyes. I'll smile and try to close my eyes, but it won't work.
I will feel Freddie shift his position and he's suddenly on top of me. He'll smirk down at me and kiss me on my lips. I'll wrap my arms around his neck and try to pull him closer against me.
-x-
I will be in the kitchen of mine and Freddie's house. I'll be trying to cook while Freddie's arms are wrapped tightly around my waist. He'll bend down and kiss my neck. I'll smile and feel him get closer to me. I'll turn my head and kiss his lips. He'll rub my stomach and smile into the kiss.
I'll pull away from him and smile up into his dark brown eyes. 'I hope he's just like you,' I'll whisper to him.
'I hope he's just like you,' he'll say to me.
I'll kiss him again. I'll turn away from him and start to cook again.
-x-
I'll be sitting there. On the front porch and I'll look over at Freddie. His dark brown eyes will still sparkle even though he'll be really old looking. His hand will move over mine and my heart will flutter for the billionth time. I'll know that my heart will always flutter at his presence for the rest of my life.
I'll hear a car coming down the road and a middle aged boy will jump out of it. He'll be holding hands with a red haired woman and two little kids will be jumping out of the backseat. They will be shouting 'Grandma' and 'Grandpa' as they run over to us. The little girl will jump into the small chair next to mine and rest her head on my arm.
Another car will show up and girl with long, curly brown hair will come out of it and smile up at me. A man's arm will be wrapped around her shoulders and they'll both walk over to us. 'Great news,' she'll say. 'What do you think about a new grandkid?'
I'll smile and rest my head on Freddie's shoulder and think everything is perfect.
But I'll never forget my past. No matter how old I get, I'll never forget the demons that use to live inside my body.
Even when I'm dead, I'll never forget.
No one will ever know about it though.
Only me.
And the man who did it to me.
Not even Freddie, my own husband, will ever know.
Of course, he was wondering why I wasn't a virgin that one night.
But I'll never let the demons back inside me.
