Hello! This is just a little songfic that I came up with. The song is "When You Say You Love Me" by Josh Groban. The song is beautiful, and I thought very fitting for Erik and Christine. Enjoy!
She had left me. She had left me to go with that foolish boy, the Vicomte. I had offered her everything, everything I had to offer, and it wasn't good enough. I had been her teacher, her kidnapper and her Angel of Music. I had threatened, begged and pleaded, but I had still lost. She is gone and there is nothing more I can do. A blind, red rage comes over me, and I grasp a ancient vase and hurl it against the stone walls of the my lair. It hits with a crash and shatters into a million pieces. There are sheets of music on the organ. I pick them up and tear them, heedless of the years of work that had gone in to them. I don't care. Without Christine there is nothing. I am nothing. I am unaware of anything but my rage, my pain, as I destroy everything around me. What does it matter...
I don't know how long I go on, breaking, tearing, destroying, before I am utterly exhausted. I am alone, standing in the ruins of what had been my home, realising that I have no desire to try to repair the damage. I find an overturned chair and turn it upright and sink into it, burying my face in my hands. All I had wanted was her love…was that so much to ask? Pain unlike I had ever felt gripped me and I doubled over. I fight my emotions and lose the battle. I begin to sob.
In the darkness that is my world time passes slowly and I lose all sense of time, of day and of night. The world becomes hazy as the gaslit candelabra's sputter and die. I stagger into Christine's room and collapse on the bed, not eating, not moving, wishing that I could lose myself in the darkness and never return. Silence echoes loudly in the room, the room once filled with music and Christine's beautiful voice, once upon a time when I was her Angel…
'Like the sound of silence calling
I hear your voice and suddenly
I'm falling, lost in a dream…'
"Erik! Erik, oh God, Erik!"
I hear the voice through a hazy wall of darkness. In my feverish mind I think it must be an Angel, but how does one condemned to Hell receive a visit from an angel?
"Please, Erik, don't die, stay with me!"
'Like the echoes of our souls are meeting
You say those words and my heart stops beating
I wonder what it means…"
A light sputters to life and a face swims out of the darkness towards me. It looks like Christine, and I know now that I must be hallucinating. Christine is with Raoul…
A soft hand brushes my cheek where the mask usually sits, but the mask is gone, lost perhaps among the ruins of my home. I vaguely realise, through the fog, that I am being fed broth, coddled and cared for. A beautiful dream, I wish it never to end.
I don't know how much time has passed, but when my eyes open again I am greeted by a sight that surely meant I was still asleep, or perhaps dead. Christine, my Angel, is sitting on the edge of the bed, holding my hand in hers. My heart begins to race as I realise I am not dead. We stare at each other. I am unable to utter a word. I am holding my breath as if to breathe will cause Christine to fade away.
'What could it be that comes over me
At times I can't move
At times I can't breathe…"
"Christine?" I finally whisper. Her beautiful, concerned face breaks into a smile.
"Oh, Erik!" she says softly. "I thought I was too late. I thought you were…." She breaks off and looks down, eyes glistening with tears.
"Why are you here?" I ask. My mind is whirling.
"I…" she says, "I had to come back."
"Why? Why come back? You got your precious Raoul, you won the prize. What reason could you possibly have to come back?" Even half dead I am able to muster up a good angry voice and Christine cringes.
"Oh, Erik," she says again. I wish she would say something else, but she is flustered, nervous, and I wonder if the Vicomte is in the next room with the authorities, waiting to arrest me.
'When you say you love me,
the world goes still, so still and silent
When you say you love me
For a moment there's no one else alive…"
"Erik, I was wrong, I was so wrong!" she says suddenly, quickly, the words tripping over each other.
My heart thumps loudly, the sound echoing in my ears as I try to figure out what she means. Because she can't possibly mean what it sounds like…
"Erik, I love you! I love you so much!" Christine blurted out. Her eyes spill over and tears course down her cheeks. "When I came in here, I thought you were already dead, I thought I was too late! I thought you had died not knowing how I feel!"
My heart stops altogether then, and the silence in the room is deafening.
'You're the one I've always thought of
I don't know how, but I feel sheltered in your love
You're where I belong…'
I can barely believe her words. She is crying, sobbing, and I reach a hand out to wipe the tears from her face, half expecting her to recoil from my touch. She nestles her face into my hand and I caress her cheek gently. She opens her eyes and looks at me. With a tiny smile she leans down and kisses me. First the good side of my face, then the scarred and disfigured side. I sit, disbelieving, as she cups my face with her soft hands and her lips touch mine, gently, softly. It is nothing like our last kiss, which was angry and demanding. This kiss is slow and gentle and it is as if the missing piece of the puzzle that is my life has finally fit into place. She wraps her arms around me and I feel safe in her arms.
'And when you're with me if I close my eyes,
There are times I feel like I can fly
For a moment in time
Somewhere between the Heavens and Earth
Frozen in time, Oh when you say those words…'
"Oh, Christine, Christine," I whisper, running my fingers through her soft hair. "I love you, too, you'll never know how much."
She smiles at me through her tears. "I'm so sorry I left you, Erik. I was just so confused, but I knew, almost immediately that it was wrong, that I don't love Raoul, I love you. But I was afraid to come back, afraid you would hate me for what I had done."
Her words warm me, comfort me, and I feel truly happy for the first time in my life. And for the first time in my life I feel as if I believe in Heaven.
'And this journey that we're on,
How far we've come and I celebrate every moment…'
Christine sighs and lies beside me on the bed, resting her head on my chest. We've come so far, from teacher and student to hunter and prey to this; a perfect love. I gently stroke her hair as I ponder the reality that Christine Daae, my Angel of Music, is curled up in my arms, and she loves me. She knows me as no other has ever known me, and she loves me anyway.
'And when you say you love me
That's all you have to say
I'll always feel this way…'
"I love you, Erik," she says again and I laugh, perhaps the first true laugh in all my days. I laugh, thinking that I never thought I would hear those words from her lips. She is beautiful, amazing, and I love her. She sits up and looks at me, her eyes shining as I laugh.
'When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still and silent
When you say you love me
In that moment I know why I'm alive…'
She is my Angel. In more ways than one, she has saved me. Saved me from myself, saved me from my lonliness, my despair. I look into her eyes, those beautiful eyes, and see nothing but love. She loves me. She accepts me, despite everything. I have stopped laughing and we are looking at each other, my breath caught in my throat. I lean forward and lift my hand to caress her cheek. "Oh, Christine. I love you..." I say softly, and our lips meet again.
'When you say you love me
Do you know how I love you?'
Thank you for reading, and please review! Thank you!
